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potcfan2003
Senior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: In my own little world... MY world. |
OMG so funny!! I can't wait til brunch!!
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Yes I'm obsessed... You say it like it's a bad thing...
 thank you to Mrs.Fish for the siggy!!
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Dec 12th, 2007 02:15 AM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
DISCLAIMER: I think Sailor would be more well-bred than she is in this skit. It's just for comic relief, Sailor. You know willo adores you.
(The sun is shining, the apples are ripening, and in the luxurious and spacious dining room of the bed and breakfast, things are about to go awry)
Jack: No self-respecting Sparrow wakes up before 10am to go brunching.
Katie: Is it brunching? Is that a word? I thought these were your friends.
Jack: They are, they are, but without me, they'd be married to commodores and single blacksmiths without any adventures of their own.
Katie: I'm sure they...sh, they're already here.
(Will and Elizabeth give them a fake wave)
Jack: It's not too late to say one of us has a headache and continue our little game...
Katie: As fun as "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Sex" is, we did say we'd meet them. (sees Jack is disappointed) Aw, (scratches the back of his neck and caresses him) Don't worry. Hermione will be back for some "petrifying" once this is over. (Jack smiles)
Elizabeth: Good morning. We already got a table.
Katie: Oh hiiii! This is going to be sooo much fun. We hardly ever get a laid-back, restful meal in such a picturesque little dining room.
Jack: Katie, you're gushing.
Will: Here come James and Sailor. (laughs to himself) They came dressed to match.
Elizabeth: What do you mean?
Will: Her crimson sweater matches his bloodshot eyes.
(Sincere but awkward laughter)
Sailor: Hi, everybody! (snaps picture) The forum girls will love that shot!
James: Stop shouting! (sits and holds his head in his hands) Oh, I forgot. (clears throat and sounds like he's reciting) Will, Jack, this brunch will be on me since it was so nice of you to include us and we rarely spend any time together and since I will be saving my next two paychecks for a promise ring of sorts to the love of my life, I can spend this check freely.
Sailor: (faking surprise) My, how generous!
(Will and Jack naturally do not argue this)
Mrs. Butterbaum: Hello, young lovers. Welcome to Discount Donna's Delightful Dining Room of Brunch. Is everyone ready to order?
Will: Ah, yes. I'll have the seafood cakes. Gulf fish and lump crabmeat cakes grilled and served over a bourbon creamed corn sauce with marinated crab fingers...take that, Tia Dalma! Ha ha. I did what your psychotic Davy Jones never could...keep my sanity for ten years ferrying those souls to the afterlife! And when the crew began to get antsy, you know what I started? The bandanna system! Every time they did something good, they got a bandanna! You've never been able to sit comfortably after that, were you, you crab-infested b*tch!
Elizabeth: Uh, that's not what that sounded like. (sees Will wringing his hands together and laughing in triumph) Will?
Will: Oh. Sorry. I'm done.
Mrs. Butterbaum: Uh huh. How about you, beautiful?
Elizabeth/Katie/Sailor: I'll have the...
Mrs. Butterbaum: No, sorry. I meant the beauty who's with the bandanna guy.
Elizabeth: Just the veggie omelet, please. Something about the word shiitake just sounds sexy.
Mrs. Butterbaum: Wow, how about you two. You seem saner.
Katie: Eggs Benedict, please.
Mrs. Butterbaum: You know, you look just like Kate Beckinsale!
Katie: You don't know how often I hear that.
Mrs. Butterbaum: And for the exceptionally sexy pirate here?
Jack: Hee hee, she meant me. The housemade bread plate.
Mrs. Butterbaum: Anything to drink? Milk, mango juice, coffee?
Jack: Just bring me whatever strikes your fancy, dear. I'll drink anything as long as it's Irish. (winks)
Mrs. Butterbaum: (Squeals) Sure thing, handsome. Now, the perky girl.
Sailor: Toasted pecan pancakes! Toasted pecan pancakes! Toasted pecan pancakes!
Mrs. Butterbaum: (to James) You got a live wire there.
James: You have no idea. Corned beef and poached eggs, please.
(Mrs. Butterbaum leaves)
Sailor: So, (getting out her notepad) the girls will have to know: how did everyone spend their evening?
Elizabeth: Oh, it was an evening like no other, Sailor. After a riveting good read by the pirates Roberts and Bartholomew entitled, "Money in the Ground: Best Investment," I had a conversation with my maid about the pros and cons of marrying your boyfriend there. After which I saw my own butler get shot and had to fight for my life as I was taken to Barbossa through the town back when he had the Pearl- all while barefoot!
Sailor: I meant last evening.
Elizabeth: Yes, dear, I know. That's what's called a private life.
Will: Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: I can't help it if she's annoying me.
(Sailor runs off crying)
Jack: Bad form, Lizzie.
Elizabeth: Ugh, fine. (gets up and follows Sailor to the lady's room)
Will: (trying to make things less awkward) So...mango juice.
Jack: You're failing miserably.
Will: Yes, I know.
Katie: Why don't after brunch we all just go our separate ways for a bit and then when we get back, we'll plan a movie night or something.
(Elizabeth and Sailor return, laughing and whispering to each other. They keep looking at Kate and laughing)
Katie: What are you two talking about?
Elizabeth and Sailor: Nothing!
James: You went into the lady's room feeling sad and now you came out of the lady's room happy? (Sailor nods) There can be only one explanation: the lady's room is enchanted. (draws sword) I'll start the expedition and the rest of you will follow, careful not to fall into the traps called stalls.
Sailor: James.
James: What? I'm hungover and anxious. Not a good combination. And why were you whispering about Katie?
Katie: (singing to herself) Right here at the table/little Katie can hear it all...
Sailor: It's how girls apologize to each other, James. Elizabeth came into apologize and say she was only taking out her mood swings on me, so we bonded by gossipping about the odd girl out. No offense, Katie. I loved you in "Underworld."
(Everyone is silent as their food is brought out)
Jack: I wonder who would have put such a thing into a young fangirl's head...Lizzie.
Elizabeth: Excuse me? I apologized and I wasn't mad at Sailor or Katie at all. (takes some of Will's food and puts it on her plate)
Will: Hey!
Sailor: Um, Elizabeth. You probably should have asked if Will was going to eat that.
Elizabeth: (points to the food on her plate) Were you going to eat that? (begins eating it)
Will: Elizabeth, maybe you should take it easy. You don't want to feel bloated from brunch.
Elizabeth: Are you calling me fat?
(Dead silence. Everyone freezes. Sailor snaps a picture)
Will: No, you're the opposite of fat. There's no fat on you at all.
Elizabeth: Oh, so now I'm anorexic. Is that it? Ever since we went on Oprah the press has been making fun of my weight and I expected my husband of all people to support me!
James: Will is very supportive. Why when he was still captain of the Dutchman, he hosted an AA meeting.
Jack: Commodore, shut up and enjoy the show. (is himself shocked but also amused by this very public tiff)
Elizabeth: So you can support your crew with your bandanna system but not me, the working mom who had to give the sex talk to her son herself! Do you know how awkward that is?
Will: You could have waited for me to do that...
Elizabeth: All I've done is wait for you!
Will: Elizabeth, what's gotten into you? Sit down. Enjoy our weekend.
Elizabeth: Stop being so dramatic, Will! (slaps her napkin back onto the table and runs off)
Katie: Did something happen between you two?
Will: No! We got along fine until now. (looks back to make sure she's gone, then takes his food back onto his plate)
James: This is really selling the promise ring, Sailor, just so you know.
Sailor: I can go talk to her...
All: No!
Jack: If you want to keep that pretty head, I'd suggest staying where you are. You see, Sailor, this is a thing that happens to some women known as PMS- post motherhood syndrome.
Katie: You're an ass.
Jack: I know what I'm talking about. After a woman has her first kid, she's happy during the time that it's still cute and helpless, or for lack of a better word, stupid. Now, Will Junior is 10, hitting that age where he's still cute, but becoming more independent and ever since that night he pummelled his mother with a paintball gun...
Will: I knew you'd bring that up.
Jack: ...she's realized he will be able to function without her. Junior will be cute for a few years after this, but it will be an awkward "deer in the headlights" kind of cute.
James: (raises hand) Check please.
Jack: It's all true.
Katie: Jack, I would just blame your rants on your very "Irish" brunch, but since you've barely eaten any of it, I'm just going to attribute it to a spout of stupidity on your part.
Jack: You're talking to the man who sacked Nassau port without firing a shot, my dear. Captain Jack Sparrow does nothing stupid.
Will: Except get captured by cannibals.
Jack: What's that?
James: Or manages to get knocked out by a drunken blacksmith when he's not looking.
Sailor: Or, to reference a highly-debated subject I've discussed with my friends whom we call "sparrabethers," allowing himself to be kissed by a girl who just chained him to a mast.
Jack: (pulls out pistol) All right, who wants it?
Katie: (shoves pistol down) They aren't being mean, sweetheart. It's just that your scene is beginning to resemble post-motherhood syndrome. (snorts)
Will: I'm going to see where Elizabeth's gone. (gets up and leaves)
James: Oh, and upon seeing Davy Jones, instead of resolving the problem, just waves around a jar of dirt singing about how he has a jar of dirt.
Sailor: We're done.
James: Oh, guess I'll just have to write a book then.
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Dec 12th, 2007 03:20 PM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
(in the Turner's room)
Will: Elizabeth? You haven't been this moody since you sold your body to Sao Feng. Talk to me.
Elizabeth: (curls into him) Oh, Will. I feel just terrible. I felt so irritable and let everyone at the table feel it.
Will: (strokes her hair) That's all right. They're our friends. They'll understand.
Elizabeth: Understand what?
Will: Well, that this is your...lady's time.
Elizabeth: That's not it at all.
Will: Oh. Well I'm stumped then.
(Elizabeth whispers something into his ear.)
Cut back to the table
Sailor: So I like to draw in my spare time. I'd love to do portraits of everyone if you'd like.
Katie: That sounds fun. Jack and I may drop in.
Jack: Yes, that is if I don't start singing about dropping in. (glares at James)
Katie: I know what will make you feel better. (she gets out a silky sash and attaches it to his belt) Another effect for my handsome pirate captain.
Jack: (smiles) It offsets Mum's shrunken head just right. (kisses her)
(Will and Elizabeth return)
Elizabeth: Everyone, I have something to say.
Jack: If you got upset because of the cheap buttons I gave you for your anniversary, I'll make it up to you at the next one.
Elizabeth: No, Jack. I have an announcement to make.
(She opens her mouth, but screams are heard instead)
Mrs. Butterbaum: (screaming) Run for your lives! Pirates!
James: We know. They're celebrities now.
(a ship crashes into the side of the bed and breakfast. Barbossa steps out)
Barbossa: Anyone might'a told me 'bout the strong winds at Martha's Vineyard, blowin' me right up to land.
Jack: ha ha, he said "blow me."
Barbossa: So I'll be takin' all ye yuppies' prized possessions now. (he and a crew start pillaging)
Sailor: I guess we have to stop him.
Katie: Yes. Every once in a while, he goes over the deep end. (they run, drawing weapons)
(Elizabeth sighs to herself, then draws her own sword and follows)
Ooh, a few unanswered questions. Until next time!
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Dec 12th, 2007 03:21 PM |
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savvysparrowluv
Queen of the Night
 Gender: Female
Location: Under the stars |
"Check please" - that part had me *cracking up*!!!! Ooh, cliffie - update soon!  Loved it!
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Dec 12th, 2007 04:01 PM |
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katelovespirate
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
HOORAY!!!  That was fantastic, as usual! Sooooo many funny lines... it's too great.
so is Lizzie preggers???
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Dec 12th, 2007 05:56 PM |
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potcfan2003
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: In my own little world... MY world. |
OMG these r sooo good!!
__________________
Yes I'm obsessed... You say it like it's a bad thing...
thank you to Mrs.Fish for the siggy!!
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Dec 12th, 2007 08:58 PM |
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Tramps Lady
Blaine
 Gender: Female
Location: Jump Street Chapel |
that were great...i know whats happening...doo dah...doo dah
__________________
<3 Tommy and Doug McQuaid <3
<3 21 JumpStreet <3
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Dec 13th, 2007 12:05 AM |
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katelovespirate
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
Hahahaha... i just keep imagining how it would be filmed, the angles, the timing... i'm serious, this needs to be a sitcom.
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Dec 13th, 2007 12:17 AM |
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Sifzensinril
Meself
 Gender: Female
Location: In middle of nowhere |
they are great
__________________
If every town was like Tortuga, it would be easy to find Captain Jack Sparrow
A sparrabeth fanlisting 
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Dec 13th, 2007 05:28 AM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
(The situation has been handled and Barbossa sits in jail)
Elizabeth: Well, well, well, isn't this a familiar sight?
Barbossa: If you're referrin' to me, Mrs. Turner, then I suggest you take time out to think about who's been in jail before, hmm?
Elizabeth: Listen, you, I'm very upset with you right now. That ship belongs to me since I'm the pirate king and I had to pay a sh*t-ton to Discount Donna for replacing the front of her dining room.
Barbossa: It was a little too classy for the likes of ye anyway. Come to think of it, that's why I chose to plunder it, the classiness.
Elizabeth: I have half a mind to leave you in there.
Barbossa: Really? What would dear Will Junior have to say about that?
Elizabeth: (goes closer to the bars) Barbossa, you're the least of my worries right now. (whispers) I'm pregnant again.
Barbossa: (astonished) Well that's great! A whole passel of pirates for me to mentor. To tell ye the truth, I miss the days when Junior was little enough he had to be carried everywhere.
Elizabeth: I do too, and I'm excited, but I have a problem.
Barbossa: Will not know?
Elizabeth: No, Will knows.
CUT TO...The Turner house
(Will is in nothing but a pair of briefs and a white dress shirt with sunglasses on, air-guitaring to "Old Time Rock and Roll." There is a half-empty bottle of champagne nearby.)
CUT TO Elizabeth and Barbossa
Elizabeth: It's Jack.
Barbossa: Now, look. I kept my nose out of whatever you two did when Will was gone...
Elizabeth: How dare you insinuate such a thing! Jack is a most loyal friend.
Barbossa: Yes, a friend you can't share your good news with but you can share with a jailbird. (sits back and rests his arms behind his head) Good times, these.
Elizabeth: No, it's...he took it very hard when I told him I was pregnant with Junior. When Will came back, I know he felt left out since we depended on him so much, so I don't know what news of this other baby will do.
Barbossa: I'll tell him.
Elizabeth: No! You couldn't be tactful if you tried.
Barbossa: "Mrs. Turner, over the years I have noticed that your lovely brunette waves that made undead men long to run their fingers through it, has become a dull, straw-colored mound attached to your scalp."
Elizabeth: One more comment on my hair and....
Barbossa: All right. Bail me out, O Pirate King, and I'll help you out.
CUT TO...The Turner house
Junior: Mommy! Tell me all about Vermont!
Elizabeth: What do you really want to know?
Junior: Well, mostly about the part with Uncle Hector crashing a ship into the building, but how did you leave without being pregnant and come back pregnant?
Elizabeth: Thanks for clearing up any loose ends I may have missed, Will.
Will: Junior, we talked about how that happened, remember?
(Junior flashes back)
Flashback Will: (sitting on Junior's bed) So, when a woman says she's late that means...?
Flashback Junior: That her menstrual cycle is late! Hooray!
Flashback Will: Now, who wants to get into his underwear and dress shirt and shades and air-guitar with Daddy?
Flashback Junior: Me!
END FLASHBACK
Elizabeth: So that explains why you're both in your underwear.
Junior: It's what manly men do, Mommy. You wouldn't understand.
Will: I'm so glad I'm here for you this pregnancy! I'll do whatever you want, Elizabeth: rub your back, go out and get you Chinese food, clean up after you if you make a mess on the floor...
Elizabeth: I'm not a puppy, Will.
Will: (jumps up and down and hugs her) No, you're just pregnant!
Junior: Late for her menstrual cycle!
Barbossa: That's my cue to leave.
Elizabeth: Will, you haven't told anyone yet, have you?
Will: No, just Dad.
Elizabeth: How did you get ahold of your father?
Will: I'll show you what I installed while you were bailing out Barbossa.
(takes her into their study they share)
Will: Dad-link on.
Elizabeth: You watched Richie Rich one too many times, haven't you?
Will: This is awesome. (to machine) Locate Dad.
(Bootstrap appears on a screen. There is a roaring party behind him)
Bootstrap: Hey, you kids! We're throwing a little shindig on the Dutchman due to Elizabeth's condition. Hi, Elizabeth!
Elizabeth: Hi, Bill.
(Machine goes off)
Will: You aren't mad I said anything, are you?
Elizabeth: I'm just worried about how Jack will take it.
Will: (suddenly bitter) Oh. He has a girlfriend now, Elizabeth. He'll just be happy to have another kid to play with.
Junior: He likes playing with me!
Will: Of course he does. I'm just saying he'll be excited and not upset to hear you're going to have a brother or sister.
Junior: Oh. (runs off, not upset anymore)
Will: Elizabeth, we obviously can't take back the baby situation, so you can't be afraid to tell him.
Elizabeth: I know. Old habits die hard, I guess. I was a whole two months in before I told Jack last time.
Will: I...what's that sound? Do you hear talking?
(They both seem curious. They go back into the living room. Junior has grabbed the phone)
Junior: ...that's right, Uncle Jack. Mommy and Daddy went to Vermont, and, well, the details are hard to describe, but she's definitely having another baby.
Elizabeth: Junior!
Junior: Wow! Her menstrual cycle may be late but she's not! I'll talk to you later, Uncle Jack. (hangs up and smiles sweetly at his parents) Yes?
Will: How did you get my cell phone? [Note: during his many travels, one of Will's favorite stories is how he got his cell phone while in Prague. But that's a story for another time]
Junior: I don't know.
Will: Junior, your mother and I wanted to tell Jack about the baby.
Junior: Now I couldn't have known that, could I?
Elizabeth: Why don't you go upstairs? We'll talk about this later.
(Junior does the angry-kid-stomp up the stairs)
Elizabeth: To think he might have damaged your Prague cell phone.
Will: That's not why you're upset.
Barbossa: (comes out of their kitchen with a carton of orange juice and some bagels) I heard the kid but didn't feel like stopping him?
Will: What are you doing with all of that?
Elizabeth: That's our food.
Barbossa: Oh, well, this is awkward. I was just hungry and wanted dinner with the show I'm about to get.
Elizabeth: Show?
Barbossa: Jack will be running over him as fast as that stupid way he runs can get him here and I also took the liberty to call James and Sailor. They'll be stopping by with what they described as "a one-of-a-kind gift." (sips his orange juice) Mmm, tangy.
More to come later!
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Dec 13th, 2007 02:12 PM |
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katelovespirate
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
*loud bursts of laughter* Oh my word... WIll and Junior air-guitaring in dress shirts and underwear? A dad link?!? This out of control!!!! In a good way, of course!!!
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Dec 13th, 2007 02:17 PM |
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Tramps Lady
Blaine
Gender: Female
Location: Jump Street Chapel |
lmao!
when this came up
"Will is in nothing but a pair of briefs and a white dress shirt with sunglasses on"
i thought it was gonna be "everybody dance now" or "i like short shorts" lmao
__________________
<3 Tommy and Doug McQuaid <3
<3 21 JumpStreet <3
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Dec 13th, 2007 02:26 PM |
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savvysparrowluv
Queen of the Night
Gender: Female
Location: Under the stars |
Willo, you just keep getting better and better!!! LMBO!!!
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Dec 13th, 2007 03:49 PM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
A very special episode of "POTC: Continued." This is what critics and TV historians would call the "jumping the shark" moment, that is, if the pregnancy itself wasn't a shark jump. Damn you, Fonzie!
Elizabeth: Gifts? Already? Barbossa, how could you? I should have kept you in that cell. Will, say something!
Will: Hey, my boys can swim. That's all I care about. (tossles Junior's hair)
CUT TO, the street the Turners live on.
(Jack is doing his crazy lizard run over to their house. [Note: Will and Liz live in a suburban-type area in a coastal town. Jack lives on the Pearl, but docks it to their town quite a bit to visit them])
CUT TO...the Turner house
Will: Elizabeth, just calm down. (realizes he just tossled Junior's hair) We told you to go upstairs.
Junior: I thought it was an empty threat.
(Will and Elizabeth glare at him)
Junior: Awww (goes back upstairs)
CUT TO...the street
(Jack is still doing the lizard run, dodging other people walking and a loose dog. The music from Ferris Bueller's Day Off begins playing as he runs through an entire house.)
Jack: Smells good. (to the people on the patio) Dinner's ready! (continues running)
Cut to...Will and Elizabeth's house.
Will: Who cares how Jack feels about it? He's still going to be our friend, and if he's not, then we'll just change Junior's guardianship.
(Jack bursts through the door)
Jack: Is it true?
Elizabeth: Jack, we didn't mean for Junior to be the one to tell you. He just got so excited.
Jack: Hmph. Ten years of watching over your kid and that's the thanks I get? Hearing the biggest news since Barbossa had to go to traffic school from a kid?
Barbossa: Hey! I passed that class, thank you. (to himself) Cheaters DO prosper.
Will: We didn't know he was going to be so anxious to tell you. We wanted to make it special and tell all our friends ourselves.
Jack: And where was ol' Jack in all this? Sitting in the back at another ridiculous dinner party where some hooligan makes everyone think he's my brother? At some bed and breakfast having a private weekend with me girl when it's suddenly crashed? I would think I was a little higher on the friendship ladder than the rest of your sparse, yuppie friends.
Will: Yuppies? (getting angry)
Elizabeth: (near tears) Please, Jack. You mean the world to us! We named you Junior's guardian if something should happen to the both of us.
Jack: Going to name this next one mine in the rare event both of you do something incredibly stupid? Well, that's not too rare considering how Captain Jack Sparrow has bailed you both out of jams before. (stomps out the door. He suddenly comes back in) And no more anniversary buttons! (storms back out)
(Elizabeth starts crying)
Will: Elizabeth...
Elizabeth: (dries her eyes) I'm going to go plan a plundering spree for the pirates. If you need me, I'll be at the brethren court. (lifts the head of a bust of Shakespeare off. A panel that was the wall slides back and reveals a firefighter's pole with the appropriate label "Elizabeth." Elizabeth slides down it to where we can only guess will be the brethren court's meeting room)
Will: (thinks and has a murderous look in his eye) Barbossa, watch Junior. (leaves)
Barbossa: (unfolds their paper and starts reading it) The things I do for these kids...
CUT TO...the street.
(Jack is walking off, Will following him)
Will: All right, Jack. We've known each other for over 10 years and we're finally going to have it out.
Jack: Oh! I'm shaking in my sexy pirate boots! Where's your sword?
Will: No swords. (puts up his fists)
Jack: (laughs) I'm going to kick your ass.
Will: Elizabeth said you took her first pregnancy really hard and you've practically drove her to tears with this one...
Jack: William...
Will: And if I wasn't gone these past 10 years, I would have beaten up the man in love with my wife...
Jack: Wait, what?
(It's too late, Will has punched him square in the face. Jack falls over)
Will: (doing a boxer's bounce) I knew watching Million Dollar Baby was worth it. Get up. That felt good. I want to do it again.
Jack: What the hell's wrong with you? (takes a swing and punches Will. Will goes down) Bet that didn't happen in Million Dollar Baby.
Will: (shakes it off and gets up) I could do this all day.
Jack: You've got nothing to worry about with your wife, Turner! Yeah, I was in love with Lizzie. Was! Since comparing your brain to the size of a pea would be a compliment at this point, I'll compare it to the size of the little flakes in Quaker oatmeal. Yeah! What do you think of that?
Will: Jack, stop rambling! How can I even trust you? How do I know you don't still love Elizabeth?
Jack: (shouting) Because I love Katie!
(Dead silence. Jack is humiliated by so openly revealing his emotions)
Will: Jack...
Jack: William, (searches his pockets for some alcohol) Do you want to go for a drink?
Will: Are you in the mood to drink?
Jack: I only drink when I'm really happy...or really sad...or really angry...or scared...or...what were we talking about?
Will: Drinks?
Jack: Oh. You want to get a drink?
Will: Yeah. So, um, have you said anything to Katie?
Jack: (shaking it all off) What? Oh. No, mate. Captain Jack Sparrow does not speak such syrupy drivel. (puts arm around him as they walk off into the distance)
Will: Jack, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
(Strains of As Time Goes By start playing)
Will: Why does that song keep following me?
Whew! Finally, all the unresolved feelings between Jack and Will are let out. So, we have a lot going on. Keep your name/sex suggestions coming!
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Dec 14th, 2007 01:24 AM |
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katelovespirate
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
Ah, hoorah! that was insanely fantastic. I love Barbossa... "The things I do for these kids"... and Jack, "I'm shaking in my sexy pirate boots"... hahahahaha i LOVE it!
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Dec 14th, 2007 02:07 AM |
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Tramps Lady
Blaine
Gender: Female
Location: Jump Street Chapel |
i loved it willo
__________________
<3 Tommy and Doug McQuaid <3
<3 21 JumpStreet <3
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Dec 14th, 2007 03:22 AM |
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Sifzensinril
Meself
Gender: Female
Location: In middle of nowhere |
I love it!!
What Prague cell phone? I have still mine, Will didn't steal it 
__________________
If every town was like Tortuga, it would be easy to find Captain Jack Sparrow
A sparrabeth fanlisting
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Dec 14th, 2007 05:25 AM |
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potcfan2003
Senior Member
Gender: Female
Location: In my own little world... MY world. |
"Smells good. (to the people on the patio) Dinner's ready! (continues running)" OMG sooo funny!!!
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Yes I'm obsessed... You say it like it's a bad thing...
thank you to Mrs.Fish for the siggy!!
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Dec 16th, 2007 09:29 PM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
That's from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, potcfan. I couldn't remember the whole sequence to write it out, but that's not my joke. Just making sure the fat cats of 80s entertainment don't track me down.
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Dec 18th, 2007 12:43 PM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
Ah, pregnant Elizabeth.
(James and Sailor have stopped by with an enormous package)
Will: Wow. That's an enormous package, James.
Sailor: He does have an enormous package, doesn't he? (pinches his butt)
James: (trying not to be into it) Sailor...(yes, he is into it)...later. Yes, Will. Elizabeth, I myself was the second child in a family of two. Those were the days. Jacob was my older brother, a kind child in his own right, but one doesn't tend to think so when he, meaning I, got all his hand-me-downs. His clothes, his toys, his crib, his cloth diapers...
(Will and Elizabeth share a disgusted look)
James: Do you have any idea what it's like to show up to naval training wearing your brother's wig? No, nobody does, except me. The whole first year of my training consisted of, "How's it hanging, Jacob?" and I'd have to say, "It's James." (sighs. Sailor pats his hand)
Elizabeth: May I open it now?
James: Oh! Sure.
Elizabeth: (opening the large package) Why, it's a gorgeous crib! (peers in) and every single season of The Simpsons on dvd.
Will: Whow! The Simpsons. You know, I only saw the one where Mr. Burns got shot. Don't tell me who did it, but my guess is that it was Apu.
(Everyone looks at the floor)
Elizabeth: Thank you, James. (hugs him) And you, Sailor. (hugs her)
(Sailor snaps a picture. Elizabeth glares at her. Sailor then hands it to her)
Sailor: Uh.....for your baby book!
Elizabeth: This is such a generous gift. And it's white. We can decorate the nursery any way we want.
Will: You mean I will decorate the nursery any way we want. I plan on being actively involved here, Elizabeth. You did so much the last time you were pregnant. Now, all you have to do is go to work and pop the kid out. (makes a pop sound effect and dramatically hugs Elizabeth's pregnancy area)
(Barbossa comes down the stairs)
Elizabeth: What are you still doing here?
Barbossa: I took a bath.
Will: A bath?
(Flashback to Barbossa covered in bubblebath. He's playing with several toy ships.)
FLASHBACK BARBOSSA: (making Ship 1 talk) So, you think you can take my NEW ship, Commodore Barbossa? (making Ship 2 talk) Damn skippy, Jack. I'll take this ship from you just like I took the Pearl. (makes the ships battle)
(Flashback is over)
Will: We'll just take this crib up to the guest bedroom. We decided all our guests just pass out on the couch down here, so there's no point in a guest bedroom. It'll be perfect for a nursery.
(He and James try to take it up the stairs. It's a bit bulky)
Sailor: Maybe you should take it apart and assemble it when you get up there.
James: I think we know how to wield a crib, Sailor. (the crib crashes back down to the floor. Fortunately it is in one piece. James and Will stare at it stupidly)
James: I, uh, have decided, uh, we shall disassemble it and put it back together upstairs.
Barbossa: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
(Jack walks in, arm around Kate. They look at the crib at the bottom of the stairs. They look up at Will and James who are still staring blankly down at it)
Jack: So, a crib.
Katie: (looks down at their much smaller gift) Well, we can't stay. We're just on our way out...to get a more expensive gift.
Elizabeth: No, no! Come in. I'm so glad you showed up and everything's fine. (takes gift) You didn't have to bring anything. I mean, I have a whole brethren court to order to give me a baby shower.
Katie: It's not a crib or anything.
Jack: Well, it could be if you just add water. (laughs at his own joke)
(Elizabeth opens it to see a chubby stuffed penguin chick looking up at her with a sweet smile)
Elizabeth: (squealing) Oh it's soooo cute! (hugs them and then starts doing baby talk to the penguin) Aren't you cute? Aren't you? Aren't you?
Jack: This brings back memories.
Katie: She baby-talked to penguins a lot?
Jack: Not just penguins. She baby-talked puppies, houseplants, her shoes, Barbossa.
Barbossa: (mocking Elizabeth) Who's a sweet witty bitty Barbossa? You are! You are! (rolls eyes) I guess it was only a matter of time before those days were back.
Jack: We were going to take Junior to get some ice cream.
James: Actually, we could use a hand with this crib. I've never exactly disassembled one of these. (gets out a sledge hammer, looks at it, looks back at the crib, looks back at the sledge hammer)
Katie: If you put the sledge hammer down, you will have an extra hand. Junior!
Junior: Hi, guys!
Jack: How's some ice cream sound? (to Katie) Best make sure he doesn't feel jealous of the new baby.
Junior: Sure. (comes up with a plan) Although, ice cream alone won't take out the void of not being Mum and Dad's only child anymore.
Katie: Aw, well, we'll go to the park afterwards then, ok? (takes his hand) We're off!
Will: (looking at instructions for crib) "You will need a Phllip's Head Screwdriver."
James: Will, it's pronounced, "Philippe's Head."
(Sailor and Elizabeth look worried)
Next time: Elizabeth starts her project of making a video tape for the baby.
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Dec 19th, 2007 01:29 AM |
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