Hidalgo Review
by Rose 'Bams' Cooper (bams AT 3blackchicks DOT com)March 15th, 2004
'3BlackChicks Review...'
HIDALGO (2004)
Rated PG-13; running time 133 minutes
Studio: Walt Disney Pictures
Genre: Action/Adventure
Seen at: Eastwood Neighborhood Cinema Group (Lansing, Michigan) Official site: http://hidalgo.movies.go.com/
IMDB site: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0317648/combined Writer: John Fusco (based on a true story)
Director: Joe Johnston
Cast: Viggo Mortensen, Omar Sharif, Zuleikha Robinson,
Louise Lombard, Floyd Red Crow Westerman, Harsh Nayyar,
Adam Alexi-Malle, Said Taghmaoui, Silas Carson, Peter Mensan, Adoni Maropis, Franky Mwangi
Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2004
Review URL:
http://www.3blackchicks.com/2004reviews/bamshidalgo.html
We have a running joke in my office that Harrison Ford is too old to be playing Indiana Jones. It's just a pity that, HIDALGO used as a guide, Viggo Mortensen isn't Indy material yet, either.
THE STORY (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**)
As a half-Sioux Pony Express courier passing for all-White in the late 1800's, Frank T. Hopkins (Viggo Mortensen) was distressed when a dispatch he took to Wounded Knee, led to the slaughter of the Sioux people there. After drinking himself silly as a player in a staged "Wild West" show, Hopkins takes up the challenge made by Aziz (Adam Alexi-Malle), manservant to Sheikh Riyadh (Omar Sharif). The Sheikh and his followers are not amused that Hopkins' "lowly" Mustang, Hidalgo, is touted in America as being the best long-distance race horse in the world; especially not when they have a number of prize Arabian thoroughbreds that say otherwise.
With the blessing of Chief Eagle Horn (Floyd 'Red Crow' Westerman), Hopkins and Hidalgo go to Saudi Arabia to compete in the "Ocean Of Fire", a centuries-old 3000-mile horse race that in all its long tradition, has never had a foreigner in competition: man, or horse. This doesn't sit well with the Bedouin competitors, including the Prince (Said Taghmaoui) and his favored stallion, or Katib (Silas Carson), the Sheikh's nefarious nephew. And if all that weren't enough, Hopkins has to deal with strong-willed Lady Anne Davenport (Louise Lombard), Jazira (Zuleikha Robinson), the put-upon daughter of the Sheikh - and of course, the horse Hidalgo, who appears to be smarter than them all.
THE UPSHOT
I swear, there's a page in the reviewing pad that I used to take notes while watching HIDALGO that reads "They're in the desert. They're in the desert. Lookie there, they're in the desert. Guess what? Still in the desert. Boy, that's a lot of sand. Bet it's hot out there. Maybe someone should've packed water, y'think? Wonder how that American fellow found his way through all that sand. One grain pretty much looks like another to me. Ooh, more desert. Hey, what's th...no, still desert". If I remember correctly, that page spanned a 35-minute period of the movie.
INDIANA JONES 4, it ain't. Heck, it isn't even THE MUMMY. Granted, no one ever said HIDALGO would be either of those types of movies; but the trailers sure did imply it. And as usual, the trailers showed all the interesting bits. Somebody oughta rake up the money they could make by simply putting together a trailers movie. No, wait; they already do that on a weekly basis.
HIDALGO is a fair-to-middlin' movie that could've been much better with three changes: more editing (133 minutes was sheer torture), less incredulousness, and, let's face it, a more interesting topic. Hey, I like a good horse race as much as the next chick; generally, the faster-paced the race, the better. But watching HIDALGO at times was like watching sand move through an hour glass. I wasn't kidding before when I said I spent a lot of time in my notes writing about how they were still in the desert. Images of paint drying flashed in my head, cutting the tedium of sand.
HIDALGO did threaten sporadically to wake me up, and seriously, when it moved away from the truth of the story it was based upon, it did manage to get interesting, even downright exciting. Along with the derring-do during the action scenes, Harsh Nayyar as Yusef, the goatherder suffering punishment by being made to be Hopkins' servant, was especially funny. Though his (I assume) skills were great fun to watch, the stuff the horse playing Hidalgo was made to do *in character*, made me roll my eyes with disbelief; especially near the end. I've been trying not to cuss since my PASSION experience, but those final scenes tested my mettle. Still, I was able to let it go and realize that without the unbelievable bits of HIDALGO, this movie would've been dead in the water. And speaking of death, way to go on fulfilling that Brotha Rule, guys. The Diva would've been proud.
As for Viggo Mortensen, though his cowboy drawl and don't-give-a-damn attitude seemed so completely out of place both in America and Saudi Arabia, when Hopkins buckled his swash, I was right there with him. And then...more sand. Looks like they're in the desert again...
As often as I berate the tendency to use female characters only as the Warm Place To Put It, it surprised me that neither of the featured actresses (Zuleikha Robinson and Louise Lombard) were used thusly. I'm still not sure whether that's A Good Thing or not, though if they weren't to be used like that, it would've been good to give Hopkins a better love interest than that horse. Must get mighty lonely in the desert, eh bud?
BAMMER'S BOTTOM LINE
I realize that there's only so much you can do with a tale about a man who rides his horse on a fairly slow-moving race through the desert. I was just hoping the folks behind HIDALGO would do more than "Mr. Ed Meets The Mummy".
HIDALGO rating: flashing yellowlight
Rose "Bams" Cooper
Webchick and Editor,
3BlackChicks Review
Entertainment Reviews With Flava!
Copyright Rose Cooper, 2004
EMAIL: [email protected]
http://www.3blackchicks.com/
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
