Lara Croft: Tomb Raider Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)July 10th, 2001
LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2001 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
So what is the value of a video game that can only be watched? Especially one with long patches of leaden and ridiculous dialog such as, "My ignorance amuses me." In the case of LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER, a non-interactive video game released on celluloid, the value was almost fifty million dollars in a single weekend. The secret of this movie, which speaks directly to our inner (12-year-old) child, was summarized succinctly by my appropriately aged son. He says that its star, Angelina Jolie, is "hell a hot."
The plot involves a special event that occurs when all of the planets align, which, we are told, only happens every 5,000 years. (Hmm, does that mean the studio will spare us a sequel until the year 7001? We're probably not going to be that lucky.) Lara Croft (Jolie) is given a mission by her dead father, played by Jolie's real-life father, Jon Voight. Among the movie's "memorable" moments is an attack sequence that looks like something from THE PLANET OF THE EASILY BROKEN STONE APES.
The convoluted story is unimportant since the movie has only two modes, killing people with guns, feet and fists and killing time with dopey dialog. Croft is an indestructible fighting machine like a typical video game character. Even when she is unarmed, she is more than a match for over a dozen hardened warriors, each armed with sleek machine guns.
"Lara's overrated," one of the characters remarks. Boy, I'd say. Save yourself the money, and go watch a neighborhood kid play one of the Lara Croft video games. That way, when you quickly get bored and leave, you'll have saved yourself time and money.
LARA CROFT: TOMB RAIDER runs a long 1:40. It is rated PG-13 for action violence and some sensuality and would be acceptable for kids around 9 and up.
My son Jeffrey, age 12, gave the movie ****, saying the action was great and the plot was pretty good.
The film is playing in nationwide release now in the United States. In the Silicon Valley, it is showing at the AMC and the Century theaters.
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