Lars and the Real Girl Review
by Jonathan Moya (jjmoya1955 AT yahoo DOT com)November 3rd, 2007
Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
A Movie Review by Jonathan Moya
Rating: B or 3 out of 5
The Review:
My experience with plastic sex dolls is limited to the occasional fumbling around with a condom. Although I must admit I was psychologically scarred when in a pique of curiosity I did pull down the pants of my G.I. Joe and discovered that underneath he looked exactly like Barbie. And so did Ken too! For the two years between first and second grade, I thought I was living with an alien thing growing between my legs. I thought I was a Martian. It was the only explanation that seemed to fit. It was also, my only childhood delusion.
So Lars and the real girl, about a 27 year old virgin so painfully shy that he treats the anatomically correct sex mannequin he "met" on the internet as his real girlfriend, has a shared ache for me and all the other Martians and nerds who grew up scared about that thing in-between their legs. And if parents were really caring and smart, all shy boys would have a real girl like Lars for their first love.
The real girl of the title is Bianca who comes fully assembled and delivered in a Frankenstein-size crate suitably attired in black arm and fishnet stockings, a matching sequin top and skirt, and smart designer pumps.
Lars (Ryan Gosling in a performance so wittily self-contained it is easy to miss the fact that most of it is improvised) spent his pre-Bianca life in the converted garage apartment in back of his brother's Gus (Paul Schneider) house avoiding all attempts at breakfast, lunch and dinner invites his brother's wife Karin (Emily Mortimer) tried to hijack his way; excusing himself from the innocent yearnings of Margo (Kelli Garner), the blonde from his church with a naïf's smile, an I.Q. and a pulse; and (this being a PG-13 film with no solo yo-yo playing allowed) nights alone in his dark bedroom.
With a half loopy, almost sexual smile on his face Lars announces his newfound friend to Gus. Bianca confined to a wheelchair, is a missionary of Brazilian-Dutch blood- a religious girl whose faith won't allow for Lars and her to sleep under the same roof.
"Bianca is in town for a reason," observes the local therapist and general practitioner Dagmar (Patricia Clarkson) explaining Lars delusion to the perplexed Gus and Karin. "Just go along with it." And everyone in town does.
Their romance is a kind and gentle relationship until Bianca develops a village life. She volunteers at church and the hospital, reads with the aid of an audio book to the first graders at school, even has a part-time job as window dressing at the dress shop in the mall-all to the chagrin of Lars.
"How did you know. that you were a man," Lars asks Gus in the kitchen one day. "You grow up when you decide to do right. And not just right for you-- for everybody. Even when it hurts," Gus replies.
Lars is uncomfortably starting to notice more grown up things-namely the curves, the legs and ass on Margo as she shimmies up and down at every strike she makes at the bowling alley- the two out on a friendly date intended to cheer up Lars enduring another lonely night of Bianca
volunteerism.
It leads to Bianca and Lars first argument. Days later Bianca becomes sick. When Lars resuscitates Margo's office teddy bear after another coworker had hung it with a noose made from an extension cord (in retaliation for Margo stealing his action figures), Bianca suddenly stops breathing and is admitted to the hospital. And things only get better for Lars.
Nancy Oliver's' screenplay is a delicious inside joke. Oliver was a regular scribe for Six Feet Under, the comic drama about a family of undertakers that ran for five seasons on HBO. Substitute a corpse for Bianca and this would be a weird horror comedy about necrophilia. The chaste "manno"-philia allows Oliver to pitch the ruse to a wider audience, while keeping it Hollywood small-town gentle. The lack of an edge or dissent from the townsfolk to Lars affliction robs Lars and the Real Girl of any emotional depth it might have-making it just a small good film with some charm and strong performances.
Craig Gillespie's gives Lars the muted color scheme and subdued camera placement typical for independent comedies now. With a more talented cast of Billy Bob Thornton, Susan Sarandon and Sean William Scott, Gillespie released, just a month earlier, the lamentable Mr. Woodcock. The movie had the feel and tone of a production shoot where everyone was just there for the paycheck. Lars which was filmed and finished before Woodcock, at least had some beginner's luck and a cast that wanted to make some art on its side.
Lars and the Real Girl is as gentle as a last breath-just not as final.
It gets a B.
The Credits:
Directed by Craig Gillespie; written by Nancy Oliver; director of photography, Adam Kimmel; edited by Tatiana S. Riegel; music by David Torn; production designer, Arv Grewal; produced by Sidney Kimmel, John Cameron and Sarah Aubrey; released by Metro Goldwyn Mayer Pictures. Running time: 106 minutes.
WITH: Ryan Gosling (Lars Lindstrom), Emily Mortimer (Karin), Paul Schneider (Gus), Kelli Garner (Margo), Patricia Clarkson (Dagmar), Nancy Beatty (Mrs. Gruner), Maxwell McCabe-Lokos (Kurt) and Karen Robinson (Cindy).
Lars and the Real Girl" is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). No man-and-doll sex, just courtship.
Copyright 2007 by Jonathan Moya
Home | New Reviews | Now on DVD | Archives
More on 'Lars and the Real Girl'...
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
