No Such Thing Review

by Jerry Saravia (faust668 AT aol DOT com)
May 24th, 2002

NO SUCH THING (2001)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
RATING: Two stars
May 23rd, 2002

I have only seen two Hal Hartley films, "The Unbelievable Truth" and "Henry Fool." Both are existential dramas, mostly dealing with pain and repressed emotions. The main thrust in those films was the existence of the individual, and the individual's recognition of his or her own futile existence. "No Such Thing" now focuses on the existential nature of a monster, not a human being. A radical idea indeed, and I am not sure it is a major success at all but, at the very least, it gives it a whirl.

Beatrice (Sarah Polley) is the assistant to the "Boss" (Helen Mirren), the chain-smoking producer of a trashy, tabloid TV show. The latest news are the problems in New York City, including terrorist organizations infiltrating subway systems and bridges (this film was released last March though it was initially set to be released in the fall of 2001. In these troubled times, the terrorism angle is sure to be a reason). The Boss is sick of the latest news and wants something catastrophic and unusual - something to send shock waves across the country. Lo and behold, one of their TV news crews had disappeared somewhere off the coast of Iceland. One of the crew members was Beatrice's fiance. Beatrice decides to follow the story and find out what happened to her fiance and everyone else. A jet plane carrying Beatrice crashes though, and she miraculously survives. She then has to face a spinal operation and intense physical therapy for six months. Beatrice recuperates and proceeds to go to Iceland. She finds that a horned, fire-breathing monster (Robert Burke) has killed the crew. This monster is isolated, immortal, a drunk and obscene. Beatrice knows he will not hurt her, and he trusts her enough to accompany her to find a reclusive doctor named Dr. Artaud, the only known man who can kill the monster. Make no mistake, the monster wishes to be killed so he can end his suffering.

After reading this far, you might be saying, "How ridiculous!" Of course, it is but Hartley never aims for satire or for laughs. He has not crafted a horror film either. This is more of an expose of how the media turns freaks into fodder for the masses - oh, the exploitation! The horror! But it is also a love story of sorts between the beauty and the beast, and how the beauty manages to forget the beast while he's being exploited. It is also how a monster views himself in an existential world where pain and suffering will go on and on. He can't stop himself from killing people, but he does make a promise to Beatrice not to kill after leaving his island for America. But I can't say that all of "No Such Thing" is really that coherent. It is a mess, straining and working to be one kind of film before changing and shaping itself to be something else.

The first thirty minutes of "No Such Thing" are as beautiful and mysterious as most films can be. We follow Beatrice on her journey to Iceland, and Polley makes her character strong and compassionate. I even liked the scenes of her and the monster. However, when the film shifts its setting to America, it becomes a self-conscious jumble of how the media is morally corrupt. How often have we seen this cliche played over and over again? How cardboard can Helen Mirren and any of the stock news characters get? Why even bring the monster to America? Why not let the story stay in the Iceland setting since in such a remote land, anything can happen? Why is the monster such an obnoxious, indefensible creature with no apparent remorse for anyone or anything? If he had existed since the dawn of man, would four-letters be the extent of his language and understanding?

"No Such Thing" could have been so much more, but the last half of the film fails mainly because it forgoes its initial ideas for mediocre ones. Burke's monster can be repetitious, as is Mirren's shtick, but Polley shines brightly in her role. Her best scenes are the quiet ones, such as the moments prior to her operation or when she gets drunk with other Icelanders. I also liked a priceless scene where she practically gets mugged by a heroin chick in New York (though I am not quite sure of the significance of that scene). But Beatrice's shift from compassionate to merely hogging the media spotlight when bringing the monster to America is curiously unsatisfying and inconsistent. I can't say that I recommend "No Such Thing" because it does fall apart and never recovers. But I will say that Hartley's failure is infinitely more satisfying than failures from hack directors. At least he has something to say.

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