Stardust Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)August 10th, 2007
STARDUST
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2007 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): * 1/2
A bore for young and old alike, STARDUST features a large and talented cast -- all wasted.
This fantasy comedy is set in the mid-1800s in England and in the adjoining mythical land of Stormhold, which is just over a stone wall that none dare cross. You can think of it as a blend of THE PRINCESS BRIDE and LORD OF THE RINGS, with a little bit of the "Haunted Mansion" Disneyland ride thrown in the uneven mix. The mythology is silly, complex and sometimes confusing, not that you'll care. Even Ian McKellen's rich narration can't save this film.
Claire Danes plays Yvaine, a star come to earth. She is also the ticket for Tristan (Charlie Cox) to his wedding with Victoria (Sienna Miller, INTERVIEW), a girl who doesn't love him in the least. Of course, we can all see how Tristan would be so much better off with Yvaine, even if she has the disadvantage of not being human.
Meanwhile, an evil queen named Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer), aided by her two equally mean sisters, is trying to cut out Yvaine's heart. I kind of got lost at this point, but I think possession of Yvaine's heart will permit Lamia to stay beautiful. When we first meet Lamia and her evil sisters, they all sport the most ridiculous looking rubber facemasks you've ever seen -- well, at least since last Halloween. In one of the film's briefly satisfying moments, the newly lovely Lamia strips down and winks at herself in the mirror, as she gets turned on by her own naked body.
Is there anything I liked? Not much.
The ever-present music is as sometimes stirring as it is relentlessly didactic and bombastic. It's nice at first, but a little goes a long way. The breath-taking scenery of lush rolling hills looks like England must have appeared before the Industrial Revolution and before many people inhabited it. So, as a travelogue of how most tourists would probably like the whole country to appear, the movie is at least minimally satisfying on that level.
Finally, I have no idea whatsoever as to who the intended audience is for this film. It has very little in it for any age.
STARDUST runs way too long at 2:05. It is rated PG-13 for "some fantasy violence and risqué humor" and would be acceptable for kids around 11 and up.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, August 10, 2007. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and the Camera Cinemas.
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Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
