The Skeleton Key Review
by [email protected] (johnny_betts AT hotmail DOT com)August 12th, 2005
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Skeleton Key
http://www.themoviemark.com/moviereviews/skeletonkey.asp
PLOT
Kate Hudson's a sexy little thing who works for a hospice - making a little money before she goes to nursing school. She tires of her current job when she realizes nobody cares about the patients once they're dead. They're ready to move the bodies out and chunk the personal effects in the garbage if no family comes to claim them. So Ms. Hudson decides to take the unenviable job of taking care of a really old man in a really old Louisiana mansion. The man recently had a stroke, and he's just too much work for his wife to take care of alone.
Kate (donnin' some cute little tight pants) soon realizes that there's something strange about the house. Can she figure out what caused the old man to have a stroke, and what exactly does Hoodoo and Voodoo have to do with everything? A mysterious tale of Southern gothic lore ensues.
JOHNNY'S TAKE
Wait just a minute here! Do you mean to tell me that we're finally getting a horror movie this year that isn't a remake, a sequel, or based on a Japanese movie? Stop the presses! Somebody's trying something original in Hollywood! OK, so maybe this isn't *so* original that it's bustin' down the horror genre door and makin' up new rules as it goes along, but I have to give them credit for trying something new.
It's true that this follows a familiar trail - put a lead character in a position that most people wouldn't find attractive and have her do things that most of us probably would avoid doing. First off, you may wonder what exactly Kate finds appealing about becoming a full-time, live-in caretaker at a creepy ol' house in Terrebonne Parish. Well, the $1000 a week paycheck doesn't hurt. But she also has some lingering guilt over not being there for her father when he passed away due to a sickness she didn't even know he had. She sees this as some sort of redemption I suppose. So she takes the job.
Personally, I think having to bathe an invalid, naked old man would be horror enough, but the story gets darker from there. There are more than 30 rooms in the house, and each one has a separate key. However, there are two skeleton keys that will open all the rooms. Kate's lucky enough to get one of those keys. How many of you want to place bets that there'll be at least one door that she probably shouldn't open?
Go ahead and collect your winnings because there's something strange about the attic (it had to be either that or the basement, right?)! So what's special about the attic? Ben (the old dude) had a stroke in there and supposedly became paralyzed on both sides, but things start to happen that cause Kate to question if something more sinister is at work. Did Ben see something that caused him to have the stroke? What's the history behind the house? Why is the attic door blocked? Will I ever not confuse the names of Peter Sarsgaard and Stellan Skarsgård?
This is an enjoyable film if, like me, you're willing to let yourself get sucked in by Kate Hudson and the creepy atmosphere. There's always something disturbing to be found amongst the bayous of Louisiana where people practice witchcraft and magic and rituals of conjure and sacrifice. Don't believe me? Then just head on down to New Orleans sometime and observe the freakshow. I guarantee you'll double check the lock on your hotel door at night. I can understand how some people will find this a bit slow-paced, but I liked how the movie lays out the mystery at the start and then deliberately follows it to its simple, yet cleverly logical ending.
Yep, that's right; the twist at the end of the movie is fairly clever and works within the context of the entire film. It's not as break-neck as Saw's ending or as surprising as The Sixth Sense's, but it works and doesn't feel tacked on just for the sake of having a twist ending as has been the norm in H-wood these days (see Secret Window, Hide and Seek, and High Tension for examples of recent disappointing twist endings).
Keep in mind, this is a movie that you'll enjoy less the more you try to nitpick its implausibilities. For example, what is it about people in movies who knock on a person's door once and then decide they have a right to walk on in and look around? Since when is "the door was unlocked" ever an appropriate defense to those actions? Who does that in real life?
And would Kate really decide to investigate why a creepy old door in the attic is somehow being jostled? Is it really the wisest decision in the world to look into it by yourself? Of course not. But I suppose you'd only have a 15-minute movie without such contrivances so just deal with it and move on. Life's too short to really fret over something so trivial.
If you're looking for a seat-grabber moreso than a blood and guts horror film, then this just might satisfy. I have a joke that I could use about if Kate is looking for a seat-grabber then she can reach me via email, but everybody knows I'm too mature to make such comments, right? But Ms. Hudson does know how to wear some jeans. And I sure hope my mom's not reading.
THE GIST
If you're looking for a slasher movie with blood and kills then you'll likely be disappointed. The Skeleton Key isn't as scary or tense as I ideally would've preferred, but hey, it held my interest and did manage to creep me out a couple of times, so I won't complain too much. I was mainly concerned with the ending. I've heard so much hype about it that I was just waiting for it to let me down. But like I said, the twist is subtle and effective, if not mind-blowing. Definitely worth a matinee or a rental if you're a die-hard fan of Kate Hudson or the psychological horror genre.
Rating: 3.75 (out of 5)
Johnny Betts
The Movie Mark
http://www.themoviemark.com
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