Constantine Review
by Steve Rhodes (Steve DOT Rhodes AT InternetReviews DOT com)February 17th, 2005
CONSTANTINE
A film review by Steve Rhodes
Copyright 2005 Steve Rhodes
RATING (0 TO ****): **
CONSTANTINE, yet another movie based on a comic book, is slow, silly and stupid but tolerable when funny.
Looking like a burned out version of Neo, Keanu Reeves plays John Constantine, a guy who has had a taste of hell so he devotes his life to deporting half-breed devils, sending them back to burn in eternal damnation. When we first meet him, he is throwing himself, quite literally, into his work as a full-contact version of an exorcist.
Later, in a club, bathed in the glow of cheap red lighting that is a DMZ for half-breed devils and angels, a bizarre guy named Midnite (Djimon Hounsou) tries to do what the architect did in THE MATRIX by providing some explanation to the convoluted story. "Demons stay in hell, angels in heaven -- the great détente of the two superpowers," he summarizes.
Guess what? In this delicate balance, someone is cheating, and it isn't God.
The convoluted plot involves the "spear of destiny," a dangerous weapon that is something like the ring in THE LORD OF THE RINGS. Those who possess it can get into a whole mess of trouble.
Playing the Trinity part is Rachel Weisz as Angela Dodson, a detective who is troubled by her ability to see things that others can't, enabling her to kill a new bad guy every day. Once Neo and Trinity, oops, I mean Constantine and Angela, team up, they take on the demons who have decided to break the truce and start appearing on earth.
The movie is tedious except for the humorous bits. Typical of the comic moments is the time that Constantine, a chain smoker rapidly dying from lung cancer, decides to end the life of a spider. After covering it with a drinking glass, he blows smoke in the glass in order to kill the spider while remarking, "Welcome to my world."
CONSTANTINE runs way too long at 2:01. It is rated R for "violence and demonic images" and would be acceptable for teenagers.
The film opens nationwide in the United States on Friday, February 18, 2005. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and the Camera Cinemas.
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