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The Ones
Death Eater
 Gender: Male
Location: UK |
Spider-man 3 GF story
this is the way i would imagine spidey 3 to be here it goes.
(after main credits)
This story is like any other story. boy meets girl, boy looses girl, girl gets married, boy wins girl back but there are still some who hold a grudge against me, no matter what i do. no matter how hard i try, i cant give up living either of my lives but its the ones i love who will always be the ones who pay. my powers came with the responsibility to do whats best for mankind and to help the people of new york city. who am i. im spider-man
more coming soon
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Harry Potter and the Triwizard Cup Spider-man 3
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Jul 21st, 2004 04:49 PM |
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The Ones
Death Eater
Gender: Male
Location: UK |
spider-man swings through the misty air and lands ontop of a very tall building. he gets changed into civilain clothes. peter, then jumps down and swings into a window. he opens the door and comes out of the bath room he runs towards and rusty door hoping to get there intime. he bursts through and there he sees doc conners. "parker, i was begining to think you werent coming". "sorry doc" peter said "i came as quick as i could. your theories sound amazing". doc conners glares at him. "er i mean. as they always are" pete said quickly. "quite correct" conners replied. "what do you know about lizard DNA". "once broken off it can reconstruct missing apendages" pete said. "and??????" conners sternly said. "and i suppose if man could do that..." "your finaly getting it. what would someone like me give to regenerate an arm. an industrial accident takes it away, an injection of hyberation DNA brings it back. so i have made a formula to regrow my arm." conners dragged on. "AMAZING" peter whispered. pete watched as conners took the syringe and injected it into him sholder. within a few seconds it regrew his arm indentical to his other arm. "YES" peter and conners cheered at the same time. all silence stopped as peter heard a loud ringing sound. it was his spider-sense alerting him of danger. pete shoved conners with his new arm away from the window as a huge explosion erupted, with a defening sound, through the room destroying everything in its path. a black floating figure with glowing yellow eyes came in and landed on the destroyed floor. pete knew who it was. but it was impossible. no. not here. not now. The Green Goblin?!?!?!?!?!?!?!...
MORE COMING SOON
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Harry Potter and the Triwizard Cup Spider-man 3
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Jul 21st, 2004 05:09 PM |
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H. S. 6
Approaching the End
 Gender: Male
Location: Ministry of Magic |
you may want to spell an grammar check ur stories before you post...
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Jul 21st, 2004 09:26 PM |
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BlackC@
Confront the darkness
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
You should post in past tense and try and make it a story instead of saying just whats happening to Peter.
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Jul 22nd, 2004 05:03 AM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
 Gender: Male
Location: United States Account Restricted |
It moves a little to fast  one sentence doc connors has no arm the next he does.May want to expand it a little bit get inside the characters head.And I think Peter my have been a little more precausious of what Dr Connors was doing.
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Jul 22nd, 2004 05:12 AM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: United States Account Restricted |
Last time I checked he was skeptical about what Otto was doing too
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Jul 22nd, 2004 07:59 AM |
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BlackC@
Confront the darkness
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
I agree with Stormy Day, get into the characters head.
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Jul 22nd, 2004 09:02 AM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: United States Account Restricted |
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Jul 22nd, 2004 09:03 AM |
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The Ones
Death Eater
Gender: Male
Location: UK |
ok, from part 3 i will try and get into the characters head. part 3 will come tomorrow (last day of school today. i need to let of some steam)
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Harry Potter and the Triwizard Cup Spider-man 3
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Jul 22nd, 2004 01:18 PM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: United States Account Restricted |
And try writing about what peter would actually do and dont write the story so fast pace.
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Jul 22nd, 2004 06:44 PM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: United States Account Restricted |
It is.I really didnt like this part in particular
pete watched as conners took the syringe and injected it into him sholder. within a few seconds it regrew his arm indentical to his other arm. "YES" peter and conners cheered at the same time
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Jul 22nd, 2004 09:29 PM |
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BlackC@
Confront the darkness
Gender: Unspecified
Location: |
Try and make your words discriptive, that way the reader is eager to see more, try posting in past tense, so instead of saying 'peter swings around the corner' say 'peter swung around the corner.'
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Jul 23rd, 2004 04:36 AM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: United States Account Restricted |
His words where ok but his whole storys and the reactions from the characters where offbalance.
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Jul 23rd, 2004 05:47 AM |
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The Ones
Death Eater
Gender: Male
Location: UK |
hows this, any better?
It was a dank and dark night. The light from the moon shone deeply on the calmness streets of New York. Luckily the city has a protector, a man who calls him self spider-man. 4 years ago a genetically modified spider bit a young teenager called Peter Parker. This caused Peter to under-go a serious transformation. He gained the abilities a spider had. A car-jacker killed his Uncle Ben. After he caught the criminal. He swore to use his powers for the good of mankind. He has come across many foes. Muggers, thugs, and Super villains. The Green Goblin and Doc Ock were his toughest foes. But a bigger problem will soon unfold as his super hero powers are going to be put the test.
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Harry Potter and the Triwizard Cup Spider-man 3
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Jul 23rd, 2004 12:09 PM |
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Stormy Day
Restricted
Gender: Male
Location: United States Account Restricted |
Better,good opening 
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Days until new season of CSI:26
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Jul 23rd, 2004 07:21 PM |
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The Ones
Death Eater
Gender: Male
Location: UK |
Part 2. i think this bit is a little rubbish but i think its better than the 1st bits of the old one:
Peter swung around the corner in his brightly coloured tights. He jumped onto a balcony, opened the window and walked into his dilapidated apartment. He took of his mask and out of the corner of his eye he saw that he had a message on his answering machine and pressed play. “Parker, where are you” it was Doc Conners “Ive just made a tremendous discovery. Come by my lab if you get this before 9 o’ clock”. The recording ended. Peter looked at his watch. It was 9:20 AM. “Crap!” Peter yelled as he ran toward the edge of the balcony, grabbed his mask, jumped of the edge, put his mask on, shot out a webline and headed towards Conners lab as quickly as he could. When he got there, the place was trashed, destroyed and the wallpaper was burned. “ HA HA HA HA” he heard someone yell. A loud ringing noise cancelled out all silence in peters head. It was his spider-sense, alerting him of danger. Peter did a, very high, backward flip as an orange bomb flew toward he was 3 seconds ago. The bomb hit the back of the wall. A huge explosion roared through the building, pushing peter out the window due to the incredible force of the explosion. Luckily he was still in is spider-man costume so he shot out a webline and broke his fall. Peter shot out another webline to the opposite building. And did a sling-shop like jump into the air. Landed on a building. A green fist punched him from out of nowhere landing him to the edge of the building. A green monster jumped up and landed right next to him. Peter was shocked as he looked at the figure. He’d know that silhouette anywhere. But how? It can’t be happening
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Harry Potter and the Triwizard Cup Spider-man 3
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Jul 23rd, 2004 07:44 PM |
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