quote: (post)

Originally posted by LanceWindu
K.Diddy: That was Snowball.

Gornack: Why do you call him that?

K.Diddy: Vinny Valentine made it up. It's a blow job thing.

Gornack: What do you mean?

K.Diddy: After he gets a blow job, he likes to have the cum spit back into his mouth while kissing. It's called snowballing.

Gornack: He requested this?

K.Diddy: He gets off on it.

Gornack: Vinny can be talked into anything.

K.Diddy: Why do you say that?

Gornack: Like you said, he snowballed him.

K.Diddy: Vinny? No; I snowballed him.

Gornack: Yeah, right.

K.Diddy: I'm serious...

Gornack: You sucked that guy's dick?

K.Diddy: Yeah. How do you think I know he liked...

Gornack: But...but you said you only had sex with three guys! You
never mentioned him!

K.Diddy: That's because I never had sex with him!

Gornack: You sucked his dick!

K.Diddy: We went out a few times. We didn't have sex, but we fooled around.

Gornack: Oh my God! Why did you tell me you only slept with three guys?

K.Diddy: Because I did only sleep with three guys! That doesn't mean I didn't just go with people.

Gornack: Oh my God, I feel so nauseous...

K.Diddy: I'm sorry, Gornack. I thought you understood.

Gornack: I did understand! I understand that you slept with three different guys, and that's all you said.

K.Diddy: Please calm down.

Gornack: How many?

K.Diddy: Gornack...

Gornack: How many dicks have you sucked?!

K.Diddy: Let it go...

Gornack: HOW MANY?

K.Diddy: All right! Shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak like this when you told me how many guys you ****ed.

Gornack: This is different. This is important. How many?! Well...?

K.Diddy: Something like thirty-six.

Gornack: WHAT? SOMETHING LIKE THIRTY-SIX?

K.Diddy: Lower your voice!

Gornack: What the hell is that anyway, "something like thirty-six?" Does that include me?

K.Diddy: Um. Thirty-seven.

Gornack: I'M THIRTY-SEVEN?

K.Diddy: I'm going to KMC.

Gornack: Thirty-seven?! (to customer) My man-child sucked thirty-seven dicks!

Customer: In a row?

Gornack: Hey! Where are you going?!

K.Diddy: Hey listen, jerk! Until today you never even knew how many guys I'd slept with, because you never even asked. And then you act all nonchalant about ****ing twelve different girls. Well, I never had sex with twelve different guys!

Gornack: No, but you sucked enough dick!

K.Diddy: Yeah, I went down on a few guys...

Gornack: A few?

K.Diddy: ...And one of those guys was you! The last one, I might add, which-if you're too stupid to comprehend-means that I've been faithful to you since we met! All the other guys I went with before I met you, so, if you want to have a complex about it, go ahead! But don't look at me like I'm the forum whore, because you were plenty busy yourself, before you met me!

Gornack: Well...why did you have to suck their dicks? Why didn't you just sleep with them, like any decent person?!

K.Diddy: Because going down it's a big deal! I used to like a guy, we'd make out, and sooner or later I'd go down on him. But I only had sex with the guys I loved.

Gornack: I feel sick.

K.Diddy: I love you. Don't feel sick.

Gornack: Every time I kiss you now I'm going to taste thirty-six other guys.

K.Diddy: I'm going to KMC. Maybe later you'll be a bit more rational.

Gornack: Thirty-seven. I just can't...

K.Diddy: Goodbye, Gornack.

Gornack: Try not to suck any more dicks on your way through the internet!

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Dwight Shrute
You need some sleep

quote: (post)

Originally posted by LanceWindu
*quote before she edits*

quote: (post)

Originally posted by LanceWindu
LanceWindu: That's nothing compared to how my friend Maynard died.

Vinny: How'd he die?

LanceWindu: Broke his neck.

Vinny: That's embarrassing?

LanceWindu: He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick.

(Absolute silence. Then...)

Vinny: Shut the hell up.

LanceWindu: Bible truth.

Vinny: Stop it.

LanceWindu: I swear.

Vinny: Oh, my god.

LanceWindu: Come on. Haven't you ever tried to suck your own dick?

Vinny: No!

LanceWindu: Yeah sure. You're so repressed.

Vinny: Because I never tried to suck my own dick?

LanceWindu: No, because you won't admit to it. As if a guy's a ****ing pervert because he tries to go down on himself. You're as curious as the rest of us, pal. You've tried it.

Vinny: Who found him?

LanceWindu: Maynard? Lea found him. On his bed, doubled over himself with his legs on top. Dick in his mouth. Lea freaked out. It was a mess.

Vinny: His dick was in his mouth?

LanceWindu: Balls resting on his lips.

Vinny: He made it, huh?

LanceWindu: Yeah, but at what a price.

(Silence. Then...)

Vinny: I could never reach.

LanceWindu: Reach what?

Vinny: You know.

LanceWindu: What, your dick?

Vinny: Yeah. Like you said, you know. I guess everyone tries it, sooner or later.

LanceWindu: I never tried it.

(Vinny glares at LanceWindu. Silence. Then...)

LanceWindu: ****ing pervert.

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Dwight: I'm leaving. I'm out.

Lance: No, Dwight! You can't leave! We need you now, more than ever!

Dwight: Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us!

Lance: Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.

Dwight: No, they didn't!

Lance: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!

quote: (post)

Originally posted by Vinny Valentine
Dwight: I'm leaving. I'm out.

Lance: No, Dwight! You can't leave! We need you now, more than ever!

Dwight: Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us!

Lance: Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.

Dwight: No, they didn't!

Lance: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!

quote: (post)

Originally posted by DarkC
Mist: Man, you guys are so mean.

Lance: Who the hell are you? Vinny, do we know this guy?

Vinny: Nope.

Lance: Yeah, see? Look, strange dude, I don't know what we've done to offend you but I swear to God it's not anything illegal.

Mist: What the f*ck?

Vinny: Look at this guy, Ken. He has criminal written all over his head. Literally.

Mist: I do?

Vinny: Oh, yeah. Want a mirror?

Mist: That's not cool.

Lance: And you simply suck at the handwriting, Vinny. From here it looks like "Crumbling".

Mist: That's not cool.

Lance: You're stupid.

Mist: I said "not cool", not "stupid".

Lance: I'm aware of that, prick!

Vinny: Ken, be nice. The guy bought me a beer.

Lance: What the f*ck! When was this?

Vinny: Two nights ago. He got rather drunk. Maybe that's why he doesn't remember me.

Lance: You bastard.

Vinny: Hey, we didn't do anything vulgar or gay. I swear.

Lance: Bastard.

Vinny: Dude, ask him, he knows.

Lance: You just said he was too drunk to remember anything, f*cktard.

Vinny: Oh yeah.