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Jokes Men Won't Laugh At
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TimeRacer
Junior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Worried Jokes Men Won't Laugh At

I don't know why..but I decided to make a list of jokes Men Won't Laugh At (while looking at a book a friend bought me). So yeah...here are a couple:


Q: What do men and mascara have in common?
A: They both run at the first sign of any emotion.

Q: How do you hurt a man with words?
A: Slam a dictionary on his penis. (I'm a girl and that one hurts)

Men come in three sizes: Small, Medium, and GOD YES!!!

Son: Mommy, how do lions screw?
Mom: I don't know son. I've only screwed a pig.

A small boy was lost, so he went to a policeman.
"I've lost my dad!" he said.
"Well what does he like?" asked the officer.
The little boy replied: "Beer and women."

Q: How does a woman's G-spot differ from a golf ball?
A: A man will spend twenty minutes looking for a golf ball.

Q: Why are men like blenders?
A: Every woman has one and doesn't know why!

Husbands are like children. They're cute, as long as they belong to somebody else.

A woman tells her friend, "My husband bought me a mood ring the other day. When I'm in a really good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a really bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead."

Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.

A professor of mathematics left this letter on the kitchen counter:

Dear Wife,
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Hilton Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
Your husband.


When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,
You, too, are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Sheraton Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, don't wait up.
Your wife



OK, I'll stop now. Sorry, guys. I couldn't resist.


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:07 AM
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!

Gender: Male
Location: In my reality

im not laughing stick out tongue


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Crazy Christian all over your candy arse.

Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:08 AM
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube

Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA

Moderator

Son: Mommy, how do lions screw?
Mom: I don't know son. I've only screwed a pig.


that one was funny. The rest aren't


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:09 AM
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TimeRacer
Junior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

Well I said men wouldn't laugh at them, didn't I?


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..so..umm..yeah. I'm here.

Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:09 AM
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NTonks
Crash's Wife

Gender: Female
Location: Southern California

laughing out loud


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:10 AM
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube

Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA

Moderator

well its debatable that most people, regardless of gender, wont laugh at them because they are just bad, generic jokes. Many of which i have heard before.


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:10 AM
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Maximus_E.
Insane An' Enjoyin' It

Gender: Male
Location:

That one 'bout the dictionary was evil!!


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:12 AM
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Pablo G
Coolest Beaner Around

Gender: Male
Location: Hermosillo, Mexico

The Four functions of women:

1. Add expenses.

2. Substract happiness.

3. Multiply trouble.


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:13 AM
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!

Gender: Male
Location: In my reality

now that one was funny pablo


__________________


Made by the awesome transforming Hegemon
Don't mess with The Force, because I ownz you. -The Force

Crazy Christian all over your candy arse.

Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:14 AM
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CandyKoRn
In Orlando Blooms Pant's

Gender: Female
Location: United Kingdom

Sexist jokes.....
funny...


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:14 AM
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113
Eat My Ass

Gender: Male
Location: Brooklyn, NY

hahhhaa


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:14 AM
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Dr. Leg Kick
Aesculapius

Gender: Male
Location: Los Angeles

lol


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:15 AM
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TimeRacer
Junior Member

Gender: Female
Location: Ohio

I don't think I ever claimed they were funny, either. Oh well. I was just really bored.


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:15 AM
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!

Gender: Male
Location: In my reality

actually the jokes were kinda funny laughing


__________________


Made by the awesome transforming Hegemon
Don't mess with The Force, because I ownz you. -The Force

Crazy Christian all over your candy arse.

Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:16 AM
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Pablo G
Coolest Beaner Around

Gender: Male
Location: Hermosillo, Mexico

Why are women like geography?

When their age is between 0 and 15 they are like the Revillagigedo islands, virgins and unexplored.

From 16 to 25 they're like Africa, half explored and very wild.

From 26 to 35 they are like Europe, already toured and half-destroyed.

From 36 to 55 they're like México, they receive anyone with open arms.

From 55 and so on they're like Oceany, everyone knows they exist but everyone hardly visits them.


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"You can get further with a kind word and a gun, than just a kind word" - Al Capone

Last edited by Pablo G on Oct 6th, 2003 at 02:25 AM

Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:17 AM
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CandyKoRn
In Orlando Blooms Pant's

Gender: Female
Location: United Kingdom

I'm Africa...fun... no expression


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Happy Dance Go Banana Go Banana! Go! Go! Happy Dance

Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:21 AM
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The Force
Holy Hypocrits!

Gender: Male
Location: In my reality

lol laughing out loud


__________________


Made by the awesome transforming Hegemon
Don't mess with The Force, because I ownz you. -The Force

Crazy Christian all over your candy arse.

Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:22 AM
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube

Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA

Moderator

haha, those were good pablo.


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:23 AM
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Pablo G
Coolest Beaner Around

Gender: Male
Location: Hermosillo, Mexico

Why dogs are like women:

1. They look ridicoulous wearing a hat.
2. They can eat 3 punds of chocolate in one setting.
3. They don't know shit about football.
4. They're excellent in pretending they listen to you.
5. They always want their backs scratched.
6. Neither can balance a check book.
7. You can never know in what they are thinking.

Why dogs are better:

1. Dogs don't cry.
2. They love it when your friends come over.
3. They don't care if you use their shampoo.
4. They don't expect you to call if you're going to be late at home.
5. The longer you take in arriving the better they receive you.
6. They don't mind if you play with other dogs.
7. They don't notice if you said another name when you call them
9. They don't care if you give away their puppies.
10. Everyone can get a cute dog.
11. If he's cool other dogs don't get jealous.
12. Dogs don't go shopping.
13. They love a dirty floor.
14. They never analize the relationship.
15. Their parents never come over.
16. They love long road trips.
17. They don't ask you if they're fat.
18. They never listen to boy bands.
19. They never criticize.
20. They don't expect presents.
21. Es legal to have them on a leash.
22. They don't care about your old relationships with other dogs.


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"You can get further with a kind word and a gun, than just a kind word" - Al Capone

Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:24 AM
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BackFire
Blood. It's nature's lube

Gender: Male
Location: Huntington Beach, CA

Moderator

laughing out loud "they love sex" HAHAHHA!!!


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Old Post Oct 6th, 2003 02:25 AM
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