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Tramps Lady
Blaine
 Gender: Female
Location: Jump Street Chapel |
I love these!
But, Terry didn't FALL down the well, i pushed him 
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<3 Tommy and Doug McQuaid <3
<3 21 JumpStreet <3
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May 15th, 2009 06:50 AM |
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Bwa Ha Ha
Senior Member
 Gender: Unspecified
Location: It was my destiny to be in the box! |
lol
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May 18th, 2009 09:18 PM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
We last left our heroes watching the filming of DMC, whereby Will got really cheesed off and punched Johnny Depp. Jack, afraid he'll lose his business deal with T&T, has started chasing after him.
(Jack and Katie run through Hollywood)
Katie: Can we stop and go in Grauman's Chinese Theater? (Jack can't really talk while running) Never mind. (continues to follow him)
(Will, Elizabeth, Junior, and Rosalie are walking along Beverly Hills, enjoying looking at the celebrities' houses)
Junior: Wow! The Osbourne house!
Elizabeth: Keep walking.
Rosalie: Osbourne.
Will and Elizabeth: SHE SAID HER FIRST WORD THAT WASN'T MAMA OR DADA!
Will: But...it's Osbourne.
Elizabeth: That's okay.
Will: But...the humping dogs, the potty mouths, the fat kids...
Elizabeth: We'll teach her Crazy Train and then everyone will just think it's cute. (kisses her) Good job, sweetie! (Will feels much better)
Jack: (gaining on them) YOU ARE A DEAD MAN, WILLIAM TURNER!
(Will's eyes widen to a cartoonish level and he runs)
Elizabeth: (to Katie) What happened now?
Katie: Who cares? Hey, I know Barbra Streisand. Want to meet her?
(Will runs crazy through the streets of LA as the Beverly Hills Cop music plays in the background. Jack is never far behind.)
Jack: You beat up my investment!
Will: You wrote about yourself kissing my wife! (turns his head back to say it and runs right into a couple on a bicycle built for two)
Jack: Well, it appears the bike did most of the dirty work for me. (takes out his sword) Hope you don't mind crossing blades with a pirate once more.
(Will jumps up and brings his own sword down upon Jack's)
CUT TO...Barbra Streisand's house
Barbra: I'm so environment-conscious! I fly around miles and miles in a private plane just for me to tell everyone to hang their laundry outside on a clothes line to save energy.
(Katie and Elizabeth look bored to tears)
Barbra: Who wants to hear me sing? Huh? Huh? (starts singing) Memories/light the corners of my mind/misty water-colored memories/of the way we were...
(Elizabeth has her hand on her sword)
Katie: (puts her hand on Elizabeth's) Not here, too much evidence. You'll be pulling an OJ Simpson.
Elizabeth: But her voice...sounds like a weasel!
Rosalie: Osbourne!
Katie: We need to distract her with something so we can sneak away. (to Barbra) It would really boost your self-righteous image if you put environment-related lyrics to that song, and some of your other signature hits.
Barbra: Great idea! What about for "Papa Can You Hear Me?" Ahem. Ozone, can you hear me?
(Elizabeth and Katie jump over the fence, Rosalie safely passed between them)
CUT TO...Will and Jack swordfighting
Will: You never win when we fight, Jack.
Jack: First time for everything.
(They parry in the streets and start to draw a crowd who applauds at their fancy choreography)
Jack: Why do you even care, anyway?
Will: I like to know how I'm portrayed on film!
Jack: Oy! You've been written in a manner that quite becomes you, savvy? Honestly, getting to be so you can't propose to a girl anymore.
(Will stops, frozen by what he has just said)
Will: You mean...
(Jack takes advantage of the opportune moment and slashes Will's pants down)
Jack: Does this mean I win finally?
(James and Sailor see them down the street. They are both wearing Mickey Mouse hats. Sailor has a little Donald Duck flag and a stuffed Tigger. James cuddles a stuffed Genie and has the latest Kingdom Hearts game in his hand)
Sailor: They're fighting again! We have to stop them.
James: Haven't you learned by now it's so much fun to watch? Pretend it's TV.
Will: You're going to propose to Katie? You think you need a ton of money to do it? You think you need to write a script that has Tia Dalma flirting with me, my father whipping me, and a kraken attacking me not once but twice?????
Jack: Keep your voice down, lad. You're attracting a scene.
Will: (losing it) What is wrong with you?
Jack: (puts arm around him and starts walking) William, it is not the question of money that has motivated me to finally succumb to Katie's desire to be my ball and chain. Rather, it is the atmosphere, savvy? (sees Will's clueless face) Sigh. I'm going to ask her at the premiere of the movie, though of course there won't be a movie if there is no star, savvy?
Will: So that's why you're mad at me for hitting Johnny Depp.
Jack: Give the boy a cookie.
Sailor: I have some! They're shaped like Disney characters! Jamiewigs and I have been to Disneyland all day! (hands them cookies and takes a picture of herself in between them and starts singing the Tin Man's song) I'd be friends with the sparrows/and the boy who shoots the arrows/if I only had a heart.
James: Where are Barbossa and Gibbs?
Gibbs: (comes out of a store in a pimp suit) I'm right here. (they all look at him) What? We're in Hollywood and I figure, might as well blend in with the scenery. (looks at Will and Jack) You two look like ya been fighting.
Sailor: Ooh! You can have a cookie, too.
(A phone suddenly goes off to the tune of Welcome to the Jungle)
Jack: (embarassed) It's mine...damn new-fangled cell phones. (answers) Captain Sparrow, Pirate Lord and Greatest Trickster of All Time.
Elizabeth: (on phone) Jack? I tried Will's phone but didn't get an answer.
Jack: (on phone) I wouldn't expect you to, love. It fails to get a signal when he's been fighting and subsequently losing.
Elizabeth: (on phone) We'll have to get him a new phone. You two need to get back to the set right away. Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck are in town and Katie and I have been trailing them. (gives phone to Katie)
Katie: (on phone) They look like they mean business, Jack! I've never seen them look so focused on something. I mean, I'm surprised Ben's head didn't explode writing Good Will Hunting.
Jack: (on phone) I thought you said that was because Matt Damon did all the work. Keep following them. Make sure they aren't up to something.
Katie: (on phone) You do know Elizabeth taught me how to handle a sword.
Jack: (on phone) As fun as that image is to visualize, you may very well have to use it today. (hangs up) To the set!
What do Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett have planned? How did they survive the incident at the Indy 500 and a plethora of bad films in between? Tune in next time!
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May 19th, 2009 06:23 AM |
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potcfan2003
Senior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: In my own little world... MY world. |
Haha! Omg I just read the parts I missed out on, and was cracking up from them! Now I can't wait to find out what happens next...
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Yes I'm obsessed... You say it like it's a bad thing...
 thank you to Mrs.Fish for the siggy!!
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Aug 20th, 2009 08:49 PM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
Sigh, I don't know how they jumped from Disney World, which is in Florida to Hollywood. Does it add to the comedy if I make them right next door to each other?
(Elizabeth and Katie are trailing Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett. Rosalie is in a Snuggly attached to Elizabeth. Junior is next to her. Both women have their hair down, sunglasses on, and some very trendy, sexy outfits)
Elizabeth: We're really blending in now and no one will recognize you!
Katie: I know. I had a feeling Ben and Josh would be back, though, so I've been preparing for it.
Elizabeth: How do you mean, besides the sword fighting practices?
Katie: I've been telling the fashion magazines swords are in, so lots of young women our age are now wearing swords on their hips.
Elizabeth: Sh! They're backtracking! (They hide in an alley as Josh and Ben go by)
Ben: The biggest sequel ever and we didn't even get parts!
Josh: It was because we were in the hospital for the casting calls. I'm sure it's nothing personal.
Ben: But, but I could have played a pirate! (They walk off)
Katie: Um, did it just sound like they wanted to be in the movie?
Elizabeth: It did. Let's fight them! (takes out her sword)
Katie: Wait a minute. If that's all they want, don't you think it would be okay?
Elizabeth: Katie, these men kidnapped you! We all had to go all the way to Indiana to save you! I went into labor in Indiana! They're horrible people for doing that to us!
Katie: I'm just worried is all. I want Jack's movie to go well. He's been so antsy about it and I can't figure out why.
Elizabeth: (pats her) I have an idea...
CUT TO...the guys are returning to Florida with James and Sailor in tow)
Gibbs: ...so ye see, Sailor, that's why The Lion King is really a loosely based adaptation of Hamlet.
Sailor: Amazing!
James: Oh please. (crosses up to Jack) I had better not be portrayed as...
Jack: As a scruffy half-pint who bit off more than he could chew when he took my leverage? But it's such a true-to-life depiction. (they're coming back onto the set) All right. Now, I know it's difficult for everyone here, but just be cool and don't touch me script. Ted and Terry and Gore and Jerry are all just some Disney-hired idiots so we have to make them believe this is going to be the sequel to end all sequels. (much louder when he sees T&T approaching) Ted! Terry! I didn't know you were there.
(Ted walks right up and slaps him)
Jack: Not sure I deserved that.
Ted: What were you thinking allowing Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett onto the set? They're box office poison!
(Jack is obviously very confused)
Barbossa: Not those two again! Why is everyone so hard to kill except me?
Jack: Ah, Terry! He'll straighten this out.
(Terry slaps him)
Jack: I may have deserved that.
Terry: How could you, Jack? We trusted you knew what you were doing?
Jack: (yelling at him as Terry walks off) I do! Oh, bloody hell, what's going on? (sees Ben and Josh on the deck of the Pearl) Oy! Get off that deck at once!
Katie: It's all right, Jack.
Jack: Why are they on the deck?
Katie: Elizabeth and I were following them and they were venting about not getting parts, not even as extras...
Jack: Why are they on the deck?
Katie: So to avoid any confrontations with them later, they have shock collars on under their costumes and I have the remote. They're also equipped with ankle bracelets that go off if they try to leave the set, so we'll know if they're coming after us.
Jack: But why are they on the deck?
Katie: Think of it this way, Jack. EVERYONE hates Ben Affleck. They'll have extra fun trying to spot him in such a tiny role. Haven't you seen Smokin' Aces? (Jack nods) The audiences loved it. Trust me. They won't take the Pearl, or anything or anyone else while they're here.
(They look up on deck)
Josh: (is at the helm) Look at me! I'm captain of a ship! Aar!
(Katie takes the remote and shocks him)
Ben: (laughs at Josh) You stupid tool! Don't you know Barbossa is the rightful captain of this ship?
Jack: (fuming) Give me that remote...
(Filming resumes)
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Aug 21st, 2009 05:12 AM |
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willofthewisp
Savvy did my sig
Gender: Female
Location: at the second star to the right |
Well, we all know Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck are not in DMC. So how did our heroes get rid of them?
CUT TO...one of DisneyWorld's lavish hotel rooms.
(Will is changing Rosalie's diaper. Elizabeth is in the shower.)
Junior: Dad?
Will: Yes, Junior?
Junior: (starts jumping up on the bed) If our enemies get to be extras in the movie, why can't I be?
Will: Well, er, it's, it's complicated. See...(finds some COTBP action figures) Let's pretend this action figure of me is Josh Hartnett and this action figure of your mom is Ben Affleck.
Junior: So they're gay?
Will: Yes...wait, no! No! That's not going to work. Hold on. (gets on the phone)
CUT TO...Jack and Katie's hotel room.
(They're relaxing on the bed channel surfing)
Katie: I know it's DisneyWorld, but why does every channel have to show a Disney movie? I'm going to forget what swear words are!
Jack: That's why you've got me. (glances at the TV) Don't leave it on this one. There's really nothing good about The Black Cauldron.
Katie: It doesn't matter. This has been a wonderful vacation with you. (snuggles him)
Jack: (clears throat) You know, Katie...I've been doing some thinking and there's something I've been meaning to ask you, and I was going to wait until the premiere but...(phone rings) Bugger. Hello?
Will on the phone: Jack? It's Will.
Jack: Of course it is. It's always you. What do you want?
Will: Can you tell Katie to fire Ben and Josh?
Jack: You want Katie to fire Ben and Josh? (Katie gives him a confused look) May I ask why?
Will: Well, it all comes down to principle, Jack. Junior wants to be an extra now and we can't all be extras, so why should her own kidnappers get something we aren't allowed to?
Katie: What's he saying?
Jack: Hold on. (repeats everything to Katie) Oh, and he also said you're fat.
Will: Jack!
Katie: (grabs phone) Listen, you! I work very hard to keep my body in excellent shape! I support a healthy lifestyle and if you're going to rain on my parade you can just take all that negative energy and shove it up your...
Will: Just fire Ben and Josh for me, please.
Katie: Oh. (to Jack) You liar! (whacks him with a pillow and giggles) Sure, Will. (puts phone down and cuddles back up with Jack) Jack, do you think my movies are bad?
Jack: Just Pearl Harbor. (she lays her head in his lap and he strokes her hair) But that wasn't your fault. It was those two morons. You really should fire them.
Katie: (yawns) I'll do it in the morning. They said they were going out to Pleasure Island to celebrate their comebacks, so it will be more fun to crush them afterwards.
(Jack grins and then clears his throat again)
Jack: As I was saying...(Katie's fallen asleep) Bugger.
CUT TO...the DMC wrap party
(Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett are still all sour grapes about being fired and have left to go to MGM Studios for the day. The rest of the cast is enjoying EPCOT's Mexico.)
Sailor: Oh! This has been so great! We're staying for the fireworks, right, Jamiewigs? Please oh please oh please?
James: How can I say no to you? (they start making out. Little kids keep eyeing them)
Elizabeth: (folds arms and taps foot) Not to be a prude, but this IS DisneyWorld and if I'm going to pay 20 bucks for my entree anyway, I'd like to keep my appetite.
(They break apart and Sailor tussles James' hair. They walk over to EPCOT Germany to the huge German buffet, which, let me tell you, has some of the best German food I've ever had)
Gibbs: (claps hands) Well! This does look like a feast. (goes and gets plate)
(Everyone piles up their plates and moves to a large table)
Jack: Waitress! Drinks all around. In big cups...(Barbossa sits down)...big cups to match his big hat.
Barbossa: (sarcastically) Oh ha ha ha ha.
Katie: So, I'll be the one to make the valiant effort at civilized conversation right now. Barbossa, did you like how the script had you enter the movie at the very end and leave it at a cliffhanger?
Barbossa: A what? (grabs his sword and sticks it in the table) It's an insult to be accusin' pirates of hanging from cliffs, missy!
Will: Uh, Barbossa, this place is owned by Disney. We're probably going to have to pay for that slit you just put into the table...
Barbossa: (stands on table now, his voice drowning out the band) I'm a pirate lord, the one who released Calypso and sailed the Black Pearl through a maelstrom! And here you are, Miss Hollywood, comparing me to some little mountain climber that hangs from cliffs! I bet ye think I yodel too.
Katie: Did you smoke some pot before we got here or what?
Jack: He's always like this.
Elizabeth: Yes.
Junior: But it makes him fun at show and tell!
James: Show and tell?
Junior: We bring things from home that are special to us and explain them to our class. I brought Uncle Barbossa once.
Jack: Why was I never brought?
James: Show and tell... (strokes chin)
Man in Lederhosen: Excuse me. Vee heard you said you yodel? Vould you be so kind az to join uz on zee stage?
Barbossa: I said I don't...
Elizabeth: He'd be delighted.
Barbossa: But I...
Elizabeth: (points to herself) King! King says you go up on stage.
Will: That still doesn't fix how we're going to get out of paying for the slit he put into the table. Wait a second... (as the waitress walks by, he takes his glass of water and flings it at himself) Oh no! The waitress accidentally spilled water on my shirt! Don't fire her, just let us eat for free and there won't be any trouble!
(No one listens because Barbossa is now on stage with several dancers who start doing a German dance. The band is in full swing, playing a polka. Barbossa half-ass dances, humiliated)
Jack: (claps) Woo hoo! That's how it's done! Barbossa, ladies and gentleman! Benevolent pirate of Bavaria!
(Audience applauds and cheers for him as he sits back down, blushing)
Elizabeth: Now admit it. That was fun.
Barbossa: I hate you.
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Last edited by willofthewisp on Aug 21st, 2009 at 04:50 PM
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Aug 21st, 2009 04:44 PM |
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LEWZMP
Senior Member
 Gender: Female
Location: In the Barbie world |
luzurs
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Who left the pancakes in the desert?
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Oct 1st, 2009 08:03 AM |
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Jaeh
Possibly here.
 Gender: Female
Location: May or may not be somewhere else. |
*puts LEWZMP on ignore*
awww, I missed this thread!
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HIS force be with you.
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Oct 1st, 2009 02:27 PM |
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Bwa Ha Ha
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: It was my destiny to be in the box! |
LOL
Who wouldn't put her on ignore?
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Oct 2nd, 2009 01:08 AM |
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Jaeh
Possibly here.
Gender: Female
Location: May or may not be somewhere else. |
I dunno.. insane people, maybe 
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HIS force be with you.
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Oct 2nd, 2009 02:54 AM |
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Bwa Ha Ha
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: It was my destiny to be in the box! |
*gasps* I'm offended!
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Oct 2nd, 2009 03:09 AM |
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Jaeh
Possibly here.
Gender: Female
Location: May or may not be somewhere else. |
yeah, I know.. I'm insane too. 
sane people? uhhh... xD
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HIS force be with you.
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Oct 2nd, 2009 03:17 AM |
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Bwa Ha Ha
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: It was my destiny to be in the box! |
I guess....
XD BEWARE THE SANE PEOPLE!
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Oct 2nd, 2009 03:23 AM |
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Jaeh
Possibly here.
Gender: Female
Location: May or may not be somewhere else. |
*plays Thriller on stereo* RUN! IT'S THE ZOMBIES SANE PEOPLE!
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HIS force be with you.
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Oct 2nd, 2009 03:30 AM |
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Bwa Ha Ha
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: It was my destiny to be in the box! |
*goes RE4 on them*
Do you have a zombie plan?
 Attachment: leon.gif
This has been downloaded 24 time(s).
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Oct 2nd, 2009 03:34 AM |
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Jaeh
Possibly here.
Gender: Female
Location: May or may not be somewhere else. |
Shoot to kill! *grabs lightsaber and swings*
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HIS force be with you.
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Oct 2nd, 2009 03:36 AM |
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Bwa Ha Ha
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: It was my destiny to be in the box! |
Aim for their heads!
 Attachment: leon lurking.png
This has been downloaded 23 time(s).
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Oct 2nd, 2009 03:40 AM |
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Jaeh
Possibly here.
Gender: Female
Location: May or may not be somewhere else. |
They're coming! TAKE COVER!
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HIS force be with you.
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Oct 2nd, 2009 03:47 AM |
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Bwa Ha Ha
Senior Member
Gender: Unspecified
Location: It was my destiny to be in the box! |
*pulls out shotgun*
(please log in to view the image)
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Oct 2nd, 2009 04:00 AM |
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Jaeh
Possibly here.
Gender: Female
Location: May or may not be somewhere else. |
*pulls out Harry* DUDE! QUICK! Do those spell things you do!
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HIS force be with you.
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Oct 2nd, 2009 05:06 AM |
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