The Mexican Review
by "Rose 'Bams' Cooper" (bams AT 3blackchicks DOT com)March 5th, 2001
'3BlackChicks Review...'
THE MEXICAN (2001)
Rated R; running time 126 minutes
Genre: Action Comedy
Seen at: Jack Lokes' Celebration Cinema (Lansing, Michigan) Official site: http://themexican.cannery.com/
IMDB site: http://us.imdb.com/Details?0236493
Written by: J.H. Wyman
Directed by: Gore Verbinski
Cast: Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, James Gandolfini, J.K. Simmons, Bob Balaban, David Krumholtz, Sherman Augustus, Gene Hackman, Luis Felipe Tovar (Luis)
Review Copyright Rose Cooper, 2001
Review URL: http://www.3blackchicks.com/bamsthemexican.html
I have to thank Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt. As busy as I was these past two days, I thought I'd go the whole weekend without getting my nap on.
The Story (WARNING: **spoilers contained below**):
Samantha Barze (Julia Roberts) and Jerry Welbach (Brad Pitt) have Relationship Issues. As the poster child for everything that's wrong with Whiny White Chicks with too much time on their hands [and before you other Whiny White Chicks get your Dander up, I have no love for your Black Balls-busting Sisters, either], Sam just isn't Having It when Jerry chooses life - his own, threatened by a few Shady Characters - over shuffling off to Las Vegas with Sam. Jerry can't quite get Sam to understand that if he doesn't go to Mexico to bring back Beck (David Krumholtz) and an infamous gun called "The Mexican" for a certain Mr. Margolies (Gene Hackman) on the orders of Margolies' ace, Bernie (Bob Balaban), Bernie and Jerry's friend Ted (J.K. Simmons) may see to it that Bad Stuff happens to Jerry.
Jerry goes shuffling off to Mexico, and Sam heads to Vegas, where she is taken hostage by Hit Man With A Heart (And A Secret), Leroy (James Gandolfini). Sam and Leroy develop a rapport, and help each other with Affairs Of The Heart.
Everything else you see in the 2+ hours of this flick, is just padding. *Dull* padding, at that.
The Upshot:
I make no bones about my general distaste for Julia Roberts and my lack of respect for her "acting" abilities. Way I see it, she can't act her way out of a Dixie Cup. That she makes upwards of $20mil for this astonishing lack, is just the way the gizzard fries, I reckon; there are Stars, and there are Actors, and in *this* country, we pay mucho dinero to see Stars. I tried to be fair, though, and left my Can't-Stand-Julia-Roberts emotional baggage at the ticket counter, so I could watch THE MEXICAN free of any pre-conceived notions about Roberts, or her partner in unbalanced talent-to-payment ratio, Brad Pitt.
And I gotta admit, I came away hating the two of them only half as much as I hated director Gore Verbinski for overindulging his "Yippie! I'm directing Roberts and Pitt!" whims, and especially editor Craig Wood, for not having the nads to whittle THE MEXICAN down to the, oh, say, 60 minutes worth of movie that it actually was. And even *that* might be overstating its value a wee bit. I swear, by the time it got to what felt like the fifth act, I was hoping a fire would break out in the theater, just to get it over with.
The Action was missing right along with the Comedy, the flashbacks were uninspired, the "quick cuts" only showed how much better Pitt's last movie, SNATCH, was by comparison, and worst of all, the Star-Power Chemistry between Pitt and Roberts was completely non-existent. THE MEXICAN is an example of what happens when you take a cute couple of ideas [yes, it was Cute the way Jerry and Sam argued in Enabling-speak. The first few dozen times. After that, I was looking for a small child to smack around to relieve my irritation. And yes, for the humor-impaired, that was Sarcasm] and fail to support it with believable acting, writing, directing, or editing. The sin of it all is, this movie will probably do boffo box office, leading to copycat movies popping up throughout the year.
It's almost enough to make one hope that the threatened actor's strike, happens after all.
The "Black Factor" [ObDisclaimer: We Are Not A Monolith]:
In the scheme of things, it's A Little Thing, I suppose; in a movie as dumb as "Mexican", I guess I'm Reaching to ask for some sense to be made here. And heck, I don't even care that he was The Obligatory Black Thug; there *are* Bad Black Folk out there, after all. But c'mon now: Sherman Augustus, the Black hitter, being given a screen credit as "Well-Dressed Black Man"? WTF? I mean, WTFF???
Bammer's Bottom Line:
Tracey And Hepburn can rest easy; Roberts And Pitt didn't come close. Hell, they didn't even approach Abbott And Costello. Rowan And Martin, even. If ever there was a movie in dire need of an unstarstruck director and editor, THE MEXICAN fits the bill. Dag...is it Movie Season yet?
THE MEXICAN (rating: yellowlight):
Gotta admit, though, Leroy's "I'm just here to regulate funkiness" was the best movie line I've heard all year. Pretty fly, for a White guy.
Rose "Bams" Cooper
Webchick and Editor,
3BlackChicks Review
Movie Reviews With Flava!
Copyright Rose Cooper, 2001
EMAIL: [email protected]
http://www.3blackchicks.com/
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