Ocean's Twelve Review
by Ryan Ellis (flickershows AT hotmail DOT com)December 20th, 2004
Ocean's Twelve
reviewed by Ryan Ellis
December 18, 2004
My Tagline---Listen up, turkey, the cast had fun. FUNNNN!
In case you missed it, the cast of 'Ocean's Twelve' had a good time. They had lots & lots & lots of fun. In fact, they've spent so much interview time insisting on their merriment, I'm wondering if they actually hate each other's guts. Truth is, they're using reverse psychology to convince the world that their lives were deliriously peachy while making this lark, right? Maybe their contracts state that no matter the actual experience of making this sequel, they're obliged to slobber all over each other in public. Give 'em all bonuses then.
I don't begrudge the gang their jollies, you see. There's only so much aggressive good cheer I can take, though. If Entertainment Weekly wants to resort to starfucking in their magazine, that's their perogative. I'd rather concentrate on the movie itself, with its huge cast of likable and talented performers. If it stinks, then Warner Brothers spent over $100 million to let rich people cavort in Europe and goof off in front of the camera. Since the flick took in 40 mill in the first weekend, it's a hit. So should you see it?
Well, I should see it before saying another word. Hang on.
A FEW DAYS LATER
Here's the scoop---the ads don't do the movie justice, but it still isn't very good. Out of context, the clips shown in the trailer seem like self-congratulating outtakes. In context, they make a little more sense. 'Ocean's Twelve' can be a cure for the blues, especially if you don't mind zing-free entertainment. While 'Ocean's Eleven' had that Sinatra cool thing going for it, this sequel gets the band back together and doesn't know what the hell to do with them.
In the 2001 charmer, charismatic Danny Ocean (George Clooney) assembled a team of 10 crack thieves to rob millions of dollars from Vegas casino tightass, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia). They got away with it---also winning back Mrs. Ocean (Julia Roberts) in the process---and then scattered, spending their money while trying to keep out of Benedict's vengeful reach.
Garcia glowers his way through the opening scenes of this new flick by tracking them all down, demanding his money back plus interest. The gang decides to steal their way out of hock, travelling to ritzy locales all throughout Europe. Meanwhile, a Europol agent (Catherine Zeta-Jones) is trying to nab them AND a fellow crook (Vincent Cassel), who keeps one-upping Danny's boys.
That's enough to get you started. There are enough twists and about-faces and odd in-jokes to fill 2 sequels. Yet somehow, the whole production is as shapeless as Diet Sprite. Then again, audiences have loved movies that weren't even as good as sugar-free pop. So if all you want is an exotic fashion show on its way to nowhere special, buy your ticket today and have at it.
These actors (and much of the crew) have worked together so often for director Steven Soderbergh, they seem like their own repertory company. They have a shorthand, just as their characters do. Even CZJ, playing an outsider and acting like one, has shared screen time with Clooney and Roberts before. Perhaps they're all too comfortable. Where's the urgency? Sure, Benedict will have them killed if they don't pay up. And maybe that's what's missing...Garcia. The man who was so villainous in the first flick has virtually nothing to do this time. For that matter, most of the Twelve are superfluous too. You could cut out Eddie Jemison, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan, and even Bernie Mac, Carl Reiner, and Elliot Gould without sabotaging the story.
Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, and Shaobo Qin comprise the rest of the team. Damon's con-in-training still seems pretty glum, even when he's taken control of the scams. Cheadle and Qin played specialists with limited screen time in '01. They seem more vital on this mission. What can be said about Pitt except this---they should have named both of these films for HIS character. Clooney only makes a glorified cameo in his own movie anyway.
Pitt's Rusty Ryan has always been the real leader of this talented rabble. And Rusty's romantic past with CZJ's cop gives the movie most of the life it DOES have.
Half the pleasure of heist movies is being in on the scam, yet still being surprised by how they're managing to pull it off. Writer George Nolfi doesn't have the opportunity to concoct a superb/absurd robbery like Ted Griffin did in the first installment. 'Ocean's Twelve' uses any sort of thievery as a bait 'n' switch tactic, literally and figuratively. So what we have is a meta-celebrity sequence in the climactic---and underwhelming---jewel heist. It's sort of clever. It's a little bit funny.
It's also foolishly unbelievable.
But it's not like the movie will make your popcorn go stale or anything. You're bound to LOL during the first half hour, particularly during Topher Grace's cameo as himself (older, more bedraggled, and funnier than he was 3 years ago). I loved David Holmes' music. Everybody looks sharp and even this unnecessary reprise of these charming characters will at least give your eyeballs some pleasure. It's competently made, with Soderbergh once again shooting much of the film himself (sharing cinematography duties with Chris Connier).
Clooney and company were so slick as Eleven, they even managed to make me feel cool. Maybe Twelve is just one too many. I was already forgetting the plot and most of the one-liners before sitting down to dinner that night. Braving the chilly walk home, I remembered the first 2 paragraphs of this review. I'm not as irritated as I was when those lines were written. If Ocean's cast wants to feel/spread/force the love, then feel/spread/force on. If only the movie was as much fun to watch as it was to make.
To tell me how much fun you had, write to [email protected] Sidle over to my website at http://groups.msn.com/TheMovieFiend
Originally posted in the rec.arts.movies.reviews newsgroup. Copyright belongs to original author unless otherwise stated. We take no responsibilities nor do we endorse the contents of this review.
