Hollywood Homicide Review
by Jerry Saravia (faust668 AT aol DOT com)June 30th, 2003
HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE (2003)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
June 27th, 2003
RATING: Zero stars
I thought buddy-buddy cop movies were on the outs. I mean, how many variations can there be on "48 HRS." and "Lethal Weapon"? How many more sequels do we need to such movies, particularly "Bad Boys" (and I do not mean the excellent Sean Penn flick). "Hollywood Homicide" is the latest in the generic, bland, colorless buddy-buddy cop movies, its only major distinction being that it stars Harrison Ford.
Ford plays homicide detective Joe Gavilan, who always orders a cheeseburger while investigating a crime scene. He also has another job as a realtor, though he hasn't sold any real estate in years. The latest teen heartthrob Josh Hartnett ("Pearl Harbor") plays Gavilan's partner, K.C. Kalden, whose other job is as a yoga instructor for young women he can score with. He also has aspirations to be an actor, and his latest role is playing Stanley Kowalsi in a stage version of "A Streetcar Named Desire." But back to the homicide investigation, which deals with the murder of two rap stars at a nightclub. The culprit may be a wealthy rap producer (Isaiah Washington) who wants his clients to stay with his record label - if they don't, they'll be killed. Yawn.
The plot of "Hollywood Homicide" is so run-of-the-mill that I am surprised Ford would agree to star in it, considering his reputation for picking projects carefully. As of late, he has starred in snoozers like "What Lies Beneath" and "Random Hearts" but at least those projects were more in line with Ford's willingness to expand his horizons. This film's plot and characters are so arbitrary that they could have been played by any group of actors. It doesn't help that we are bombarded with stock villains, stock shootings, stock plot, stock dialogue, stock everything. Ford elicits a wink and smile here and there but it seems forced, as if the audience was pleading for him to show the joy that was missing from his work lately. The Joe Gavilan character is laid-back and mimics his sexual prowess by banging against a window (a gag that was more inspired by way of Jason Mewes), but Ford mostly looks bored and listless. Hartnett is so uncharismatic and so devoid of personality that I do not even understand his teen heartthrob status. The two stars are about as inanimate and dull as the movie's formula is. Had the movie been about the aging producer (Martin Landau) who wants to sell his mansion for a firm offer to a nightclub owner, we would have had an original, exciting movie here. It is something that writer-director Ron Shelton ("Bull Durham") could have pulled off perfectly, but instead we are saddled with this extravagant waste of time and talent.
"Hollywood Homicide" may well be Harrison Ford's worst film in years. Now that he is pushing sixty, all I expected to hear was the old cliche, "I am getting too old for this sh--," and I would have been out the theatre in a heartbeat.
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