Jack Handley said:
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
Bob Swerski: Todd was kind enough to show up today even though earlier this week he had yet another heart attack.
Todd O'Connor: That's okay, Bob, this one's a speculation, I just gotta limit my pork intake to 400 grams a day.
Carl Molarski: That's tough.
Todd O'Connor: Yeah well the doc says I got a piece of Polish sausage lodged in the lining of my arc.
Randal Graves: Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?
Dante Hicks: "Empire".
Randal Graves: Blasphemy!
Dante Hicks: "Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets.