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Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place.

Like the back of a Volkswagen?

Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.

I feel like Hans Solo, your chewie, and she is Ben Kanobi and we're in that F*cked up bar.

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I ONE HOW MUC0 DO YOU HAVE

do they even HAVE social lives? I have never seen two grown men so obsessed with hanging out with their father, instead to trying to get dates or attempting to meet women.

do what youm want to do

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they are all on the keyboard of cheese fruit pecil head wheel chairs.

You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

Hello good people of Leonardo. I, like the mayor, was on my way to a costume, but incidentally, not the same costume party. I am able to remove my costume but I have decided to wear it as protection against the deadly virus. Are there any questions?

Oh, my god! Pharoah! I used to play this game all the time. They used to call me Sexy Randall the Pharoah Wizard.

Isnt it your B-day today Program smith...(that was a random comment....not a wierd one...they are two different thingd....pickle snow sticky tape fork)

Nothing can kill the Grimace. All right, we're done here.

Originally posted by Machete_guy
Isnt it your B-day today Program smith...(that was a random comment....not a wierd one...they are two different thingd....pickle snow sticky tape fork)

If you go to Tired Hikers pad, then to 'sunday sunday Sunday,' that will answer your questions.

JFK himself. When he was in office, he stood before the world and promised them a man on the moon within 10 years. Thing is nobody had started working on a space program at that point. JFK had no data to back up his claims, no inside into the practicality of space travel. But you know what he had?

No... 😮

All right! I'll go through with the deal. I'll let the German scientist hack my foot off.

What do you mean cut the blue wire? They are all blue wires?

See? You're what's wrong with this country, hell, with this world. You're always thinking about you're own comfort level, never thinking about the rest of us. This country was built on sacrifice and nearly thirty years of living a life full of selfish foot pampering and inter-gender intercourse has made you too soft to throw your hat over the wall for the good of mankind. And what's worse is; not only do you ruin it for the rest of us with the flying car, but you completely blow the notion of American nobility in the process. The children of the world have no heroic figure to emulate, so the future of mankind continues on it's downward spiral into entropy and mass extinction, until all that was once great about the human race lies buried in the primordial stew, to which we'll most certainly return, thanks to you and your refusal to reach for the stars. And you'll forever be remembered as the sad footnote in the book of life, the wimpy little scumbag who could have breached the chasm of becoming and being, but instead opted to cover his own ass and foot in the process.