i spent a few hours at the library today
talked with a friend from high school and made lunch plans with her
then another of my friends showed up and i think he was supposed to be doing school work on his notebook, but he was really not doing anything but making monkey noises and repeating my name which got loud and annoying cause we were in a library and i was trying to read
didnt say anything though but i think he caught on to my annoyance by the end
L.A.M. -
" I keep coming back to this dark place.
to this place of meaning for me.
I built these walls, I shut out the light.
this home is mine.
I asked for this burden.
I demanded these tests.
I wished for meaning.
I always thought there was a sense of beauty in the darkness.
a still, black, cold embrace.
If i could break myself down, could i rebuild?
my constant questions left unanswered by a world i despise.
It wasnt supposed to be like this, it wasnt supposed to go so wrong.
it consumed me, chaos held its ground.
a look in the mirror brings pain, sight into myself as a being so hideously wrecked by the mistakes of a guilted past.
this beauty i held to close to my heart, destroyed me.
ive damned myself to this state.
with all my dreams shattered.
with all my heroes gone.
what is there in this abyss?
my self.
my pain.
my life. "
not too bad i think.