He didnt know. How my Glycemic index would drop in a mad rage. How in those moments my body would begin to experience pain, yet the madness would be inside my blood vessels fighting for some glucose. How i had to carry cookies with me all the time. How food had become this new form of power struggle. Sure I looked dazed and confused because I was. I was a million miles away alone on an island where I was dying alone captive by my enemy myself. So, sure he would think that I was on drugs but the truth was, I had cut many toxic foods out of my life.
I was with a girl the other day walking and talking. She was tiny and I stood over her like a giant. I kept thinking about how cool it would be to actually be her friend. My relationship with females has always been a love hate kinda relationship; although I tried in my youth I failed in adulthood. She was no different. I remember meeting her for the first time, I found her positively stupid and vapid like most people, as if her emotional intelligence hadn't reached its peak. She talked I listened and as we walked I faded away into my own thoughts, would people think she was with me? After all she was walking beside me. Would I seem straight? And could I get away with her being more then just a friend. I don't know, all I kept thinking was about the cute boy who popped in front of me, he was tall. He stood strong and had a very stylish trim to the side of his hair. He saw me and made a look; I wasn't sure what he was thinking. As I walked with my girl at hand, he walked past us and as he walked in front he gave me a big smile. What was he smiling about? Could he tell I was gay? Could anyone? He had this grin as if he had heard this joke and I was the joke. We kept talking and conversing and I could see him peek back to look at me, this time it was obvious he was checking me out. One turn and walk forward, one turn and walk forward, stop looking back at me I kept thinking! You fool your making it obvious, but no he kept turning his head. As we got to our destination, we had stopped to cross the street. I could see him leave and continue on his path, apart of me wanted to walk past and ask him for his number but today wasn't going to be that day, today we were going shopping.
This week. The theme RUDE. People have been pushy, judgemental and convulsive. Example; I was sitting on the bus looking out at the street when a rude women tapped me on the shoulder, she snarled at me and shouted aren't you going to move? As if I was by some higher will of god I was supposed to all of a sudden give up my seat. A new group of people had just come in and suddenly below the women was an old elderly chinese women. She smiled at me and I asked her if she would like to sit down. I then got up and put my hand around so she could sit. As I stood up I stepped on the screaming lady's foot, and pushed her to get through the crowd. I thought it would be appropriate given the circumstances, it had been the theme of this week to return the rudeness back to people.