Be sure you've got all your science-books in the trunk of your car.
Kill any clown you see right away.
Never unfreeze any frozen carcasses.
Have your bladder blessed by a priest, that'll give a whole new meaning to golden shower for any vampire that crosses you.
A bow is more lethal than a mini-gun.
Don't go to school in Japan.
Always stick around malls.
Well, here's what I learned-
It's important to remember the words Klaatu barada nikto especially when it involves an evil army of the undead.
Never pick up hitchhikers. You're just asking for it if you do.
If a guy says that a man's best friend is his mother, leave the area immediately!
You can't reason with the villain, so it's useless to beg for your life.
Listen to that crazy guy who keeps warning you about the dangers that lie ahead. HE'S RIGHT!
Power tools make very effective weaponry.
Never...I repeat...NEVER get revenge on a child murderer by setting him on fire
If your kid's head starts spinning and he/she is speaking in a foreign language that he/she has never learned, call a priest.
Remember, the villain can defy the laws of physics and biology. Conventional ways of killing him/her/it might not always work.
If you hear kids singing/chanting eerily, then things are gonna go from bad to worse.
No matter how tiny or where it happens, if you get cut, you will bleed a lot.
The villain will usually find a way to come back...even if the explanation as to how or why isn't very clear.
You can fight off whole armies of the undead with just a cricket bat.
If it's dead, leave it alone.
Small children tend to be abnormally cute, innocent, or creepy...unless said child is possessed or Satan's child. Of course, then the creepiness factor still applies.
Even if the monster/killer is moving at the speed of a two-toed sloth, he/she/it will still managed to catch up to you.
For reasons unknown, birds will attack you at random and peck your eyes out.
Never stay at a hotel with a guy who's obsessed with his mother.