I've got great news, but unfortunately I have to give away one of my secrets to do so...
The radio program I listen to in the morning loves to slam Britney each and every morning, it seems, during their Hollywood Headlines segment. So that's why I have been dominating the breaking news Department as far as Britney's concerned recently.
Here's what they had this morning:
Top 7 reasons why it sucks to be Britney and K-Fed's kid:
7) Growing up around vile and crude language. And that's just from the music critics
6) Having your dad lose custody of you in a poker game
5) Finding cigarette butts in your sippee cup
4) Having no breast milk because K-Fed drank it all (ewww, I know, sorry!)
3) Getting your ass kicked at school because they think you're Vanilla Ice's kid
2) Getting your ass kicked at school because they think you're Vanilla Ice's kid, but then finding out you're really K-Fed's kid
1) Not getting your diaper changed because Britney thinks it's just K-Fed's smell
And I did that from memory!