I feel that I am dreaming...for lack of better comparsion of what this reality may be that we're living in. I find it very weird that my memories of my life only extend to when I was 13 (the year I started keeping a journal and have since then). In my writings I've always questioned everything, I mean everything.
This world, our species, the whys...they have never been answered for me. Something inside of me, has been nagging me, to continue to look for these answers. At times it takes over me and I ponder all day, trying to figure it all out. THen these matrix movies come out, and all my life's work in that respect have kinda gone from reality, to oh you have watched the matrix too much, which pisses me off b/c I've had this thorn in my mind well before these movies even came out.
I may not think we're living in a matrix, but I do not accept the fact that this is the truth of our reality. I can feel it to be false. I love my mind, I love the sub concious, studing it, I believe there is the key to our freedom.
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AS for actually dreaming, this is where I study my own subconcious mind, every since I was 13 I've been a very lucid dreamer, to the point, that in the dreams I am disecting the actual dream. For example, I remember a reaccuring dream where I was running from something and there was a fence, very tall, that had knee high grass behind it as far as my eyes could see.
In the dream I never did get over this fence before I would wake up, except this one time when I became lucid during this reaccuring phemoneon, and I remember me in the dream saying I wonder if there is a border or a boundary to my dreams, surely they can't go on forever.
So I got over the fence, and I started to run in the grass, field whatever, to see where it ended...sure enough as I approached an edge that had a shadowy abyss over it, I woke up. You talk about being freaked out. And this is only the icing on the cake of the dreams with the level of lucidity I possess. That's why I question our reality.
Yes it did, in the aspect that those who don't think on this level of questioning the why's of our existence and reality and just accept them, look at us that do as watching the movies too much. When in fact they are the ones mislead to only believe that in reality nothing like that could be possible, when in reality, quite anything is possible. We just may not know it be true, considering we don't even know where our species came from, how do we even know the truth about anything?
I think the key is to figure yourself out. How do we know who we really are. We need to find the part of us that is untainted by the world. Even when we think we are already tainted by the world. Internal dialogue is what I think is the key, or rather the door, to ourselves. If we can learn to shut everything out including our own thoughts then we will be able to see who we really are.