(Scene 1: Bag End, after Bilbo's party)
GANDALF: That Samwise-Sam! That Samwise-Sam! I do not like that Samwise-Sam!
FRODO: Would you like some bread and jam?
GANDALF: I do not want your bread and jam. I'm busy being mad at Sam. He likes to sneak. He likes to spy. I'll grind him up for hobbit pie!
FRODO: Oh, do not grind him up for pie! He is a pretty handy guy. He mows my grass. He paints my gate. He is my friend. We must not hate.
GANDALF: Well, then, I will not grind up Sam! Bring me bread, and bring me jam! We'll talk about another thing. Tell me, do you have the ring?
FRODO: I have the ring. I have it here. But, mercy me! Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I fear the ring is very bad, The golden ring that Bilbo had! Tell me, will you take the ring?
GANDALF: I will not take that evil thing!
FRODO: Would you, could you, by the fire? Would you, could you, in the Shire?
GANDALF: I would not, could not, by the fire. I would not, could not, in the Shire.
FRODO: Would you, could you, in a tree? Would you, on the road to Bree? Would you, with an orc or troll? Would you, in a hobbit-hole?
GANDALF: I would not, could not, in a tree. I would not, on the road to Bree. I would not, with an orc or troll. I would not, in a hobbit-hole. I will not take it here or there, I will not take it anywhere! For it is bad. It's as you say. You'll have to take that ring away And throw it in the Cracks of Doom!
FRODO: I'll need a friend. But who, or whom? (Gandalf produces Sam, who has been spying)
SAM: Oh, Master! Master! Sam is here! He'll wash me down with beer, I fear! I do not wish to be a pie!
GANDALF: I will not eat you, little spy! But I will send you far away. You both will go away today. You'll go to Bree. A man is there. The man looks foul. The man feels fair. He'll lead you both, if all goes well, To meet
the elves in Rivendell.
SAM: Oh, Master! We will meet the elves! We'll get to meet the elves ourselves And hear them sing their elven songs! We'll hear them bong their elven-gongs And strum their elven loola-lutes! They'll hoot their elven
hooty-toots!
GANDALF: I hope you'll hear those loola-lutes And hear the hoots of hooty-toots! But go with care. To be a pie Is better than to meet the Eye! The Eye is mean. The Eye is red. He rules nine Riders. They are dead.
They'll try to make you dead, as well. But will they catch you? Time will tell.
FRODO: Oh, dear! Oh, dear! This is a mess! We'll have to fix this mess, I guess. So we will go, just Sam and me. And what will happen? We will see!
(Scene 2: A Field, as Frodo and Sam begin the journey)
GANDALF: That little Ring! That little Ring! That Ring is such and evil thing! Now Frodo you must listen here, that Ring is truly bad, I fear. You must not put it on, I say! And now, farewell! I must away!
FRODO: Oh no what ever will I do?
SAM: Don't worry, sir, I'm here for you! I'll make you meals. I'll cook you food. I'll stand by you until we're screwed!
FRODO: Oh it's not that, it's just, you see, my back is truly killing me, for all this luggage wears me out, I cannot hardly walk about!
(Then Pip and Merry run them down and now they sit there on the ground)
FRODO: That did not help my back at all
PIPPIN: We did not mean to cause the fall
MERRY: But we must run, we're being chased-
PIPPIN: and right through Farmer Maggot's place!
MERRY: So tell me, will you hold these crops?
SAM: I will not hold your stolen crops!
PIPPIN: Would you could you in a field? Would you could you for a meal?
SAM: I would not could not in a field! I would not could not for a meal!
MERRY: Would you could you through the boggs? Would you could you chased by dogs? Would you on a hobbit trail? Would you for a pint of ale?
SAM: I would not could not through the boggs, I would not could not chased by dogs! I would not on a hobbit trail, not even for a pint of ale! I will not hold them here or there I will not hold them anywhere!
FRODO: Well never mind for we must flee! Now Quick! let's hide behind that tree!
NAZGUL: What's this smell, under that tree. It smells like hobbit, could it be? They could be hiding from my sight. I'll go and look. I think I'm right! But then again if nothing's there - I truly have no time to spare, for I must find that magic ring. Now tell me, have you seen that thing? I looked down low, I looked up high, I'm sure I'll find it by and by. But Sauron, mister "gimmy-now" will not be happy till it's found....
(Exit Nazgul)
SAM: Oh frodo, who or what was that? That hooded rider dressed in black? I could not see his eyes or face. I think we'd better leave this place!
MERRY: Now, come on Frodo, on to Bree. I hear they've got some beer for free!
PIPPIN: Oh Merry! We will taste the food! And maybe have a pint or two! And hear the big folks' tavern songs. We'll hear them bong their tavern-gongs And strum their big folk loola-lutes! They'll hoot their big folk hooty-toots!
FRODO: I hope we'll hear those loola-lutes And hear the hoots of hooty-toots! But we must
not let people know of who we are or what we know. So be aware of what you say and do not mention names, okay?
PIPPIN: No problem here! I'm good at that, You're secret's safe with me, no sweat!
FRODO: So off we go, the four of us and things will happen as they must!
(to be continued)
lol yeah it was dr suess
middle earth chat part two
*Frodo logs onto MiddleEarthChat(MEC)*
Frodo: Do de do de do
Frodo: Is anyone here?
*Harry logs onto MEC*
Harry: Hey Ron do you know where Hermoine is I need help with my magic homework.
Frodo: Ron? Hermoine? Hermoine...quite strange..
Harry: Who are you?
Frodo: Well, duh my names' Frodo. You can see it when I'm typing. See, I know your name's Harry. Because I can see it
on the side. HA!
Harry: So Ron and Hermoine aren't here?
Frodo: Does it look like it?
Harry: No
Frodo: Good
*Ron logs onto MEC*
Ron: Hey Harry
Frodo: Arghh! What is up with this? Why isn't anybody from Middle Earth on?
Harry&Ron: Middle Earth?
Frodo: I give up!
*Frodo logs out of MEC*
*Sam logs onto MEC*
Sam: Mister Frodo?
Ron: He just left
Sam: Who are you?
Ron: Ron
*Sam is busy calling Frodo*
Harry: Uh....
*Ron logs out of MEC*
*Harry logs out of MEC*
*Merry signs into MEC*
Merry: do de do... is Pippin on yet.....?
*Pippin logs onto MEC*
Merry: Yo Pippin waz happinin'?
Pippin: Eatin...and drinkin. Oh! Pints!
*Pippin is busy drinking pints*
*Sam logs onto MEC*
Merry: Hey Sam
Sam: Hi Merry, I'm tryin to get Mister Frodo to come back on.
*Frodo logs onto MEC*
Sam: MISTER FRODO!
Frodo: Ok.. enough with the Mister Frodos', it's creepin me out.
Merry: Sam's creepin Frodo out- YES!
*Legolas logs onto MEC*
Frodo: Hiyas Legolas! Waz up?
Legolas: Doing my nails.. oh, no! I mean I just got done practicin my bow and arrow...
Frodo&Sam&Merry: Right.....
*Pippin logs onto MEC*
Merry: hi
Pippin(sadly): No more pints....
Legolas: Hmm... my hair seems to be just the right shade of blond.. What? Did I say that out loud?
*Every body cept Legolas starts crackin up*
Legolas: Hey, that's not very nice. Mister Frodo
Frodo: Hey!
Pippin: Hey Merry, lets go over to Farmer Maggot's farm, he's got carrots
Merry: Oh! Carrots!
*Merry logs out of MEC*
*Pippin logs out of MEC*
Sam: Hey! Don't be diggin in Farmor Maggot's crops!
*Sam logs out of MEC*
Frodo: So Legolas....
Legolas: I'm listenin..
Frodo: Never mind.
Legolas: No really, what?
Frodo: So, what do you think of Arwen?
Legolas: Ar-Arwen?
*Aragorn logs onto MEC*
Aragorn: What about Arwen?
Frodo: Dude, you can hear the word 'Arwen', like, a mile away.
Aragorn: But your on the computer.
Frodo: Good point. Legolas we all know you like Arwen.
Legolas: Am I that obvious?
Frodo: Yeah
Aragorn: Hey man, Arwen is mine.
Legolas: I'm an elf. 😛
Aragorn: So? I have a sword. I use it to fight, not to look at my reflection.
Legolas: I'm older than you 😛
Aragorn: Your impossible
Frodo: You just figure that out?
Aragorn: Oh, hi Frodo, I didn't even know you were here, thanks to I'm-too-good-for-everyone
Legolas: Not for everyone
Aragorn: Fine. Everyone except for... for... I can't even say it
Frodo: ARWEN!
*Aragorn logs off MEC*
Legolas: Good job Frodo. You made him leave.
Frodo: I'm not in love with Arwen.
*Arwen logs onto MEC*
Arwen: Who's in love with me?
Frodo: You just like Aragorn
Arwen: 😄
Legolas: No.. that's not what he ment. Frodo keep your yap shut about what just happened.
Arwen: Tell me, Frodo. I saved your life.
Frodo: Well, first off, you can hear your name far away, a little slower than Aragorn, though. Second of all, you only
saved my life in the movie. In the book I save myself.
Arwen: Same thing
Legolas: Actually, no.
Arwen: FINE!
*Arwen logs off MEC*
Legolas: Oh, no! I made Arwen leave...
Frodo: Snap outta it. She'll be fine. She has Aragorn to show him 'manly moves'.
*Aragorn logs onto MEC*
Aragorn: What about me and my 'manly moves'?
Legolas: Oh.. nothin. We're just talkin bout how Arwen will miss your 'manly moves when I ask her out.*Legolas winks to
Frodo*
Aragorn: LEGOLAS I HAVE NEVER BEEN YOUR FRIEND I HAVE ALWAYS HATED YOU AND NOW I WILL REALLY KILL YOU!!
Frodo: chill, dude, he's just jokin.
*Aragorn logs off MEC*
Legolas: I think he's takin' this serisouly...uh-oh...
(I sent the part above to you before so this part under it is the part you haven't seen)
*Legolas logs off MEC*
Frodo: Ah ha ha ha, Aragorn....
*Sam logs onto MEC*
Sam: Hi Frodo
Frodo: Hi, want to go stop an angry Aragorn?
Sam: What?
Frodo: Nothing... never mind...
*Merry logs onto MEC*
Merry: Hey
Frodo: Hey... want to stop an angry Aragorn?
*Pippin logs onto MEC*
Pippin: Farmer Maggot's crops were great!
Merry: Aragorn is mad at Legolas again?
Frodo: Yup
Pippin: Really?! I want to watch!
Sam: What are you talking about??
Pippin: Aragorn is mad at Legolas for some reason having to do with Arwen.
*Arwen logs onto MEC*
Arwen: What about me?
Merry: Nothing....
Pippin: No, we were talking about
Merry: NOTHING
Frodo: Seen Aragorn lately?
*Sam logs off of MEC*
Arwen: No... why?
Merry: Have you seen Legolas?
Arwen: ....No.... what is going on?
Frodo: Nothing...
Arwen: Tell me!
Pippin: How about not...
*Aragorn logs onto MEC*
Aragorn: Arwen!
Arwen: Aragorn!
Pippin: Here we go again...
Frodo: What did you do to Legolas, Aragorn?
*Legolas logs onto MEC*
Legolas: He put mud in my hair... :'(
Aragorn: That should teach him, right?
Arwen: Yes, finally we all know who's prettier- Me!
Legolas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
*Legolas logs off of MEC*
Frodo: Oh, great, now their gonna have a fight on who's the prettiest.
Aragorn: I'm siding with Arwen.
Merry: What a surprise.
*Gimli logs onto MEC*
Gimli: Hi! What have I missed?
Frodo: Nothing.....
Gimli: I don't believe you..
Frodo: Of course you don't.
*Arwen logs off of MEC*
Aragorn: No! Arwen!
*Aragorn logs off of MEC*
Pippin: Merry, want to go mess some of Gandalf's things up?
*Gandalf logs onto MEC*
Merry: Sure!
Gandlaf: Fool of a Took!
*Pippin logs off of MEC*
*Merry logs off of MEC*
Gandalf: Get back here you Took! Brandybuck!
*Gandalf logs off of MEC*
Frodo: So whaz up Gimli?
Gimli: Whaz...up?
Frodo: Yeah, whats up?
Gimli: In, like, what's new?
Frodo: ...Yes...
Gimli: Oh, I haven't been mining in so long I really want to go mining want to go to The Mines Of Moria with me?
Frodo: Hey, Gimli, remember when the Fellowship was in The Mines Of Moria?
Gimli: Yes
Frodo: Don't you remember the big flaming thing that tried to KILL US?
Gimli: Well, now that you mention it, yes..
Fordo: And the Orcs, and hte Cave Troll?
Gimli: But didn't we defeat the Cave Troll?
Frodo: Yes.. but what if there's more?
Gimli... I'm scared.
Frodo: Good. I hope you learned your lesson about The Mines Of Moria. Oh and don't forget about hte Watcher of The Water right outside hte doors...
Gimli: Stop!
*Gimli logs off of MEC*
Frodo: I'm alone... once again...
*Ron logs onto MEC*
Ron: Hiyah, Harry!
Frodo: Ok, I can't stand this anymore!!
*Frodo logs of of MEC*
Ron: Harry? Hermoine?
Ron: Dumbledore?
Ron: Fine
*Ron logs off of MEC*