LotR spoofs, very funny

Legolas: *laughs uncontrollably*

Aragorn: *stares in horror*

//"'Do you really like it? I had to beg Arwen to do it for me,' commented Aragorn.

'You think she would do something for my hair?" Legolas asked.

'She's not here right now. Want me to do it for you?'

'Sure that would be great!'"\\

Aragorn: As if I would ever touch that greasy, yellow, mop on your head!

Legolas: Greasy? I wouldn't say anything Mr. "Go-for-a-year-long-road-trip- to-Mordor-without-washing-my-hair-the-whol- time"!

Galdriel: Will you two shut up and keep reading!? This is getting good! (Galadriel eats some popcorn from a bowl being passed around)

//"So Aragorn invited Legolas into his house and Legolas sat down in a chair. Aragorn started fixing his hair. When he wqas doen, Legolas looked ito the mirror and gasped.

'This is great!' he said. Aragorn had made two braided piggy-tails in his hair. 'I'm gonna go visit Gimli and tell him I have better braids than him! Thanx Estel!'

'Anytime, Greenlef!'

The End"\\

(Aragorn and Legolas stare in horror)

(Galadriel, Bormir, and the Narrator applaud)

Narrator: I think I could live with this.

Sauron: Oh really? Then let's get one about you.

Narrator: How can that be? I'm not famous. No one pays attention to the Narrator. Why do you think I talk so much? I need to get attention somehow. It's not easy knowing the story and only saying it bit by bit. You know-

Sauron: Orcsipoo! Put the next story in!

(The orc behind Borimir moved to put in the next story🙂

//"A ROUGH DAY FOR THE NARRATOR

A story very quickly written by Sauron, Lord of the Rings"\\

Narrator: Oh no! You just now wrote this just to be mean to me?

(Sauron smiles evilly)

//" One day the Narrator was narrating..."\\

All: Well DUH!

Sauron: Silence! Read!

//"... when he tripped and fell on his face. Everyone laughed. The End."\\

All: *stare in shock*

Narrator: *shrieks*

Galadriel (covering ears): Will someone shut him up?!

(An orc duct-tapes Narrator's mouth shut)

Galadriel: Thank you.

(Sauron is talking to one of his orcs)

Sauron: Okay bring him in.

(The orc goes to the door and walks back in carrying a sack. Out of the sack he dumps Gimli in a chair in between the Narrator and Legolas)

Gimli: Okay, where am I? Hello, Legolas. What's going on?

Legolas: *explains the torture*

Gimli (turns white): That's worse than the usual torture!

Borimir: Actually, it's quite entertaining when its aimed at someone else.

Sauron: Oh really, Borimir? Then let's see how you like this one.

Borimir: oh no

//"Borimir Falls in Love

By an Orc"\\

Borimir (goes white): oh no!

Galadriel: This should be a good one (continues eating popcorn.)

//"One day Borimir was asleep, when a fairy came and tapped him on his nose saying, 'The next female you see you will fall in love with,'

The next day, Borimir traveled to Lothlorien."\\

Galadreil: NO! They had better not! If they do I'll.

//"On the way there he ran into Galadriel, the lady of light-"\\

Galadriel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

//"The moment he saw her he ran and said to her, 'I love you!'"\\

Borimir: *tries to hide his eyes but fails because of the chains*

Galadriel: *gawks* *shrieks uncontrollably*

(An orc has to duct-tape her mouth shut)

//"Galadriel runs away to Celeborn. Borimir cries.

The End"\\

Borimir: I'll get you your ring! Just don't do that again!

Legolas: *kicks Borimir* We can't give up yet! Be strong!

Borimir: *whimper*

Sauron: I'm actually quite enjoying this. I don't think I'll stick to the regular plan for a while.

All: *cries*

Sauron: Okay, We've gotten Legolas, Aragorn, the Narrator-

Narrator: *mouth still duct-taped* mmugk yooo!

Sauron: Language, Narrator, lanuage. Now as I waas saying we only have Gimli left. Then we shall start over again.

Gimli: *whimper*

Gimli: *shaking with fright*

Narrator: *mouth still duct taped* Gwimwi wash im ferw as da nest ourt swooooowee pup iwn da stowy

(Translation: Gimli watched in fear as the next orc sloooooooooooowly put in the story)

Gimli: NO! Please don't put on that story!!! PLEASE! I'll do anything! I don't want to read it!!!

Sauron: Evil laugh!

"Gimli's Bad Hair Day"

Aragorn: But isn't that everyday?

Gimli: *glares*

"One day Gimli was walking though the Misty Mountains when he came by a strange bottle. So he picked it up and looked at the label: CONDITIONER He turned it to the back and looked at the directions: TO USE: After shampooing, apply, massage in, and rinse. Of course he didn't know what shampooing meant-"

Legolas: Is that true, Gimli?

Gimli: *whistles distractedly*

"but when he looked down again, there was another bottle: SHAMPOO These directions were different: Lather into wet hair, rinse, repeat. So Gimli went to a nearby stream, and did as the directions told him. When he was finished, he sat in the sun while his hair dried. When it did, his head felt lighter for some reason! He looked around him and saw a very strange object. It was flat and had some sort of stick things sticking from it (a comb). A little tag on it said: RUN THROUGH HAIR AFTER WASHING So Gimli of course complied. Then he looked into the stream to see his reflection... and he screamed!"

Gimli: *goes white*

Everyone: *reads excitedly*

"His hair was strait, and shiny!"

Everyone: *laughs at the mental image of Gimli with strait hair*

Gimli: *nearly faints*

"So Gimli ran around cursing the shampoo and conditioner. Then he threw them into a nearby cave where they were picked up by some Goblins and used to torture other Dwarves."

Gimli: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

Legolas: Gimli.

Gimli: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

Legolas: uh... Gimli?

Gimli: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.!

Legolas: Gimli...

Gimli: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...!

Legolas: YOU'RE TURNING BLUE!!!

Gimli: OOOOO- *stops yelling*

Galadriel: Wiw yu pwease sake sis sape oof me muth?

(Translation: Will you please take this tape off my mouth?)

Sauron: If you promise not to yell anymore.

Galadriel: Why pwomis.

(Translation: I promise.)

Sauron: Okay, *looks at orcs* you, orc!

Orcs: *all point to themselves in question*

Sauron: No, that orc! The ugly one!

Orcs: *still confused*

Sauron: *sighs* Will one of you orcs just go take the tape off her mouth?!

Orcs: *all race towards Galadriel*

Galadriel: *screams*

Sauron: *watches amused* *has a thought* take the tape off of the Narrator's also.

Narrator: Fank yu

(Translation: Thank you)

About a hundred more Orcs: *swarm towards the Narrator*

Narrator: *screams*

**Two hours later**

Narrator: So they finally got the tape off. Me and Galadriel look rather ruffled. Her hair is standing on end and my face has some scratches, but other wise we are fine and ready to read the next story.

Sauron: This is a story that is my personal favorite, and you'll see why in a minute. Orc-breath! Put in the next story!

(A VERY ugly orc moved to put in the next story)

"Sauron's best day ever"

Aragorn: Should we be scared?

Sauron: heehee

"One day all of the fellowship DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sauron got his ring back and ruled the world forever more."

All: *stare blankly*

Sauron: So? What do you think? Wasn't the great!

All: *keep staring*

Narrator: What about me?

Sauron: Oh, that's right! We forgot about the Narrator! Orcsipoo! Edit!

Narrator: The orc that is still behind Borimir takes out the story and writes something on it.

"Sauron's best day ever One day all of the fellowship (an the narater) DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED DIED! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sauron got his ring back and ruled the world forever more."

All: *continue to stare*

Borimir: That was so stupid!

Aragorn: Yeah, was that supposed to frighten us or something?

Galadriel: Are you trying to be pathetic or where you born that way?

Legolas: Did you notice there were only 9 "DIED"s so really the Narrator couldn't have died so...

Gimli: *sobbing* I don't wanna die!!!!

Narrator: At least I was included right?

Sauron: *really angry now* So, you want something worse huh? WELL I'LL GIVE YOU WORSE!!! ORC! PUT IN THE NEXT STORY! I DON'T CARE WHICH ORC! JUST SOMEONE PUT IT IN!

(Lurtz moves to put in the next story)

my baby lives!!!

^gollum goes shopping

and

...

whoa, Gollum the Ballerina is very...um....interesting........and a little disturbing! lol funny though

i want the rest of the story!!! what will happen next??? im dying of anticipation!!!!

legolas is a ballarina to

lol thats a good one seen one like but with gollum ..... 😄

Originally posted by ladygrim
lol thats a good one seen one like but with gollum ..... 😄

yeah, that one's just a few posts up^

kewl

😆

🙂

😐

hey i never notced

Originally posted by Nazgulinthedark
...

i have a dog just like this to, ill have to find him and post a pic

kewl sig nazgul.. ( sorry for the off topic )

🙂 ...kewl

😂 calvin is a ringwraith 😊