Celebrity Deathmatch... Bond Style!

Didn't see anything like this posted yet, so I thought I would start a similar topic to that found in the general discussion forum. Pitch two 007 characters (Anything goes except James himself...villains, henchmen, Bond girls are all fair game) against each other and discuss who would win and why. Mine first:

Round 1:
Xenia Onatopp (Famke Janssen) v. May Day (Grace Jones)

Breakdown:
While Max Zorin's little Amazon certainly had the intimidation look down, she just doesn't stand up to someone who actually got aroused by pain. The longer this matchup goes on, the more this matchup works in Xenia's favor. Just keep her away from those parachutes!

Projection:
Xenia in four rounds by TKO.

Comment, or introduce the next matchup!

😮‍💨

Alright Primative - Good thread...this I can work with.

Round 2:
Jaws ( Richard Kiel - Moonraker ) Vs. OddJob ( Harold Sakata - Goldfinger )

Although OddJob might have the upper had being able to use his hat as a viable weapon...I think he would be overmatched by Jaws, for Jaws could simply catch the hat in his teeth and then tear it apart as Oddjob watched in horror.

Projection:
Jaws in 2 rounds...The Tyson Move...biting of the ear.

I think that the biting would be grounds for disqualification, not that O.J. would still be alive to claim the match. Next up:

Round 3: Ultra-Flyweight Division
Nick Nack vs. Mr. Kidd

Looks like there'll be a few hits below the belt in this matchup. If he's not too careful, good old Mr. Kidd could find himself getting knocked out of his already light loafers by Scaramanga's small wonder in the first couple of rounds. But Mr. Kidd's playful tendencies and lighthearted demeanor should keep him circling the ring for awhile.

Unfortunately, the coaching techniques of life-partner Wint are no match for the Golden Gun golden child, and poor Mr. Kidd will find that not all diamonds are forever... as Nick Nack will take to the low road and deliver mighty blow after blow to the family jewels.

Projection:
Nick Nack in nine rounds.

Round 4: Boris vs Bambi And Thumper

Lured into the ring on the promise of a new AppleMac, Boris is immediately wailed on by the feisty duo. And then sat on. Repeatedly. Just to make sure. Invincible indeed...

Bambi And Thumper in 5 seconds

this is supposed to be celebrity deathmatch, get some weapons and big deaths or something.....also I dont think Jaws should be DQ'd as the deathmatch rules would allow it to continue??

Round 3: Posh & Rich Division
Max Zorin Vs Willard Whyte

Well The fighters do take a while to reach the ring as they're walletsare holding them back. Both Men Circle the ring for many rounds with no punches being given or even a single hit been made...

Projection:
Dra, Both fighters were paid to take a dive 😄

So.... the crowd demands bloodlust!! No better way than by pitting two disappointing supporting villainesses in a catfight to the death. I give you...

THE CAGE MATCH!!!!!
Round 4: Miranda Frost vs. Electra King

Miss King kicks off the match with hopes that her bondage chair proves to be more successful than it was on 007. But before the final twist can be applied to Miss Frost's fragile neck, the end-of-round bell sounds.... allowing Miranda the chance to bring her expert swordsmanship into play.

No Renard to nab you away this time, Electra. It's Kibbles 'n Bits for you as Miranda applies the slice and dice... and we have our first fatality of the evening, ladies and gentlemen!!!!

Decision: Miranda Frost wins in three rounds by decapitation.

Whaddaya MEAN rounds 3 and 4? I made a round 3!

Round 7 - The Alter Ego Round

Mr. Big vs. Dr. Kananga

Dr. Kananga starts off by offering his home grown Heroin to Mr. Big, trancing him into a lull. Mr Big, trying to retaliate uses his Filet of soul food to counter the effects, only manages to eat too much and explode as he has over stuffed himself.

Seeing as they are one in the same...there is no winner, and yet no loser. It is a draw !

The crowd stands in confusion...

ok and for the piece de resistance

a bond deathmatch special, a bond free for all, for the first time in 20 films, or 40 years, every single bond is here tonight, and they will fight to the death tonight, after these important messeges!

Wow these messages have gone on for a while. Did Connery win?

By default when Moore was DQ'ed for trying to use Zorin's blimp as a suppository on Dalton.

Bump!

Well Connery WOULD win, wouldn't he?

everyone could, why would?

The other four would just be too afraid of him to take him on 😛 .

cause he would smack the girls?

Some of the others did too, I think {like Pierce hitting Xenia in "GE"}.

I just said that Connery would win because I like him the best ...

but that was in the heat of the moment, connery did it for fun so to speak 😖

but nothing based upon? cause when it comes to being icecold, that would be Dalton

Ah but you're forgetting something vital, yerss old chap; a man can't truly win a fight unless he's got that cutting wit to back up the fisticuffs. Dalton was kind of lacking in that department ...