Top 20 (more or less) Ways to Tell if a Redneck is Working at a Computer in your Office:
1.The mouse is referred to as a, "critter."
2.The keyboard is camouflaged.
3.There is a skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
4.There is a gunrack mounted on the CPU.
5.The password is, "bubba."
6.The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
7.Nothing on this line but the number 7 again to prove that I ain't no redneck.
8.Windows 95 has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
9.Outgoing faxes have iced tea stains on them.
10.The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too fast.
11.The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed in them.
12.The menus all have Remington, Browning, and Real Tree options.
13.Jeff Foxworthy *.wavs.
14.The monitor is up on blocks.
15.Seven blue tick hounds under the desk.
16.Deer jerky in the desk drawer.
17.The screen saver consists of pictures of Ned Beatty with Dueling Banjos playing in the background.
18.The six front keys have rotted out.
19.John Deer Pocket Protectors.
20. The Mouse Pad is a well worn back Issue of Field & Stream.
If you have ever used your toilet brush as a backscratcher....
If your car is on blocks and your house is on wheels....
If you walk your daughter to school because youre in the same grade...
If half of your property value is NASCAR commemorative plates...
If you are walking your dog and you both stop to use the Fire Hydrant...
If you pronouce it "WINDERS XP"...
If your family tree doesn't fork...
If the town meeting is also a Family Reunion...
You might be a Redneck
Redneck Word: Usetacould (Us-ta-could)
Q- Can you dance?
A- I usetacould.
Originally posted by drunk_nazgul
See, yall, I'm from this lil' place in Tennessee... We ALL drink beer!
Ever seen that thar Blue Collar Com'dy Tour? Got all them redneck jokes on 'em? Well, yall shou'd. 'S funny, dang funny, like them thar co-mee-dians! 😄
Yes that's the one! That's the movie I was talking about... 😕
heres' the story I heard: someone was driving a car and hit a beaver. The guy went out of the car to search for it and take it to the taximermist. When he would found it, he picked it up by the tail and said, "why it ain'thurt, bloodied or nothing." Nothing is the key word that brings a beaver back to life. The beaver curled up and bit the guy's nipple off. Not bit it, bit it off. Now that's a redneck for ya.