A past that never is

Rated R-Chapter 6 has explicit sex scenes. Also some language

A past that never is.

Shifter. A woman of extraordinary means. With an unusual past. Saved by Morpheus from dangerous circumstances. She is smart, tough, but alone. In her unending quest for inner peace. She is like the others from the Matrix, but sometimes the past can never stay where it belongs…the past that never is

I walked slowly up the ramp of the Hammer, my home for the next two years. As I reached the top I was met by a tall man who introduced himself as Mauser, he took me to see the captain of the ship.

“Captain Roland, this is our new trainee operator, Shifter.” Mauser said, then he left. I stood at attention until Roland gestured to the seat across from his desk. On the desk was a file and he tapped it with one finger.

“There are a few things I’d like to know that aren’t explained in this file. I know that you’re a plug in so why is that you’ve trained as an operator and not for some other position?” He asked. I should have known that he would have asked me that, it was a question that I had foolishly hoped that would never be asked of me.

“I have not had good experiences in the matrix. I made my decision not to go back in there if I could avoid it.” I replied.

“If I knew what your reasons were for not going back in there, I might better understand.” He said.

“I know. But like I said, it is not something that I enjoy talking about. It will not affect my duties as operator.” I said. He stared at me for a moment as if trying to determine if I was being deliberately insubordinate. Eventually he shrugged his shoulders.

“As I understand it was Captain Morpheus who freed you from the matrix. Why didn’t you put in for a position on his ship?” He asked.

“He did free me, but not from the matrix.” The words had been out before I could stop them and I certainly hadn’t meant to say them out loud.

“They already have an operator on that ship, and you know Morpheus is a very private person. Besides I didn’t want people giving me breaks just because they knew me and everyone on the Nebachadenezzar knows who I am.” And what those bastards did to me. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to get rid of some unwanted images. I opened my eyes again and stared at the wall over Roland’s head.

“Okay. Our current operator is AK; you will work with him for the last two hours of his shift then take the shift after his. He will also give you your room assignment. That’s all.” He said. I nodded and left, so that was the man that everyone referred to as ‘the captain that never smiles.’ I made my way up to the main deck. I waited for the operator to notice me; he finally turned around to face me. He was very easy on the eye, and I had no doubt that some of the women in Zion would like to do certain things with him, I was not one of them however.

“Hey, Shifter right?” He asked. I nodded.

“I’m AK, the greatest operator to ever exist.” He said. I raised my eyebrows slightly. And the maddest, I added silently.

“Is that all you brought with you?” He pointed at my small carryall.

“I’m not one for having loads of possessions. You can get to attached to them.” I replied. He gave me an odd look.

“Whatever floats your boat.” He mumbled. Now it was my turn to give him a strange look.

“What’s a boat?” I asked curiously. He gave me yet another odd look and was about to answer when a woman came in.

“Maggie, this is Shifter, Shifter, Maggie. You’re no longer the only woman on board.” AK said, in some relief. Maggie smiled at me.

“Nice to meet you.” She said.

“Likewise.

“There’s another reason why I’m here. Medical exam, Shifter.” She said to me.

“Might as well get it over with.” I said. I followed her down to the med lab and she ran through some tests.

“Why does your left knee not respond as it should?” She asked me. I looked back at her. I had always hated medical exams, they reminded me too much of what they did to me, as a result I tried as much as possible not to pay to much attention to medical exams being performed on me.

“What do you mean?” I asked. She tapped my right knee with the small hammer, it jerked slightly, and then she did the same to my left knee.

“That’s what I mean.” She said.

“Oh…I damaged it when I was a child.” I said. Mostly due to the fact that they removed part of the bone, I thought. I still walked with a slight limp.

“Okay, next are the x-rays. According to your medical file you haven’t had any in the last number of years.” She said.

“I don’t need x-rays. I have been cleared for them.” I said.

“Does the captain know this?” She asked, taking the disc.

“I don’t know.” I answered. She went over to the mic and asked for Roland to come down to the med lab. A few moments later he arrived and she spoke quietly to him for a moment then they both turned to me.

“I received no word of this from Commander Locke.” Roland said.

“Perhaps it wasn’t from him, but maybe the counsel.” I said easily, I had never liked Locke much, after Morpheus brought me back to Zion after he rescued me Locke had almost instantly used me as a science experiment. After Dozer and Tanks family spoke to the counsel about what was happening and they ordered him to stop did he do so. Ever since that time he had gone to every effort to make my life miserable. Roland shook his head.

“No, no word from them either. Why are we not supposed to do x-rays on you?” He asked. I stared at the floor, then back up to glance at Maggie.

“Alone, please captain.” I requested. He looked at me for a moment, then turned to Maggie, who left. Then he faced me again.

“This had better be good.” He said. I nodded once, not meeting his eyes.

“I have seen the way people look at me when they find out that my skeleton is at least fifteen percent metal. I have been called many things for it. Do not think me so childish as to say this is the only reason why I do not want to get x-rayed or medical exams. I have my reasons, perhaps to you or another person they are not good ones, but there are reasons as to why I can’t tell you everything.” I said. He eventually nodded.

“I will be contacting Commander Locke to verify this.” He stated.

“Of course, sir.” I said as I slid off the bed. I walked in the direction of the dorms and deposited my bag there, after that I wasn’t quite sure what to do.

A past that never is Pt 2

((Two months later))

At the moment all the crew save myself, AK and Mauser were in the matrix. I sat in front of the matrix feed, symbols scrolled down the monitors. Mauser and AK were in the mess hall, eating some of the wonderful glop referred to as food. It only took a moment of glancing away, but when I looked back the monitors, the feed had changed.

“Dammit! AK get up here!” I called into the mic. Already my fingers were dancing across the keys. AK and Mauser came running onto the main deck.

“What is it?” AK asked as he joined me. I nodded at the monitors, figuring he’d need no more information than that. Mauser however looked at it like the whole thing was written in some foreign language.

“What are you doing?” Mauser asked.

“Trying to slow it down. AK we have to get them out now, I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.” I snapped. I could vaguely hear his voice in the background as he spoke to Roland. A few moments later they started coming out, first Maggie and then the others, Roland was last. As soon as AK had pulled the spike free of the socket in his head, Roland came over to me.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Virus.” Was all I said. My fingers flew across the keyboard, as I tried in vain to keep up with the virus.

“Can you stop it?” He asked. I shook my head; no.

“Don’t look at me, I’ve never seen a virus like this before.” AK added. I glanced briefly at Roland.

“I can only do this for so long. You’d better find us a good hiding place, because there’s only one to stop this thing.” I said.

“How?” He asked.

“Shut it down, flush the whole system and reload everything.” I replied. He knew what I meant and he instantly started barking orders, everyone started moving to follow his commands. I didn’t stop working though; damn this virus was a tricky bastard. We flew for a few hours, eventually it turned into two days, every where we tried to set down there were sentinels. People came and went through the main deck, before the second day even started I wasn’t really noticing who they were. Someone touched my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

“Shit! Don’t do that.” I snapped. Roland stared at me one eyebrow raised quizzically.

“I brought you some food and coffee.” He said. I blinked several times and rubbed my eyes, before replying.

“Thank you, sir. Didn’t mean to sound rude, sorry.” I mumbled, as I grabbed the coffee and slugged down half of it before he had time to say anything.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not easy to be polite when you’ve been up for forty eight hours.” He said. I shook my head.

“Has it been that long already? I think I lost track of time sometime yesterday.” I said.

“Shouldn’t you be working at that?” He gestured to the monitor. I shook my head slightly.

“It’s slowing down, maybe five minutes before each new break out.” I answered.

“Most viruses can be stopped, why not this one?” He asked. I looked away, as I ran a hand over my hair.

“I…uh… don’t know, captain.” I muttered. Then my eyes drifted back to the monitor and I almost dropped the cup.

“Breaks over.” I put my hands back on the keyboard. As Roland silently left me alone to my work. I didn’t know it then, but he had asked everyone to give me the peace I needed to work. A few hours later he returned with more coffee, at yet another lull in the virus. He sat down in a nearby chair. This was the first time I had ever been this close to someone for the first time in my life that I could remember.

“We’re getting near somewhere that we think will fit our purposes. How are you holding up?” He asked gently. I stared at him for a moment, this was the person that people thought didn’t care for other people? Of course he could just be worried for the fact that I was the only one who could do anything about the virus, but that wasn’t the feeling I was getting.

“Good enough captain. When this is all over I’m gonna sleep for a week.”

“Yes, I’ve never seen that shade of red on anyone before.” He said jokingly. I stared blankly at him for a moment.

“Your eyes look terrible.” He said.

“Yeah, you ought to see them from in here.” I grinned. Then mentally pulled myself back, I knew what he was doing, but did I want the same thing? Be honest with him. A silent voice told me.

“Captain, about this virus. I don’t think that we caught it randomly.” I said.

“What do you mean? Are you saying that someone on board gave us this on purpose?” He asked. I shook my head.

“No, sir.” I ran a hand over my hair.

“Before Morpheus rescued me from the matrix, about eighteen years ago if I remember correctly. I created a virus, it could not be stopped, slowed down yes.” I said. He looked at me, uncomprehension clear in his eyes. I sighed, time for the whole truth? The thought was fleeting, part of the whole truth I decide finally.

“Morpheus rescued me, but like I said it wasn’t from the matrix. It was from the machines, they had removed me from the matrix, and I don’t even remember it. I made a virus that could be planted into a computer of any ship that hacked into the matrix.” Now I saw understanding dawn on his face.

“Please, try to understand. It wasn’t worth my life to defy them…” Until I did, I added on silently.

“Oh and what is your life worth?” He asked, instead of sounding angry he sounded genuinely curious.

“Now? I’m not so sure. Back then, it was all I had and I’m not even sure I wanted it all that much, but how was I to know if death was any worse?” I asked. And they would have made my death one to remember. I thought. I could imagine the look on his face if I told him the whole truth, and not just pieces of it, like I was currently doing.

“But they’ve worked on it since then. I made it so that if it weren’t destroyed within forty-eight hours then it would shut itself down. It’s also adapting, moving faster than it’s supposed to. Every time I think I’ve stopped it for a while it comes back stronger and harder to hit than before. You better pray that we get there within the next hour, Roland. If we don’t I don’t know what’s going to happen.” I said. I didn’t even notice that I had addressed him as ‘Roland’ and not as Captain or sir. He didn’t seem to notice.

We eventually landed the ship and purged the system, after which I returned to my quarters for the sleep that I had been missing for the last few days. I knew that once I woke up I had a let of questions to answer. Despite the fact that I was exhausted I only slept a few hours before being woken by one of my many nightmares. It took me a few minutes to calm down enough to realise where I was and then I was up and on my way to the mess hall. I grabbed a bowl of glop, and sat down at one of the long tables. I stared at the unappealing flavourless food in front of me, I hated eating, but it was something that I had no choice in. I can remember after Morpheus found and rescued me, I had lain curled up on a bed for what felt like days, refusing to eat anything, eventually he had no choice but to put me on a drip. I can still feel the long needle entering the plug in my arm, feeling the fluid from the IV coursing through my body as it kept me alive. Morpheus had sat next to my bed all that time, I think that I was in a state that many refer to as catatonic, he talked to me and sometimes he just sat watching me, giving me his silent support. He was the closest thing I had ever had to a father. After I got back to Zion that all changed, Morpheus handed me over to Commander Locke and then he went back to his ship and his life and forgot about me. Or at least that’s what I thought at the time.

“You’re awake.” Roland’s voice broke into my morbid thoughts. My head jerked up, as I stared at him, I hadn’t even heard him come in.

“Couldn’t sleep.” I mumbled.

“Something bothering you?” He asked calmly. Only the childhood I never got to have, I thought.

“Not really.” I answered.

“You’re not a great liar you know.” He said as he sat down opposite me.

“Not one of my skills.” I ducked my head back down. He looked at me in silence for a moment.

“What happened earlier?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Your room is right next to mine, I heard you screaming a few times.” He replied. I blushed, I didn’t even know I’d done that.

“Just a nightmare.” Welcome to my little world, where I never get the chance to just be me. Whoever ‘me’ is. I added silently.

“You sure that’s all it was?” He asked. What is this, twenty questions?

“You and I probably don’t have time for this. I’m supposed to go work with AK in a few minutes.” I said.

“Actually, you have the next twenty four hours off and I’m the captain of this ship, if I want I can take the time.” He caught my arm, which I yanked free. I smiled grimly at him.

“You ever wish that you could start your life all over, captain? Have you ever wanted, more than anything to go back and change your life?” I spat at him. I was surprised when he nodded.

“Sometimes, who doesn’t wish for that. But consider, if we were able to go back and change certain parts of our lives, would we still be who we are now?” He asked. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

“That’s easy for you to say.” I snapped. He nodded again.

“You’re right, it is.” He paused for a moment and caught my eye.

“You are expecting me to understand something that I know nothing about. How can I if you don’t tell me what’s bothering you?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.” I answered. He cocked his head to one side.

“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that? I might surprise you.” He said. I sighed in frustration and dropped my head, as I sat back down. It had always been this way with me, people would ask me what was bothering me and I’d say nothing, they’d accept my answer. Then there were people like Roland who kept pushing.

“You’d better be sure that’s what you want, before I answer that.” I said. He sat back on the bench and spread his arms wide.

“All I have is time.” Then he turned slightly more serious, as he ducked his head slightly.

“I have another confession to make.” He ran a hand over his short greying hair.

“I felt it the first time you walked into my office. That’s why I was avoiding you for the first few days you were here, I was hoping it would go away, but it wouldn’t. Then I decided that there was no point in fighting the inevitable. I can see that something’s hurting you, I want to help but I can’t unless I know what’s going on.” He said.

“That’s in our nature I guess, to try to get away from our own destiny. It’s something we cannot do, no matter how hard we try.” I said. But I knew what he meant; I liked him to, in a way I had never liked anyone before. Which made it all that much harder to speak of this to him, but I knew that if I wanted anything to happen between us, then he would have to know sooner or later, and even if I tried to put it off he would eventually find out.

“I don’t remember coming out of the matrix, I must have been very young, maybe even still a baby. That you already know. What you don’t know is that it was the machines that removed me from the matrix. Many people are given the choice of what they want to do with their lives, I was not. The first few years of my live are a little blurry, probably because I didn’t want to remember them. I’m not sure what their plans for me were, but I think that they had some idea that I could either be some kind of human agent, or a cyborg in this world.” I met his eyes.

“Hence the parts of my skeleton that were removed and replaced with metal. They did the first one of those little operation when I was five, and I remember that very well. They said that there would be no anaesthetic because that would interfere to much, they had to be able to read my vitals properly.” I moved my eyes away from his, because I didn’t want to see his reaction to what else I had to say.

“They also had unique ideas on torture. Aside from the more normal; if you could call torture normal, methods of beating, they used to drown me and then revive me, only to do it all over again. And their training methods are not what you’d call painless,” I laughed humourlessly, I pointed at the scar that ran across my chin.

“This is just one of their little gifts to me and believe me this isn’t the worst of them. They wanted to see how long a human body can last without oxygen, so they took blood out of me, removed the oxygen and pumped it back in. Do you have any idea how painful that can be? One of the worst things they did was to put a hot spike in my socket and then cuff my hands just close enough that I could brush my fingers against it, but not close enough that I could pull it free.” I finally met his eyes again. I saw something there that I did not want to see; it was like he was sharing my pain.

“When a woman is raped she at least has an idea of why. To do that as often as they want, without caring about what it does to the child their doing it to. Maybe you know the answer, Roland. Because I sure as hell don’t. What do you say to a child when they ask you why someone would hurt them like that?” I raised my eyebrows. I had now told him everything, and I waited for his reaction.

The poem ‘Sleeping Beauty’ belongs to Scarlett Faerie and I’d like to thank her for letting me use it here.

*********

I have held the doors open for far too long

Every arrow and dagger have flung themselves into my world

Ripped apart my disillusioned faith

And I am weary of continuous destruction rolling each stab into the next.

I can no longer hold myself here

Feeling the laughter from every eye that keeps staring

Boring holes into my head

Keeping a silent vigil on each step I take

Watching me as I stumble

*********

He sat as if frozen, and I knew that he didn’t know what to say to me. Just as he was about to speak Mauser came in.

“Captain, there’s a problem in the matrix, you’re needed.” He said. Roland was up and out the door almost immediately, I think he was almost relieved to go, so was a part of me. I hadn’t been sure what he’d say or what he’d do. I closed my eyes briefly; maybe I shouldn’t have said anything to him. My past, mine. I shouldn’t have told him anything. Now you’re going to get transferred. I thought.

“Shifter, we need you up here.” AK’s voice said from the speaker above the door. Work, that was something that I could handle, keep my mind off my own problems. I got to the main deck and saw that everyone but Mauser and AK had jacked in. I stared at Roland for a moment, before turning my full attention back to AK.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Colt and Maggie were having a problem. Maggie got shot so Roland and the others went in to help them out before agents caught them. They should be coming out right about…now.” As he spoke Maggies eyes opened and I pulled the spike from her head.

“You okay?” I asked. She nodded once, a few moments later Colt came back.

“Agents.” He said before I even got the chance to unplug him. I looked over at Roland, he and Jorn were the only ones left inside.

“Dammit! Lines gone!” AK snapped. He started pulling up maps of the surrounding areas, looking for another exit. An alarm soundly blared through the whole ship.

“Shit! Sentinels, Maggie, Colt get to the gun bay.” Mauser snapped. He headed for the cockpit; I looked over AK’s shoulder, from where I was standing. My attention was pulled away as the monitor over Jorns chair started beeping faster and blood started leaking out of his mouth and nose, then he went flatline. I looked back at AK who was moving faster than I had ever seen him as he worked to get the exit up, then he started talking to Roland when he rang in looking for directions, after a moment he turned back to me.

“He’s got a lot of agents on his back. He may not make it. Mauser, what’s going on up there?” He said. I to could hear what Mauser was saying.

“They’re getting closer, I don’t think they’ve spotted us yet.” There was a pause.

“We may have to unplug him if they do find us.” In that moment I made my decision.

*********

And now the last pieces of hope are fading

Exhaustion has begun to plague my every footprint

As I trek along these ancient trails;

The mountains that reach up into my skies

Volcanoes which have always been dying

Are now broken reminders of the times when once I scaled those heights

As I stare at those cloud covered peaks.

My heart echoes the screams of the eagles

Though I no longer soar with them across uncountable miles

*********

“AK. I can go in, help him get out.” I said. AK looked at me as if I was crazy, he was probably right.

“What can you do?”

“I can do some things that others can’t. If it was anyone else in there would he give us up for dead?” He turned back to his monitors for a moment, for a moment I thought he was going to ignore my suggestion, then he looked back at me and nodded.

“Okay, but if anyone; aka the captain asks, it was your idea.” He said. I nodded quickly and sat in the chair next to Rolands and waited for AK to plug me in. I could feel my hands tighten around the armrest, it may have been years since I had last jacked in, but I still hated it. It felt like someone had yanked me forward and then I was in a sidestreet next to a ringing phone, I picked it up.

“Operator.”

“Where is he, AK?”

“The fifth floor of the building on your left. Shit! You’d better get to him fast. Sentinels have spotted us.”

“Five minutes, AK that’s all I need.” I said and hung up. Now AK was going to see something he had probably never seen before. I knew that to anyone who was watching my body would just appear to shimmer from one form to another. Black denim jacket and blue jeans melting into the feathers of the peregrine falcon, this was something I had not done in a long time. I soared upwards and circled the building, looking for a way in then I saw that someone had left the window between the seventh and the sixth floor open; I flew in and down the stairs. I turned myself into a cat and slipped out the door.

“This is all it comes down to. You are a virus, which is what all humans are. Prepare for your death.” The agent said.

//How about you prepare for yours first?// As I had not yet assumed my own form my voice seemed to come from nowhere. But at the sound the agent whirled, I leaped past him to land next to Roland.

“The traitor has returned. Did you come to help us here, Shape Shifter?” The agent asked. I turned my head sharply to stare at him for a second, but I didn’t have time to get into a conversation with any agent.

//I don’t have time to explain, you have to trust me.// I said quickly before touching his shoulder and then going falcon again, as he assumed the form of a small field mouse. I grabbed him gently in my claws and flew back in the direction of the elevator, which was just closing. I made it just as they closed, but not before one of the agents had gotten a shot off at us. I felt the bullet bite deep into me.and I dropped Roland, who as soon as I did changed back into himself. I however continued moving and crashed into the back of the elevator and returned to my human form.

“Shit!” I clutched my thigh, trying to stop the flow of blood.

“You and I are going to have a long talk about this…later.” Then he was there next to me, tying his tie tightly around my leg to make a tourniquet. He had lost his gun somewhere along the way and I pulled out a silver deagle handing it to him, just as the doors opened. He pulled me up and put his shoulder under my arm helping me stand, together we hobbled out of the elevator. No agents were in sight, at least not yet.

“Phones just over there.” I said pointing as we came out of the building. He nodded and hurried to it; if you could call a three legged stumble hurrying. The phone was already ringing; he picked it up and held it to my ear. Then I was back on the Hammer, a moment later I was joined by Roland.

“Fry them, AK.” He said. I realised that in my absence Mauser had set the ship down somewhere. With a crackle of energy AK blew the EMP. As soon as he had Roland turned a stern gaze on me.

*********

Perhaps the fear of lying bare in the deserts of my mind

Have caused me to break away from the rest of humanity

Tired of wondering when I shall hear that breath of liberation

Tired of wondering when I shall be rewarded with that smile

So this fortress has almost finished its construction

Each brick formed and laid by worn out hands

Which have too often felt the rain of my tears

As they support my heavy head

And I shrink deep into the caverns once deserted

Where my fingers now trace listless patterns

In the dust that has settled upon my walls.

Eternity is far too long to wait

For a touch

A whisper

A breath

*********

“In my office now.” He said. Yeah, I’m going to hear about it now, I thought, as I followed behind him. As soon as we got there he looked right at me.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” He snapped.

“I was-”

“I don’t want to hear it. What the hell would have happened if we’d both died in there? This ship would have lost two crew not just one. What were you thinking?”

“I was trying to help you. If I hadn’t gone in there then those agents would have killed you. Or am I wrong in thinking that they would have?”

“That’s not the point! If I have to die, then I die. I will not have a member of my crew take my place in such a situation, especially not you.” The last part was almost whispered, but I still heard it.

“What did he mean by calling you the traitor?” I sighed, I knew that was coming.

“I don’t know how he can call me a traitor, I mean you have to have someone’s trust before they can betray you, right? And I never trusted them, so how could I have betrayed them.” I paused for a moment before glaring at him.

“I already told you what they made me do for them before you went into the Matrix, remember? Or was that little part of what I said not important? Do you think I went into the Matrix for fun? Because I can assure you that I did not. You think that I would go near them again if given the choice? I went in there because I-” he stopped speaking, turned and fled from his office.

“Dammit.” That was what he had meant to imply. He hurried after her, not really noticing the look that AK gave him as he ran past. He stopped outside the door of her room, after a moment he knocked on the door, eventually I opened it, and without a word I turned back to the bed and sat down leaning against the wall at the head of the bed. I stared at him unseeingly.

“You just don’t get it do you? No matter how I try I can’t escape my past, every time I try something happens to bring it all back to me. Everytime I close my eyes, or I go to sleep I see them and what they did to me. Most people have nightmares about not getting to work on time, or showing up in their underwear. I dream of sentinels torturing me and agents raping me. No matter where I go in my dreams or how fast I run, it’s never enough.” I finally met his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to bring it back to you. I don’t want to upset you. It’s just that…” He ran a hand over his short hair.

“I don’t know I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I saw that it was you that had come for me and I got a little more upset than I would if it was anyone else. Then you got shot and it felt like a part of me had been hit too. I’m not the kind of person who panics easily, but when I saw you lying there holding your leg I wanted to take that pain for you. I didn’t want you to be hurt by them any more than you already had been.” He said.

“You went after them on purpose.” It was a statement of fact, not a question.

“Yes. I’d do it again to if I had to.” He said. I don’t know why, but I threw myself at him and grabbed him in a hug, I kissed him on the cheek and then buried my face in his neck.

“Thank you.” I whispered. For a moment he stood with his arms outstretched as if not quite sure how to respond, then he wrapped his arms around me and held me closer.

*********

One single heartbeat that echoes like the earthquakes

That have torn into the landscapes of solitude

And become the drumbeat that counts the seconds

Of immortality relived.

Who will come and watch the final sunset?

As gentle rays of golden shivers

Make their last journeys up your spine

I have fallen from my star

Frozen on this event horizon

And begun to unstring all the notes on this arpeggio of broken wings

The sunlight filters into forgotten perspective

And the moonlight cries a single tear;

Sapphire wishes that join the raging oceans

Seeing me as I hide away in this never never land

Behind the walls of a shadowed sacrifice

Sleeping beauty

I surrender to night.

*********

I slept in his room that night, that was all we did, just sleep. Sometime after I fell asleep I started dreaming one of those dreams that seem so real. I tried pulling my head back away from them, but the sentinel holding my arms just pushed me back against the bars harder, as yet another sentinel stabbed a spike into the back of my head. I could feel the heat spread slowly, at first it wasn’t so bad, it just felt a little warm. But I knew it was not to last, the burning spike driven deep into the socket in the back of my head burned with an intensity that could not be stopped, until they chose to remove it. Nevertheless I still attempted to reach for it and pull it out, but no mater how hard I tried I couldn’t reach it, I shook my head back and forth in an attempt to shake it loose.

“Wake up!” I felt something touching me. In my fear and pain I lashed out with one fist and felt my hand make contact with something. There was a muttered curse, as I crawled away from this new threat, still trying desperately to get the spike out.

“Shifter, it’s just a dream.” The words made no sense to me and I tried to ignore them.

“Just a dream, that’s all. I’m right here, Shifter, I’m not going anywhere.” Eventually I calmed down enough to act at least a little rationally and looked up to see Roland standing next to the bed, with a slightly bruised looking eye. When he saw that I wasn’t having the nightmare anymore, Roland came over and put his arms around me, hugging me tightly, whispering comforting words in my ear. Finally, my head resting on his shoulder, I fell into a fitful sleep and he carried me back to the bed, where he laid me down gently, before climbing in himself and pulling the covers over both of them. In my sleep I moved towards him and curled herself against him, laying my head on his shoulder. It took him a moment to get settled himself, as he didn’t want to disturb me, but he did eventually manage to get comfortable and after a while he to joined me in sleep.

When he woke up the next morning I was already gone. He went to the mess hall to get some breakfast and found me sitting there talking to AK; I glanced up as he came in, but then blushed and looked away again when I saw who it was. AK looked between the two of us a few times and obviously realised something was going on that he wasn’t in on, he stood up.

“Well my shift is done. See you later, Shifter, Captain.” He nodded and left us. Roland got himself a bowl of food and sat down opposite me. I still refused to meet his eyes and was instead, pretending to study a set of diagrams that AK had given me.

“Sleep well?” He wasn’t quite sure what else to say. I nodded once and mumbled something that he didn’t quit catch.

“What did you say?” He asked.

“I said I’m sorry about last night, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” I said. He sighed quietly to himself, then reached across the table and covered my hand with his, intertwining his fingers with mine.

“You have no need to apologise. Everyone has nightmares sometimes.” He said gently. I finally looked at him and shook my head.

“Yes, everyone else does.” I lowered my head then back up to meet his eyes.

“I should have explained this earlier. I don’t get nightmares one night a week, or every few weeks. I have them every single night.” I tucked a dreadlock behind one ear, but it fell into my face again.

“After Morpheus brought me back to Zion Commander Locke decided that what the machines had done to me wasn’t enough. He had his scientists do tests on me; I have nightmares about that to. Unlike the machines however they did know how to use anaesthetics. But what they were doing was the same. It was only after they realised what was happening that Dozer and Tanks family went to the council and asked them to intervene. They did and I was sent to live with Dozer and Cassie, to all intents and purposes they are my parents, my family. But it took both of them a while to realise that when I had one of my nightmares that they shouldn’t touch me, or come anywhere near me until I calmed down a little. If they did I was likely to attack them and I don’t mean just slapping them away or screaming at them.” I paused again and took a deep breath.

“What the machines did to me, what Locke did to me, it all happened over ten years ago and it hasn’t gone away yet and I don’t think it’s going to any time soon. If you want me then you have to accept me as I am, because like I said I’m not going to change, I’ve tried to forget about it, I’ve tried to pretend it didn’t happen. This is me, what I want you to do is think about what it is you’re getting into, before you jump.” I wasn’t sure if what I had said made all that much sense, but he nodded anyway, so I guess it must have.

“I don’t need to think about it, I’ve already made my decision and I’m not going to change my mind.” He ran a hand over his hair, then covered mine with his again.

“Some say that we do some very strange things when we love someone. I don’t know maybe their right, but I think I’ll take it either way.” He said. I stared at him, somewhat surprised. He smiled at my look.

“You can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m afraid that you’re stuck with me.” He said.

“I…uhh…” For the first time in my life I think I was at a loss for words. He laughed, as he leaned across the table to kiss me.

“I know how you feel.” He whispered.

“Captain, Zion control are looking for our access…oh, sorry.” AK stood in the doorway, looking like he didn’t know whether he wanted to come in or go out.

“Thank you, AK.” Roland said. He turned back to me and grinned.

“Nearly home.” He said. Then he headed out the door.

“So what was that about? And how come I didn’t hear anything about it?” AK asked me. I smiled innocently at him.

“Let me think about that…if you were me would you tell AK what was going on in your life?” I asked sweetly. I had worked with him often enough to know that he was the ships gossip, of course on a ship with not that many people gossip about anyone and anything abounds.

“Now that’s not nice. It might be true, but it’s not nice.” He replied. We felt a slight bump as the ship settled quietly to the ground.

“Where you going?” I asked him. When a ship docked the crew usually went their separate ways, some to family, others to the rooms set aside specifically for ship crews and yet others made their way to the few taverns near the docking bay.

“To get some sleep, then who knows…” He grinned as he headed off in the direction of his quarters to.

“Hey, come on. You don’t want to be left alone here, do you?” Roland spoke from behind me. I shook my head at him.

“No, I was just thinking about some stuff.” I said. He raised an eyebrow, as I joined him he put one arm over my shoulders and pulled me to his side.

“Like what?” He questioned.

“Doesn’t really matter.” I mumbled. How we can let a moment in time shape our whole lives, I thought.

“Hey, I have to go speak with Commander Locke about something.” He said. I pretended not to notice the tightening of his jaw, or the way his eyes narrowed when he mentioned Locke, instead I just nodded.

“Ok, if you want I’ll be done in Cass’s place. You know where that is right?” I asked. He shook his head and I gave him directions.

“I’ll be down as soon as I’m finished, okay?” He said. I nodded and we both went our separate ways. I didn’t have to go down that far, before I opened the door and was almost immediately hit by two stampeding kids.

“Shifter! Mom, she’s here!” Strafe yelled. I laughed as I bent to grab him up.

“I missed you to bro.” I said.

“Did you miss me?” Jade asked.

“Always, not quite the same without either of you around.” I smiled down at her and she grinned up at me.

“Hey have you lost another tooth? What did the fairy bring for that?” I asked. She smiled even wider.

“Shifter, it’s good to have you home.” Cass’s voice interrupted us. And I turned to hug her.

“It’s good to be home.” I said. We stepped apart, and I could see her looking closely at me.

“Ok, kids. Dinner will be ready in half an hour, go play until then.” She said. With a great deal of grumbling and sighing, the two left. She pointed towards the table and we sat down.

“So how was your first stint?” She asked.

“It’s good, harder than I expected, but good. And before you have a chance to ask, yes they treat me nicely enough.” I said.

“I wasn’t about to ask that.” She laughed as she said. Then she raised one eyebrow.

“So who is it? AK? Mauser?” She asked. I blushed and looked away from her.

“Who is who?”

“You can’t fool me, I can see it on your face. You have the look of someone who’s in love. So who is he?”

“Uhh…Roland.” I mumbled his name, but couldn’t help smiling as I said it.

“The captain? Isn’t he a little…well old for you?”

“Yes the captain, and since when does age have anything to do with this? Weren’t you the one that told me you don’t choose who you love?” I raised one eyebrow questioningly. She frowned slightly.

“That’s besides the point. Love has nothing to do with it.”

“Come on Cass, what is it you’re really saying?”

“How can you love him? You’ve known him for no more than three months and you think you love him?"

“No, I know I do, and I know you understand what I mean. Let me put it this way, Cass. When I’m around him I feel safe, like nothing can hurt me. When I think of him I can’t help the smile that I can feel on my face, and at the risk of sounding like I’ve gone lovesick in my head, I feel warm inside and it’s a warmth that can’t be driven away by any coldness. How long did it take for you to realise that you loved Dozer?” I smiled when I realised that I had finally gotten through to her.

“You can’t protect me from everything, Cass. Eventually I’m going to have to grow up and make decisions for myself. And this is one decision I know I’m not going to regret.” There was a knock at the door as I finished and Cass went to answer it. When she saw who it was she didn’t look very happy, but she invited him in anyway. Then she looked at me.

“Can you go and get Strafe and Jade for dinner, Shifter?” She asked. Inwardly I groaned, I knew what she wanted me gone for. Nevertheless I nodded as I headed out the door, pausing to lay one hand on Roland’s shoulder as I past.

“What do you want from her?” Cass asked.

“Nothing, except to be a part of her life. As I’m sure she wishes to be a part of mine.” He replied.

“She’s almost ten years younger than you. Are you some kind of cradle snatcher?”

“No, I love her. I want to be with her more than anything.”

“She’s had to put up with enough shit in her life already. You hurt her you’ll have me to deal with and make no mistake I’ll make sure that you regret it.”

“I have no intention of hurting her, or letting her be hurt. Maybe you think that it’s to soon to say this about her, but I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I hope she feels the same way.”

“She does, and you better not hurt her, Roland. She doesn’t need anymore pain.”

“Yes, I know. She told me all about her past already.” Roland said. The door creaked open again and Shifter came in carrying Jade and Strafe was hanging off her legs.

“So did Roland pass the test?” Shifter asked. Cass and Roland looked at each other, then Cass laughed.

“Yes, he passed. Kids go wash up, dinner’s ready. You two will be staying won’t you?” She asked. Shifter glanced at Roland and then she nodded.

“Sure. You’re cooking is better than mine.” She answered.

Warning: Mention of rape and explicit sex.

Oh yeah and before I forget again, Cass’s kids belong to whoever made them up but the names Strafe and Jade are mine.

I sat back in the chair; I had never felt like this before. I knew that Cass wasn’t so upset about me and Roland being together, but I don’t think she wanted us to see that. Finally though the meal ended and Cass went to put Strafe and Jade to bed, I hadn’t realised how late it was and I was not sure whether I should stay here, in my old room, or go with Roland to one of the quarters for ships crews. Roland glanced at me, and I knew that he knew what I was thinking.

“It’s okay if you want to stay here, I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want yet.” He said. I shook my head once.

“That’s not it. It’s something else, I-” I broke off as Cass rejoined us.

“How long is the Hammer going to be docked for?” Cass asked.

“A few days. The crew need a break.” Roland replied. He stood up and grabbed his bag, then looked back at Cass.

“The meal was great, Cass. But I really need to get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow, Shifter.” He bent to kiss me and then walked out the door. Cass sat back down in the chair and stared at I until I finally met her eyes.

“What?” I asked, a little defensively. Cass shook her head and stood up.

“You just spent an hour convincing me that you loved him and then you let him leave here on his own. Why didn’t you go with him?”

“Because I…” I never finished my question, instead snatching up my bag and ran out the door, then stuck my head back around the door.

“Thanks, Cass.” I said, before dashing out again. Moments later I was outside his door, I wasn’t sure what to do so I just knocked, the door opened and when he saw that it was me, he smiled.

“Shifter, I’m glad you came up here.” He said, and he did sound genuinely happy that I had come here. Not trusting myself to speak I just nodded. He pulled the door open wider and gestured me inside. The quarters were pretty spare, consisting of a small kitchen/eating/sitting area and a door in the back, which presumably led back into the bedroom and bathroom. I put my bag in one of the chairs and then sat down in it, he sat on the small couch, and I looked around the room. That’s my problem you see, if there’s something bothering me I don’t want to talk about it, instead I’ll pretend that nothing is wrong. But of course Roland saw past that.

“What is it?” He asked. *Why does most of my life consist of questions I’d rather not answer?* I thought.

“Nothing.” I mumbled. He of course wasn’t fooled for a second; he just raised one eyebrow and waited for me to tell him what was really going on.

“You wouldn’t understand.” I whispered. He shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe not, but how can you know that for sure unless you tell me what it is?” He said simply. I sighed and my shoulders slumped.

“People who are together always seem to want to…” I blushed fiercely, but he seemed to understand what I meant because he nodded. I didn’t want to look him in the eyes, so instead I stared at his chest.

“You already know what the machines did to me…that they raped me.” I said. He nodded again.

“Well everyone else seems to want to do it, but I’m not sure if I can. I’m sorry, what they did to me back then makes me fear and question everything I do in live now. And I don’t know if I can do that, not yet.” And finally I did look up at his face, instead of seeing the disappointed, even angry look that I expected I saw sadness. He came over to me and sat down on the armrest of the chair, he took both my hands in his.

“I can’t say that I blame you. And I’m not going to say that I understand how it feels, because I don’t. What I do want you to know is that I do love you and I would never hurt you like they did.” He said. I leaned against him and he draped one arm over my shoulder. After a while I stood up.

“How about we get some sleep?” I suggested. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but he joined me anyway. We climbed into the; what was supposed to be a double/king size bed, but looked more like a slightly larger than normal single bed. He fell asleep before I did; I lay on my back staring up at the ceiling. I wish I could have told Roland what he probably wanted to hear, but I couldn’t, I turned over on my stomach and punched the pillow in frustration, before burying falling on top of it. *Why me? What did I do to deserve this? * I thought. I lay back down on my side, facing Roland and buried my face in his chest, I could smell him. But after a moment I realized that I probably wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, I sat up on the edge of the bed. Maybe this was a mistake, I thought. I didn’t know what I was trying to do.

“Can’t sleep?” Rolands sleepy voice interrupted my thoughts. I nodded, but didn’t say anything or turn to look at him. He reached his hands to my shoulders and I leaned back into his massaging hands.

“It’s not as bad as you think it is. The first time with a new person is always difficult.” He murmured into her hair.

“You know I want you. Don’t you want me?”

“It’s isn’t that, Roland. But I…” She was cut off as he turned her face to his and kissed her hard on the lips.

“No…I…Roland, I don’t want to do this now. I told you.” The words were barely a whisper.

“Who said I was Roland?” A newer, mechanical sounding voice asked. She jerked away, staring in horror; metallic tentacles shot out and caught her arms, pulling her back to the sentinel. She fought against it, beating her fists against its metal skin, to no avail.

“Stop it!” My voice was filled with panic, just like it used to be when I was a child, fighting against a tormentor who was stronger and faster than me. Ignoring my pleas for mercy, the sentinel forced my legs open and ripped at my sleep pants. I wriggled against him, trying desperately to get away. Its tentacles groped at me, shoving their way inside me.

“Let me go!” My voice was choked in terror. I hit it again and again with my fists, until my knuckles were bloodied, but it kept ramming its tentacle into me…and my eyes snapped open, to stare up into the eye of Roland, who I scooted away from. I wanted to believe that this was the real Roland and not some machine that would suddenly change on me again, I could see by the worry on his face that he didn’t know what was going on.

“Another nightmare?” He asked gently, I glared at him.

“You know it was, you were there.” I ground out.

“What…?” He had a clear look of confusion on his face now.

“What happened?” He didn’t move any closer to me, but rather kept his distance.

“You know what happened, you were fuc…you weren’t were you? Shit.” I laid my head on my updrawn knees. Shit, how the hell am I supposed to be able to tell what’s real and what isn’t? I thought.

“What…? I don’t understand, Shifter I wasn’t what?” He looked genuinely confused now.

“Nothing. It’s not important, just a worse than usual nightmare that’s all. I’ll be fine.” I tried to smile at him, but somehow I didn’t quite make it.

“If it bothered you that much then it’s not nothing.” He said.

“Look if you don’t want to talk about it then I won’t push you, but I think that it involves me in some way, am I right?” I nodded slowly, refusing to meet his eyes. He just waited for me to continue.

“You and me we were kissing and then you turned into a sentinel and you…” I trailed off, but he understood what I wasn’t saying. I crawled across the bed towards him and laid my head down in his lap, I could feel him curling his fingers in my hair. After a moment I sat up and pulled myself closer to him kissing him, but he pulled back.

“What are you doing?” He asked, somewhat surprised.

“What does it look like? I want you, Roland and I refuse to live my life as the machines would have me.” I replied. I saw his jaw clench tightly and he looked away then back at me.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

“More than anything. You don’t want to?”

“I didn’t say that, I just want to be sure that you’re not doing something because you’re worried about what I or anyone else will think.” He said quietly.

“I am sure.” I kissed him again, harder than before. Almost tentatively his hand reached up to cup my breast in his hand, the other hand pulling my face closer to his.

“Wait, wait.” I said. He almost didn’t catch my words, and reluctantly he pulled back.

“What is it?” He asked. I blushed, not quite knowing how to reply. Be honest with him, a small voice said.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I…” I didn’t know how to finish. He smiled at me.

“Don’t worry. Let me show you that this doesn’t have to hurt.” He said. My breath caught in my throat and I nodded.

“Okay.” I whispered. His grabbed the bottom of my sleep shirt and pulled it over my head, revealing my breasts, he tossed the shirt aside and his hand went back to my breast this time he gripped my nipple between his fingers and squeezed it lightly, sending a bolt of pleasure through me. He removed his hand and took my nipple into his mouth and started sucking slowly. His hand moved lower and he untied the string in my pants.

“Lie back.” He instructed softly. I lay back, unsure of what he was going to do; he pulled the pants off me. He brought his lips back to mine for a quick kiss, I could feel his hand moving down my stomach and between my legs, and I stiffened slightly at this intrusion.

NOTE FROM THE MODERATOR: This section has been put in spoilers for sexual content. If you do not think you should be reading this section, do not highlight. ~Captain REX~

Spoiler:
“Relax. I won’t hurt you.” Roland whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to, but it wasn’t easy. He pulled back from me and pulled off his own shirt and then his pants, then he started trailing his lips down my body, stopping to suck each nipple into his mouth on his downward journey, sending a tingling feeling through my body. I arched my back against him, begging for more, but he continued moving down and he finally reached his destination, his hands held my hips, as he slowly started to kiss me down there, then his mouth reached my clit, which he started sucking. Sending ripples of pleasure through me, he continued doing that for what felt like a very long time, then I felt his tongue enter me and I almost jerked right off the bed with the sensation, but his hands held me down, he drove his tongue in and out slowly at first and then started picking up speed. I writhed beneath his hands, until I thought I could take no more. He sat back on his knees, then leaned down bringing his lips to mine and I could taste myself on his lips, I could still feel the aftereffects tingling throughout me. For a moment it seemed as though he was suspended over me, then he entered me slowly. I cried out in pain, but after a while it didn’t hurt so much, and I even started to enjoy the feeling. He started moving slowly at first and then he started thrusting into me a little faster, and the feeling of pleasure increased with each thrust of his body. I started to move with his rhythm and soon we were moving as if we were one, until finally with one final thrust we finally came together and he collapsed on top of me, to roll off and lie next to me. Both our breathing was ragged, he turned to face me and I smiled at him.

“I didn’t know it could be like that, thank you.” I whispered. Sharing the feeling of bliss, he smiled back at me and I moved closer to him, curling up in his arms. We fell asleep in each others arms.

I struggled to free myself from the twin grasp of Strafe and Jade.

“Guys come on, you don’t want the Hammer to leave without me, do you?” I asked, trying to keep a straight face, but not really doing a good job of it.

“Yes we do.” Jade said. She stared up at me with wide eyes, her lip trembling slightly. I crouched down in front of her.

“Aww, Jade come on don’t cry. I’ll be back again in a few weeks, and I’ll spend time with you then.” I said. She shook her head.

“But you said that you were going to be here for a few days. You promised.” She cried.

“I know what I said, Jade, but sometimes things change that you have no control over and I didn’t promise.” I said.

“Are you going to leave us like daddy did?” She whispered, I hugged her.

“Not if I can help it. Have I ever lied to you before?” She shook her head; no.

“See? Now you guys look after each other and mom, okay?” Strafe finally let my legs go, and struck a heroic pose, he was not even five yet and already he was unconsciously thinking that he was the ‘man’ of the family. Like some forgotten hero out of an old movie, I grabbed up my bag and headed out the door. Roland stood waiting for me outside, he shifter his bag to his other shoulder and pulled me against his side as we moved down the walkway.

“We’ll be back in a few weeks.” He said.

“I know, it’s just that well…Jade seems to think that I’m going to die like Dozer. I tried telling her I wasn’t going to, but I don’t think she believed me.” I said.

“Hmm…I do believe she just might like; one might even say that she loves you.” His eyes glinted with laughter. I punched him lightly in the arm, I jerked forward breaking his grip as someone slammed into me from behind.

“Oops, sorry, Shifter.” AK’s said.

“No, problem.” I said. He handed a disc to Roland.

“Here it is, Captain.”

“What’s that?” I asked curiously.

“Another hacker that we’re going to remove from the Matrix. Her name is Reactor, she’s fifteen and she seems to know something about the world she thinks is real.” AK replied.

“Is she any good?”

“Not really, but she does know a lot more than she seems to let on, about the Matrix I mean.” We had finally reached the landing platform where the Hammer was docked. Mauser and Colt were loading a few last items on board. Roland let AK move away from us but he held me back.

“I’ve been thinking. Do you mind if they know about us?” He asked quietly, making sure no one could overhear our conversation.

“Nope, if I had my way the whole of the fleet would know.” I grinned up at him.

“Me to.” He said.

“I’ll just go and put this in your room, then go help AK.” I said. He went over to speak to Colt and Mauser.

“Our room.” He corrected. He went over to speak to Colt and Mauser. I rolled my eyes and walked off, after dropping my bag of in ‘our’ room I headed for the main deck.

“Besides it’s not like I have any choice, AK already knows about us.” I laughed at the look on his face. He rolled his eyes and grimaced.

“I should have known.” He chuckled quietly. Then he went over to talk to Mauser and Colt, I went on into the ship and after dropping my bag off in Rolands room; I suppose I should start thinking of it as our room now, after which I joined AK on the main deck. We still had a lot of work to do if we were going to get Reactor out it would probably mean a good number of trips into the Matrix for some of the crew, which meant that we had to make sure everything was working perfectly before they went in. AK looked up as I came in, holding out one of the headsets for me.

“So, I see you and our captain have finally decided not to hide it.” He said. I grabbed the headset and put it around my neck.

“That depends on what you mean by ‘hiding it’.” I said. He shook his head and let out a mock groan.

“You know what I mean. Do I have to spell it out?”

“Spell what out?” Maggie had just entered; Colt and Mauser just behind her. AK grinned mischievously; I just shook my head and continued checking the chairs.

“Captain Roland and Shifter.” He said, in an almost singsong tone. There was a long silence.

“AK! Captain Roland and Shifter what?” Maggie finally said in exasperation.

“Is everyone on this ship dense?” AK asked of no one in particular.

“They - Roland and Shifter are together.” The last word was drawn out so that there was no mistaking his meaning. Three heads swivelled to stare at me and I blushed under their scrutinising stares.

“I wonder how many ways I can kill a person and which ones the most painful?” I said to myself. Then turned a raised eyebrow on AK, he just smiled back and shrugged his shoulders as if he was not guilty. I knew they were going to find out, I just didn’t think that it would have been this soon.

“Yeah, but I don’t know any of the details, I’d surely like to know if they did the deed or not.” AK turned to me questioningly. Suddenly everyone else started looking busy.

“Oh, and what exactly is ‘the deed’, AK?” I asked innocently.

“Yes, please, AK. Explain to us all what you mean by ‘the deed’.” Roland said, from behind AK. AK closed his eyes briefly, then swung the chair around to face his captain. Mauser and Colt made a quick escape and I joined Maggie on the other side of the deck, helping to pack the emergency first-aid kit here.

“Nice one.” She whispered. I grinned at her. We could still hear the conversation; or rather the lecture that Roland was giving to AK.

“I don’t care what reasons you have, AK, what a person does in their own time is their business, not yours. Do you understand me?” Roland snapped, although not loud enough that his voice would carry very far. We couldn’t hear AK’s response.

“Good. This better not happen again.” He had barely left when Maggie and I collapsed in laughter. AK glared at us.

“You knew he was there.” He accused. I stood up gasping for air, but still grinning.

“Of course I did and it was fun to.” I said.

“You walked me right into that.” He said.

“No, AK your mouth walked you into that.”

“I know, I know don’t rub it in.” AK started working on one of the other chairs, he glanced up at me as I came over.

“Can you go down to the store and get another one of these?” He held up a small device that he had taken from one of the chairs. I nodded and headed back down the ladder again. The store was kept dark and although it had lights I was only going to be here for a moment so I brought a torch with me instead to find what I was looking for. When I finally found it and was ready to go back up again I heard a noise behind me, spinning around so fast I almost tripped.

“Oh, thank you very much, Drakis. A heart attack is just what I always wanted.” I said sarcastically.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to. I was just hoping that…well, AK doesn’t need that for a while yet, we could have a little fun, just you and me.” He said. He gave me a grin that I didn’t like.

“Can’t, you know what AK’s like, if I don’t get this to him he’ll have my head.” I said.

“Yeah, right. AK would probably just come down here to get it himself if you didn’t come back straightaway. But we can be done before he does that, right?” He started moving closer to me. I hurried to the door, but Drakis moved faster than me, catching my arm.

“Aww come on, a little fun never hurt anyone. You might even enjoy it.” He said. Grinning down at me, he pulled me back. I jerked out from under his hand and ran for the door.

“Get back here!” He snarled. I tripped trying to get away from him and the torch went bouncing out of my hand, casting eerie shadows throughout the storeroom. I couldn’t make it to my feet fast enough before he was on me, dragging me up by the arm.

“Dammit! Everyone thinks there too good for me. Well they’re wrong, all of them!” He growled. Shit, I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this one, I turned my head slightly towards the door.

“AK!” I yelled. Drakis smashed me with his fist and I went down.

“Shut up, you *****. Now we can either do this the easy way or the hard way, doesn’t matter if you don’t want it, I’ll still do what I want with you.” He smashed me again in the mouth and I spat blood.

“Get up!” He yelled angrily, kicking me in the stomach a few times. Grabbing me by my hair and yanking me to my feet.

“I will get what I want.” His voice was low and dangerous. I drew back my foot and kicked him as hard as I could in the shin, he yelped in pain and I stumbled away from him, but my equilibrium was way off and about all I managed was to go in a circle, before he grabbed me again

“I thought you would be reasonable about this, but apparently I was wrong. I have a better plan, I think I’ll just kill you instead” I felt his fingers tighten around my throat, and I started to claw at his hands, trying to loosen his grip. He squeezed tighter.

“Got it, captain. I’ll be right up as soon as I put this in here.” Colt’s voice came through the door. He pushed against it from the other side and moving backwards he dragged something into the room. My vision started turning black, Colt eventually turned around. For a moment he stood frozen, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. The he launched himself at Drakis and yanked his hands away from my throat; I fell to the floor, gasping for air for a few minutes before I passed out, I think. I woke up to find Colt bending over me, in my fear I skittered away from him, like some kind of frightened animal.

“It’s okay. He’s gone.” Colt said. His words didn’t seem to penetrate my mind and I jumped when a voice spoke from the doorway.

“Colt, what are you doing. The captain wants you in the cockpit now.” Maggie spoke from behind him. Then she saw me, sitting on the floor.

“What the hell happened in here?” She asked incredulously.

“Drakis. He attacked her then I came in and caught him he ran off.” Colt replied. Maggie came over and sat on the floor next to me.

“You’d better tell the captain. I’ll get her to the infirmary.” She said. Colt nodded and hurried off; Maggie turned back to me.

“You okay to walk?” I nodded and stood up slowly. She walked alongside me until we made it to the infirmary, where she started cleaning my smashed in face.

“Did he hurt you?” She asked.

“You’re cleaning my face because he used me as a punching bag and asking me that question?” I asked quietly. She stopped her wiping for a moment.

“I meant did he rape you?” She said.

“Then the answer is no.” I replied.

((Second person pov, or whatever the hell it’s called.))

Colt finally made it to the main deck, as he entered Roland turned to him a frown on his face.

“Where have you been, Colt? Zion control has been onto us already, I had to take off so another ship could land. Now get up to the cockpit and get us out of here.” He ordered.

“Sorry, captain. I was finishing in the storeroom when I saw Drakis attacking-” he was cut off when AK interrupted him.

“Shifter.” He whispered. Roland spun to face him.

“What?!”

“Shifter, I sent her down…” But Roland was already moving for the ladder.

((Shifters POV))

Maggie had just cleaned off the last of the blood on my face and given me some sort of sedative I was still lying on the bed, curled under a blanket and trying to ignore the pain in my stomach, when Roland came in.

“What happened? Are you alright?” He said, coming straight over to me. I mumbled something sleepily; the last thing I remember is him bending down to kiss my forehead.

I woke up the next morning and found Roland sat next to the bed and he had drifted off at some stage. I just lay there for a while watching him, I wasn’t sure if I should wake him or not, but the decision was taken away from me as he blinked his eyes open. When he saw me looking at him a look of relief came over his face.

“Thank God. I was beginning to think that you were going to sleep all day.” He said. I moved to sit up and a pain shot through my body, I fell back with a groan. Instantly he was on his feet next to me, one hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t move, Maggie said you need to rest for a few days. How are you feeling?”

“Like someone drove truck rolled over me, then backed up and did it again a few times.” I replied. He raised one eyebrow at that, prehaps he was surprised that I could laugh at this. Well it was either laugh at it or go mad; the choice wasn’t all that hard.

“Did you get Drakis?” He froze when I said that, then shook his head.

“No, we sent word to Zion, but nothing yet. I don’t think he’s still on board.” He answered. Was he saying that just to make me feel safe? No, I decided. I thought. Roland wasn’t the kind to leave anything to chance. The moment he found out what had happened he would have ordered a complete search of the ship.

“Were you here all the time I was asleep?” I asked him curiously. He nodded.

“Well most of the time, yes.” He replied, as he brought a tray with a bowl of food over to me.

“Why?” I said, picking up the spork. He gave me a strange look

“I would have thought that was obvious by now. But I don’t think I’ve told you today yet. Shifter I love you.” He said.

“Oh…I love you to, Roland.” I mumbled. I had never been good at expressing love or even a vague likeness for people; before now that is. While the words had been…difficult to get out, that was not to say that I didn’t mean them

“How long have I been here asleep for?” I asked.

“Two days. Don’t worry, AK can handle operating on his own until you’re better.” He said, giving me a stern look, as if to say ‘I’ll sit on you and make sure you get that rest, if that’s what it takes’.

“That isn’t what I meant. I not being able to do stuff, it’s boring.” I said, in a slightly whiny voice. The less time I had to think about my life, the better. Roland laughed, as he sat down on the bed next to me.

“I’m sure we can think of something to pass the time.” He winked at me and I looked away for a moment, unsure of how to respond to that. I knew what he had meant by that comment and I certainly looked forward to my days of recuperation.

This chappie (I would say whole fic but I’d be lying) is for my beta reader Jenny, you may notice her little appearance in this chapter.

I got of the top of the ladder on the main deck. Six days after being attacked by Drakis, I couldn’t stand doing nothing all day.

“Ready to get back to it?” AK greeted me.

“Hell yes. What have we got?” I asked him as I grabbed a headset.

“There in there trying to make contact with Reactor. Going good so far.” He turned to look at me and his eye widened.

“Jesus, you look like shit.”

“Thanks AK. I wouldn’t talk if I were you, you’re not that great looking yourself.” I shot back.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve been doing your job as well as my own, you’d look like shit to.” He said.

“Uhh…I thought I already did? Well at least this new girl will know who the operators are, because we both look like something that was dragged along behind the ship for a few miles.” I grinned at him. He snorted with laughter.

“Ah, yes but we’re the best looking operators.”

“Right at this moment? Jeez, the other operators in the fleet must be fugly. Now get out of my chair and get lost, or better yet go get some sleep.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He handed me the headset and jumped down of the seat.

“I shall see you some time next week.” He gave a mock salute and left.

“I missed you so much, baby.” I said half jokingly to the monitors. AK had left some notes for me, about what was going on. Apparently the Nebachadnezzar had joined us in our search for Reactor. The phone rang in my headset.

“Operator.” I said.

“Shifter? Where’s AK?” Roland asked.

“If he has any sense he’s probably sleeping.” There was silence for a few moments.

“You’re not well enough-”

“Do we really have time for this now? I am going to assume that you rang me for some other reason than to tell me I can’t work. What do you need?” I asked. Yeah, I’m probably going to get in a little trouble for that.

“An exit.” He said. I tapped away at a few keys, bringing up maps of where he and the others were.

“Only exit near you is a videoshop called ‘Blockbusters’, turn around and go back the way you just came, it’s on your left.” I said.

“Got it.” He snapped and hung up the phone.

((Second person POV, or (once again) whatever it’s called.))

Roland ran down the street, Maggie close on his heels and Colt bringing up the rear. They finally got to the videoshop, it’s front was a bright, almost blinding yellow. He pushed the door open, there were no customers in the shop, only one staff member stood behind a counter, a woman with light brown hair and she had a cross eyed appearance. Roland could hear the phone ringing as he approached the counter, the woman moved off to answer it and he pulled out a gun from inside his jacket.

“I’m sure you don’t mind if we answer that.” He said. The woman stared at the gun in his hand and nodded slowly.

“Sure go ahead. Please don’t shoot me.” She said. Roland grimaced at the sound of her deep nasal, gravelly voice.

“Colt, you first.” He said over his shoulder, keeping the gun on the woman. Colt leaped over the counter and grabbed the phone, pressing it to his ear and then he was gone. Maggie hung the phone back on the hook and waited for it to ring again. When the phone in Rolands pocket started ringing, he felt around inside and pulled the phone out, flipping it open.

“What is it, Shifter?” He asked.

“Agents, Captain. They are in your vicinity.” The phone behind the counter rang again and Maggie picked it up. Then Roland moved behind the counter. The phone started ringing again, and he was about to pick it up, but turned back to the woman.

“Thank you…” He said.

“Jennifer, my name is Jennifer Ray. Please don’t hurt me, I’m to young and sexy to die!” She begged.

“I’m not going to hurt you Jennifer Ray. I wanted to say thank you.” He said.

“Thank God.” She whispered.

((Shifters POV))

“What the hell is he doing?” Colt asked incredulously. Shifter shrugged and turned back to her monitors.

“Pick it up, Roland, before she turns pick the damn thing up.” She whispered. And then he did it; Maggie pulled the spike out of his head. He stood up and glared at me.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He snapped. I met his look squarely.

“I need a break from doing nothing. Have you seen AK lately? He looks like crap because he’s doing the job of two people.” I replied. He sighed, then seemed to notice that we had an audience, he gestured for me to follow him.

“Do you seriously expect me to believe that you only did this to give AK a break?” He asked.

“No, I don’t. But I already told you that I tired of sitting around and having nothing but the walls of our quarter’s to stare at. I needed to get out of there, if just for a little while. Look, I know that we’re going to have differences of opinion, especially now that we’re together. If I was anyone else on this ship you’d probably ask me if I was sure I was up to working and if I said yes you’d just tell me to keep an eye on myself and take a break if I needed it. But instead you’re jumping down my throat. I might come to regret saying this, but do you think that when we’re both ‘on duty’ you could treat me the same as you do any of the others?” I said. He sighed and lowered his head.

“Am I not allowed to treat you any differently then?”

“Not when the others start noticing it. Come on, Roland it won’t be that hard. Ill even help by referring to you only as ‘Captain’ when we’re working.” He laughed at that.

“What was the story with that girl in the videoshop?” I asked, my eyes narrowing.

“I was just thanking her that’s all, at least she didn’t turn into an agent and I’d have had to kill her.” He shrugged as he said it

“Are you sure that’s all it was?” I asked.

“You’re not jealous are you?” He said.

“No…well maybe a little. I saw her code and you were hanging around her when it really wasn’t safe to do that. You must have had some reason.” I said. He shrugged again.

“Not really. Hey come on, you have nothing to worry about. I love your, remember?”

“Yeah, it’s just that. I found out that we were working with the Nebachadnezzar and well Morpheus is not going to be happy when he finds out.”

“About us, you mean?” He asked. I nodded.

“He has this idea that he has the right to tell me what to do with my life.” I muttered.

“Hmm…we’ll just mention ‘the one’ and he’ll forget all about us.” He grinned down at me as he pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek.

“Oh, yeah like it’s going to be that easy. No he’s gonna stick his nose in and tell us that we’re not right for each other and then he’ll come with all sort of shitty reasons why.”

“If everyone approved of what everyone else did, then the world would be very boring, wouldn’t it? Don’t worry we’ll deal with him when the time comes to do so.”

The following day after we had met up with the Nebachadnezzar and dropped of Mauser, who was going to help Dozer with something. Today we were going to try and bring out Reactor, I was down in the mess hall eating breakfast before I went up to join AK. I had never seen an unplugging before, I had of course learnt the basics of unplugging while I had been in training, but I had a feeling that the real thing was somewhat different. I tossed my bowl in the general direction of the sink and headed up to the main deck, halfway there I heard the sound of a scuffle.

“Where the hell did you come from?” I could hear AK’s voice. There was no answering reply only the loud whine of an EMP gun, I heard AK scream. What the ****? I thought. I quickened my pace; not even thinking about what someone with an EMP gun is going to do to me. I climbed up as quickly and as quietly as I could, AK lay on the floor unconscious, I couldn’t see whoever it was that had attacked him. I stayed near the ladder and grabbed one of the metal bars that always seem to be lying around here.

“I’m sorry, Captain, AK can’t come to the phone right now, he’s a little tired.” Drakis said. I stumbled backwards, my mind echoing the words that AK had said just a moment before.

((second person POV))

The phone rang on a few times and Roland was beginning to get worried, when someone finally answered.

““I’m sorry, Captain, AK can’t come to the phone right now, he’s a little tired.” Drakis’ voice spoke in his ear. Roland froze, what the hell was going on?

“What have you done to him?” He snapped.

“Oh, don’t worry. He’s still alive…for now. As for your little girlfriend I’m going to have some fun with her.” Drakis said.

“If you-” Roland started.

“If I what? And what are you going to do about it anyway? She’s here with me and you’re stuck in there.” He paused.

“Well here she is now, it’s been nice talking to you, Captain. We’ll do it again soon, yes?” The phone was hung up.

((Shifter POV))

“Oh there you are.” He said, in a calm voice. He pointed the EMP gun at me and fired, I leaped out of the way just in time and the bright blue light went streaming past me. I took on a defensive stance, but what the hell could I do against him while he had that gun? But this time instead of firing at me he swung the but of it at my face, I pulled my head back, just enough that it didn’t crack my skull open. Blood streamed down into my eyes from the cut that had opened just above my eyebrows, I moved backwards into the shadows and I couldn’t believe when he fell for that. He ran at me, swinging the gun like a club, at the last moment I side-stepped and whacked him in his ribs with the bar and he went down, but he was back on his feet almost before I had the chance to get a good grip on the bar. This time when I swung it at him I could feel the vibrations run up my arms, he didn’t get up and when I felt for a pulse I found one, I quickly bond his hands together. Then I went to check on AK, who was just coming round he had a burn on his back from the EMP gun. He looked around blearily for a moment, and then he saw Drakis tied up.

“You stopped him.” He said.

“No need to sound so surprised.” I smiled at him. Actually there was, I didn’t know that I was going to stop him either, all I knew was that I wasn’t going to let him do anything to me. I helped him to the monitors and then went to get the first aid kit.

“It’s going to be a fairly bad patch job, never did stick around for the first aid training.” I told him. He hissed with pain when I tried cleaning it.

“Or we can wait for Maggie if you’d prefer. With my luck it’ll end up worse than it is already is.” I grimaced at the wound.

“Yeah and after she’s done with me she can stitch you up.” He said.

“Huh?” I said in confusion. He pointed at my forehead, I touched it and hissed in pain, my fingers came away sticky with my own blood. I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

“Great, the Hammer the largest ship in the fleet can’t do it’s job properly because it’s operators are seriously trying to outdo themselves by seeing who can spend the most time in the infirmary.” I laughed and was joined by AK. It took us a few moments to get control of ourselves and when we did we remembered those that were in the Matrix.

“You’d better ring them. He,” I pointed at Drakis, “answered the phone just after I got here. Rol…Captain Roland knows something happened.” I said. He nodded and quickly dialled in the number, the phone was answered almost immediately.

“What have you done to them?!” Rolands voice came through the headset around my neck. I stared at AK and we both giggled, it wasn’t really funny, but I guess we were still a little tense over what happened.

“Not much, Captain. Shifter kicked his ass.” AK replied. There was an almost audible sigh of relief from the other end.

“Are you two okay?” Roland asked. AK looked down at himself then over at me and rolled his eyes.

“Just a few scratches, Captain you know how it is. We’re ready to pull you guys out now.”

“She’s just taken the pill. You got a lock yet?” Roland asked, putting his obvious worry aside to get the job done. AK turned his dark eyes on me.

“And this is how it’s done. A small type of crosshair appeared on the monitor in front of him, and it quickly tracked through what looked like a long winding tunnel.

“Got her, Captain.” AK said. I got the co-ordinates of him and went to the cockpit, I wasn’t the greatest pilot, but I could fly the ship without crashing it into something until Colt got back out. I sat down at the controls and started up the engines. A few moments later Colt replaced me and I went back down to the main deck where AK was just pulling Maggie out, then Roland. I could see the concern he had for me in his eye, which wasn’t quite alleviated by my blood smeared face. Maggie took one look at AK and me and her lips quirked upward slightly.

“Are you two having some sort of competition to see who gets to spend the most time with me?” She asked lightly. AK and I glanced at each other and broke down in laughter, not an easy thing to do when you feel like you’ve been through the mill. Roland and Maggie stared at as if we had just lost our minds.

“I presume you two are no longer needed to operate up here now, so get yourselves down to the infirmary.” She continued.

“Yes, mommy.” I mumbled contritely. AK laughed again.

“Ow! Don’t do that to me.” He said.

“I didn’t touch you. It’s not my fault someone tried to turn you into a kebab, is it?”

“No, it’s you’re fault that I-”

“Infirmary! Now!” Maggie snapped. She herded is out the door as if we were wayward children, glancing exasperatedly over her shoulder at Roland.

“See you later.” AK called back. I started laughing again.

“You do realise that you’re acting like a child? I mean I didn’t give you any painkillers, so this must be the way you usually act. Do all men act like children?” I asked.

“I don’t know. It just comes naturally to me.”

“That’s what I thought. Hey, Maggie will you give us sick notes so we don’t have to work for the rest of the day?” I was only joking when I said that. But she took me seriously.

“You could do with it. You’re still not better from the last beating you took.” She replied. AK grinned at the look on my face.

“You just walked right into that one, Shifter.” He said, as he pulled himself up on the table.

“Ahh…shut up, AK. This coming from a guy who makes for lousy target practice?” I grinned back at him.

“What is it with you two?” Maggie asked, as Roland came into the room. We had both been somewhat surprised to learn that we shared the same sense of humour, it may have been warped and a little battered around the edges, but we did still have one. AK and I glanced at each other and immediately our faces turned serious.

“What’s the point, Maggie?” AK asked. I shook my head slightly.

“See, Maggie this is how it is. Working on this ship we could be attacked and killed tomorrow. If we wait until tomorrow to have fun we might be to late, when our time comes then we can say that we had fun.” I added. AK nodded in agreement.

“Okaaay. Captain Roland, would you clean up Shifters face, while I look at AK?” Maggie said. Roland nodded and took the cloth that she handed him.

“You look like someone who’s lost their eyes, you know. A good look for you.” AK said from next to me.

“And I’d love to make a comment about how you look, but my eyelids are beginning to get stuck together and I can’t see you to tell you how you look. But I’m pretty sure you look like shit to.” I shot back.

“Can’t either of you be serious for five minutes?” Maggie asked.

“Of course we could.” AK said.

“But why would we want to?” I added.

“I give up.” Maggie murmured.

“About time.”

“Don’t worry, Shifter. We’ll convert her to our way of thinking. Soon the whole ship will join us in our quest to do the most damage to ourselves.”

“I hate to tell you this now, AK. But I think you’re going insane.”

“Yeah, well you’d know wouldn’t you? Is it fun there?”

“Like being on a constant holiday.” I felt Roland touch the cloth to my eyes and I tried to open my eyes a little, they were not so much stuck together. They felt gritty, like there was something in them.

“You’re both nuts, now be quiet.” Maggie said.

“Hey, Maggie. Thanks for the compliment.” I said cheerfully.

“Ok, ok enough. Both of you. You can continue this later, after we’re finished cleaning you up.” Roland ordered, I could hear the laughter, as well as the concern in his voice.

“You make it sound like we were five year olds who’ve spilt food all over their clothes.” I said.

“Well you are acting like it.” He said.

“AK, started it.

“Did not.”

“Did to.”

“Did not.”

“Did!”

“n’t!”

“Di-”

“Stop it!”

“Sorry, daddy.” I said contritely.

“Sorry, daddy.” AK echoed me. Roland sighed in exasperation, I wondered if he was beginning to regret being with me now?

After that we got out of the infirmary, they were bringing Reactor up. She’d be spending the next few days here while Maggie rebuilt her atrophied muscles. AK headed to his room and I headed to mine where I wanted to lie down before the painkillers Maggie had given me kicked in.

I woke up the next morning to a loud, but not very painful slap to my face. At the noise Roland woke with a start and pushed himself up in the bed.

“D’yo hink you coul’ eemove er ‘and ‘fore ou do ‘at?” My voice came out muffled. He quickly pulled his hand off my face.

“Damn, sorry. Are you okay?” He asked, sitting up.

“Fine. Except for the fact that in the last two days someone dickhead has tried to rape me, then used my head to bounce the butt of an EMP gun off of and then you try to smother me. All in all a good week I think.” I said sarcastically. Yes, I was a bit pissed off. Wouldn’t you be?

“I know. But he’s locked in his room now, under guard and he can’t get out. He’s not going to hurt you anymore.” Roland said. I sighed, as I sat up and hugged him from behind, laying my head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” I said. Why did I always take out my bad tampers on those I loved? I wondered.

“It’s okay, I understand.” He said. He turned his head slightly to look at me.

“Do you really think that you’re ready to start working again?” I had a feeling he wasn’t asking me about operating.

“What do you mean?”

“Be a Matrix jumper again.” He saw the look on my face; he turned around and put his hands on my shoulders.

“I know it’s not something that you like to do, and if you’re not ready to do it then that’s alright.”

“No…no, I’ll probably have to do it eventually, right?” I laughed a little shakily. He knew that I hated the Matrix, that I was afraid of it and I knew that he was only trying to help me to overcome that fear.

“How about you start as soon as we have breakfast? Two hours in the construct and then an hour in the Matrix?” He suggested.

“Yeah, okay.” I said. And we did, he came into the construct with me.

“It’s not that bad, is it?” He asked.

“It’s not the construct I have a problem with, it’s the Matrix.” Indeed there were only a few minutes before we went in there and I could feel my hands shaking slightly. We had spent the first hour in the construct sparring with weapons, now we were going at it hand to hand.

“You ready to go on yet?” He asked.

“No point in putting it of longer than I have to.” I answered. Roland looked up in the direction of the ceiling.

“AK, get us out of here.” He said. Then we were back on the Hammer, AK stood next to Rolands chair.

“Drakis is insisting that you speak to him.” AK said. I pretended I hadn’t heard, but I saw Roland glancing in my direction, then back at AK and Maggie who had just come up on deck.

“Are you okay to wait until later?” He asked me. Oh, great. Get me all freaked out about going into the Matrix and then change the plans on me. I thought.

“Actually I’d prefer to do it now. Maggie can come with me.” I looked in her direction.

“If you don’t mind that is.”

“I’m up for a little alone woman time. It’s hard to come by here.” She said. I smiled my thanks at her. She sat in one of the chairs and waited for AK to plug her in.

“I’ll be in as soon as I’m done with him.” Roland said. I didn’t get the chance to answer him as AK put us in. Maggie looked at me and grinned.

“So where will we go first?” She asked.

“Let’s see what machines think coffee taste like.” I suggested. We came out of the alleyway we were in and headed for a café at the end of the street. We went inside and sat down at one of the tables after ordering coffees. Then sat sipping them slowly, while we talked about stuff. Then something caught my eye.

“What’s that?” I pointed out the window. We could see the code of the Matrix quite clearly, Maggie stood up.

“I don’t know. We’d better get out of here.” She said. We hurried out of the café and back down to the alley where the hardline was. We were both running now, as the code seemed to be taking over the whole street behind us. Maggie tripped and I stopped to help her up and the code caught up with us. It felt like some had stuck their hand inside me and was ripping my stomach out, I screamed and somewhere in the background I could hear Maggie screaming as well.

((Second person POV))

AK stared at the screen uncomprehendingly; the code had gone all weird. He quickly dialled the number of Maggies phone to tell them to get out, but there was no dial tone.

“Shit! Captain, we’ve got a problem up here!” He said over his shoulder to Roland, who had just returned from his talk with Drakis.

“What is it, AK?” Roland asked coming over to join him. AK pointed at the screen that was now blank.

“I don’t know what the hell just happened in the-” he was interrupted by the flatline tone coming from the monitors over Maggie and Shifters chairs.

“Jesus Christ!” Roland breathed. Then the monitors came back on and Maggie and Shifter came back to life.

“What…?” AK said, half to himself. He quickly started searching from Maggie and Shifter in the Matrix.

“Found them…but something’s wrong. They’re not reading like they should.”

“I’m going in after them.” Roland said.

“That might not be a good idea, captain. I don’t know if it will happen again.” AK replied

((Shifters POV))

I woke up in a bed. I don’t know how I got here, or ever where ‘here’ is. I remember having a weird dream I had last night. About being on a ship for weeks on end, eating the same food, talking to the same people whose names were…shit! What the **** were their names? More to the point who the hell am I? I get out of the bed and put on clothes. Even though I still don’t know who I am, some part of me tells me that I don’t like these clothes, short skirts and high heels. As well as piles of the worst looking jewellery I’ve ever seen. The underwear is another matter, I pull a thong out of a drawer and look at it with disgust, what the hell kind of person wears these things? I finally find some clothes that I don’t think I’ll puke all over, a grey tracksuit pants and a black tee shirt. Then I go in search of something that will tell me who I am. I find a purse in the kitchen and ID inside the wallet. Laura Jacobs, it says. No, I’m not. I think. I might not know who the hell I am, but that’s not my name. I stop and think back on that dream again. The people in it had called me…had called me…this wasn’t working, what were their names? The people in my dream…I closed my eyes, thinking hard. Colt, Mauser, AK and…and Roland, remember him? You love him. A little voice whispered. I could picture them now, in my head. Colt always looked serious; he was the pilot, Mauser was tall and dark; he was the engineer, I could see AK’s grinning face as he said something to me, he was the operator and Roland; my Roland, he was captain of our ship the Hammer. Wait a minute? Our ship? That’s not the dream. This is. The voice whispered again. This is the Matrix and you’re stuck here. You came here with Maggie, remember? The Matrix cycle has started again and you and Maggie were caught in the middle of it. I remember Maggie, the Hammers medic, she had red hair. But who was I? Talk to AK. The voice whispered.

“And how the **** am I supposed to do that when he’s on the Hammer and I’m here…wherever here is?” I asked aloud to myself. You know how.

“Great, now I’m talking to myself.” I said. But how the hell was I supposed to ask AK what was happening.

((Second Person POV))

“They're both moving around, captain.” AK said, his eyes glued to the screen.

“Ring them.” Roland ordered.

“Maggie, are you guys okay? I’ve got an exit ready for you.” AK said. Then he winced.

“OW!” He yanked the headset off and rubbed his ears.

“What happened?” Roland asked.

“She told me to stop being a pervert and go **** myself. Then she slammed the phone down.” AK replied.

“Try Shifter.”

“After wha-okay I’m on it.” AK turned back to the screens and pulled his headset back on.

“This time don’t tell her anything, wait for her to speak first.” Roland said. AK nodded as he waited for Shifter to answer.

((Shifters POV))

“Hello.” I said. AK said nothing, just waited like Roland had told him to do.

“Who is this?” Another pause.

“Okay, be that way.” I snapped. I was in no mood for more mind games; I was about to hang up when that voice came back. It’s AK, talk to him, he can get you out of here.

“Fine, then if it will make you shut up.” I said aloud to myself. I put the phone back to my ear.

“I’m going to severely injure you, I’m in no mood for any of your jokes, AK.” I snapped. I could hear an almost collective sigh of relief from the other end.

“Shifter? Thank God, I have an exit ready for you.” He said.

“Shifter? If you say so.” I mumbled. The name did ring a bell, although I was unsure if it was mine.

“Wait what about Maggie? Where is she?” I asked.

“She’s still in there to. She’s in the apartment directly under you.” There was a long pause and then AK came back.

“The captain wants you out now Shifter. I’ve got an exit ready on the ground floor in the foyer.”

“Okay, AK, I’ll be right there.” I said. But not without Maggie, I added silently. I ran from the apartment and down the stairs, I didn’t even knock on the door I just walked right in. Maggie glanced up at my intrusion. She looked like she was about to tell me to get out, then her face seemed to change.

“I know you…Shifter?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Come on we have to get out of here.” I said. She stood up from the table and together we headed for the elevator. As it approached the ground floor I looked at her, she looked as confused as I felt. But as the seconds ticked by I seemed to remember more and more. We came out of the elevator and we could hear the phone ringing. No one was around, which was lucky, what we didn’t need was agents arriving in on top of us.

“You first.” I waved to the phone. She picked it up and pressed it to her ear. I hung it back in the cradle, when it rang again I was ready, I pressed the phone to my ear. And then I felt someone pulling the spike out of the back of my head. I sat up and looked across at Maggie, then at Roland who was standing over me.

“What the hell happened in there?” I asked.

“The Matrix started its cycle again. Everyone inside was given new or updated memories; you two got caught by it. The Matrix tried to reprogram you as well, but as you’re not plugged in it didn’t go the way it was supposed to.” AK replied I rolled my eyes.

“Life on this ship is just one big roller-coaster ride, isn’t it?” I asked.

“You get used to it.” AK grinned.

I knocked on the door of Reactors room.

“What do you want?” A grumpy voice sounded from within. I opened the door and stepped inside.

“It’s time for you to start training, Reactor. I’m Shifter, the other operator.” I said.

“Fine, whatever.” She muttered and came stomping out the door and up to the main deck after me. After plugging her in I sat down at the monitors.

“Alright, enjoy the ride. First of you have to learn operations programs first.” I told her. She grunted in response. Then came the combat programs, karate, judo, ju-jitsu, kick boxing etc etc.

“It’s time for a break. Come on let’s go get some lunch.” I said, as I unplugged her.

“I’m not hungry, I want to keep going.” She said. I shook my head and grinned.

“Yeah, well because I had to be up early this morning to train you I had to skip breakfast and now I’m starving. So I say we eat.” I told her. AK was already there, drinking some coffee and looking like he had just woken up. I got a bowl of food for myself and put it on the table and then went to get some coffee, when I came back to the table I found Reactor eating my food, I looked at AK, who just shrugged. I got another bowl of food for myself and sat down.

“I think there might be something wrong with one of the chairs, it’s not working properly.” I said to AK.

“I know. It’s the power supply on it.” He said. In case of the main power failing in each of the chairs had its own attached power cell, it would give the chair enough power to keep the person using alive for at least a week, if we left them in the Matrix that long.

“Will we have to replace the cell?” I asked him.

“I don’t know. I’ll look over it with you in a while.”

“Replacing them is such a *****.” I groaned.

“Tell me about it. I don’t think we will though, it just looks like a fluc-”

“Where’s my coffee?” Reactor interrupted us. Without even looking at her I pointed at the machine against the wall.

“Shouldn’t be to diff-”

“I want some coffee.” She interrupted again.

“Then go and get some, it’s right over there.” I said.

“You expect me to serve myself?” She asked surprised. AK and I both turned to look at her.

“If you want some badly enough then yes, I do.” I said.

“But…but don’t you realise who I am?! Get me coffee now!” She cried.

“How about you stand up and get some yourself.” I suggested sarcastically.

“You two are operators, right?” She asked haughtily.

“Yes, we are.” I replied.

“Then you are also servants. Get me my ****ing coffee now! Before I complain to the captain about the way you are treating me.” She said. Roland came in just in time to catch the end of her tirade.

“What’s going on here?” He asked. AK and I were to busy staring at the spoiled child to answer him.

“These two refuse to serve me my coffee. I have already asked them four times and they refuse to get me any. I demand that you fire these two servants at once!” She snapped.

“AK and Shifter are our operators, they are not servants. Everyone on this ship is here because they choose to be, not because they’re servants.” Roland said, he was visibly raging at her implication about me and AK.

“You mean to say that you have no servants here? I’m expected to do things for myself here?” Reactor asked.

“Believe it or not, yes. You are going to have to get your own hands dirty. If you want coffee you’ll have to get it yourself.”

“You never told me this! Do you think I would have come here if I’d known this?” With that she stood up and ran from the room.

“Such a nice personality. Is Locke still with Niobe? Because if he’s not then he and the princess would make a lovely couple.” I said.

(A few days later)

“Are you ready to continue training yet?” I asked politely of Reactor. She turned to glare at me.

“We can even go and get breakfast before we start.” I continued cheerfully.

“I don’t want to.”

“You’re going to have to do it eventually. Or else we leave you in Zion next time we dock there.”

“Okay. If it will make you shut up.” She snapped. Don’t you do anything but speak angrily to people? I wondered. But I said nothing out loud. Once more we went down to the mess hall, Maggie was there already eating her breakfast. Reactor sat down across from Maggie. Oh, yeah like I’m going to fall for that again, I thought. I glanced at Maggie, who rolled her eyes. I sat down and started eating, Reactor stared at me. I grinned across at her.

“Where’s mine?” She asked. I pointed behind her and swallowed.

“Over there.” I replied. Roland came in to get some coffee and after saying a quick morning to both Maggie and Reactor he left again.

“Oh, he is so cute!” Reactor squealed. I scraped the last food out of my bowl.

“Who?” I asked, distractedly.

“The captain.” She answered dreamily. The spoon stopped halfway to my mouth.

“Yeah, I know that already.” I said. Maggie laughed quietly next to me.

“Is he with anyone?”

“Nevermind, what they don’t can’t hurt them.” She stood up and hurried out the door. The spoon was still frozen mid-air as I turned slowly to face Maggie.

“Did she just say what I think she said?” I didn’t wait for an answer before I was up and out the door after her.

“Reactor!” I called after the running figure.

“What?” She called back over her shoulder, as she climbed the ladder. I came out on the main deck; AK was working on the chair, which had after all needed a new power cell.

“You asked the wrong person that question.” I told her. She finally stopped and turned to me.

“What question?” She asked.

“About the captain being with someone.” I answered. AK looked up from what he was doing, to listen to what we were saying.

“You mean he’s with you?”

“Unless it was actually AK’s bed I woke up in this morning and I didn’t notice the difference.” I answered. She stared at me for a moment, and then she started laughing.

“Why would he be with someone like you? You’re just an operator. He deserves someone like me.” She said. At least I’m not a snotty little brat like you. I thought. She looked at AK and laughed again.

“Have you been with him to? What about the rest, have you been with everyone on this ship?”

“No and even if I was that would still be none of your business.” I snapped back at her. She stopped laughing and narrowed her eyes at me.

“Yeah, I bet you have. Hell you’ve probably even enjoyed it all.” She said. AK stepped forward.

“That’s enough. What’s this about anyway?” He said. Reactor gestured at me.

“Her, she stole the captain from me.” She said.

“Wouldn’t you have had to have him for someone to steal him off you?”

“Shut up! You *****!” She screamed at me.

“You stole him from me! All you are is a lying whore. Hell you’d probably enjoy doing it with those agents or any one of the machines that are here.” At that I froze, my hands clenched into fists. I was about to belt here, but I managed to pull back just in time.

“You’re not worth it.” I strode away from her.

“I’ll fix that for you, AK. You get the little snob over there.” He stepped away from the chair. He may not have known what the machines did to me, but he knew something wasn’t right. Roland came up the ladder.

“What is going on up here, you can be heard screaming all over the ship?” Roland asked. I ignored his question, but Reactor did not.

“That’s the problem. All she does is argue with me and insult me. Not only is she being extremely rude to me, but now she’s stealing from me.” She said.

“Actually I think she was anything but rude.” AK said. Roland sighed and looked in my direction.

“AK, what the hell is going on?” Roland turned to AK.

“Reactor seems to think that Shifter stole you from her, captain.” He answered. Roland stared at him then from Reactor to me.

“Do you have anything to add to this conversation?” He asked me. I didn’t answer, I felt so angry that I felt if I did reply I would say the wrong thing. I just kept banging away at the chair with the hammer, trying to pry the cell loose.

“Is that all that happened?” Roland asked.

“Ahh…no sir.” AK was now beginning to look like the proverbial deer in front of the headlamps of an oncoming car.

“What else?” Roland asked impatiently.

“Reactor suggested that Shifter had been with everyone else on the ship and that she would probably enjoy being with an agent or the machines as well.” Roland froze and slowly turned his eyes on Reactor.

“You did what?” He asked, in a deceptively calm voice.

“Yes, well she probably would like it. She probably even likes it rough. Think about it Shifter, their cold metal limbs touching her all over her body, ripping your clothes off and then forcing their way inside of you.” She smiled over at me. I dropped the hammer on the floor before I threw it at her, then I walked over to the ladder and without a word I climbed down. I didn’t even notice where I was going until I ended up in the gunnery room.

“Shifter, you in here?” Rolands voice asked from the doorway. I stayed silent, hoping he’d go away again. I heard him walk across the floor, and then a loud bang as he walked into something.

“Dammit!” He muttered.

“I’m over here.” I raised my arm over the back of the chair. He came over and sat in the chair next to mine; he just sat silently for a while.

“We’ll be dropping her off when we dock in Zion next week when we dock. She had no right to say that stuff to you, I’m sorry.” He said eventually.

“She didn’t know.” I said.

“That doesn’t make it right. She doesn’t get along with anyone, she doesn’t even try.” He said quietly.

“Are you crying?” I reached up with one hand and wiped my eyes, my hand came away wet with tears. I laughed humourlessly.

“Now that’s something I haven’t seen since I was about four.” I said.

“You haven’t cried since you were four?” He asked curiously.

“Nope, machines made sure of that. If I did something they didn’t like then they’d punish me for it, I learned fairly fast that they didn’t like crying.” I replied. He was silent again for a moment.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“What for? It’s not your fault.” I said.

“Maybe what she did was not such a bad thing then.”

“How can insulting me like that not be ‘a bad thing’?”

“No, I mean it might be good for you to grieve. Have you ever done that, just grieve for your own past?” he asked. I didn’t answer; he reached out and touched my shoulder I moved to pull away from him. But then I looked into his eyes and saw that he was sincere. Oh great. Now look what you’ve done. I thought, as I felt more tears run from my eyes. He pulled me against him and I sobbed into his broad chest.

Words in <> are those that are typed

*********

We docked in Zion the following week and dropped of the whiny *****. Roland went to make his report to Locke, just as I was coming down the ramp, Thaddeus, the captain of the Osiris caught my arm.

“Are you ready?” He asked.

“For a few days off? Definitely.” I replied.

“Locke didn’t tell you that you’ve been temporarily transferred to the Osiris, has he?” He asked.

“I’ve been what? I didn’t put in for a transfer.”

“Lockes idea. We have yet to be fitted with power cell for the chairs and Locke said you had just worked on the ones here.” Thaddeus explained.

“How many days you staying docked for?” I asked.

“We’re already late, we had to wait for you to come in.”

“What? Oh, that’s just great.” **** you, Locke. I thought.

“How long are you heading out for?”

“A week, no more. We’re going to extract someone from the Matrix, then bring them back here.” He said. I turned back to the ship and Mauser, who was coming down the ramp.

“Tell the captain what happened for me.” I said. Then I threaded my way through the busy dock after Thaddeus. After we got on board he introduced me around to the rest of his crew, before he requested clearance from control and we left Zion.

Six days later

“Okay, time for the first test run. Robbie, jack me in.” I said. The chair was actually disconnected from the main power, so we’d be sure if it worked properly or not. Then I was inside the Matrix; I took out my mobile phone.

“Operator.” Robbie’s voice answered.

“Okay, transfer it to the mains. Then switch back to this one, then back to mains, okay. After that it should do it automatically when it needs to.” I told him. There was no telltale sign that the power was being switched around.

“Okay, let’s leave it run for a while, make sure it’s good.” I said, and hung up the phone. Two hours later I pulled out my phone again time to bring this little experiment to an end. There was no answer; in fact there was only silence. I pulled the phone away from my ear; no it was working fine. What was wrong? I wondered. If something was wrong they would have pulled me out. Was there something wrong with the Matrix? I figured I’d try again in an hour, until then I’d have to be really careful. I didn’t want to get caught by agents and have no way out.

But in an hour the same thing happened, silence. I pulled the phone back and punched in the number of the Hammer. But this was different, every few weeks we changed the number.

“Shit!” I muttered. I had no idea what the numbers were that the other ships used.

A few hours later

I started walking; I had to find a computer, talk to someone on the outside, and find out what was going on. And I still had to keep my eyes open, this had only been a test run, if I had run into a problem in here I could have been pulled straight out. As such I had brought no weapons, I spotted an Internet café nearby and I quickly stepped inside. Then I sat at the private booth and started hacking, into the computer on the Hammer. I knew whoever was watching the Matrix at the time would see my message, but unless it was AK the chances of them understanding the message was unlikely.

<Operator, what’s going on?> Then I sat back to wait for a reply.

((Second Person POV))

Maggie stared at the monitor, then glanced over at the figure who was about to go down the ladder.

“AK, you better come look at this.” She said. He turned around and came back.

“What is it?” He asked. Then he to stared at the screen, and the symbols flashing downwards.

“Move.” He said to Maggie.

<Who are you?> He typed.

<Something’s wrong here, I keep ringing and no one answers me. What’s going on?>

<Who are you?> He typed in again.

((Shifters POV))

I stared at the screen, finally some answers. But AK knew better than to ask that question, whenever we had to communicate like this the person inside the Matrix never used their name, nor were they called by their name.

<You know I can’t tell you. To easy to track once they know who I am. I need to know what happened, no one answers me when I try to contact them.> I knew that he might not know who I was from just this information, but I couldn’t risk giving him anymore.

((Switch back and forth back and forth))

“Get the captain up here. He should see this.” He paused in his reading as the tone for an incoming transmission came in, just as the captain arrived.

“Put it through, AK.” Roland said, as he picked up a headset. The face of Niobe, captain of the Logos appeared on a monitor. She bowed her head to Roland.

“I have some bad news. Five hours ago we received a transmission from the Osiris, it was under attack by sentinels. It was destroyed, all hands presumed dead. I’m sorry, Roland.” She stated. Roland froze. Shifter, dead? She couldn’t be. He shook his head, a terrible feeling of dread taking over. An eerie calm settled over him.

“Thank you, Niobe.” He said. Putting the headset down, he turned away but then he saw the symbols flashing down on the screen.

“What’s going on?” He asked, in a dead voice. AK stared blindly back at him, he to could not believe that Shifter was dead.

“Some hacker talking to us.” He replied.

<Operator, answer me. What the **** is going on?!>

<How do you know my name?> he typed, there was a long pause before the answer came back.

<I last saw you six days ago, before I was transferred to another ship.>

“What the hell…?” AK muttered, he turned his head quickly.

“Captain, I think it’s Shifter.” Roland turned a look of surprise on his face.

“What?”

“Look.” AK pointed at the monitor.

<I take it from your silence that you now know who I am, and that something has happened. What is it?> floated down. At the same time AK was trying to trace the origin of this hacker.

“Found them. But I’m not sure if it’s her or not, to much interference.”

<A few hours ago a god in Egypt died a group of octopus pulled him down and drowned him, nothing remains of his body.> This time the pause was so long, that the crew had arrived on deck.

<I don’t understand, if he drowned then how am I still alive? We were testing the new cells, but if the god has no body, then how can I still be alive?> AK glanced at Roland, who was now looking a little happier, although not by much. AK understood why.

“Okay, the Logos has already sent us the last known co-ordinates of the Osiris. We’re going to the surface; we have no more than two days at most to find her. I’m going to Jack in, make sure this is Shifter and not someone else.” He said. Then he sat in one of the chairs and AK plugged him in. as soon as he was in the Matrix he reached into his jacket pocket for his phone.

“Which way?” He asked. Then headed of in the direction AK gave him.

((Shifters POV))

What the hell was going on?

<The weapon of Thor is working to find you. We think we might know what happened to you, but it will be explained in person.>

After you find me? That’s really useful. I thought. I heard the door of the café creak open and I looked up, I didn’t want any unwanted surprises, such as agents. But the doorway was shadowed and I couldn’t see who it was, I moved away from the computer and moved around the opposite corner from which…whoever that was, coming from. As soon as I was past them I ran out the door. Only then did I realise that I had never gotten the newer number from AK.

((Second person POV))

Rolands phone rang, he answered it just as he came to the computer Shifter was…or rather had been using.

“Where’d she go, AK?”

“As soon as you entered in there she bolted. I’ve tracked her down and she’s not carrying any weapons, you’d better find her soon, captain.” AK responded. Then started giving instructions on where she was.

((Shifters POV))

Come on move it, I told myself. If that was an agent back there then I’d be dead, I didn’t stop to think about that, the ‘if it was an agent’ part. I just kept moving, straight down into a dead end. Shit! I heard footsteps behind me and I quickly ducked behind a huge dumpster. The footsteps got closer and closer, I waited until they were right next to me and I reached out with my left hand grabbing them by the throat and slamming them up against the wall, my right hand moving to smash them in the face. I pulled back mere millimetres from Rolands face.

“Jesus Christ! Are you trying to scare me to death? Shit I thought you were a ****ing agent.” I released him.

“It’s good to see you as well.” He said. I shook my head and let him pull me to him for a kiss.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” I said.

“Now what happened?”

“Niobe just contacted us. The Logos received a transmission from the Osiris a few hours ago, apparently they were being chased by sentinels and they had to make an emergency drop here. They were destroyed. AK thinks that part of the main deck; the part you were on was separated from the rest of the ship. It’s the only logical explanation. Which means that we have just under two days to find you.”

“Less than a day actually.” I told him.

“What?”

“We were practising with a half dead power cell. If it last twenty hours I’ll be deadly surprised, literally speaking.” I joked lamely, he didn’t laugh.

“It’s not funny. What were you thinking using a cell that wasn’t fully powered.”

“That we were just testing the chairs to make sure they worked properly.” His phone rang.

“What is it, AK?” He asked. He nodded once.

“Ok. Got it.” He hung up and shoved the phone back in his pocket.

“We’re on the surface, I have to go back.”

“I’ll walk with you.”

“I’m not so sure if that’s a good idea. What if agents how up?” He asked.

“Actually I was thinking more along the lines of you giving me your guns before you go back.” I said.

“I’m not so sure you need them.” He rubbed his neck ruefully.

“Sorry about that.” I mumbled.

“I think I would have done the same thing if I were in your position.” We finally got to the phone, which was already ringing. He pulled me into a tight hug for a moment, before letting me go again and handing me the two pistols that he always carried.

“You know I mean it when I say good luck, right?” I told him. He nodded and kept his eyes on my until he had disappeared back to the Hammer. Great, I thought to myself, I’m going to die here.

((Second Person POV))

“Anything yet?” Roland asked. Mauser, who was at holographics, shook his head.

“Nothing, captain.” He said.

“Captain, we have a problem down here.” AK’s voice came over the speakers.

“Found something, I think it’s her, captain.” Mauser said. Roland grabbed the radio.

“What is it, AK?” He asked. There was a pause before AK answered.

“Shifters going into shock, captain. In the Matrix I mean.” Mauser had already fed the co-ordinates to Colt, who was flying the ship in that direction.

“How bad?” Roland asked AK.

“I don’t know. But she is in that alley, keeping herself hidden.” Came the response. Roland silently willed the ship to move faster, finally it set down. He was down the ramp immediately, followed closely by Maggie, Colt and Mauser.

“Somewhere around here, sir.” Mauser said. Maggie moved toward what looked like a pile of sheet metal and lifted up one edge of it.

“She’s here.” She called across to the others. They lifted the metal of Shifter, and then each of them grabbed a part of the chair and carried it up into the ship. AK quickly connected it back up to the mains. Now that they were in full lighting they could see why she had gone into the shock in the Matrix, she had two major wounds on her, a long, but not very deep cut ran from her left knee to her ankle and a wound bisected her from her right shoulder to the centre of her chest, the white gleam of bone could be seen clearly through the cut flesh.

“I’m done.” AK announced, as he went to plug Roland in. Next thing Roland knew he was standing by the same hard-line he had last exited through. He moved quickly in the direction of the alleyway, where he found Shifter curled up on the ground, unconscious. He scooped her up in his arms and ran back for the exit, the phone was ringing and he picked it up and pressed it to her ear. She disappeared back into her own body. When the phone rang again he was ready. He opened his eyes to the sound of hitched breathing, he looked over at the chair Shifter was in, blood leaked from both major wounds as she struggled to sit up but AK held her down in the chair, while Maggie plunged the syringe she held into one of the plugs in Shifters arm. Instantly Roland was at her side, his hand reaching for hers. It took a few moments for the anaesthesia to take effect, and Roland didn’t think that she knew where she was. Slowly her eyes closed and then he picked her up once again and followed Maggie down to the infirmary, where he laid her gently on one of the examination beds. Then Maggie told him to leave so that she could take care of Shifter.