A past that never is

I opened my eyes slowly, then wished I hadn’t.

“Uhh.” It was more a groan of pain, than an actual word.

“Welcome back.” Maggies face swam into focus.

“Now we have some good news to give the captain when he returns.”

“How long?” I asked her.

“Were you out?” At my nod she continued.

“Almost two days. The anaesthetic wore out early yesterday afternoon, I know you’re in a lot of pain. But I can’t give you anything for it, between you and AK my stores are way down. You should get more used to it after a while.” She said.

“Why would I want to do that?” I tried to sit up.

“Let me help you.” Maggie put her hand under my left arm. I looked at her oddly.

“You’re not going to say ‘Don’t do that, Shifter’?” I asked. She laughed and shook her head.

“Every time I try you do it anyway.” She replied. I blushed, as I settled myself against the pile of pillows.

“So what’s going on?”

“At the orders of Commander Locke, Captain Niobe called a meeting in the Matrix. Apparently she and Ghost found out what it was that happened to the Osiris. Must be important because the captains of all the ships are ordered to attend.” My eyebrows rose at that. Whatever it was must be big. Yes, ships and captains had been known to co-operate on occasion and as such had to meet each other in the Matrix, to have a meeting where every captain was ordered to attend was something that happened about once in a lifetime. Maggie put a tray down in front of me with a bowl of delicious looking slop on it.

“Eat.” She ordered. I made a face.

“You need the strength. You lost a lot of blood from those wounds and you are still very weak. If you don’t eat that food then I WILL put you on a drip.” She said. I picked up the spork and started eating.

“Not that fast.”

“Don’t you ever stop giving out to me?” I asked somewhat petulantly.

“Not when you’re trying to choke yourself to death, no.” As soon as I was done eating she took the tray away.

“Now get some sleep.”

“I’m not tired.”

“If you don’t get some rest now then I’ll sedate you.”

“I thought that was the reason I was awake, because you have nothing left to sedate me with.” I grinned at her, or at least I tried to, grinning is kind of hard when your face has been ripped to shreds.

“Fine, don’t sleep. Don’t come complaining to me when you pass out.”

“I won’t be complaining to anyone when I pass out because I’ll be unconscious won’t I?” I muttered sarcastically.

“You make a terrible patient.”

“That might have something to do with the fact that I was trained to be an operator and not a patient.” Half an hour later I was just about ready to kill myself, I was so bored. I climbed off the bed and immediately Maggie was on her feet.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” She asked.

“The toilet.” I replied. She gave me a suspicious look, then came over and handed me a pair of crutches.

“Okay, half an hour. If you’re not back by then I’ll be up to the main deck and I’ll drag your skinny ass back down here and knock you out, got it?” She said. I nodded quickly and left, I would say hurried, but you try hurrying when you’re on crutches. I finally made it out onto the main deck, after a lot of cursing and bashing the crutches around.

“Nice to see you’re alive.” AK said as soon as I appeared.

“Thanks for the help, much appreciated.” I muttered under my breath to him. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled slightly.

“Oh, yeah. Like I’m going to do that after what you did the last time I asked if you wanted my help.” He said.

“Got anything for me to do?” I asked. He looked over at me, as I tried to figure out how to use the crutches, then he started laughing.

“Getting bored of the infirmary, huh?”

“You could say that. Oh, and AK I think I win the competition. Of course you’re welcome to try and outdo me, but you might get yourself killed if you do.” I said.

“I think I’ll just let you win.” He said.

“But I don’t want to win. I don’t want to be the only one in pain.” I whined, half jokingly. He shook his head, as he turned back to the monitors.

“Operator.” AK said, and I knew that Roland or Colt had rung up for something. I stayed quiet, not just so that AK could concentrate on what he was doing, but I had my own reasons as well.

“Got one, third door on your left.” He looked back to me as he spoke. ‘Agents’ he mouthed, I hobbled over to his chair, to stare at the monitor over his shoulder.

“The agents are nowhere near them.” I said quietly. AK looked back over his shoulder quickly, before returning his gaze to the screen.

“Yeah, but you know how fast those ****ers move.” He said.

“Yeah, will they make it?” I asked him.

“Think so, they’re already at the exit.” He said.

“Shit!” I hobbled for the ladder and tried to get down it as fast as I could.

“See ya later, Shifter!” AK called after me, I could hear the humour in his voice. I made it just to the bottom of the ladder before the end of one of the crutches got stuck in the floor. I yanked and pulled at it, and eventually it came free, flying upward and whacking me in the forehead.

“Ow!” I said. It hadn’t really hurt all that much; it was more the surprise. The crutch bounced across the floor and a moment later a hand appeared holding it.

“I think this is yours.” Rolands voice said. I refused to meet his eyes.

“Thanks.” I mumbled.

“What are you doing up already?”

“Bathroom.”

“Uh-huh. You do realise that the bathroom is in the other direction?” He smiled slightly as he said it, but I didn’t see him smiling because I was to busy admiring the pattern of the floor grating. I figured I had already lost anyway.

“Come on, before you hurt yourself even more than you have already.” He scooped me up in his arms and started to carry me back to the infirmary, at least that’s where I think he was bringing me. I burrowed my face in the crook of his neck and fell asleep, trying to ignore the pain that was in my chest.

I woke up in our bed back in Zion. Roland wasn’t in bed with me, but he must have been nearby, because as soon as I awoke he was next to me, sitting down carefully on the bed next to me. I look up at him through somewhat blurry eyes.

“Sedative. Maggie said you’d sleep for a while. I have to go to a meeting, but I’ll be back by the time you wake up again, okay?” He said.

“’Kay.” I mumbled, already falling asleep again. He was right, the next time I woke up he was asleep next to me and I would have curled against him, but the pain in my ripped chest was back. I just lay still waiting for it to subside; I must have fallen asleep again. When I woke up next time Roland was still next to me, but he was staring down at me.

“What is it?” I asked, sleepily. The right side of his mouth quirked upward slightly.

“I was just thinking how peaceful you looked. Like you had no worries or fears.” He replied. I tried to sit up, but gave up with a hiss of pain. Instantly his half smile turned to a look of concern.

“What is it?” He asked. I took a few deep breaths before answering him.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” I answered him. I knew by his look that he didn’t quite believe me, but he didn’t push for the truth.

“What happened at the meeting?” I asked quickly changing the subject. After he explained that the Vigilant and the Logos had gone to search for the Nebachadnezzar, which had left yesterday, he went on to tell me that the remaining ships were leaving later on that afternoon to hopefully try and stop the machines from cutting of the mainlines in and out of Zion.

“It’s a good plan, I think it might even work.” He paused then looked back down at me.

“You’re going to stay here. We have no need for an extra operator on this mission anyway.” While he might think the plan to stop the machines would work, I knew then that he was not willing to take any chances.

“And what does Locke say about this?”

“He’s insisting that all ships crews be onboard when the ships leave.”

“I never thought I’d say it, but I agree with him this time.”

“Shifter-”

“Listen to me, I still have nightmares about what sentinels and other machines did to me.” I caught his hands in mine.

“If I have to do this, if I have to die to stop them from doing that to someone else, then I will. I don’t expect others to fight for me…well accept maybe you,” she kissed him as she said it.

“But I can’t hide from them forever. Everyone’s past catches up to them eventually, and mine has been threatening to do so for a long time now. I am going, Roland.” Roland sighed, but he couldn’t fault my logic.

“I know. But I wish you would stay here.”

“Maybe being here would be more dangerous than being on the Hammer. Either way I’ve made my choice.”

The Hammer was the last ship, bringing up the rear in case of an attack from behind. And while I had insisted upon being here, I had more of a feeling that I was in the way than anything else. I couldn’t move very fast, the cut on my chest seemed to be healing well enough. The wound to my leg was a lot deeper and I was still doing the crutch dance, which was boring, but on the other hand it really bugged the shit out of AK, so all was not lost. Everyone else was prepping the ship for battle, AK and I on the other hand had nothing to do but stare at the monitors, which were acting a little strange, to say that least. Every so often someone’s code would start changing, then go back to normal, at first we thought it was our feed, but after restarting the whole thing we knew it wasn’t. We also had no idea what the hell was going on, after a while it seemed to settle down a bit, but there was still something off about it. But we didn’t have much time to be worrying about the Matrix. Roland was in the cockpit with Colt and Mauser, and Maggie was down in the infirmary. We were nearing our destination, there was a kind of a weird feeling, of course that could just be me. The next thing I was sliding across the deck, AK caught hold of the chair with one hand and grabbed the back of my sweater with the other hand. For a few moments we just dangled there, and if I wasn’t feeling so strange about this whole mission I probably would have laughed. I could imagine how I looked, arms and legs hanging down as AK hung unto me. It too a while for the ship to right itself and when it did both AK and I crashed to the floor.

“Damn, I keep forgetting I can’t fly.” I muttered.

“What the hell was that?” He asked.

“Why are you asking me? I don’t know, do I?” I said. He rolled his eyes as he pulled the headset down over his ears.

“Captain…we’re fine. What happened?” AK asked. He apparently got his answer, because his face visibly paled.

“Jesus Christ! What are we gonna do now? Okay got it.”

“What is it?” I asked as soon as he finished. He turned serious eyes to me.

“An EMP went off, five ships are down.”

“One of ours?”

“We don’t know yet. But the Captain thinks so.”

“Shit. What we going to do?”

“The machines are already through, Captain says we’re going to wait for them to move one, then we’ll make a pass to pick up anyone who’s still alive.” I could come up with nothing to say after that and the two of us just sat in silence for what felt like hours. Until finally we felt the ship moving again, slowly so as not to attract the attention of the sentinels. We trawled for almost four hours and found only one survivor; Bane. He was in some sort of a coma, or so Maggie said. But no one could explain why it was that he was the only one the sentinels didn’t kill. We were now going in search of the Vigilant, Nebachadnezzar and the Logos, if we were to make any kind of attempt to save Zion we were going to need them. It took us over a day to locate the Neb, or at least her crew, seconds before we found them a sentinel bomb had destroyed the ship. Neo the one Morpheus thought was ‘the One’ was in a coma and he joined Bane in our infirmary. We continued our search for the Logos; Morpheus informed Roland that the Vigilant had been destroyed hours ago. And of course Morpheus, Roland and I finally got to have that discussion that I had been trying to avoid, we were in the mess hall.

“You couldn’t have told me this sooner?” Morpheus asked.

“So you could stick your nose in? No, believe it or not, Morph I’m supposed to be grown up now,” When did you ever have a childhood? I wondered.

“That means I get to make my own decisions. Whether or not you agree with them.” Roland curled his fingers around mine as I spoke.

“That isn’t what I meant.” Morpheus paused.

“Did you ever stop to think that maybe I’d like to hear something from you first? Rather than have it passed down through the grapevine.” I stood up suddenly.

“I knew this was a waste of time.” I muttered, then I turned to Roland.

“You see what he’s like? He’s worried that what I do will be reflected badly on him. Well guess what, Morph, I don’t give a shit. It’s about time that I did something I want to do, without having to ask you damn permission first! Believe it or not I don’t like Roland because I know it will annoy you, I like Roland because he makes me happy…No! Scratch that I love Roland, he makes me smile. When I’m not happy he’s there for me, the same as I am for him. And if it doesn’t suit you then that’s your tough shit!” After that I stormed out of the mess hall. I was starting to make that a habit, running away from things I didn’t like. The past is coming to pay you a visit sooner than you think ShapeShifter.

“What…?” I muttered. An agent had given me that name when I was first made to work for them, I had since shortened it to just ‘Shifter’. I shook my head, yeah my past was so intent to catch up to me it was using my old name. I headed up to the main deck, where AK was running a search for Niobe and Ghost; a few moments later we were joined by Roland and Morpheus.

“I got nothing, sir. No sign of Niobe or Ghost. Nothin' but blue pills.” AK said after a moment.

“Should we jack in and try to contact them?” Mauser asked.

“It wouldn't matter. My gut says they're down.” Roland replied.

“Then we should start back.”

“No. If that ship can still fly, then we need it.”

“I was afraid you were gonna say that.”

“Search every pipe, every hole, every crack we know. Sweep as wide as possible, as fast as possible.

“Captain, these lines are crawling with calamari.” AK said. Roland turned to him

“Then the sooner we find them the better.” Roland told him. AK turned back to the monitors.

“Roland. I’d like to run another search through the Matrix.” Morpheus said.

“For what?” Roland asked.

“For Neo.” Morpheus replied. Both AK and I turned at that, then gave each other strange looks.

“How can he be in the Matrix, sir? He’s not plugged in.” AK asked.

“Please, for me.” Roland turned to AK and me and nodded once. A few moments later AK shook his head.

“The big bubkis. Nada. He's not in there.” He said.

“Sir, we've got the projections!” Colt said, jumping down of the ladder.

“How long?” Roland asked.

“Based on the point of entry and the speed it looks like the machines will be inside of Zion in just under 20 hours.”

“Jesus H. Christ.”

All right, let's move with a purpose. AK, get upstairs, I want you on holographics. Mauser, I want forward and aft guns manned at all times. And make sure we are running on as few pads as possible.

“Yes, sir.” Colt said. I took AK’s place at the monitors, just as the phone started ringing.

“What the…?” No one was in the Matrix at the moment. I pulled the headset on quickly.

“Operator.” I said. Everyone still on the deck turned around when I said that. I turned to look at Morpheu and held out the headset.

“Some guy called Seraph.” I said. I looked at Roland who shrugged his shoulders uncertainly. As soon as he was done talking Morpheus turned to Trinity and then to me.

“We need to go in and speak to the Oracle.” He said.

“Now way! You can’t go in there now.” Roland said. Morpheus turned away from me, to face Roland.

“If we want Neo back we have no other choice.” He said. Roland glared at him for a moment.

“Two hours. If you’re not out in two hours we pull the plug. We don’t have time for this.” He said. Link plugged Trinity and Morpheus in.

“This is insane.” I muttered, but I did it anyway. We continued looking for the Logos, as Morpheus and Trinity went to see the Oracle. Meanwhile I was trying to ignore Link who seemed to be talking about everything and nothing all at once. Then the phone rang and Link answered it.

“Almost, sir. They got some pretty ancient hacks here. We're working on it. Did you find Neo?” He said. I turned to look at him; he was lucky AK wasn’t here, talking about ancient hacks like that.

“No, sir. We were reading something but I couldn’t tell what it was.” He turned back to me after a moment.

“Neo is going to see the Oracle.” I stared at him.

“You mean he’s really in the Matrix?” I asked surprised.

“Unless it’s some guy that looks just like Neo.” He said.

“Then you better go tell the captain.”

“I think Morpheus already knows.”

“In case you didn’t notice Morpheus isn’t the captain of this ship, Roland is.” I glared at him. Perhaps my current dislike of Morpheus was letting me rule what I was saying. Link stood up and went off to tell Roland that they had found Neo, or to tell him I was being a little bitchy, I didn’t really care. I looked back at the monitors, a few moments later Maggie and Roland brought Neo up and Link and I plugged him in and after a few minutes his mind seemed to connect with his body, or at least in the way an operator would recognize it. Before leaving again Maggie took a look at me.

“You look like you could do with some sleep.” She said.

“I’ll be fine, not that tired.” I told her.

“Yes, and those black shadows you have under your eyes are meant to be there, right?” She smiled at me. I know that some things are worth fighting for, but I’d recently learned that it’s best to let the small things slide.

“Fine just as soon as we’re finished here.” I said.

“You are finished here.” Roland put in pointedly.

“Of course I am. After I fini-”

“If you don’t get some sleep you’re probably going to collapse. In case you didn’t notice, Shifter, you’re not fully healed yet. Go get some sleep, now.” Maggie said forcefully.

“Why’s everyone want to gang up on me?” I asked no one in particular, as I hobbled my way over to the ladder and tossed first one crutch then the other down the hole. Then I grabbed the sides of the ladder and slid down it, I figured it was the fastest way of getting down there, what I hadn’t expected was part of the ladder to come away in my hand and I fell the last few inches to the floor.

“Tell the sentinels to piss off home, I don’t need them to come and finish me off I can kill myself.” I called up the ladder, before hopping my way back to our bedroom and curled up on the bed without even getting undressed first. I was asleep within seconds. A few hours late Roland was shaking me awake.

“You’re having another nightmare.” He said. I blinked sleepily up at him.

“It was a very strange dream. But I don’t think it could happen.” I told him smiling a little.

“Oh? What was it about this time.” He sat down on the bed next to me.

“That an agent was after taking over one of us and was hunting us down one by one.” He raised his eyebrows at that.

“See, I told you it was crazy.”

“Niobes given her ship to Neo. He’s decided he wants to go to the Machine City.”

“Is he crazy? He’ll never get anywhere near there.”

“He thinks he can. What it is he’s planning to do exactly I have no idea. And we’ve questioned Bane; he doesn’t seem to remember much about what happened. Don’t know if he has VDT’s or what’s wrong with him. We’re just about ready to move on, Niobe is going to pilot us back to Zion.” He stood up and held out one hand to help me up.

“I think I’m going to go see Maggie.” I said.

“Is something wrong.”

“My leg is just a little sore, not to bad though.” I told him as we came out the door and he went up to the main deck and the cockpit and I went to the infirmary.

“Maggie you got any-” I broke off as something slammed into me sending me crashing backwards against the wall. I heard him say something that made my blood freeze, then blackness overtook me.

I came to a while later, I don’t know how much later. And I slowly dragged myself to my feet and went into the infirmary.

“Maggie? Shit!” She was lying on the floor with a scalpel in her stomach. I knew by her sightless gaze that she was already dead. I made my way to the radio by the wall.

“AK? You better get down here.” I said into it.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Smith, he killed Maggie.” There was silence on the other end for a moment.

“I’ll be right down.” He said. Within moments he and Colt were down there.

“We’d better get the captain down here.” Colt said. I sat down on one of the chairs, after telling Roland what had happened, they moved Maggie’s body to one of the tables. I wasn’t really surprised when Morpheus came down with Roland.

“What happened down here?” Roland asked.

“It was Bane, sir.” Colt explained.

“I want a search down for him. Are you alright?” He turned to me. But I didn’t answer, I was still trying to figure out where I’d heard those words before, the words that Bane had said to me before I’d been knocked out.

“Shifter?” His voice brought me back to the present. I looked up at him questioningly.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I mumbled the answer.

“Tell me what happened, the full story.” Roland ordered AK.

“Bane stabbed Maggie, and then presumably on his way out of here he ran into Shifter. Why did you say it was Smith?” AK looked at me.

“Smith? What makes you think that?” Morpheus broke in. I looked at him for the first time.

“He said that he was right that I would burn to death in metal and fire.” My words were numb.

“But I don’t understand, how could he be here? He can’t leave the Matrix, can he?”

“I didn’t think so, but anything is possible. Dammit!” AK and Roland were looking between us.

“What are you two talking about?” AK finally asked. Morpheus glanced at me, one eyebrow raised in question, I shrugged.

“Roland already knows most of it.” I told him. Now AK looked even more confused, but I think Roland might have some understanding about what was going on.

“Seventeen years ago when I took Shifter from them Agent Smith was the one sent to stop us. His last words to her were that she was a traitor and that she would burn to death when this world ended in fire and metal. Just as a traitor deserved.” Morpheus said. Those words that had been the last thing I had ever heard from the agent who had taken great pleasure in my suffering.

“Traitor? What? I don’t understand.” AK said. I thought I was going to be sick.

“That’s not important now.” Morpheus said.

“Yes it is.” I stood and looked him straight in the eye. I knew that he had said that to save me from any pain talking about this might cause. Then I turned to AK.

“Morpheus didn’t free me from the Matrix, he freed me from the machines.” I explained. AK still looked totally confused.

“They took me out of the Matrix. They wanted a human agent, they trained me to fight, to shapeshift…” They raped and abused me for years and I still fear them. Even more so when I find out that the worst of them can now leave the Matrix. I didn’t say this out loud of course, but I wanted to prove that I wasn’t like them. I felt Roland put his hands on my shoulders, giving me his silent support. But I could see the look in AK’s eyes, one of revulsion, as if I had chosen to work for them, like I had wanted to. Without another word he turned and left the infirmary. Roland came over and put his hands on my shoulders.

Song belongs to sister sledge or whoever wrote it.

Maybe I shouldn’t have told him, but I figured that they’d all find out sooner or later and then they’d want to know why I hadn’t told them myself. Ghost contacted Roland and told him that they were a few kilometre’s away from the support line they were planning on going through and he and Morpheus went up to the cockpit. I sat at the Matrix monitors, which now looked totally screwed up. A few moments later I felt the ship lurch slightly, then Roland, AK, Mauser, Colt and Link came rushing past.

“What’s going on?” I called to their retreating backs.

“Sentinels have spotted us, stay here.” Roland paused only long enough to answer me, before he hurried off in the direction of the gun bay.

“Jesus Christ.” I knew that we’d never make it back to Zion, the Hammer was to slow. A moment later the ship rocketed forward and I nearly slid out of my chair, I quickly strapped myself in.

“Slow down, this ain’t the Logos!” I heard Roland say through the headset.

“Hold onto your lunch, Roland, here we go.” Niobe’s voice told him. Then the ship rolled and dived.

“Holy Christ! I didn’t know this ship could do that.” I heard Roland say. Despite the situation I smiled, at least I knew some things would never change. The ship started going faster and I could only imagine the look on Rolands face, I’ll admit it wasn’t much fun for me either. I had buckled myself in so tightly that the strap was digging into the wound on my chest and shoulder, I could have loosened it, but then I’d get thrown around the place.

“You guys might want to strap yourselves in.” Niobe warned.

“You should have told me that five minutes ago when you were trying to teach me how to fly.” I muttered under my breath. What was I supposed to do up here anyway? Panic? I thought. The ship jerked as it rounded a bend.

“Shit, she’s got a fat ass.” Niobe said.

“Keep ‘em off me!”

“Goddamn, there’s a shitload of ‘em.” I heard Roland say.

“Captain! Do you see that?” Mauser asked.

“They’re going for the radio, stop ‘em!” Roland told him.

“Dammit!” I tapped one of the screens giving me a direct feed from the holographics sensors; the radio antenna was gone. I heard Niobe giving Morpheus commands and then yelling at him when he wasn’t doing it fast enough.

“There’s the exit.” I heard Morpheus say.

“On my mark, give me full power, 90 degrees, lower left starboard.” Niobe told him.

“Full power, 90 degrees.”

“Now!” I felt the ship lurch and then slip to the side as it spun around.

“Hold on, baby.”

“Goddamn, woman, you can drive.” Roland told her.

“We ain't home yet. What about the gate?” Niobe asked.

“Sentinels are inside the dock.” Morpheus replied.

“Are we too late?” The ship speeded up again. Then the back of the ship just seemed to drop and I could hear and feel the grating as it dragged along the ground. I heard sounds like small explosions coming from down below.

“Shut that down!” Roland yelled.

“We can’t make it! We gotta blow the EMP now!”

“You want me to charge it?” I asked.

“No.” Said Niobe.

“Yes.” That was Morpheus. Great, make up your minds. I thought.

“Captain Roland, will I charge the EMP?” I asked again.

“Yes, charge it.” He told me. I flicked the switch.

“The gates not open yet!” Yelled Morpheus.

“Yes!” Niobe called.

“Can we make it?” Morpheus asked her.

“We ain’t come this far.”

“Almost home…almost home.” Link muttered quietly. Then we hit what was the gate and the ship shook violently and then we crashed down.

“Burn it, Shifter!” Yelled Morpheus. I twisted the EMP switch and electricity surged outward from the ship. Did we do it? I wondered, as we finally came to a stop. I unstrapped myself with shaking hands.

“Goddamn we made it.” Roland said from behind me. I turned to him, not quite being able to believe his words, but knowing that they were true, he pulled me into an exuberant hug. Then he led me to the hatch, which wouldn’t open; he took a step back and kicked it open. We were greeted by a cheering crowd, all of whom wanted to hug us. After a few moments Morpheus, Niobe and Roland went down to meet Locke. The rest of us made our way to the temple. A while later Roland came down to us, he spoke for a few minutes to AK, Colt and Mauser, then pulled me aside to talk to me privately.

“The machines will still be able to come through. I’m joining the rest of the military at the temple entrance.” He said. I knew what it was that he wasn’t saying. This was the last time that I’d see him alive and probably not much longer after that the machines would come for the rest of us. The machines might kill us all, but we wouldn’t give up without a fight. I leaned against him and allowed him to put his arms around me, he rested his chin on top of my head. We stayed like that for a few moments before he finally pulled away.

“Goodbye, Shifter. I love you.” He whispered, he turned and walked away, not looking back once. But I didn’t stop looking until I saw his broad back disappear amongst the pillars.

“I love you to.” I said it so quietly that no one heard me. Then I sat down on the floor. To wait for death to come for me. AK was still giving me odd looks, but I was trying to ignore him as my mind replayed Rolands last words over and over again. But finally I turned to AK, one eyebrow raised.

“Well, are you going to ask or not?” I asked him.

“Ask what?” He said.

“I might not be psychic, but those looks you’ve been giving me ever since you found out suggests that there’s something on your mind. So out with it.” I told him. He blushed and looked away from me.

“What do you want me to say?” He asked

“What do you want to know first?”

“How did you…how old were you when you first came out of the Matrix?…If you don’t want to answer that’s alright.” He said.

“I don’t know how old I was I don’t remember being removed. Maybe I was never put in at all.”

“You never had…” He trailed off.

“Parents? A childhood? Nope, didn’t have either of them.” I said.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” he said quietly. I held up my hand to cut him off.

“It doesn’t really matter now anyway, does it?” I asked, smiling sadly.

“What did the machines want with you?” He asked. To be their way of letting off steam. I thought silently.

“I don’t really know. Didn’t stick around long enough to actually find out.” I told him. And I doubt whether I would have lasted this long under their tender care. I thought bitterly.

“Why not?” He asked. I laughed with little humor.

“Because sometime nice food and warm clothes aren’t everything.” I looked him in the eye and my words from a few moments ago came back to me ‘It doesn’t really matter now anyway, does it?’

“Tell me something, AK. Have you ever been in pain? So much so that all you wanted in the end was for death, even though you didn’t know what death was, or if it was any worse than the pain you were in?” I asked. He looked at me as though he had never seen me before.

“I can’t say that I have.”

“When I was nine Morpheus rescued me from them. All I knew up until that point in my life was pain. I remember asking them once why they were doing that to me. Know what they said? That they did it because they could. Besides who was going to stop them? Rape was their favorite thing; or at least I think it was, they certainly did it often enough.” His eyes widened at that.

“But you said that…”

“That I was nine when Morpheus found me; yes, I know. I wasn’t lying about that.” I told him. And finally all I had been saying seemed to sink into his mind.

“Does that answer your question as to why I didn’t want to stay with them anymore?” I asked him. He nodded.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. Why did you come to work on the Hammer after what they did to you?” He asked.

“Sometimes I wish that they hadn’t done to me what they did, maybe I could have had a normal life, whatever normal is. Many people think that the Matrix is a lot better than living here in Zion or on a ship. Maybe if the machines hadn’t used me then I would still be a part of the Matrix, totally oblivious to the fact that I was nothing more than food for machines, I wouldn’t have seen life for what it really is. I would never have met Morpheus, you or Roland.” I caught my breath as I realized that I would never see him again, but then plunged on.

“Yes, life can be hard here, but who the hell said life was easy anyway? I would prefer to see what’s real, even if none of you were here.” I put my arm across his shoulder and pointed to Cass who sat nearby with Strafe and Jade.

“In answer to your question as to why I went to work on the Hammer. That’s why . Through experience, I know what a machine can do to a child. And I’m not going to let them do that to Strafe, Jade or any other child here. In answer to your question as to why I went to work on the Hammer. That’s why. What an operator does on a ship might not necessarily be as important as what others do. But it does help to stop the machines from taking over everything.” I looked up at the sound of running feet. AK moved to push me behind him protectively, but I stepped around him.

“Not going to make much difference anyway.” I said quietly. Then someone appeared on the outcropping above us.

“Zion! Zion! Zion, it's over! It's over! The war is over! The war is over!” He yelled. I turned to AK; he looked as surprised as I felt. Then we heard Link yell in triumph and the crammed temple broke out in cheers. AK grabbed me and started dancing around, we laughed. But then I remembered and turned to make my way to the entrance of the temple.

“Roland.” I whispered a feeling of dread inside me. A part of me wanted to believe he was fine, but some part of me told me he wasn’t. Then I saw him running down the path from the outcrop towards me; he came to a stop in front of me. We stared into each other’s eyes for a long time, before I threw myself at him.

“I thought you were dead.” I whispered in his ear. He kissed me hard on the lips.

“I’m right here.” He told me.

“What happened?” I asked, not letting him go. And he refused to let me go as we rejoined AK, Colt and Mauser.

“The machines just turned around and left. Morpheus says that Neo must have done it.” He replied. And that was just what seemed to be passing through the temple; that Neo had saved us all.

“But why would they just leave like that? I don’t trust them.” I muttered the last part. How could I after what they did to me? Roland squeezed my shoulder.

“They’re still gone. He must have stuck some sort of deal or something.” He said. I was shoved against him as something hit my leg, I looked down.

“Mama says there gone, Shifter.” Jade cried. I bent down to her and she grabbed me around the neck.

“No more sentinels. They’re not going to come back are they?” She asked worriedly.

“No, they’re not coming back.” I told her. She grinned up at me as she let go of my neck and grabbed my hands, pulling me away from Roland and started dancing around while singing. I looked back at Roland and saw him smiling, full of promises that were yet to come. I joined my sister and together our voices soared.

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev'rybody and sing

Ev'ryone can see we're together
As we walk on by
And we fly just like birds of a feather
I won't tell no lie
All of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We're giving love in a family dose

Living life is fun and we've just begun
To get our share of the world's delights
High hopes we have for the future
And our goal's in sight
No we don't get depressed
Here's what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won't go wrong
This is our family Jewel