he is 18, but only just and is quite mature for his age but I wouldnt put sexual lustre and a constant need for it past him.
His last sexual relationship lasted 7months and he said that they only had sex 10 times and it was only when she was in the mood for it. we have spoken about this and he has said that sex isnt the problem and that hes fine with things that way they are.
I think its my company he requires during the evenings but my parents are very strick and dont like me staying anywhere over night unless its with very close friends or family and I've tried to explain this to him but he just doesnt understand. how can I keep him, my family and myself happy if niether he or my family will bend?
my weekly time table:
monday
college: 9:15am to 12:30pm
usually go to his after that, I get to his house at around 1:30pm
then I have to be home by 9:00pm which means leaving his at 7:30 he has Thia boxing at 7:30 anyway.
if the trains arnt delayed I get home at about 8:55pm
tuesday
college:9:15am to 3:00pm
get home at 3:55pm
got to work at 5:30pm finish at 9:30pm (he works from 6 - 10:30pm)
get home at 10:00pm
wednesday
same as tuesday.
thursday
college 9:15am to 12:30pm
then usually go home he has Thia boxing at 7:30pm
friday
college 11:00am to 4:45pm
some time go out for the evening with him but usually have to be picked up at 11:00pm the lastest.
saturday
get up late
work at 4:00pm until 8:00pm get home at 9:00pm if I'm lucky
he works 6-10:30pm
sunday
I do pretty much nothing have a late start
he works 6-10:30pm
from my house it takes me nearly 2hours to get to his house. from college it takes an hour and a quater. an it costs me £6 a trip.
so guys anyother pearls of wisdom?
It’s not Lara’s job to figure out what her bf wants. It’s the boyfriends job to TELL her what he wants, and then he can HOPE she wants to give it. Just as it is Lara’s job to tell her bf what she wants, and hope he wants to give it.
I think the greatest obstacle in relationships is communication. If the two parties can communicate, and tell what’s on their mind, when it’s on their mind you have a good foundation. Neither is supposed to guess/read/interpret weird signals.
Inform your bf/gf/husband/wife/lover!
And if you’re in a bad mood, and look all grim, and the other asks
“What’s the matter.”
And you sigh bravely and say “Oh, nothing,” then do not expect the other to GUESS.
This is not an exclusive male or female trait. Both genders are as bad as the other.
Lara, this guy needs to respect your needs, also. If you're busy all the time, he should cherish the limited time he has with and not spend that time complaining about the limitations. He seems very selfish to me. You said he's mature for his age, but he sounds pretty immature getting mad at you for not putting him over everything else in your life. Sit him down and ask him point blank what he wants in the relationship. Tell him what you're able to give and what you want from him. Things may work out, they may not. Either way, you'll be much happier.
ok ok...yes yes we are overanalizing this....im a guy..and yes guys DO have trouble with the whole "emotional" bit..but its not that we dont like to talk about it,,its just hard for us to start to talk about it.....I'm 18 and let me tell you, for a guy, telling a girl how he REALLY feels is incredibly difficult..im not sure why...I think it makes us feel vanurable, and well, weak....and i know personally how obsured this is......but its the way that men think....the problem between men and women is that women take things way too seriously (meaning certin responces, comments exc.)..where as men take things too easily, meaning that a man may say something to a women and she will take it too seriously and overanalize it, thus coming out with a different inturpurtation of what he said origionally..its the thought process that are the problem between men and women...this is a branch of the socilogical theroy called "conflict theroy"..it has been proven....
men DO have emotions but keep them bottled up, espicially the ones that they think are small and irelivent, where women are open with all thier emotions, even the ones that men find are irrelivent....in your case...U need to start the conversation with him...u make the forst move to get him to tell you...because this is a rule that i think that all women should know...
"if it seems like there is something wrong with a guy that u know, but he hasent said anything to you himself, then its something that he feels would make him feel weak or varnuable to say, even though he wants to talk about it as much as you do, in this case its up to u (the women) to start the conversation"
and the women can say things like "u both have to tell ur partner what u want" and all that crap, but im telling you that things are not that ideal, so if a guy is being like u said hes being, and hes not telling you himself, the U have to start the conversation, cause thats the only way ur going to find out.....
lara> i'm assuming that you are around the age of eighteen, correct? i know at this point, this seems like the most important issue in your life. i do not mean to totally disregard your emotions and feelings, but in the grand scheme of things, this is merely a speedbump in a lifetime of relationships. overall, i wouldn't worry too much about this, and concentrate on bettering yourself (i.e. education and personal growth) and bringing yourself happiness before trying to please someone else.
on a personal note, i made promise to myself that i would not marry prior to the age of 25. i'm glad that i did, because i am now married to the most intelligent, mature, beautiful woman that i have ever met. i shudder when i stop to think of the different women i dated when i was a teenager and early twentysomething, and consider what if....
you're still young in a world full of people, ideas, and experiences. seize the opportunity while you are still young, take advantage of all that is offered to you, and build a self-confident mature mental foundation in order to live out your precious life.
"take your time and do it right"
madsci
Life's good Lara, thanks for asking. 😄
Just one last thought on this though...
When I was 18 and wasn't getting to see Mrs.MM as much as I wanted, I went mad on extra driving lessons so I could pass my test quicker. She lived over an hours bus journey away; but when I did pass, we got loads of extra time together. A mech's gotta do whatta mech's gotta do...
Guys tend to recoil under tensile pressure. When u ladies r kinda being smooth and understanding it's like u're forcing us to come to some form of decision. Making any kinda decision<which is followed by ACTIOn> is stressful for a fella<well most i know anyway!>
We tend to draw away from ASB<attention seeking behavior> when we reach our late teens. There is all sorts of shit and dark morbid thoughts suppressed in our subconcious. U mean need to understand that when a guy is talkin to another guy AS IN talkin' especially beyond the age of 18 he's not talkin at all.He's just tapping tatoos in his skull b-coz when u're a guy u want to be careful not say the wrong thing and come off as sentimental or weak<believe it>
It's not being insecure it's just when it all boils down to the hardcore truth we guys have a hareder time growing up than u ladies so do not i repeat do not be surprised if we tend to out come as immature or extremely insensitive.
U women open your mouths to stress a point or feel some form of vibe or high. guy aint sayin' anythin' till u touch his persona!
I hope dat kinda gives a different perspective on things.
It's the communication thing a guy is looking for the bigger better DEAL!
The girl wants to soak up her warmth and comfort in his admiration.
When u're a guy above the age of say 20 the last thing u want is to be admired or be some role model. U want to take it easy analyse the situation and sort of make an unforced decision as best as u can. With women that's seems cowrdly!
Geez i don't know How i could piu it better.
Guys do not talk that much as they get older they just echo you own thoughts so try to be a bit more forward and subtle in your projections towards HIM I'm sure u'll find it a lil more rewarding.
Do not try tp pinpoint the problem<it's never really THERE> just express urself as explicitly(that is deeply NOT emotionally coarse or vulgar) and u'll Get the attention u deserve.
We r spolied by our mothers or motherly figures when we're young. This is first impulse we learn to resist drawing unnecessary ATTENTION!
Do not mother the brother just be sociable in polite kind of way GET HIM to open more about his personal interests especially when HE's not with YOU!
Worst fear for a guy is not being a fool or look silly.
It's comin' out absurd with someone he's emotionally involved with.
The way a guy trains himself to think is territorial he wants to be unique and compared to some other GUY!
It really is not fair to toss your xcess emotinal baggae at a man who is not particularly interested in rewiring his thinkin'.
For guys when it's over it's over.
Women tend to carry emotional baggage from anything work,play,sisters,funerals,magazines. health clubs.
U gals can be intersestin' really but for guys the first impression cuts the deepest!
Recently my mother was very annoyed when i refused to talk about how the death of my brother had afected me. He's the second one to die in our family. As afr as i was concened it was a passing pahase HELL i'd been thru it before wht relive and OBSESS over it!
She was extremely very unahmed to accuse me of being uncaring and not in the least remoseful for my broter<UTTERLY AMAZING!I woz even closer to him than her!>
LADIES i repeat we guys do not talk much about nothin in PARTICULAR!
We tend to BORED and very BORING easily I'M sorry to say coz till we redefine ouselves life just loses meaning for US after we spiritually step out of the womb.
That's when a man wants to remaster his nature SO just give his time and space it's territorial and personal xperience for him BUt if you listen to ME u'll be amply rewarded.
All u'll end up doing is cuttin' this thing off and carrying that excess emotional baggage into the next guyz way AND trst me HE'LL BE more territorial seemingly obnoxious and frustrating COZ when it's tensile stress or strain a man wants to think things THRU!
GOOD DAY!
Just try harder to communicate he's just being a typical human-male the trick is to get him to really like you and appreciate for what u are. Do not simulate your maternal instincts onto him he'll just savve he's ego but sooner or later he'll want to move onto something new.
Women are basically the same to any guy the trick is to amster what appeals to his basic nature. guys can be extremely sensitive if you hook 'em right!
DO not force him to make untimely decisions we guyz only learn to apprecitae good things or friends afetr say 5 yeras. Loneliness is not mus of a bother for us<few i know anyway>
U're pretty cool tryn to figure him out but just BE PATIENT!
U'll get your guy!
Nothing makes a guy feel better than coming home to people who appreciate him for who and what he is at that moment NOT the past AND not WHO HE MIGHT BE! Just for who he is a growing-up immature AND insensitive prick<SO GO GET YOUR MAN!>
now THAT was very interesting. I'm a patient person anyway and my guy can be trying at the best of times. so your saying that I should corner him (not tat I do that anyway cause I dont think thats polite anyway.) and just work on our common ground. give him that space he wants and let hi do his thing?