ha ha ha ha
An english man, Irish man and a scotsman walk up to the bar and ask for three pints. They go and sit down at a table and waiter brings drinks to the table.
Seconds later 3 flies simultaniously fly into each pint. The englishman pushes his pint away in disgust, the scotsman takes his fly and flicks it onto the floor and the irishman picks it up carefully by its wings and shouts "SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD" SPIT IT OUT
And Englishman, an American and a French man are all celebrating in Saudi Arabia with a bottle or two, where even possesing alcohol is punishable, and all of a sudden the cheif of police bursts in and they are arrested.
After their court trial they are punished to 50 lashes each, but the policeman tells them all that because its his wifes birthday, he'll give them one request.
"Tie a pillow to my back" says the american, but after 20 of his lashes are throughthe pillow's shredded and the american's dragged away sobbing.
The frenchman steps up and says
"I want two pillows tieing to my back", but after 35 lashes the pillows are shredded, and he's caried away sobbing.
"What's you wish" says the policeman to the englishman
"Tie the frenchman to my back"
😊
ok, you might think its kinda gross....so if you get queezy dont read it. This guy is planing on having his girl friend spend the night in dorm but he forgot that he was suppose to babysit his little brother that night, so he tells him to stay over to. The kid slept on the bottom bunk, and the guy and his gf slept on the top. Now, sense his brother was sleeping over he told her that if she want him to do it 'faster' say pickles. If she want him to do it 'slower' say tomatoes. And if she wanted him to stop say lettece. So....for awhile she was like, pickles tomatoes pickles.......and finally she said lettece. Then his kid brother says, would you guys plz stop making sandwiches, your getting manase all over me...........
my friend told me this joke, i noe, its kinda perverted.
3 nuns die and are going up to heaven, but need to answer a question before they can get let in.
The first nun is asked "what was the name of the first man", to which she replied "Adam", and she was let into heaven.
The second nun is asked "what was the name of the first woman", to which she replied "Eve, and was also let into heaven.
Then the 3rd nun was asked "what was the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam", to which she replied "hmmm. Thats a hard one".
lol
A priest, a doctor, and a lawyer all died and went to heaven. There they stood before St. Peter, and he said to them;
"If you each answer one question correctly, you'll be admitted into heaven."
To the priest- "What was the name of the ship that hit an iceberg and sank on April 14, 1912?"
"Titanic" the priest answered.
"That is correct, you may enter."
To the doctor - "How many passangers and crew died that night?"
"1,503"
"That is correct, you may enter."
To the lawyer - "Name them."