Funniest Joke In A Film

Quoted from road trip........

Girl: You mean never? not even once.

Kyle: O yeah i have had sex before, just never with another person.

Please post the funniest quote from a film, it can be from good films (road trip, airheads) crap films (van helsing, american pie) or from non comedies (matrix, x-men).

You decide.......Please add a humping banana at the end of each reply like so......... 💃

The Funny Mans joke from Boondock Saints. "I'll have a coke then."

Not really a joke but it made me hoot - "I think I just shot Marvin in the face" Vincent Vega - Pulp Fiction.

Thats a funny quote, but not a 'joke'.

In "Ransom", the kind-hearted kidnapper asks the kid "Why can't you starve in the desert? Because of all the sand-wiches!"

The victim at the beginning of "Jerry and Tom" tells a few groaners:

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Kevin?"

Also: a guy walks into a doctor's office with a duck on his head. The doctor says "Can I help you?" and the duck says "Yeah...can you get this guy off my ass?"

He started another joke which he didn't get to finish, but I suspect it was the one that ends "And at these prices, you won't get many more!"

Speaking of unfinished jokes, I've wondered for 20 years what the punchline could be to the one Judd Nelson was telling to himself while crawling through the rafters in "The Breakfast Club". I guess it'll have to be one of life's little mysteries.

That joke from "Boondock Saints" was also told by Harry Belafonte in Robert Altman's "Kansas City", but the punchline is "I'll have a martini."

Also, Myth, I'm surprised you didn't mention Mia Wallace's Fox Force Five joke from PF.

Thats because its not as funny. Sure I like that little tid-bit, but not as much. Also, the Desperado joke where the guy pisses all over.

the movie super troopers... enough said

I don't think that is enough said. What is the joke? This isn't funniest movie, its funniest 'joke.'

me tristan who are you guys

and gals

Funniest quote, joke, film if ya like. And it doesnt have to be from comedies it can be from cheesy films (mummy, van helsing).

Heres one for ya from the good old english classic 'lock stock and two smoking barrels'.

Ed):- We hit them as soon as they come back. We'll be prepared waiting.....and er.........they're armed.

Soap):- What was that? Armed? what do you mean armed? armed with what?

Ed):- Er Colourfull language, bad breath, feather duster, what do you think there gonna be armed with? guns you t*t!!!

Soap):- You never said anything about guns. A minute ago, this was the safest job in the world, now its turning into a bad day in bosnia.

💃

Originally posted by Myth
I don't think that is enough said. What is the joke? This isn't funniest movie, its funniest 'joke.'

Maybe the movie is the joke. Although I would never say that about any movie whatsoever abbreviated as S. Troopers.

Starship troopers although i absolutley love it to death is a joke.

in Sgt. Bilko

Soldier: Permission to speal freely sargent
Bilko: What are we in Russia? yeah go ahead

dumb and dumber

also the insults from Full Metal Jacket made me crack up

Originally posted by Discos
in Sgt. Bilko

Soldier: Permission to speal freely sargent
Bilko: What are we in Russia? yeah go ahead

Also from Sgt. Bilko:

(During bogus room check)

Major (pulling out bra from closet): Is this yours?
Private: It is my understanding that you can no longer ask me these questions.

ALSO

Major: Who are these people?
Private: They're from my favorite television show, The African-American hour. It's funny, but it makes you think.

Funny scene, would have to have seen the movie to laugh.

Again from Lock Stock....

Bacon:- And you keep all the money.

Soap:- I'd rather put my money on a 3-Legged rockin' horse. The odds are 100 to 1 for a good reason bacon. IT WONT WIN.

Or Another--------------------------------------------------

Tom:- That is 900 nicker (pounds/ $1440) in any shop your lucky to find one in, and your arguing over £200? What kind of finance did you study? Its a deal, its a steal, sale of the F**king century. In fact....f**k it nick i think ill keep it.

Nick:- Alright, alright keep your allans on.

*Nick pulls out a huge amount of money out of his pockets*

Nick:- Here £100

Tom+Ed:- JESUS CHRIST

Ed:- You could choke a dozen donkies on that. What are you doing when ya not buying stereos nick? finance revolutions?

Nick:- £100 is still £100.

Tom:- Not when the price is £200 and certainly not when youve got Liberias deposite in ya wallet.

Bit long but hey.............

💃 💃

I don't know why but every time I watch Office Space I always laugh out loud at this part:

"...turn off your answering machine, and you should be home free."
"That's a really good idea."
"F***in A, man." (said real nonchalantly, that's the best part of it)

Nick had Liberia's deficit in his skyrocket (pocket), part of that rhyming Cockney slang, remember?

The DVD features a glossary full of such terms, some of which weren't even used in the movie.

Jokes can even be from computer games like GTA3 from chatterbox.

Laslow: Well im not a mastercating cow so i really dont enjoy chewing damp hay, prancing around in leggings, shouting HAI YA.

Reed: Ok this is your final warning laslow dont make me go into my dragon stance.

Laslow: ok caller on line one your on the air.

Caller: .................But then i grew weak and started knocking things down with the broom, what do i do reed?

Reed: Don't worry my child we are all weak..

Laslow: you certainly are....

Reed: SHUT UP YOU CARNIVORE WHY DONT YOU GO AND KNAW ON A BONE LIKE A GORILLA LASLOW, I dont like chicken wings, people of old lived and consisted of a diet of nuts berrys and fruity vegetables.

Laslow: Yes and they started throwing stones at their shadow and died of old age and fear at 24.