Later, the same night...
😮💨 Hey bitchas check my smokes I'm cool.
👽 I'm no bitchas, I'm an alien and it's time for you to die.
😮💨 Shit, I always tought smokes killed you, but now I know that it's actually aliens that kills you when you smoke.
👽 You are a smart boy, now come with me. You have discovered our plan. We invented smokes so we could travel in space without being lost. You humans ignite Earth with all your cigarettes that it shines more than the Sun. It becam an indication in space. But now that you've discovered it, you must be taken away.
🤨 Huh, you just told me.
👽 ................ Shut up!
And so Mike followed the alien in a sort of box, with reindeers that pulled it.
😕 I only know one person who has that sort of travel system
👽 Ha huh (shit I should have brought my spaceship)
Mike takes the mask off and discovers the alien is actually Santa Claus
😑 OMG this is terrible.
😖anta: Ya, well I was tired of giving gifts without anyone giving me gifts in return, so I invented cigarettes to kill all of you, BECAUSE I HATE YOU ALL!!!
😮💨 Dang!
With the help of Rudolph, who gave the information that Santa was a descendant of the bull frog, Mike made Santa Claus smoke until h exploded.
😗 It's not my fault if no one have presents this Christmas.
😮💨 Anyway, check my puffs bitchas.
The end
A Jewish and a Tchek went hunting. They saw a bear, but before they could shoot him, the bear ate the Tchek. The Jewish went to tell the ranger, who was talking to another man (let's call him Mike). They all went on the spot and saw two bears there; a male and a female. The ranger asked:
-Which bear ate your friend?
- It was the male, said the Jewish.
The ranger then shot the female bear and opened its carcass. Inside, he found the body of the Tchek. Mike asked:
-How did you know he was in the female when the Jewish said he was in the male?
The ranger said:
-Never trust a Jew when he says that there's a check in the mail.
LOL