Erie music plays and the title appears in fluro green writing.
Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Blue Pebble…………..
-10 or so minutes later-
Title: ……...Well are we going to go to the next scene or not?
This scene: Ok Ok
Next scene appears with a light wind whistles among the fog and in the distance a ship appears……...a ship appears. Voices are herd off set.
Director: What's going on? Where’s the ship?
Producer: They seem to be running late!
Just then the HMS Dumbass appears…
Director: Finally!
Young Elizabeth stands at the bow singing loudly while the crew all hastily shove ear plugs in.
Young Elizabeth: I’ve got a lovely bunch of cocoanuts! Dum De Dum! There they are standing in a row! Bomp! Bomp! Bomp! Big ones small ones! Ones as…<gets a sharp poke in the shoulder>….EEEEEKKK
Gibbs: Oh….Shut Up!!
Crew: Huzzah
Young Elizabeth: How dare…
Gibbs: If your going to bloody sing at least sing the right song!!
Young Elizabeth: What do you mean?
Gibbs: <sighs> The Pirate song lass!
Young Elizabeth: Oh…….That song?
Gibbs: Yes that song!
Young Elizabeth: Alright….<turns back to the bow then back to Gibbs> I didn’t learn it though.
Gibbs: What?
Young Elizabeth: I didn’t learn it!
Gibbs: <groans> Fine then…….Ill sing it and pretend to be you and you pretend to be me Alright!!!
Young Elizabeth: <rolling her eyes> Alright!!
Gibbs: Drink up me ‘earties Yo Ho, We kidnap we ravage we don’t give a hoot Drink up me ‘earties Yo Ho
Elizabeth prances around in the back round pretending to be Gibbs!!
Gibbs: <turns around> Stop that Now will you!
Young Elizabeth: I'm just doing what you do!
Gibbs: Arrgh You be you again and we will just jump to the part where I come in!
Young Elizabeth: We should of just don’t that from the start.
Gibbs: Shut Up
Young Elizabeth turns back to the bow.
Gibbs: Quiet Missy. Cursed Pirates sail these waters. You don’t want to bring them down on us now do you!
Norrigton: Mr Gibbs! Don’t tell lies its not very nice <looks scared>
Gibbs: She was singing about pirates. Its bad luck to be singing about pirates in this mired and unnatural fog. Mark my words!
Young Elizabeth: but I wasn’t singing. That was you!
Crew: <groans>
Norrigton: Er….Just leave the girl alone Gibbs and enough about pirates! <looks scared again>
Gibbs: Yeah Yeah …… Its bad luck to have a woman aboard too even a miniature one not to mention a sassy Lieutenant who’s afraid of pirates!
Norrigton: I am Not
Gibbs: Did I say your name?
Norrigton: Uh…..<turns back to Elizabeth>
Young Elizabeth: Your afraid of Pirates? <starts laughing but stops when she gets glared at by Norrigton> Ah-Hem…….Well I think it would be rather exciting to meet a pirate!
Norrigton: NO! No No No Don’t say that….Pirates are are…<shudders>...scary and Bad and they could cut you…
Governor Swann: <glares at Norrigton>
Norrigton: AH-Hem and I intend to stop them all by er...getting some rope, tying it around there necks and uh…. Let them dangle for a while
Young Elizabeth gives a quizzed look in Gibbs direction who just shrugs and continues drinking.
Governor Swann: Lieutenant Norrigton. Bight your tongue.
Norrigton: <bites his tongue> Ow that hurts!
Governor Swann: <ignoring Norrigton> I’m concerned about the affect this subject will have upon my daughter!
Norrigton: Ow Ow Ow <wanders off complaining about his tongue>
Young Elizabeth: <trying not to laugh at Norrigton> I’m going to marry a pirate!
Governor Swann: That’s what concerns me!
Young Elizabeth: No really I am! I went to a physic before we left and she told me.
Governor Swann: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that! <walks off angrily to make deals with Norrigton so that his daughter wont marry a pirate>
Young Elizabeth gazes boredly over the edge of the HMS Dumbass when she sees a parasol floating in the water.
Young Elizabeth: Oh My God What happened to Marry Poppins?
Marry Poppins: <appears> Oh good I've been looking for that. <grabs the parasol then flies off>
Just then shouts are herd from the helm of the ship!
Norrigton: What Marry Her <looks at Elizabeth> Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh <faints>
Young Elizabeth: <who has just spotted Will who is happily waving at her from a little row boat> Now need to worry Norrigton. My future husband is right there <points to Will>
Norrigton: <wakes up suddenly> Quick Haul him aboard!
Governor Swann: Nooooooooo!!! <grabs the helm and tries to steer the ship away>
Young Will: <climbs on board> Hello!
Governor Swann: Noooo <knocks Young Will out> DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!
Norrigton: Leave him alone! <grab Governor Swann and gets some of the crew to lock him in the brig>
Gibbs: Jesus Christ Banana’s!
Everyone apart from Will and Governor Swann: <looks at the burning ship>
Norrigton: Oh My God PIRATES <ducks down behind Elizabeth> Hide me
Gibbs: Now there is no proof of that…...Wait what am I saying!
Norrigton: PIRATES PIRATES PIRATES <faints again>
Random Crew Member: Er….Let go the anchor Um...get the little boats and go save some people…..If there is any to save!
Gibbs: <looks around> Hmm...Well since your father has been locked up and Norrigton is unconscious……..Elizabeth I want you to accompany the boy. He will be in your charge. Take care of him.
Young Elizabeth nods and goes over to Young Will.
Young Elizabeth: <pokes Young Will in the nose> He He He He
Young Will: <wakes up> Ow…..Who the hell are you.
Young Elizabeth: I’m Elizabeth Swann Your future wife.
Young Will: I’m Will Tuner…...but what make you think Ill marry you?
Young Elizabeth: I went to a physic and she told me!
Young Will: Nooooooooo <faints>
Young Elizabeth: How Rude….Fine Ill just go through your things <pulls out a limited edition Tazo from around his neck with a pretty little scull on one side and a ship on the other> Oh My God he is a Pirate! ………… Wait I already new that
Gibbs: What’s that you got there?
Young Elizabeth: <shoves the Tazo down her boobs> Nothing just uh….BOOBS!
Gibbs: You don’t have Boobs <looks at Young Elizabeth’s chest>
Young Elizabeth: Aaaaahhhh STOP LOOKING AT THEM….Ill have you hanged for this!
<runs up to the helm of the ship>
Bloody Hell that was close…..<looks out and sees the ship that was on the back of the Tazo> Meh?……...Oh my it’s the Blue Pebble….I wonder were there going?
-meanwhile on the Blue Pebble-
Twigg: Its that way <points north>
Barbossa: Na-Ah
Twigg: Ya-Ha
Barbossa: Na-Ah
Twigg: Ya-Ha
Barbossa: Na-Ah
Twigg: Ya-Ha
Barbossa: Na-Ah
Twigg: Ya-Ha
Barbossa: Why did I bloody give Seagull his compass back anyway?
Pintel: Sparrow I think you mean!
Bosun: Look there is a little girl looking at us!
Kohler: Swim Away Swim Away
Bosun: <steers the Blue Pebble away from the HMS Dumbass>
-back on the HMS Dumbass-
Young Elizabeth: <waves> Bye Bye……<looks at Tazo> …...Wait you forgot your Tazo thingy!! All well its my precious now
Gibbs: I thought you said you didn’t have anything?
Young Elizabeth: …...Uh………..Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh Gibbs is attacking Me HELP
Crew: <chucks Gibbs over board> Huzzah!
Elizabeth wakes up 8 years later with out her freckles and with her Boobs
Elizabeth: Oh my….What a lovely dream! Now where did I put that Tazo?
Tazo: Muahahahahahaha
Elizabeth: Huh? <opens draw in dresser but its empty> Weird I thought I put it there!
Tazo: <to audience> She is crazy She talks to herself!
Elizabeth: <looks under bed, behind painting, in chamber pot and under welcome mat>
Governor Swann: Elizabeth Darling? GET THE HELL UP!
Elizabeth: I am <looks down at boobs> Oh I found you <picks up Tazo>
Tazo: Blonde
Blondes: <glares>
Elizabeth: <shoves Tazo back down between her boobs just as Governor Swann barges in with Estella>
Governor Swann: What’s that you got there?
Elizabeth: Uh….BOOBS ….and don’t you be looking father. …...There for my future Husband <smiles>
Governor Swann: iwanttokillwillturnersoooooobad
Estella: iwantotkillelizabethswannsoooooobad
Elizabeth: What was that?
Governor Swann: Er...I have brought you a gift!
Elizabeth: Uh...Why?
Governor Swann: <cough> So you can impress the soon to be Commodore Norrigton who you will marry <cough> Do I need a reason to buy you a bloody dress?
Estella: <shoves box at Elizabeth>
Elizabeth: <opens box and finds a orange dress with fluro green baubles all over it> Father Its uh...Beautiful
Estella: <drags Elizabeth behind covers to change her dress>
Tazo: She can’t even dress herself
Governor Swann: Yes it is quiet lovely. Norrigton loves weird things like that so I thought It would be perfect.
Estella: <pulling corset on tightly> DIIIIE
Elizabeth: What’s <gasp> this got <cough> to do with <gag> Bloody <choke> James?
Governor Swann: Well you will be marrying him whether you both like it or not!
Elizabeth: I’m not marrying James. I’m marrying Will Turner!
Governor Swann: mustkillthatwillturnerifitsthelastthingido
Elizabeth: What was tha... Ow!
Estella: Sorry Miss your just really fat!
Elizabeth: I'm not Fat I'm pregnant! <smiles evilly>
Governor Swann: What?
Elizabeth: Uh….
Butler: <walks in> Will Turner Is here to see you sir!
Governor Swann: KIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL
Orlando Bloom Fans: Noooo
Governor Swann: Where the hell? Uh….. Never mind! <runs out of room> DIIIIIE
-downstairs-
Will: <not looking very nervous, mindlessly chopping up candles with the sword Governor Swann ordered>
No one can beat me Muahahahahahahahahaha
Puss in Boots (from Shrek2): <appears wearing his boots and holding another> Now ye whelp……. Pray for mercy from ….Puss in Boots! <draws sword>
Will: Ah-Ha an opponent. Now Prepare to Die!
Puss in Boots: I think not....Aaaaahhhh <gets sat on by Governor Swann who was running down the stair so fast he fell>
Governor Swann: Diiiiiie
Will: ….Uh?
Governor Swann: What are you doing here Turner?
Will: I have your order <holds up sword which is covered in candle wax>
Governor Swann: Gimme Gimme Gimme
Will: <hands sword over>
Governor Swann: DIIIIIIIIIE <goes to hack off Wills head but…..>
Elizabeth: Will? <feels boobs>
Will: Not you <jumps back just as Governor Swann goes to hack off his head>
Elizabeth: Don’t you think I look lovely Will?
Will: Uh….. <looks at dress in disgust> er yes just Lovely Miss Squirrel <cough> Sarcastic <cough>
Elizabeth: <comes down the stairs> Miss Swann and how many times have I asked you to call me Elizabeth?
Will: 9999999999999 plus 1 is 10000000000000
Elizabeth: Er…….I had a dream about you last night
Will: Do I hack off your head in it? <looks hopeful>
Elizabeth: No...It was about the time we first met. Do you remember?
Will: That time a called you a pansy and you said you made love to me while I was unconscious Miss Pigeon <shudders>
Elizabeth: <smiles> No that was 2 months ago. The time when we found you out in the middle of the ocean when your ship blew up and Its Miss Swann and how many times have I asked you to call me Elizabeth.
Will: 10000000000001 times and I know your name is Miss Swann I’m just saying otherwise to annoy you Miss Jellyfish
Elizabeth: Its Miss Swann and how many…
Will: Oh how I would love to Hack of your head right now Miss Chipmunk
Elizabeth: Oh My Did you here that father he said love and my name in one sentence. If only he forgot the hacking part!
Governor Swann: ihowiwouldlovetohackoffyourheadwillturner Ah-Hem I mean we should be going no Elizabeth Good day Mr Turner <cough> Not <cough>
Elizabeth: Goodbye my love <waves to Will as she is pushed out the door by her father>
Will: Good day Miss Hairnet and may you burn in hell <walks out>
-in carriage-
Governor Swann: I do hope you act more like THAT around Norrigton. You will be marrying him after all and when you do Ill...um ill buy you the best dress you have ever seen in your life.
Elizabeth: Are you bribing me?
Governor Swann: What of coarse not!
Elizabeth: You are so!
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so
Governor Swann: Am not
Elizabeth: Are so times infinity. I'm NOT marrying Norrigton I'm marrying Will when he becomes a pirate
Governor Swann: notetoselfhackofwillsheadbeforehebecomesapirate
Elizabeth: What?…..Did you say your going to hack Will’s head off?
Governor Swann: Uh...Um….Er...Oh look where here <quickly jumps out of carriage>
Elizabeth: Hmmm….<follows>
((((I need 2 get out more 😆 )))
The scene after the next scene starts
The scene after the Next scene: I want a new name!
Director: Shut Up
The scene after the next scene shuts up and Jack finally comes into view standing on the sail thingy without any boots.
Johnny Depp fans: Eeeeekk
Orlando Bloom fans: Boooring
Brianna the Random Johnny Depp fan: <shoots Kacie the random Orlando Bloom fan> Shut Up
Kacie the Random Orlando Bloom fan: <dies>
Jack: ……..er
Jolly Mon: …….er <sinking>…..I’m Sinking NOOOOO
Jack: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh It talks <falls off sail thingy>
Jolly Mon: Uh….um…….I don’t talk
Jack: ...Oh…..Good <stands up and sees the hanged pirates and the sign>
Sign: Don’t read me You will die in 7 days
Jack: <read sign> 7 days…..Bloody Hell
Hung Pirates: Its true We wouldn’t be here other wise
Jack: <ignores the sign and the hung pirates> Not Listening Not Listening <arrives at dock with the Jolly Mon now completely sunk>
Jolly Mon: I’m Meeeellllting
Jack: <who forgot to stand back on the sail thingy is now very wet> Bloody Boat!
Harbor Master: Hey you It’s a shilling to tie your boat up at the dock!
Jack: How about 2 Gum Nuts, an Ice-cream Cone and a Rubber Ducky…...Oh and we forget the name <squeezes Rubber Ducky a couple times>
Rubber Ducky: Stop Bloody Squeezing Me You Bloody Pi...Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
Jack: <throws Rubber Ducky over head and into the water> Lets forget the Rubber Ducky shall we!
Rubber Ducky: How dare you throw me away. Just you watch Ill take over the world Mwahahahaha
Harbor Master: Deal <takes the 2 Gum Nuts and the Ice-cream cone> Welcome to Port Robme Mr Smurph!
Jack: Smurph? <shrugs an swaggers down the docks grabbing the Harbor Masters bag of Voo Doo stuff along the way>
-meanwhile at the fort-
Elizabeth: zzzzzzzzzz <snoring head off loudly>
Norrigton: <jumping up and down childlike yelling> I'm going to be the Commodore of Port Robme….. I’M going to be the Commodore of Port Robme!
Governor Swann: <hands Norrigton the sword happily jumping up and down as well> Your going to marry my daughter or ill fire your ass
Norrigton: What?….That wasn’t part of the deal
Governor Swann: Is now
Norrigton: Ow Do I have to?
Governor Swann: Yes!
-back at the Docks-
Jack: <wanders down the dock which Murtogg and Mullroy are playing Barbie's at>
Murtogg: No Barbie I don’t want a cup of tea right now I need to go to the dentists! <makes Ken doll walk>
Mullroy: Aww but Ken It would only take 5 minutes
Murtogg: Oh....Ok Barbie anything for you <makes Ken give Barbie an kiss>
Jack: Er...Excuse me
Murtogg and Mullroy: Aaaaahhhh <hides Barbie and Ken behind there backs>
Murtogg: Er...This dock is off limits to civilians
Jack: and...what Barbie and Ken aren’t civilians?
Mullroy: Uh….We don’t know what your talking about
Jack: Riiight….<turns to the Unintelligent>…...Nice ship….<points to HMS Dumbass> That 1’s bigger though!
Murtogg: Nah….Ah-Hem Yes but the Unintelligent is the fastest ship in the Caribbean while the HMS Dumbass is well…..the slowest.
Mullroy: Yep...There aint a faster ship in the Caribbean!
Jack: Cool
Murtogg: Uh…<looks around blankly>
Mullroy: Er...Aren’t you meant to say there is a faster ship in the Caribbean
Jack: What Is there?
Murtogg: No that’s what you are meant to say!
Jack: Oh yeah….I've herd of one. Its very fast...hasn’t ever been caught….can’t remember what its called though!
Murtogg and Mullroy: <waits patiently for Jack to remember>
Jack: What was it….Black Pearl...No….Pink Bunny….No….Blue Pebble….Blue Pebble that’s it
Mullroy: Ha There is NO real ship that can beat the Unintelligent
Jack: What so you said that there is a ship that can to get me to remember then you tell me I’m lie…
Murtogg: The Black Pearl is a real ship
Mullroy: Nope your wrong
Murtogg: But I've seen it
Mullroy: Nope your still wrong
Jack: <wanders onto the Unintelligent>
Murtogg: But its crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out. Remembered
Mullroy: Nope your wrong! The Blue Pebble is a real ship NOT the Black Pearl.
Murtogg: Well then The Blue Pebble is a real ship its crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil hell itself spat him back out. Is that what your saying?
Mullroy: Nope your wrong again. The Blue Pebble is crewed by the freaky and captained by a man so mutated that the circus itself spat him back out. That’s what I'm saying!
Murtogg: Oh...Well I’ve never seen that ship so…<turns to Jack> As He said there is no Real ship that can match the Unintelligent
Mullroy: Hey where did he go?
Murtogg: Aaaaahhhhh He was a wizard and he just Disparated <faints>
Mullroy: Meh?….<looks up at the Unintelligent> Hey we told you your not aloud up there. I'm telling on you!
Jack: No don’t Ill be good
Mullroy: Oh that’s good then <climbs on the Unintelligent> Well lets go before we get in trouble off Commodore <cough> Pansy <cough> Norrigton
Jack: Just Kidding <starts playing around at the Helm> Zoom Zoom Zoom
Mullroy: Noooo Stop It your not allowed!
Murtogg: <wakes up and runs onto the Unintelligent> Hey get down from there now!
Jack: Sorry!!…...Its just a pretty boat
Murtogg: Ship!
Jack: Boat
Murtogg: No SHIP
Jack: Boat
Murtogg: No Ship S-H-I-P
Jack: Oh….Ship
Mullroy: What’s your name?
Jack: Er...What did he say it was...oh yeah Smurph!
Murtogg: Smurph...Ok...Well Mr Smurph what's your purpose in Port Robme?
Mullroy: and No lying...Its not very nice!
Jack: It isn’t?…..Oh Ok then...Well in that case I came to commandeer a ship take it off somewhere and blow it up just so I can watch it burn Muahahahaha Ah-Hem Yes….So am I aloud?
Mullroy: Ill go ask my mummy!
-back at the fort-
Norrigton: You look lovely today Elizabeth
Elizabeth: I’m Dieing
Norrigton: Yes that’s lovely…….Can I have the dress?
Elizabeth: What?
Norrigton: Can I have the dress? I would look great in it I think <cough> Er...I mean for my mother that is!
Elizabeth: I’m still dieing
Norrigton: We are all going to die some day
Elizabeth: I’m mean like now This dress is <cough> killing me
Norrigton: What now?
Elizabeth: Yes now
Norrigton: Oh shit….Well I better ask you now before you do or I will get fired
Elizabeth: Haven’t you thought It might be a good idea to <splutter> try and save me?
Norrigton: Not really…...Elizabeth...Will you marry Me?
Elizabeth: What?….Aaaaahhhh I’m not dieing quick enough <jumps off the fort>
Norrigton: I’ll take that as a Yes then shall I?
Elizabeth falls into the other scene by plummeting into the water causing the biggest splash ever and getting her name into the Caribbean World Record Book. Not that really makes much scenes to call it that but anyway.
Jack: and then the Rubber Ducky said he was going to take over the world <hears splash> Ow Little Mermaid <points to Elizabeth>
Murtogg: That’s aint a mermaid that’s a girl.
Mullroy: No I think it’s a man!
Jack: Should you be saving her?
Murtogg: I can’t swim <cough> Lying <cough>
Mullroy: I got a note from my mum that I'm not aloud to get my new shoes wet! <looks at Jack> but your not wearing any so you can do it
Jack: But that’s unfair some cat stole the…
Murtogg: <pushes Jack in> Whoops!
Jack: Bloody Cat <starts swimming towards Elizabeth>
Tazo: <jumps out from in-between Elizabeth's Boobs> I’m Free <water vibrates>
Mullroy: <making faces just as the wind changes because of the Tazo> Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh My face
Murtogg: What was that?
Mullroy: My Face My face!
Jack: <gets to Elizabeth and rips her dress off>
Elizabeth: Hey there was no need for that
Jack: Your meant to be unconscious <knocks Elizabeth out>
Elizabeth: <knocked out>
Jack: <drags her onto the docks>
Murtogg: She isn’t breathing <rips corset off> Hey that should of worked. Why didn’t it?
Jack: Uh...Dunno!
Mullroy: My face My face! <falls on Elizabeth and wakes her up>
Elizabeth: Aaaaahhhh Get off of me! <pushes Mullroy off her and into the water>
Mullroy: <drowns>
Norrigton, Governor Swann and a few more Navy Officers appear on the scene.
Norrigton: You saved her <starts crying hysterically> Why? Why?…..I thought I was going to be freeeeee
Everyone gives Norrigton a strange look but he just continues to cry and complain.
Norrigton: I was going to fly to mars, make friends with little green men and live happily ever after with Chez the girl who always gets stuck on the moon but NOOOOOOO! You had to go save her so I’m stuck marrying her again.
Elizabeth: You mean you DON’T actually want to marry me? YIPPE <starts dancing around happily>
Jack: Ok....I think I’ll be leaving you people are CRAZY!
Governor Swann: At least let us thank you for saving my beautiful daughter.
Jack: Uh….
Governor Swann: Oh good you agree <grabs Jack and starts leading him down the docks> We will have a great party with lots of balloons! I like balloons.
Jack: We will be able to get drunk wont we?
Norrigton: What? We didn’t have balloons at my promotion ceremony! THAT’S UNFAIR. There is to be no party
Governor Swann: Aww
Murtogg: Commodore I think he is a pirate <points at Jack>
Norrigton: P-P-P-PIRATE?? Aaaaahhhh….Um That’s uh not good <looks nervous>
Elizabeth: Pirate….My husband is going to be a pirate!
Governor Swann: mentalnotemustkillbloodyturner
Jack: I’m not a pirate You can even check my arms to see if there is a P
Norrigton: <looking a little calmer> Ok…<checks and finds a P as well as the Sparrow tattoo>
Jack: Er...SHIT...That P stands for uh….pirate….DOUBLE SHIT…..I mean pedestrian.
Norrigton: Riiight….I believe you <cough> lying <cough> Jack Penguin isn’t it <looks as though he is smart>
Jack: Penguin?
Norrigton: Yep This tattoo tells me everything. The picture of the penguin obviously shows your name is penguin.
Jack: My name is NOT Penguin and where on the tattoo does it tell you my name is Jack??
Norrigton: Uh…..Um…...That is a Penguin
Murtogg: <looks at tattoo> No it’s a Dodo
Jack: Dodo?
Elizabeth: No it’s a Kiwi
Jack: Kiwi?
Governor Swann: What's a Penguin, Kiwi and a Dodo?
Elizabeth: They are birds that can’t fly. Though the Dodo is instinct
A Kiwi appears on deck looking angry
Kiwi: Kiwi’s can so Fly….Ill show you. Ill fly and then ill take over the world and everybird will know me as KILLER KIWI Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha I CAN FLY <jumps off side of dock and lands on Rubber Ducky and off they go>
Jack: Ok…..Crazy people and animals.
Murtogg: I still think it is a Dodo
Elizabeth: Kiwi
Norrigton: Penguin
Murtogg: Dodo
Elizabeth: Kiwi
Norrigton: Penguin
Murtogg: Dodo
Elizabeth: Kiwi
Norrigton: Penguin
Murtogg: Dodo
Elizabeth: KIWI
Norrigton: PENGUIN
Murtogg: DODO
Jack: Your ALL crazy ….. Though you will all remember this as the day you nearly caught Captain Jack Sparrow <is ignored by everyone> Fine then be that way <shakes his head leaving to go into town to find a good tavern>
Elizabeth: KIWI
Norrigton: PENGUIN
Murtogg: DODO
Elizabeth: KIWI
Norrigton: PENGUIN
Murtogg: DODO
Elizabeth: KIWI
Norrigton: PENGUIN
Murtogg: DODO
Governor Swann: Hey where did the Pirate go?
Norrigton: <hits Murtogg> You fool you let him get away!
Murtogg: Ow….I did not
Norrigton: Did so
Murtogg: Did not
Norrigton: Did so
Elizabeth: He is over there <points to Jack who is happily strolling away and into town>
Norrigton: <hits Murtogg again> Well go get him
Murtogg: Ow...Get stuffed I Quit
Norrigton: What? You can’t do that
Murtogg: I can’t? Oh...I’ll go after him then <runs after Jack>
(((That be all Ive got done so far ✅ )))
“Anamaria.” He said before a hand cut across his cheek and he spun for the third time in two days to stare at Will.
“I suppose you didn’t deserve that one either.” He said, and Jack was pissed to see a small smile on his face. Jack shook his head.
“No, that one I deserved.” He said, turning.
“You stole my boat!” She yelled. Jack wasn’t going to take this...stupid thing had hardly made it to port Royal and there fore hadn’t been a very good...bargain.
“Actually...” He began but only received another stinging slap that made his eyes water. “Borrowed!” He yelled, “Borrowed with out permission. But with every intention of bringing it back to you!” Anamaria’s face turned angrier.
“But you didn’t!” She yelled. Jack backed off, cowering.
“You’ll get another one!” He said. Anamaria raised her hand threateningly.
“I will?” She asked. Jack was thinking as the boy behind him piped up.
“A better one.” Jack was so relieved he could have kissed him.
“A better one.” He repeated, playing off Will. Maybe he wasn’t such a whelp after all.
“That one.” Will said. Jack shook himself mentally...no, he was still a whelp. Turning, he glared at Will.
“What one?” Will pointed to the Interceptor. “That one?” Will nodded and Jack knew he was defeated. Turning back to the angry woman, he agreed. “Aye, that one. What say you?”
“Jack Sparrow...” Blah, Blah, Blah. Jack stood there, board out of his mind as the hangman read out his crimes. Would he ever shut up? If he read them all out they’d be there all day and Jack would have found a way to escape. “Be it known that you have...” Suddenly it struck him.
“Captain...Captain Jack Sparrow.” He said, faintly annoyed. God, they were hanging him, the least they could do was get his name right.
“For your willful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature.” Sinister! Sinister his ass, it was called survival. “The most egregious of these to be cited herewith – piracy –” True. “Smuggling –” Jack had to think a moment, he’d never smuggled, in less you counted...oh yeah! With the Lister and that one time with the Seeker! He’d completely forgotten. He hadn’t thought they’d known. “Impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy...” To get them out of jail...should have left Dick in there to rot but Dana... “Impersonating a cleric of the Church of England.” Jack smiled, that poor man...probably more hurt by being knocked out and left in his starkies then anything.
“Oh yeah...” Jack smiled at the memory and looked over at the hangman who scowled.
“Sailing under false colors...” What the hell did that mean? Black and white were real colors! Maybe though, he meant the British flag he’d fly to draw ships closer. “Arson.” That was untrue, that fire was an accident. “Kidnapping.” When? Elizabeth? He’d taken her for what, a minute? Oh, maybe that woman, the one who had been praying. That he could understand “Looting...” Who didn’t do that, honestly? He’d been shot in Nassau; they couldn’t use that as a plausible situation. “Poaching...” When? Oh yeah... “Brigandage...” okay, they had him there. “Pilfering...” And there. “Depravity...” What man was not innocent of that? Come on. “And general lawlessness.” Of course, Pirate! “And for these crimes, you have been sentenced to be, on this day, hung by the neck until dead.” That was the general idea. “May god have mercy on your soul.” Yeah right, when had god ever shown mercy?