The Joy of Jury Duty

Well, today was the big day. Over the past week I've been in a sort of funk because I knew that within a few short days, I'd have to go to Jury Duty and find out if I would have to be assigned to a Jury or if I would be set free. Anyways, here is my adventure today..

Last night I set my alarm for 6:30AM (I had to be at the stupid courthouse at 7:45, and it's a 30 minute drive.) I also ended up falling asleep at about 3:30 am, I went to bed at around midnight, but couldn't sleep because I knew if I fell asleep I'd have to wake up early to go to the shitty courthouse. You can imagine the joy I was feeling last night as I drifted to sleep for a whole 3 hours.

I awoke to the funfilled sound of my alarm, buzzing a beeping louder then C3P0 on speed. I struggled to turn off the alarm as it seemed to get louder and louder. Finally, with a swift slam of my fist against the clock/radio/alarm, it turned off. I then uttered some swear words under my breath as I layed in bed waiting for that wonderful sound of my father knocking at my door telling me that it was time to go. (I got somewhat lucky, the courthouse I was assigned to happened to be about a block away from where he works, so I was able to hitch a ride with him). I stumbled out of bed, put on some pants (that's right, I sleep in the nude, settle down Tex) and wandered into the bathroom to brush my teeth and put on deodarant. I didn't bother showering, seeing as I wanted to look as unkempt and dirty as possible in order to ensure a bad first impression should I actually get called into a courtroom for actual jury selection. Finally, i threw on a T-shirt and left the house.

My dad was used to waking up this early, so he was cheerful, god bless him. He took me to Mcdonalds and purchased some Suasage Mcmuffins for us. It was one of the few times I was awake early enough to enjoy the delicious breakfast sandwiches that Mickey D's (as the cool kids who do drugs call it) provides. I dozed off in the car for a while, awoken by the sound of my dads voice telling me to wake up, we had arrived. I exited the car with my bag of goodies to keep me occupied (Some PC Gamer Magazines, my Gameboy Advance, and a comic book my friend let me borrow about zombies).

I stood before a large building, very unpleasant and intimidating. I walked through the big doors to see a metal detector. I went through it, went up stairs to the "Jury Assembly Room" where us potential jurors are herded to. We were then instructed to sit down and await further instructions. I sat down on one of the few couches that were strown about, and relaxed.

About 30 minutes later, a woman who was way to happy to be there came on the microphone and started giving instructions and information about what the plan for the day was. You could tell she was actually getting paid to be there, unlike me, who was only there because of the idle threat on the envelope of the juror notification letter I recieved ("NOTICE THIS IS A JUROR NOTIFICATION LETTER, DO NOT IGNORE, FAILURE TO COMPLY MAY RESULT IN A FINE AND AN ARREST." Yeah, great way to get people to show up, when in doubt, threaten people and take away their god given "Freedom" that you dipshits tout with such pride. Sorry, but being forced to wake up at 6 am to go to a large, uncomfortable building for a full day WITHOUT getting paid is not freedom. ****ing hypocrits, "civic duty" my ass). This women then put on a fun filled propoganda video saying how "important" jury duty is, and how interesting and fun filled it can be. I watched with a scowl on my face, wanting to show each and every persons face in taht video the business end of a shovel. Finally the nazi....er...Jury bullshit video ended, and to my surprise a judge actually took the mic and started talking to us. He seemed like a nice enough fellow, although for a judge, he was extremely poorly spoken, he stuttered all the time and mispronounced words regularly, an obvious advocator of George W Bush. Anyways, the guy was decent enough, untill he started making these horrificly ridiculous comparisons of the war in Iraq too Jury duty. I was to shocked by these lies to really remember them. (He said something along the lines of - "We're living in somethign of a police state, we never know when or if a terrorist attack may happen and it's up to each and every citizen to do what they can to help. I know what you're saying 'What can I, a simple citizen, do to help our country in this dire time?' Well, you can serve as a juror." As soon as I heard this I laughed out loud, luckily I was behind a wall so he didn't see me, but still, it was one of the most stupid statements I've ever heard.

Anyways, the rest of the day consisted of me sitting on a couch reading magazines and my friends comic book. I'd doze off to sleep occasionally, and surprise surprise, they never called me into a courtroom for questioning. I sat there idly, and I could have simply not shown up and no one would have known. I went home feeling both happy and upset. Happy because I didn't have to worry about being on a juror, thus having to go back to that hell hole. And upset because I should have just followed my instinct and ignore that bullshit threat that they give on the envelope, and simply stayed home.

Well, they won't fool me twice, next time I get a jury summons, it's going where it belongs, right in the trash. Luckily the day promises to get much better, seeing as Doom 3, one of the most highly anticipated PC games of all time is going to be available for purchase in a matter of hours. Perhaps blowing zombies heads off will get my mind off of my wanting to blow judges and lawyers heads off.

Oh, one more thing. I suggest everyone who ever gets a juror notification letter in the mail do exactly the same thing I'm going to do next time - Toss it in the trash.

ummmm just say something outragious that disqualifies you to serve on the jury if they question you 😕 You can be arrested if you ignore them or be heavily fined.... my grandma did 😖

The gov't doesn't keep track of who they send summons to? 😖

That's what it says, but no one ever actually get fined. I know several people who throw their letter away, and nothing ever happens. Even if something does happen and they try to make a big deal about it, you can use the fool proof defense "I never got anything in the mail, perhaps it was lost". They can't prove it was or wasn't lost. The worst they'll do is reschedule you.

It's not that I'm afraid of being selected for Jury duty, it's just a huge pain to waste a whole day to go and idly sit there doing nothing for no reason.

😂 nice.

AS if you could get arrested for not turning up for jury duty....😕 I know i should probably know that, but i didnt.

jury duty is the bane of all law abiding citizens. why should i suffer for something this assh*le did on his own time? stop wastingmy time and pick the victim's family as the jurors. the crime rate will drop dramatically, i imagine... "it is your duty as an american citizen" MY A$$!!! my duty as an american is to punch that assh*le's face in for wasting the taxpayers' dollars.

if everyone did that then the lawsystem would fall apart 😖 😬

I was called for jury duty a few months ago. We all sat around for a while in a nice big room with comfortable chairs and a snack machine, then got moved to a court room and sat around some more on uncomfortable benches, until we were moved back to the first room and sat around there until about noon. All told, we spent three and a half hours sitting around with nothing to do, and in the end, the bastard defendant pleaded guilty, making it all for nothing. But (and this is the important part), we were paid for our troubles, so I don't really mind.

And honestly, I was happy to do my part for the justice system. I don't know why you lot are so negative about it.

Originally posted by RaventheOnly
if everyone did that then the lawsystem would fall apart 😖 😬

i'm just saying... 'cause i've been called for it and it was soooooooo f*cking boring.

ya but trial by jury is important and can you believe the amount of boredom the judge goes through 😖 or the bailif!!! 😖

Originally posted by Gregory
I was called for jury duty a few months ago. We all sat around for a while in a nice big room with comfortable chairs and a snack machine, then got moved to a court room and sat around some more on uncomfortable benches, until we were moved back to the first room and sat around there until about noon. All told, we spent three and a half hours sitting around with nothing to do, and in the end, the bastard defendant pleaded guilty, making it all for nothing. But (and this is the important part), we were paid for our troubles, so I don't really mind.

And honestly, I was happy to do my part for the justice system. I don't know why you lot are so negative about it.

Do your part? You just said all you did is sit there and you weren't even used. That equates to a day of yours wasted because the law system of this country is sloppy beyond belief. You didn't do anything, you just bought into the bullshit propoganda they feed you while you're there. "It's your duty, it's your civic duty, we depend on you for justice". It's a crock of shit. Plus, they actually FORCE people to do it. They make them, and if they don't do it they get punished. I'm a completely innocent person, I've never commited a crime of any sort or ever hurt anyone, why should I be FORCED to waste a day of mine just because of this countries poor judicial system. It's a crock of shit, nothing more.

Also, you were actually paid for your time, that's why it was worthwhile. I was not paid. The law of california is a "prospective juror will not be paid for the first day of service". Yeah, that's really fair, I spend my only day off sitting around with nothing to do but look at a bunch of ugly people and being fed bullshit by an ugly judge with a stuttering problem. It's a bunch of shit. 'Do your part', what part? The judge could do the job of a full jury by himself, and he'd do a far better job I bet.

Originally posted by RaventheOnly
ya but trial by jury is important and can you believe the amount of boredom the judge goes through 😖 or the bailif!!! 😖

Again, they actually get paid for their time. I can't stress this enough.

Originally posted by BackFire
I suggest everyone who ever gets a juror notification letter in the mail do exactly the same thing I'm going to do next time - Toss it in the trash.

waaaay ahead of you

Paying jury does exactly what it shouldnt....pays the jury 😖 they warent ment to be payed because they decide if someone is guilty or not.

In England, you can do this volenteraly, you dont get called on it.

Ah, good to hear. Now tell me wuTa, you've thrown your letter in the garbage. Has anything ever come about from it?

Originally posted by lil bitchiness
Paying jury does exactly what it shouldnt....pays the jury 😖 they warent ment to be payed because they decide if someone is guilty or not.

In England, you can do this volenteraly, you dont get called on it.

That would be fine by me, volenteering makes alot more sense to me. But surely you can agree that if you're forced to do something like waste a day of your life, you should be compinsated for that time.

Originally posted by BackFire
That would be fine by me, volenteering makes alot more sense to me. But surely you can agree that if you're forced to do something like waste a day of your life, you should be compinsated for that time.

Oh yeah, absolutely. I think its a waste of time the fact they make you do it in the first place, especially if you dont want to. 👇

I agree. Maybe I'll move to the UK.

Believe me, you'd fit right in overhere!