The Resistance - Off-Topic/Social Thread!

The more you study, the more you learn. The more you learn the more you know. The more you know the more you forget, the less you know.

My friends are the kinda people that if someone says something way inappropriate its normal in our conversation.

I do it because i can, I can because I want to, I want to because everybody said I couldn't.

Why did the squirrel sleep on its stomach? To keep its nuts warm!!

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned in life: it goes on.

Boredom makes me do stupid things.

So glad Veep is back

interviewer: your application lists "standing up to authority" as a strength, give me an example

me: **** off

interviewer: oh you're good

speak softly and carry a big stick. Just in case you meet a giant dog

[watching porn in hell] not bad

[the guy starts to cum and it's bees] oh that's right

Looking at an Airbnb listing that says "the house is not haunted," which means it was 100% written by a ghost

technically a bed is a ravioli

coworkers still haven’t noticed i put salt instead of sugar in my coffee

Me: SWALLOW, SWALLOW

Them: You're making the drinking of this milkshake really uncomfortable

Me: SWALLOOOOOOOOOOOW

So here is a real thing that happened this weekend at the morgue: we received 3 skeletons in a FedEx box with several powders, some statuary and a magnetic stone inlaid into an amulet all of which were on their way to Florida to be used in a voodoo ritual.

young man, there are rats all around
I said young man, get those rats out of town
I said young man, in the river they’ll drown
there’s no need to pay you money

The best way to make sure your brand is still relevant is to make a fake product that no one can actually buy and post about it on the same day as every other brand in the world

Is there a bigger lie the populous so readily believed than "Fun size"

I’ll tell you one thing I’ve learnt: Department store make up assistants do not like it when you climb up on the stool and ask for a tiger.