My Poems x.x;

A breakdown.. just what I needed to start writing dark poems again. Whee.. x.x;;
And to think.. i don't cut, burn, and hardly think about suicide O_O;
I have like.. 47 poems already.. yay. go me.. x.x; O_o;

The broken mirror
You used to look in
The blood around you
And your clenched fist
Put the glass down
Don't hake a mistake
Alone with the mirror
You start to shake
You can't bleed out your lies, hopes, or dreams
You can't bleed out lost words, mistakes and your regrets
Just you and your mirror
So lonely and wet
You shake, as a tear rolls down your lonely face
Please look up, into your own eyes
Be strong, take off your stupid disguise
Think of the love
Someone could give
Think for your future
Look down at your fist
Gently unclench them
Put down the shard of glass
Wipe the blood and tears, off your face
Today starts your future

A cut for every time I've lied
A cut for every tear I hide
A cut for every word unsaid
A cut for every time I wish to be dead
A cut for every untold word
A cut for every cry unheard
A cut for every friendship lost
A cut for every unpaid cost
A cut for every tear I've cried
A cut for every soul that died
A cut for every hell I've made
A cut for everything tonight I've paid

The broken girl, come and see
Throw stones at her, it's free
No need to do so, she breaks on her own
That's why she's standing all alone
Her hands are razors to make you bleed
Embrace herself in times of need
So her blades can kiss her skin
Release the voices from within
Tears fall from her eyes, so blank
Face corroded from the poison she drank
No life left in her at all
Only ghosts to make her fall
Only words to make her cry
Only screams of questions why
Smash the pieces on the floor
Pick them up and hurt me more
Cause that's all i want to see...
This broken girl in me.

I'll sit in a corner
Dark as night
Crying, Bleeding
Not being able to fight

I'll paint you a picture
With blood from my wrist
I'll show you what it's lie
To not be missed

I'll write you a poem
Showing words of my pain
I'll invite you into my thoughts
Of suicide filling my brain

I'll write you a song
From memories of my childhood
Letting you hear my scream
Are you scared to see, you should

All these things
That I'll do
I'll never share
because my fear is you

I'll keep pretending
To be something I'm not
If you don't like who I am
Call me names, give it your best shot

Now tell me
Are you scared to see
All my feelings
Of the real me

I bet you are
But I don't care
Say what you want
I still won't share

Your words sting
Like daggers in my eyes
And every time I cry
My mind feeds me more lies

To end my story
I'll tell you one thing
My death is my music
And now I begin to sing

I've been walking now
For over an hour
In the pouring rain
just thinking of you

The lightning strikes
and my heart beats faster
The stars come out
and I wish you were here

The moon looks down
And sings a song
The wind pushes me forward
and I glow dimly

You're so far away
How could I expect
you can't know my love
It's so strong

One day you will know
when my love exceeds my fears
but until then my hair is wet
and I shake in the cold
just waiting for you.

My little corner of hell
all on its own
its right there to tear me down
it has always bit at my ankles
but now its taken a piece
of my existance
a piece of me
my little corner of hell
visits often
i try not to close my eyes
for they never will reopen
i whisper words
for i fear screaming
you cant hear me
i can see you clearly
please dont call my name
i dont want to look back
please dont remember
the things i've said
just remember me being happy
my little corner of hell
eats me alive
feeding from my soul
i thrive to survive
holding onto fragmented memories
of you and i
life is horrible
right about now
i fear my ressurection
in my little corner of hell

i hate the person you've become
all your emotions are numb
you can't see, you can't feel
nothing anymore seems real

i hate everything about you
everything you say and do
i can't stand how you act
on everything you turned your back

it's like you don't care anymore
but you have so much to live for
seeing you now makes me want to cry
you've just seemed to let your self die

you've set up this invisible wall
where you look and act so tall
but i know who you are deep within
i can see all the hurt and pain you're in

there is so much pain you try and hide
but i know the tears you've cried
you lie awake crying at night
never knowing which feeling is right

and i want you to know what i see
all the potential of everything you could be
i see all the people that love you
and hearing all this hurts you too

they'll all help bring the old you back
to get you on the right track
so you can finally be happy with yourself
with life, love, and everything else

just give it one last thought tonight
when your laying in bed crying at night
think of everything you used to be
remember all the happiness we could see

so i hope you decide not to stay numb
because i really hate who you've become
and this is all i have left to say
as i turn from the mirror and walk away...

i cant be what you want
so i will call it quits today
no more trying to hold on
it has to be this way

i am a disappointment
and i cant do it anymore
i will let it all go
as the tears start to pour

i am crying right now
as i don't want to say goodbye
but i have let you all down
for that i just want to die

i will call it quits today
on more poems from me
i will go into the dark
and think about the person i am suppose to be

i don't think anyone understands
i have alot to confess
i haven't done what alot of people think
but in reality i have done alot less

people make me look like i am worse
then what i really am
no one cares what i say
so i will become the sacrificial lamb

i cant hurt you all anymore
so i will take away your pain
i am the one who kills you all
the reason for all your shame

i will cut the life away
i am sorry to you all
but i feel that isn't enough
now i will cut and start my never ending fall

goodbye and i love you
i am sorry i wasn't stronger
but your life full of pain and shame
i could stand no longer

here you go i am the reason that you feel
i yet out the last scream for forgiveness
and i hope you all find your heaven
for me now i must end my nothingness

I see you sitting there
on the bathroom floor
a rusted razor by your side
Hoping you wont be alive anymore.

The wound marks on you arms
are memories of mine.
Just think that i was here
yesterday at nine.

You look at me
with you swollen eyes
knowing you cant lie
this time.

You cover up the mark
that you recently made
knowing that someone knows
what you have done with that blade.

With and strange look
upon my face
you stare at me
looking disgraced.

You say that you know
the pain I went through
and that you
felt it too.

I start to cry just thinking
that someone understands.
My best friend there
with blood in her hands.

I feel more secure
knowing I'm not the only one
that feels just as uneasy
in this big world.

Than just in an instant.
My eyes close and reopen.
I'm in my bed I lie
lonely and sad again.

You murdered me
Killed me in cold blood
Made me fall
Left me here to die
All I ever wanted was friendship
Never meant any harm
Never expected to be left out in the cold
I asked for a second chance
Would have got down on my knees and begged
To be spared
To be forgiven
You ignored me and pushed me to the ground
Forced to be miserable
You took my joy, my fear, my heart, my life
No regret
No remorse
Now,I'm lying here
All alone, lying in pain
Lying in heartache
Now that you're gone
I'm stabbed with pain
Pierced with eternal depression
Deteriorating my heart
Disintegrating my sanity
Vanishing my mind
Condemning my soul
Trapped with guilt
Heavy burdens and regrets
It all seems never ending
All the excruciating pain you've left me with
Yet I miss you though
Your presence
Your warmth
I'm left with a severed heart
It won't heal
For it is tattered and torn
Broken and bruised
Only hoping you can feel my pain
The torn aching feeling of betrayal
Death seems to be the only way out
Only if I could give up now
I'm going to try to be strong & hold on
Pain begins to trickle down my cheeks
Love seems to be my greatest weakness
Memories flood my mind
You walked away
Turned your back on me
You took the biggest part of me with you
Left me here to die
I cry one last tear,
Whisper your name one last time,
Close my eyes and wait to die
Pain becomes unbearable
Unsure of my fate
I loved you and I missed you
I'll heal from this soon enough
I'll watch over you always

I'm going to have to let go,
Because you are not even there.
I'm going to have to quit praying,
That someday you will care.

I'm going to have to give up,
And never turn around.
Because just looking in your eyes,
I see my love you have found.

I'm going to have to tell you,
About how i feel.
I'm going to have to make you believe,
That i am for real.

I'm going to have to be smarter,
And put down my knife.
I'm going to have to toughen up.
No more cries.

I'm going to have to look around,
And see what i've caused.
I'm going to have to stop lieing about it,
And just hit pause.

I'm going to have to tell you,
About what i'v done.
I'm going to have to understand,
That you are not the one.

I'm going to have to wake up,
For everything thats fake.
I'm going to start loving myself,
And reject all the hate.

I'm going to have to stop trying,
To make you fall for me.
I'm going to have to comprehend,
We were never meant to be.

I'm going to have to realize,
That you never really cared.
And im going to finally let you go,
And stop that wishing you cared.

I'd leave it all behind
To find what I'm looking for
But perhaps it's here?
That's why I'm afraid to leave,
And why I wear my heart on my sleeve,
Because I don't want to miss it
But what am I looking for,
With my eyes sore
From crying myself to sleep
From these scars that run deep
From the knife to my wrists
One second in utter bliss
Feeling the knife's kiss
I think I get the gist.
It's all just a game
Nothing ever remains the same
There's nothing I ever became
Because it's anticipated
And sometimes the pain is merely belated
Never quite dry the tears
Brought on from the fears
That nothing is here
And watch the gears turn
Watch myself burn
And imagine the urn
No one with concern
Never leave a note
Thinking it will be an antidote
To help THEM through
Because they're the same as me or you
Keeping things locked up inside
Concealing the lies
Now mix in the chemicals
To accentuate the pain
Face it
There's nothing to gain
And while the outside may change
The inside stays the same
And I can't bear the pain
Because the paper's long been crumpled up
And it will never be perfect again
Watch yourself fade away during the day
Watch your pain be realized
Come alive
At the slightest thing
Just a price to pay
To get us through the day
But eventually
There won't be a way
So pretend while you can
And watch how the sand
Slips through the glass
Just trying to harass
Your thought process
Feel once again the caress
Of the cold steel against your skin
Like living is some sort of sin
Knowing there's no way to start again
But the blood tells you
You're still alive
But is that what you want?
To know that you live with a heavy heart
That's slowly tearing you apart?
That's what the knife whispers to me
Through the tears of agony
It knows I'll be back
After another attack
Because it's my only real friend
It knows the real me
Because the others don't see
That my smile often falters
Under the weight of these lies
And this twisted web of blood and fear
Strangles me, reassuring me that nothings here
But I'm not the only one that lies
A lesson I learned the hard way
Leaving me with nothing to say
And the expression I wear is just a mask
Like a mood elevator to some is a flask
So you wanna know something
Just ask
I'll be happy to answer with a lie.

She holds a knife
All she can think of
Is her sad lonely life
Not the same life
She fakes everyday
But the one full of feelings
That won't go away
Don't make her talk
Your making this real
She wants to be numb
Yet...still wants to feel
Now as she sits here
The words spill out
Full of self hatred
Tears and doubt
If just for one minute
You could look through her eyes
Feel all the pain
And hear all the lies
Lonely, self conscious
But can't even cry
Weak and distraught
Wanting to die
Can't get past
These thoughts in her head
Outside she fakes it
Though Inside she's dead
Some try to wake her
Some watch her sleep
But she can no longer see hope
She's in way to deep
Darkness embraces her
As she reaches for light
Struggling for freedom
With all of her might
But weakness prevails
The light fades away
Pain leaves her numb
She's falling further each day
The life she once had
Left her behind
And all the searching
Has left her blind

You never gave me a choice
to be what you wanted
Demands were suffocating
my inherent will to please

Silence is mine now
love is lying broken
Every word was weighed
when judgement fell on you

An eternity in solitude
Isn’t it sweet irony?
That all you had to do
was dare to set me free

Oh, how fast man can run
Over the icy plains of the soul
Without ever catching
himself or getting away

Oh, how fast a feeling pales
in the shadow of its fear
To go to such lonely end
To fall forevermore

An eternity in solitude
Isn’t it sweet irony?
That all you had to do
was dare to set me free

Oh, how fast fury can bury
Your soul in dead despair
You lie in bed with doubt
Refusing to see it there

But fear not beloved
Or hide in irony
You will never be alone
If you dare to set love free

Another night of screaming
Another day of shedding tears
Another night of dreaming
Of how to lose her fears

She’s afraid to speak sit or stand
She’s terrified of the power flying through his hands
She sits ready to cry
Everything he’s told her has been nothing but lies

Hearing cracks from an opening door
Shivering against the frozen ground
Something to grab against the coarse floor
Silence approaches what a strange sound

Seeing him walk in the light
Waiting for him to start another fight
Watching him come closer
Praying for no one else to feel what she felt.

She's hiding in her room
She knows he's coming again
She watches his shadow loom
And he starts the awful sin

She doesn't fight
He hurts her so
He does it all night
But at dawn he'll go

She pretends it's all okay
She never says the word addiction
She plays the game all day
She makes another prediction

She hides in her room once more
He's coming down the hall
This time she locked the door
He pounds on the wall

She cries and screams
She loses all faith and belief
On the floor, shattered, are her hopes and dreams
He hits her, she passes out, with a sigh of relief

Nice poems, here's one of mine...

...your poem...

Nice, good poems,
It just leaves me inspirations.
How I wish I could write poems like yours,
And to be one of the very few.
Too bad there's only one trouble,
And I'm about to be intruding.
Can you please change the colour,
Just so I can read all of your poems... 😄

Whee.. first comment! :]

You mean the dark or light blue....?

I've been walking for miles,
But I'm getting no where.
I don't know where I'm going,
And I don't really care.

I just wanna go somewhere,
Somewhere far away from here.
But I know one thing for sure,
You're something I don't wanna be near.

If I stay, you'll just hurt me,
Kind of like you've always done.
Well I just can't take this anymore,
Which is why i decided to run.

You caused me so much pain
That won't go away from just playing in the rain
That worked when I was little, but it won't now.
I wanna fix everything but I don't know how.

I just wanna leave,
Get out of this place.
So I'll never again,
Have to see your face.

A life of abuse,
and no one who cares
She goes home to an empty house,
all alone and scared

Her father will come home.
late from the bar with some girl
He'll beat the girl blue,
all because he got drunk or high

She'll go to school the next day,
wearing a sweater and some jeans
Nobody knows about her bruises,
because nobody's seen

After school she'll get home,
and get what she gets day after day
This time it's worse though,
and she's given the wings to fly away

He came home late
He's drunk I can tell
I know too well
that awful smell

He beats me
with words
then his fist
then a chair
I fall back dazed
just sit there and stare

Why do I deserve this?
What did I do?
I scrunch up in a ball
and hope he will miss

He swings even harder
blood spills from my mouth
I think my ribs are busted
please somebody help!

Where did you go
I let out a yelp
he goes for his bat
"Shut up and quit moving"

But I can't
hear him now
I lay limp on the floor
I play possum
while he heads for the door

Then I start to gasp
He threatens
"Do you want some more?"

I try to hold my breath
but I can't
it hurts too bad
he turns back around
now he's really mad

The last thing I see
is his fist in my face

It's the light blue that I can't see clearly...
But I guess for those who has black background can see it clearer?

mk..
I don't know.. sure?

Nobody is here,
Nobody is there,
My life is empty,
Nobody cares.

The pain life causes,
It's not worth it,
Depression as I sit in this corner,
As empty as dripping faucets.

Something is missing,
I dont know how i got this way,
But if i keep it up,
I know I will pay.

It's not my fault i'm like this,
Its not my fault at all,
Something just happened,
That's why I fall.

I would really like to be the same,
But we're not all playing the same game.
Can't you see the fame?

My life never was,
My life never will be,
Something in my heart,
It has betrayed me.

You can't see,
Deep in my heart,
But if you saw,
You would be torn apart.

Everyone has roles in their life,
I just dont see mine.
If something or someone would show me a sign,
It might just work out fine.

But for now,
Something is not right,
I dont think it will ever be,
I just wish one wish.. wish my heart was free.

I walked down the street,
Hands in my pockets music in my ear,
I wouldn’t have heard him coming,
Not in a million years.

He covered my mouth,
The dragged me to his car,
As soon as my stuffed me in the backseat,
He hit my head with a bar.

I woke up the handcuffs cutting into my wrists,
And my legs tied to a bed,
And I couldn’t sort though one thought,
That was running though my head.

But all I could feel,
Was him on top of me,
And out my of mouth poured,
Ignored and desperate pleas.

Pleas for him to stop,
Pleas for him to get off me,
Pleas for him,
To leave me be.

I cried and I screamed,
I screamed and I cried,
And deep inside of me,
I left something die.

That part of me,
That thought I was secure,
Faded away,
Into a blur.

He left me there,
Tied to that bed,
Just walked out,
Leaving me there for dead.

I'm his prisoner,
He holds the keys to my freedom.
I pace around,
In my prison cell.

My pacing stops,
He's coming again,
Coming to claim me once more.

No escape,
No where to go,
No way to stop him.

My eyes flash with hatred,
As he opens the door and steps inside.
I steel myself up,
He takes me again.

His blows to get me to react,
I do not feel.
My spirit breaks,
As he thrusts inside me again.

My eyes glaze over,
Time stops.
Please let me go..

nice poems...here's one of mine called Is Life...

Is life here to enjoy?
Is life here to love?
Is life happiness?
Or is it all of the above?

Is it an adventure?
Ready for you to explore
Filled with challenges of all kinds
Life is never a bore

It’s like clouds
Not all designed in the same way
When you look at them
They are different each and every day

Life is here for you to love and enjoy
Each and every second counts, remember
Seize the moment now for
It will never come back, it won’t ever!

and one more entitles are yoou listening (this is NOT a cry for help)

Who really cares
What I have to say
It doesn’t make a
Difference anyway

I scream and shout
Can you hear me
You’re so caught up
In your tragedy

I need somebody’s help
Can’t make it on my own
I’m giving up right now
I want to be alone

ooh. I like them (:

A little girl sits on the bottom stair,
With tears in her eyes and long tangled hair,
A cut on her knee where she fell off a wall,
And a bruise on her arm from what looks like a fall.

But it wasn’t a fall where she got her bruise,
She’d been in a fight, and got hit with her shoes,
She was taken upstairs and lay down on the floor,
She was punched and kicked till she couldn't’t take anymore.

He hit her, pinned her down, and took out the blade,
Started slicing, not caring for the bloody mess he made.
She lay there gasping for breath, clinging to life
She tried to fight with all her might

And then he was gone, she was left on the floor,
She rolled over and crawled for the door,
She kneeled against the door, thinking about what he said,
And silently wished that she were dead.

A little girl sits on the bottom stair,
With tears in her eyes and long tangled hair,
A cut on her knee where she fell off a wall,
And a bruise on her arm from what looks like a fall.