My version of Episode III opening crawl

This is the last thread I will make by the way, but since I think the offical opening crawl is crap, I've made my own opening crawl, if any likes it or doesn't, quote me back.

A long time ago in galaxy far, far away...

STAR
WARS

Episode III

REVENGE OF THE SITH

It is a dark time for the Galatic Republic. The endless Clone wars has caused massive mayhem and destruction throughout the galaxy.
The evil Sith Lord Count Dooku has sent General Grevious, the former leader of the Seperatist droid army into the capital of Coruscant and has kidnapped the Supreme Challencer.
Whilst the Galatic Senate try to solve the new matter, the Jedi council have secretly sent two Jedi knights on a daring mission to rescue the captured Challencer, in an attempt to end the raging war...

so according to your sentence structure, it was dooku who kidnapped palps and not Grievous.

Originally posted by PVS
so according to your sentence structure, it was dooku who kidnapped palps and not Grievous.

No it Grevious who kidnapped the challencer, but Dooku sent Grevious... read it carefully.

Originally posted by awain
...but since I think the offical opening crawl is crap,

well, i don't think

The evil Sith Lord Count Dooku has [sent General Grevious, the former leader of the Seperatist droid army into the capital of Coruscant] and has [kidnapped the Supreme Challencer.]

according to your sentence structure, dooku did 2 things:

1-sent GG

2-kidnapped palps

argueing with me isnt going to correct it. thats grammar, i didnt make the rules

Originally posted by PVS
The evil Sith Lord Count Dooku has [sent General Grevious, the former leader of the Seperatist droid army into the capital of Coruscant] and has [kidnapped the Supreme Challencer.]

according to your sentence structure, dooku did 2 things:

1-sent GG

2-kidnapped palps

argueing with me isnt going to correct it. thats grammar, i didnt make the rules

Originally posted by PVS
The evil Sith Lord Count Dooku has [sent General Grevious, the former leader of the Seperatist droid army into the capital of Coruscant] and has [kidnapped the Supreme Challencer.]

according to your sentence structure, dooku did 2 things:

1-sent GG

2-kidnapped palps

argueing with me isnt going to correct it. thats grammar, i didnt make the rules

Oh right yeah you're right, I accidently made a grammer mistake, I meant to say that Count SDooku's sent Grevious to kidnap Palpatine... I'm so sorry, I am not perfect.

Originally posted by JKozzy
Yep. Says that he did both things. I prefer the official one.

Yeah maybe but you have to admit, if I didn't make that grammer mistake, mine would be better than the offical. which one do you prefer:
either War! or It is a dark time for the Galatic Republic.

Praise the lord !!! this is thankfully NOT the actual crawl .

Good try tho 🙂

my only issue is 'WAR!' and 'there are heroes on both sides', which makes NO sense since the opposing side are droids and nemoidian cowards.

other than that i think the official crawl is fine

Originally posted by Killua
Praise the lord !!! this is thankfully NOT the actual crawl .

Good try tho 🙂

Thanks but firstly, I don't see what is wrong with my opening crawl, apart form the spelling and grammer mistakes, but I'd like to see you get off your worthless ass and write your own opening crawl, besides I think my opening crawl is defiantly better than the offical.

Originally posted by PVS
my only issue is 'WAR!' and 'there are heroes on both sides', which makes NO sense since the opposing side are droids and nemoidian cowards.

other than that i think the official crawl is fine

Maybe but you're forgeting Evil is everywhere, in other words Count Dooku and the Sepertaist army are all over the republic, or Darth Sidious is taking over the galaxy.

i am aware of the obvious. you failed to see my point that there are no heros on the fedeation side.

btw, why bother posting your crawl if the only opinion that matters to you is yours? no offence, but declairing that your own crawl is better than the official dispite the opinions of....well...everyone is quite arrogant.

Originally posted by PVS
i am aware of the obvious. you failed to see my point that there are no heros on the fedeation side.

btw, why bother posting your crawl if the only opinion that matters to you is yours? no offence, but declairing that your own crawl is better than the official dispite the opinions of....well...everyone is quite arrogant.

If you're saying I'm cocky or arrogant, I'm not, I'm just saying I think the Episode III opening crawl is shit compared with the other Star Wars opening crawl, and I persoanlly in my opinion think that mine is more like the other crawls, and they're a lot better than the Episode III crawl.

If you consider heroes as only the guys whose side the movied takes (Yoda, Mace, ObiWan, etc.), then you are correct. I would consider Dooku and Grievous as heroes (to the CIS).

Originally posted by PVS
my only issue is 'WAR!' and 'there are heroes on both sides', which makes NO sense since the opposing side are droids and nemoidian cowards.

other than that i think the official crawl is fine

It means there are winners on both sides.

Meaning:

Republic MVP: Anikan Skywalker
Sepretist MVP: General Grevious

HERO:

-In mythology and legend, a man, often of divine ancestry, who is endowed with great courage and strength, celebrated for his bold exploits, and favored by the gods.

-A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life: soldiers and nurses who were heroes in an unpopular war.

-A person noted for special achievement in a particular field: the heroes of medicine. See Synonyms at celebrity.

-The principal male character in a novel, poem, or dramatic presentation.

-Chiefly New York City. See submarine. See Regional Note at submarine. <--- 😛

WTF my worthless ass !?! , you don't even know me omg , go mental on yourself dude, and get the damn spellings right next time , geez.

i would think the correct definition in this case would be:

-A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life: soldiers and nurses who were heroes in an unpopular war.

how exactly does this describe the federation?

I just have had to resign myself to interpretting the "Heroes on both sides" thing more as Palps is mean't to be (at this point) a great hero to the republic that he is on both sides....(Really on his OWN side- I know)
and Anakin serves HIM.
Weak, I know, but right now i'll do anything to prevent me hating it and partially ruining the experience come May. After that i'll be back to hating the hell out of it..... 😄

The "War!" thing is a little contemptuous of/condescending to the audience (Especially the hardcore fans...) 🙁