Batman: What'da get him?
Wonder Woman: I'm not saying...(whispers) He'll hear and spoil the surprise.
Batman (whispers): He can hear that too.
Wonder Woman: How about you?
Batman: He is not the easiest person in the world to buy birthday presents for.
Wonder Woman: Bruce.......you didn't get him a gift certificate?
Batman: No!..........Cash.
Superman: You don't know Darkseid like I do.
Batman: We know he used you, humiliated you, brainwashed you, wound you up like a tin soldier and turned you loose against Earth...........Cry me a river.
Batman: maybe. If the Joker was the Red Hood. Then I did play a hand in his Creation.
Gorden: did you put the hood on his head and the gun in is hand? NO you didn't. You saved the entire city from that deranged madman. Give yourself a pat on the back I say.
Batman: I'll take that under advisement.
Gorden: you do that.
(From Batman the man who laughs)
crybaby
JOKER: Dear friends. . .Today is the day that the clown cried. And he cries not for the passing of one man, but for the death of a dream. The dream that he would someday taste the ultimate victory over his hated enemy. For it was the Batman who made me the happy soul I am today. How I agonized over the perfect way to thank him for that. Perhaps with a cyanide pie in the face. Or an exploding whoopie-cushion playfully planted in the Batmobile. But those dreams were dashed by the weaselly little gunsel sitting there in our midst. The cowardly insignificant gonif who probably got lucky when Batman slipped on the slime trail this loser left behind him. This mound of diseased hyena filth who's not fit to lick the dirt from my spats. . . ! But I digress. The time for sorrow has passed. It's time to look to a future filled with smiles. And I'll be smiling again just as soon as we take that man there and slap him in that box there and roll him into that vat of acid there! . . . We'll that was fun! Who's for Chinese?
eat
Originally posted by Kieralinn
crybabyJOKER: Dear friends. . .Today is the day that the clown cried. And he cries not for the passing of one man, but for the death of a dream. The dream that he would someday taste the ultimate victory over his hated enemy. For it was the Batman who made me the happy soul I am today. How I agonized over the perfect way to thank him for that. Perhaps with a cyanide pie in the face. Or an exploding whoopie-cushion playfully planted in the Batmobile. But those dreams were dashed by the weaselly little gunsel sitting there in our midst. The cowardly insignificant gonif who probably got lucky when Batman slipped on the slime trail this loser left behind him. This mound of diseased hyena filth who's not fit to lick the dirt from my spats. . . ! But I digress. The time for sorrow has passed. It's time to look to a future filled with smiles. And I'll be smiling again just as soon as we take that man there and slap him in that box there and roll him into that vat of acid there! . . . We'll that was fun! Who's for Chinese?
eat
from the man that killed batman...I love that episode..for a second I thought that little dude killed Batman for real.
HARLEY: Face it, Harl, this stinks! You're a certified nutso wanted in 12 states and hopelessly in love with a psychopathic clown.
HARLEY: For what it's worth, I actually enjoyed some of our romps but there comes a time when a gal wants more. And now all this gal wants is to settle down with her lovin' sweetheart.
BATMAN: You and the Joker?
HARLEY: Right-a-roonie!
BATMAN: Heh heh heh heh. . .
HARLEY: I've never seen you laugh before. . .
BATMAN: Ha ha ha ha!
HARLEY: I don't think I like it!
BATMAN: HA HA HA HA!
HARLEY: Cut it out! You're givin' me the creeps!
JOKER: I'm crazy enough to take on Batman, but the IRS? No thank you!
BATMAN: I need help.
HARLEY: Well, you've come to the right place! I recommend a lobotomy.
BATMAN: He's counting on you to blow this place up so he can collect the insurance. By the time you get clear, Kaiser will be miles away laughing at you.
JOKER: I hate it when you make sense!
In justice league
Batman: Can you make telepathic contact?
Aquaman: Do they look like fish to you?!?
Green Lantern: Anyway, why are we always talking about my love life? What's going on between you and Diana?
Batman: Nothing. She's a respected colleague.
Green Lantern: Uh-huh . . .
Batman: I don't have time to pursue a relationship. My work is too important to allow another distractions. Diana is a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's...standing right behind me, isn't she?
Wonder Woman: Don't let that stop you - keep digging.
Batman Beyond
Terry: What's the top speed on this thing?
Bruce: Mach 3.
Terry: Is that faster than a speeding bullet?
B:TAS
BATMAN: "Gotham police declare war on Batman"?
ALFRED: I gather you've been reading How to Make Friends and Influence People?
BATMAN: Somebody's setting me up.
ALFRED: My heavens! You mean it wasn't you tossing guards out of windows last night?
BATMAN: I only toss butlers, Alfred.
BRUCE: Y'know, we really should have done one more sweep of the city.
DICK: Now just relax, Bruce. You're gonna love 'It's A Wonderful Life'; it's a great movie.
BRUCE: It's not relentlessly cheerful, is it?
(I agree with Bats on that one..I hate that movie)
TNBA
JOKER: Hi-ho, couch potatoes! I'm interrupting the Toilet Bowl to give you my very special New Year's resolution. [Ahem!] Starting tonight at midnight, I, your loving Uncle Joker, do solemnly vow not to kill anyone for a whole year which means I'm going to have to work extra fast to bump off a few more of you today!
Originally posted by vaya_the_elf
Catwoman: "I could give you more happiness than anyone in the world."
Batman: "How do you propose to do that?"
Catwoman: "By being your partner in life, I mean it's me and you against the world."
Batman: "What about Robin?"
(i find that one a little bit wrong)
LOL
Was that the dark knight who said that? >XD Or campy Adam West style Batman?
Originally posted by Joker1237
"He stole my balloons, He stole my balloons, Why didnt some one tell me, he had one of thsos things???" Bob gun, Bang."Ok men, I going to need a moment alone." Joker, Batman the movie.
Batman in the Batjet: *rounds up The Joker's Ballons*
The Joker: My ballons..
Batjet: *makes a sharp turn to avoid a building, flies one thousand feet in the air and releases The Joker's ballons*
The Joker: HE STOLE MY BALLONS! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those.. things!? Bob...gun. *BANG*
Bob: *dies*
The Joker: *looks down depressed with a grin, passes the gun backwards to one of his men* I'm going to need a minute or two alone, boys....
-Jack Nicholson as the Joker, BATMAN (1989)
I'm such a true comic book fan.
*fifteen minutes later*
Originally posted by Blue Dragon
Batman film:
Robber who killed Batman's parents: Who are you!?
Batman: I'm Batman.
Great!
I don't remember quotes...
You don't remember movies either. First of all that was a mugger not a robber (Two COMPLETELY different things) and also he didn't kill Bruce Wayne's parents (He wasn't The Bat Man before they died). Second of all Jack (He wasn't The Joker before Batman dropped him in that batch of chemicals) killed Bruce Wayne's parents in the film. He stopped two random muggers when he said that.
I love that quote, though. That is how most people remember Michael Keaton playing BATMAN, making it a classic quote. Like from Celebrity Jeopardy on Saturday Night Live...
Alex Trebek: And our third contestant is Michael Keaton. What do you?
Michael Keaton: ....I'm BATMAN.
Alex Trebek: Fantastic.
Alex Trebek: It's time for our FINAL JEPORDY round and the question is... *looks at the card* ...you know what? This is too hard. I'm not even going to ask you a question. Just write your name and we'll accept that. *Jeopardy Music Plays* Alright Michael, let's see what you've come up with
Michael Keaton: *He wrote down "I'm BATMAN"*
Alex Trebek: And you've wagered...
Michael Keaton: *Wrote down "Val Kilmer and George Clooney SUCK."*
Ooh, and to extend your BATMAN (1989) quote...
Mugger: *crying and screaming for his life* DONT KILL ME! DONT KILL ME MAN!! DONT KILL ME!!! DONT KILL ME MAN!!!! *looks down quickly while on a hundred story, then back to the bat man*
Batman: I'm not going to kill you. But I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.
Mugger: What are you?
Batman: *pulls him in with both hands close to his face* I'm Batman.
Alot of nice The Bat Man/Super Man crossover quotes here. It's funny; The Bat Man was originally a red, white and blue "Bat-like Man" at first. He was too much like Super Man though, so they changed him around ALOT. His personality is like the exact opposite of the man of steel's except for the fact that they're on the same side. Super Man is like a god among gods when it comes to packing a punch with a seemingly endless amount of superpowers while The Bat Man is really a well-trained human with alot of wonderful toys. Furthermore, Clark Kent is a farm boy from Smallville out on the country side who later goes reporter and moves into Metropolis, the perfect city with corrupted business men having a “Secret War” that’s always covered up by Lex Luthor and Bruce Wayne is a billionaire playboy who lives in the most dark, corrupted cities with either alot more or a bit less business, where thugs and gangsters almost make up more than the civilized population. What happens when this farm boy gone reporter and little kid with dead parents gone depressed billionaire meet?
*odd couple theme plays*