Star Wars Versus StoryTime!

This is a new story I've been writing. It takes place in the KOTOR times. It is a pretty close to the real storyline. It isn't done yet though.

The Plain of the Force

“What...What is happening? So long, so old. It is all coming back. I remember what happened! I remember everything! But how? I am so long gone, there is no way.”
That was what Ajunta Pall said to himself when he awoke in the higher plane. Although he didn’t realize it, he was gone. All existence was gone for him. He had remained a wandering spirit for so long. He had wandered his burial planet for thousands of years. He had slowly weakened.

“Revan!” Ajunta screamed his final killers name with all the power of the stars. “Revan what have you done to me! Why! Why have you done this! Why!” He tried to release his energy as he had always done, even in death, but found himself unable to do so. His voice was calm as he said the next sentence. “Revan, what is this evil?”

Ajunta had no idea where he was. He had been, just seconds earlier, in his tomb on Korriban. That much he knew for certain. He knew he had just fought against the Dark Lord Revan, along with Revan’s followers, a powerful Mandalorian and a senile, but wise old man. They had entered his tomb to get his sword. He had asked them to take it, for he no longer could wield it, for it haunted him, never allowing him to leave Korriban, or that plain at all, for so long. They had taken it.

He thought they were going to leave and let him leave the plain in peace, but just before Revan had left he demanded to know the secret of Ajunta Pall’s power. This, Ajunta would never tell, and could never tell, partly because he no longer remembered what that power was. He could no longer draw upon it like before. It had allowed him to transcend the power of a mere force user to some new level of control over it. It had been long believed that the power came from his sword, but that was nothing comared to this thing. If only he could remember what it had been. After Revan came to the conclusion that I would never tell him, he decided it was time for me to die, rather than pass.

Revan drew his duel lightsabers. Seeing this, the Mandalorian the Mandalorian drew his weapon. With reluctance, the old man, Jolee he had been called, did the same. It was a fight Ajunta knew he would lose, but it was a fight nevertheless.
Even though he had not battled in over a thousand years, he was able to knock the Mandalorian unconscious. He had left Revan with several severe woulnds, but had been unable to touch the old man, for he was an amazing master of Soresu and had very capable force powers with which to protect himself.

Although he was a spirit, he was still susceptible to harm. A stab through the chest from Revan’s lightsaber had done him in. Everything was black for several moments before he was blinded by the brightest of lights. He knew then, he had become the fabled force ghost. It was something beyond the “common” Sith spirit.
He found himself laying on him stomach in the exact position he had fallen to the ground in. He was gone. But he was there, only it was a different there. He rose to feet and was in the place he found himself in now.

“Hello Ajunta.” The voice came from his left side. He turned to face it, still shocked by his lost ability to call upon the force. “It’s been a long time.”
“Who...who are y..you?” Ajunta felt weak. Weaker than ever before. He felt scared for the first time in his entire life. But that voice, he knew it from somewhere.
The voice replied, “Surely you remember me. We fought before. I tried to kill you after you taught me.”

“Many people tried to kill me after I taught them. What is your name.” Ajunta was starting to regain his grip.
“Why, I am Lord Simus.”
“Simus? Simus!” After taking a moment to look he realized it was Simus, head and all. “What the heck is going on? Where am I.”
“Why, teacher, you are on the higher plain. I must say, it took you long enough to get here. What kept you from dying for so long. You are really quite amazing. Dying once, three thousand years before me, and then really dying a thousand years after that.”
“I was busy.”
“Why did you give up teaching? Marka Ragnos was such a great student, wasn’t he?”

“Simus, when over fifty of your students attempt to kill you, you get a little tired of it after a while. Ragnos got so close, I gave up.”
“But Tulak was so disappointed.”
“Ukan! Ukan is here!”
“Yes, yes. Tulak has been here for the last, oh, seven hundred or so years. Apparently he didn’t want to stick around for a long time as a spirit. I imagine he had seen everything he had wanted to after seven-thousand years.”

“I supposed so. Take me to him. I want to see him.” Ajunta was overwhelmed at the thought of getting to see his old Master again. It had been five thousand years as it was since he had seen him. He had tried to meet with him as during his time as a spirit, but for some reason was never able to.”
“Alright. Tulak is pretty far away from here though. The Council is having a meeting, and Tulak is one of the leaders with the most weight behind his words.”
As they were walking towards the Council grounds they continued talking.

Ajunta, “Why is there a Council here. What happened to our ways?”
Simus, “I don’t know for sure. I doubt any of us talkers no. It has been like this for as long as can be remembered.”
Ajunta,”What’s a talker?”
Simus, “Eventually, even here, it is only a matter of time before you leave for an even higher plain. How long any of us have, I don’t know. The Council has speculated that the next place is final reunition with the force. I don’t know why the ones who have passed this place are called non-talkers either, that is just the way it is.”

They continued talking for the next hour or so before Simus informed Ajunta that they were there.
Simus, “Just ahead of here. You shall go before them alone when you go to talk to talk to them.”
Ajunta, “Who all is on the Council?”
Simus, “Just go, you will see when you get there.”

Ajunta walked before the Council. In the highest position sat Ukan, or Tulak, as he was more commonly known. To his right was Marka Ragnos, followed by an empty seat, then Naga Sadow, Ludo Kressh, Freedon Nadd, and then Exar Kun. Simus took the empty seat after Marka. A Council of people he knew. A Council of people he trained.
Ragnos was the first to speak. His powerful voice had stayed with him in death. “Ajunta Pall. You are the most recent Sith to come here.”
The following conversation went as follows.

Freedon, “You’re presence he is important to the destiny of the force.”
Ajunta, “Wha...”
“Silence!” Ludo snapped. “You will wait to speak until asked whenever you come before this Council.”
Ajunta was so angered by the comment that his blood began to boil. He waved his hand in a way that would normally have sent massive lightning bolts at the Sith Lord.

Ludo laughed , “Looks like someone has lost their control over the force.”
Naga, “You force connection leaves when you enter this place. It will return in a few days.”
Exar, “As Freedon was saying, you are needed for a special assignment. The force itself it at risk. Failure is not an option.”
“Revan.” Ajunta said his name as if it was a poison. Instead of being silenced, Marka spoke.

Ragnos, “So you know of Revan?”
Ajunta, “He was the one who went me here.”
Freedon, “Do you know of what he is plannig to do?”
Ajunta, “What can he do? He only defeated me in my weakest state.”
Ragnos, “His power will soon eclipse my own. He has taken your sword. We believe he knows the location of your power.”

Horror crept over Ajunta’s face. If Revan was able to get his power...
Exar, “None of us here can stop him. We can’t leave this world to return to the the true one except in an extremely weakened state, and even then for only a few hours.”
Naga, “No one alive can hope to defeat him.”
Ludo, “He is gathering Artifacts from across the galaxy.”

Ragnos, “He already has my gauntlets and staff, Nadd’s shortsaber, Ludo’s warblade, Naga’s poisonblade, and Tulak’s lightsaber holocron, among other things.”
Ajunta, “He must be near unstoppable with all of those. When he defeated me he he had none of those things.”
Freedon, “I think we can defeat him. He is still weaker than any of us where during our reigns. We could venture there; and together, defeat him.”

Marka, “He is far to powerful.”
Naga, “Then we could train others. Sion, with our teachings, could defeat him.”
Ludo, “Given enough time, Sion would be able to defeat Revan as he is now, but by the time Sion will be ready, Revan’s power will be far greater than it currently is.”
Exar, “What about the force-witch? Kreia, they is called. She was a powerful foe during my war against the Jedi. She killed some of my most powerful followers in the less known area’s.”

Marka, “She may work. She is close enough to Revan’s power that with our teaching she could defeat him. For a time at least. I believe that we have less than a year before his power will have grown enough that we would need to find othres to help her. Others, who may not exist.”
The Tulak spoke for the first time. “You may be right, Marka. She is powerful. If she were to become Darth Traya, then I might have a plan that would allow her to defeat him. Marka, you will teach her Zo’kula.”
Marka, “Yes, Lord Tulak.”

Tulak, “Sion will receive training from you, Ludo.”
Ludo, “Yes, Lord Tulak.”
Tulak, “I have a different task for my self. I have created the being called Nihilus. He is a virtual hole in the force. I ripped him from one of Revan’s commanders during the Jedi Civil War. He has the ability to kill Revan and is invulnerable to all except the one I drew him from and myself."

this is pretty good

bump

Lord Nyax vs. Count Dooku

Count Dooku watched as the beast entered his throne, “Greetings, Lord Nyax. I congratulate you on your victory over my Magna Droids on the way to my throne.” Dooku’s voice was calm. He spoke in an eerie monotone.

Lord Nyax was here to kill the Count. His position as Dark Lord of the Sith would only make it more enjoyable. “Thank you, Count. You know what I am here to do. Let’s not have this idle chattering go one for any longer than necessary.”

Count Dooku made a sarcastic look of astonishment on his face. “So rude. So, so rude. Have you no personality?”
Lord Nyax, “I am a killing machine. Nothing else.” The words were like ice from the massive figures lips. As icy as his heart.

To this Count Dooku replied, “Not a gentleman? I see Lord Maul left an impression upon you before he met his end. You are said to be the greatest lightsaber duelist alive. I must say that your victory over Ventress impressed me, but she is nothing near my equal.”

Lord Nyax sneered, “We shall see. Count of Serreno, I challenge you to a fight to the death.” Lord Nyax’s voice was almost a scream by the time he finished issuing the challenge.
And the mighty Count of Serreno replied, “May the more noble gentleman win.” His voice was crisp and as sharp as a vibro-blade.

Lord Nyax laughed. He was practically insane. The experiments he had been efficiency through had left him over nine feet tall. His body was scarred from the rigors of Lord Maul’s training. Nyax’s most prominent scar ran from just below his right ear to his nose. He had received it during a blind rage in which he attacked Darth Maul. He had been the apprentice. Maul would have killed him for the attack if he himself had not attempted to kill Sidious during his training.

The beast moved towards Dooku in complete silence. He drew twin lightsabers, one in each hand, both emitted a savage glare. Dooku ignited his blade as well; moving it in to a hanging guard as was common in his lightsaber strategy.

Although the Count of Serreno was old, he had the force to back him against this far younger lightsaber master. Dooku was at this point in his life one hundred and six years old. He looked old too, but he could easily have been thought to be in his mid- seventies from look alone. The dexterity he possessed was beyond any Echani. His strength could topple any Wookie. And since Yoda had passed, he was the strongest person alive. Or so it was believed. This being before him might just be more capable.

Nyax tested Dooku’s strength with a heavy swing with his right saber. Dooku blocked the attack. Nyax did this again. Once again, Dooku blocked with usual Makashi efficiency. Again Nyax attacked. And again. His continued to attack’s weren’t meant to be lethal. His intent was to understand Dooku’s use of Makashi. It wasn’t long before Dooku noticed this and slowly started to add what little he knew of Ataru into it in what he hoped would through the beast off. He didn’t know much of the form though, just what he had learned from Qui-gon during their sparring times.

After this had continued for close to half a minute Dooku fired a powerful storm of force lightning at the brute. The strength of Nyax lay in his skill with a saber, not his ability to stop a force attack. He was able to block less than half with his sabers and was forced to take a step backwards. He almost dropped his sabers during the energy rain.

Moments later Nyax was able to regain his composure and was able to raise his sabers to the point where continued attack became wasteful on Dooku’s part. The Count of Serreno stopped his onset. With the icy chill he had used so many times before to taunt his opponents he said, “I don’t see why so many people fear you. Your skill leaves much to be desired.”

Nyax only growled at this, fostering Dooku’s belief that he was a mere beast. Primitive, savage, barbaric. Not fit for a gentleman’s time. He would end this quickly. He charged at Nyax, swinging at his legs and then spinning around for an attack at his legs. Nyax stabbed at him with his left saber while using his right in a swing that if it had made contact with it’s target would have removed Dooku’s head. Nyax’s knee then made contact with Dooku’s thigh light an duracrete sledgehammer.

Nyax certainly seemed to have received some “enhancement’s” in the last few years. He thought with disgust at the thought of someone using machines to “enhance” a human’s skill. The second he finished this though his mind returned to the pain of what was probably ten small fractures in his thigh bone. He would pay for this. Dooku let his rage fuel him. He concentrated all his energy into one swing. The power behind it almost knocked Nyax off his feet; quite a feat considering he was over nine feet tall.

Although Nyax wasn’t a specialist in force powers, he was able to use a small fragment of the duracrete wall that had been knocked from it’s place on the wall by a lightsaber, and “fire” it at Dooku’s side. The Count was forced to move his saber in a position that left his weapon arm exposed to avoid a few broken ribs. Nyax used this and attempted to remove the arm, but Dooku was an experienced dueler and was able to save arm. Reguardless, he received a superficial cut to top of his forearm. Blood that was released the second the cut was made trickled out, but the bleeding stopped quickly as a lightsaber blade immense’s whatever it cuts extremely quickly.

Nyax stabbed at Dooku again, but now the Count was furious. Surging with dark power, he dodged the attack and stabbed at Nyax’s wristsaber on his right arm, destroying it. With the blade’s energy supply gone, the blade dissipated after a few seconds.

Enjoying his temporary victory, Nyax almost cleaved off the top off Dooku’s head with his left hand sabers. Crouching, Dooku barely evaded the attack, losing some hair in the process. As he came back up from his crouch, he sent a stream of lightning into Nyax’s chest, causing the Dark Jedi to fall back in pain.

Taking advantage of Nyax’s momentary weakness, he removed Nyax’s left arm a few inches from the shoulder. Enraged, Nyax dropped his lightsaber for a moment and grasped Dooku’s arm in his huge hand. Calling upon his imeanse strength, he broke Dooku’s good forearm.

Summoning the power of the Dark side, Dooku flung Nyax against the wall with a wave of his hand and heard several the satisfying sound of breaking bones. Picking back up his lightsaber that he dropped when his forearm broke, he walked over to the disarmed Nyax lying in the corner.

Smiling, Dooku advanced towards Nyax, but suddenly felt a lightsaber pierce the back of his calf. Dropping to his knee, he removed the blade. It was the lightsaber Nyax had dropped just before he broke Dooku’s forearm. He sliently dursed himself for neglecting it.
Casting away his own lightsaber, the great Count Dooku silently killed the powerful Lord Nyax with his own blade.

why have people stopped posting here

Because Ush decided to move it here and almost no one ever visits here.

Millennia have passed since the Jedi were an honourable order who oversaw and helped the galaxy. Now they are merely gifted individuals who live as they can, as assasins, bodyguards, henchmen and other such heralds of crime lords or important politicians. the everlasting feud inbetween the sith and the jedi is forgotten in a desperate attempt to survive in a no longer accepting galaxy, except for one, his name is raine he is thought to be one of the descendants of a once great jedi of the new order, when it existed that is, he has stayed true to his ancestorial oath against the darkside and injustice unlike his brothers in the force.
Raine was travelling to the planet of yavin VI were a dark magician (who he suspected just to be a dark Jedi glamourifying himself) was said to have thrown over the government and royal family and posed themself as supreme overlord of the planet, in recent years it was said that they’d done the same to the neighbouring planets of yavin V and yavin VII, raine was going to put a stop to this….
Raine’s ship, force made a smooth landing on one of the ruins of what was once a jedi academy on yavin VI, the ships internal lights switched off as raine climbed out of his ship, switched on the cloak which made the ship invisible then left for the trek to the supreme palace in the capital of kyralia. The city was surprisingly not well protected, though nothing raine thought suspicious. He encountered a few guards near the inner circle of the city, close to the palace, all that was needed was a swish of his sapphire blade and down they went. the palace was mainly made of marble and an easy entrance was made by raine as he slipped through a drain near the base of the wall.
The journey through the palace had been suspiciously uneventful, raine was starting to think some one apart from him knew about his little visit. The corridor to the throne room was dimly lit by a single plasma lamp in the middle of the roof, the door lay ajar, was some one expecting him? He pushed the door open slowly revealing a circular room with a throne logded to the furthest part of the wall, raine suddenly hit with a wave of the darkside, his senses were immediately fully alert to wat danger might lie in this room. Then, from a dark corner of the room he heard a womans voice:
“have you come to kill me raine, come to challenge the great kyra”
“who are you ?”
“haha you do not think the supreme overlord could be a woman ?”
You are the supreme overlord ?”
“yes”
“now leave before I kill you jedi, I have more power in my blood than you will ever have, I am the descendant of a great sith lord who ruled the galaxy once, he was so powerful he mastered the chosen one”
“the chosen one ?”
Hah! You ignorant fool, now leave or die !”
“no! I am here to end this your pitiful reign of terror is lost !”
raine ignited his lightsaber just in time to block a swing for his body, he quickly retaliated with a combo of high and low slashes which were parried flawlessly, raine sensed the crimson blade searching for his neck, he parried but his blade met nothing but air, a feint ! raine blocked kyra just in time from separating is torso from his legs, she was more skilled than he expected. Kyra was expeting an untrained child but she was urprised by the mans skill and technique, she tried another slash for his neck then a flurry of parries followed raines attempt on confusing her into making a combat mistake , the battle raged on as each attack was partied and each new attempt to injure eachother was foiled until raine noticed a flaw in kyra’s style, she underestimated him, raine made a quick swing for kyra’s right arma then a slash at her head, kyra’s parry lifted raine off the floor he then followed through with the movement with a force jump in which a flash of blue sliced through kyra’s head, when raine landed kyra’s body had already dropped to the floor, no one underestimates raine skywalker….

a little one i thort up off in about 20 mins,m sorry if you don't like the future tingi just thort it would be a fun thing to write

People should start posting here again.

who the hell moved my thread?!!!!!!!No wonder onone is posting here anymore whoever moved this killed it thank you! Im considering writing RAZ but I will contact a mod first as I do understand chain of command etc...I get sick and disappear and someone moves in and moves a perfectly great thread.....This should have stayed where it was star wars versus at least EU section who in star wars comes in here not many.....! general fiction....hmmph! ridiculous!look at the name of the thread! SAYS STAR WARS!!!!!!!!

wrote Rex awaiting response

Introduction: Everything starts on the planet Shakuras, throne-world of the Protoss Federation. After the Overmind had been destroyed, along with the Conclave, the Khalai survivors fled to Shakuras through a Warp Gate. Under the command of Praetor Zeratul, a member of the newly formed Protoss Federation High Command, the Khalai refugees smoothly fitted in the new command structure.

- I require all your attention, respectable ladies and gentlemen. My scouts just reported that there is an enemy fleet above our position! warned Aldaris.

Judicator Aldaris is the Chief Justice of the Protoss Federation Supreme Court. He also have military authority and therefore has a seat in the Protoss federation High Command and the Protoss Federation Council.

- Aldaris, how much time do we have to put all the forces we have under battle-ready conditions?
- Praetor Artanis, we must decide whom to send to fend off the enemy fleet.

Praetor Artanis, as do Praetor Zeratul, are generals in the Protoss Federation military. Zeratul is more used to surface combat; space combat is the speciality field of Artanis. Artanis intercepted an Imperial transmission:

- This is Admiral Motti of the Galactic Empire. Attention the Protoss Federation High Command, you must surrender or we'll level the entire planet with orbital bombardment!

Praetor Artanis' flagship, the Gantrithor II, is a Protoss Carrier that had no shipboard weapon installed onboard and had a complement of 20 Interceptors parked in it. As soon as he got aboard his own flagship, he made for the bridge.

- Attention all units insystem! We're under attack! Artanis warned as he ordered his front guard to engage the closest Venator.

Procurator Atriel, the commander of Praetor Artanis' front guard, orders his units to go to dogfight speeds. Though he may be as young as his superior, Artanis himself, he knows that dogfight speeds are about 20 km/s for Scouts.

- All scouts, fire your missiles at the closest Venator! Atriel ordered.

The shields took damage but they weren't down. The Scouts were safe from a counter attack, until they get close enough to be within firing range from the enemy turbolasers. Atriel ordered his Scouts, who are simple patrol boats, to concentrate the missilefire at the closest ship. At the same time, Atriel's carrier slew down in order to make some erratic maneuvers.

- All fighters scramble! Atriel ordered.

The twenty Interceptors, AI controlled, as well as the eight Corsairs, with living pilots, took off while the carrier flew at much less than its top speed, 10 km/s. Though he is not aboard the Carrier, he do engage enemy fighters as they flew at a sluggish speed (from a Scout pilot viewpoint). He suddenly received a message coming from one of his own pilots' comm.

- Procurator Atriel, you have three TIE Interceptors on your tail!
- I know your worry, sir, but I am out of their range.

Procurator Atriel knows that enemy TIE Interceptors' dogfight speed is very slow (three-tenths of a kilometer per second at best) and therefore cannot hunt down Scouts except for atmospheric battle. He then fired his photon cannons at an ISD's deflector domes while his missile gunner fires missiles at the Venator, whose shields were downed by two volleys of anti-matter missiles. The Venator then blows up. However, under the red lines of the enemy turbolasers, the Scouts of the Protoss Federation engages the TIE Interceptors of the Galactic Empire. With the fire support of the Arbiters, the small ships of the Protoss Federation engage the TIEs at long ranges. If it wasn't for the longer range of the Scouts' photon cannons, the TIEs would have been a match for the Protoss fighters.

Meanwhile, the enemy fighters succeeded to hit Procurator Atriel's craft.

- Mayday, mayday! My engines have been hit, my aft shields are down and my targeting computer has been taken out! alerted Atriel on the emergency channel.

Slowing down to even half a kilometer per second allows him to have a better view of the enemy fighters as he shoots down a squadron of TIE fighters, craft after craft. However, a fighter identified as a TIE Advanced X1 appears on his radar.

- Attention all units! Be wary of the TIE Advanced X1!

However, inside the TIE X1's cockpit...

- This time, I got you! said Darth Vader as he fired a couple of shots at Atriel's Scout.

His wingmen were shot down by Atriel himself, one wing missing to his ship. The debris of the scattered wing hit the TIE Advanced X1 forced him to change his course as both sides retreated their forces.

End of Chapter 1.

And you got your response. It belongs here.

Yes Rex that is your response... but this thread is not GENERAL fiction... it is Star Wars specific and belongs in the SW section.

REX knows what he's doing; he wouldn't be the moderator of this forum if he didn't. He isn't Bush.

General fiction is pretty much "Ok, you can write about anything here.". Think of it as a General Discussion forum. You can talk about anything there, as you can write about anything here. Does this proportion clarify it?

The last time somebody posted was feb 23rd? Well, then, I just won't bother posting.

This really should be in the Star Wars section. Nobody has come since feb 23rd.

I agree, but apparently this Rex guy thinks he knows best...

lol 'this Rex guy'!! Anyway I think it should be back in the SW forum too.

padme wanna be

I just posted a story called The secret child: The story of Lyanna Jade. It's reall good so please come check it out. I promise it won't disappoint u. I'm updating tomorrow so please let me know what u think.