"At a lot of restaurants you hear them say "Prices and participation may vary." I want to open a McDonald's that doesn't participate in shit. "You got cheeseburgers?" "Nope. We got spaghetti. And blankets. And we are in no way affiliated with that clown. He brings in too many kids."
"I was at a movie theater one time and someone told me I had to move because I was blocking a fire exit. If you have legs and are able to move, you are never blocking a fire exit."
-Mitch Hedberg
Originally posted by BackFire
The great Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force."Hey, I see ya checkin out my goods, want a free sample? STAND AND DELIVER!!"
😂
my favorite carl quotes:
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"carl your hands!"
"yeah i know i seem 'em, theyre very big.
well im gonna go take a nap now and then im...uh...gonna call some hospitals..."
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(master shake is found dead in carl's pool)
"hey fryman i'm so sorry.....that i cant press charges"
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carl:hey, which one of you guys have been playin' "i like candy" for a frickin week?
frylock: it was your other neighbor.
master shake: meatwad.
carl: you know what? at this point, it doesn't matter. because it keeps running inside my head and it won't leave unless i blow it out..WITH A BULLET!
"I'm at that age where I'm starting to yell at the television. I was watching CNN and they were saying "...and there are new reports that Bush knew about the attack and..." I yelled "Oh, HE STILL DOESN'T KNOW" The thought of an attack was so absured Bin Laden could have called up and said "Hello George. Two planes will hit the world trade center. One will hit the pentagon. JIHAD JIHAD !!!!!" Only to be responded with "You wanna stop screwin' around Cheney I'm busy."
-Some random comedian