Because I'm evil, I am fair and balanced.
Alot of you members (I don't bother to remember your names, you suck lol..) think I'm bias. You think I'm sun redneck hillbilly who wants to run you over with his trailor and have mad unprotected Catholic sex with Jackie. Well, besides the last part nothing could be father from the truth LOL.. Infact, on many forums alot of conservatives complain I'm a liberal ass-puppet. Both sides piss me off and frankly the only GOOD thing that damn Dubyha' has done in his bloodwar has set the course for the goverment to find The Necromonicon which is located somewhere in Babylonia. (Or Iraq as it is reffered to as of now..) No-one believes me when I say I unofficaly work for the Bush administration. But doesn't anyone find it awckward that his intelligence is so faulty? That his speeches have such poor grammar? That they're investing in nuclear energy which before I said anything was never even spoken of? Like the left, the right has become dependant on a louder voice, which they believe to be the voice of God, but really it's just me and my thirst for vegance. Mankind has abused this planet for far too long, and it's time for the old gods to reclaim what was rightfuly there's. But then.. I'm getting off topic aren't I now? So to conclude how I am not bias, and infact I hate everybody equaly. I have put together this top ten list of things which keep me from EVER joining your pathetic parties and only siding with whomever gets me closer to my geas of obtaining the book of the dead.. *Ahem!*
The Top Ten Reasons I'm Not a Liberal:
#10: Theocracy. Liberals have never met a tax, a government intervention, or a forcible redistribution of wealth they didn't like. Their economic program is Communism without the guts to admit it.
#9. Communism. I haven't forgiven the Left for sucking up to the monstrous evil that was the Soviet Union. And I never will.
#8. Gun control. Liberals are completely wrong about this. A fair number of them know better, too, but they sponsor lies about it as a form of class warfare against conservative-leaning gun owners.
#7. William Jefferson Clinton. Sociopathic liar, perjurer, sexual predator. There was nothing but a sucking narcissistic vacuum where his principles should have been. Liberals worship him.
#6. Junk science. No medical study is too bogus and no environmental scare too fraudalent for liberals. If it rationalizes bashing capitalism or slathering on another layer of regulatory bureaucracy, they'll take it.
#5. Liberals, by and large, are fools.
#4. Defining deviancy down. Liberals are in such a desperate rush to embrace the `victimized by society' and speak the language of compassion that they've forgotten how to condemn harmful, self-destructive and other-destructive behavior.
#3. Nuclear power. They're wrong about this, too, and the cost in both dollars and human deaths by pollution and other fossil-fuel side-effects has been enormous.
#2. Affirmative action. These programs couldn't be a more diabolical or effective plan for entrenching racial prejudice if the Aryan Nations had designed them.
And #1: Abortion.The liberals' looney-toon feminist need to believe that a fetus one second before birth is a parasitic lump of tissue with no rights, but a fetus one second afterwards is a full human, has done half the job of making a reasoned debate on abortion nigh-impossible.
I'm not done yet.. The Top Ten Reasons I am Not a Conservative:
#10. Conservatives, by and large, are villains.
#9. Ronald Wilson Reagan. A B-movie actor who thought ketchup was a vegetable. His grip on reality was so dangerously weak that the Alzheimer's made no perceptible difference. Conservatives worship him.
#8. The War on Drugs. We found out that Prohibition was a bad idea back in the 1930s -- all it did was create a huge and virulent criminal class, erode respect for the law, and corrupt our politics. Some people never learn.
#7. Sexism. Way too much conservative thought still reads like an apologia for keeping women barefoot.
#6. Creationism. I don't know who I find more revolting, the drooling morons who actally believe creationism or the intelligent panderers who know better but provide them with political cover for their religious-fundamentalist agenda in return for votes.
#5. Anti-science. Stem cells, therapeutic cloning -- it doesn't matter how many more diabetes, cancer and AIDS patients have to die to protect the anti-abortion movement's ideological flanks. Knowledge -- who needs it? Conservatives would try suppressing astronomy if the telescope had just been invented.
#4. Abortion. The conservatives' looney-toon religious need to believe that a fertilized gamete is morally equivalent to a human being has done the other half of making a reasoned debate on abortion nigh-impossible.
#3. Racism. I haven't forgiven the Right for segregation, Jim Crow laws, and lynching blacks. And I never will.
#2. Family values. Conservatives are so desperate to reassert the repressive `normalcy' they think existed in grand-dad's time that they pretend we can undo the effects of the automobile, television, the Pill, and the Internet. And should try to.
And #1. Censorship. The complete absence of evidence that exposure to pornography or sexually-explicit material is harmful to children or anyone else doesn't stop conservatives from advocating massive censorship.
And there you have it, you're all bitches, and may the old ones consume you..Fair and balanced..