X-men 3

Hey, dude, I'm really enjoying this.

I have a couple of points to make concerning technique, but I don't want to post them, unless you want the help.

So far, with my little knowledge of the X-Men world, I'm enjoying this. Try not to confuse me with too many characters though.

ok. please pm them to me. and thanks for the comment.

yea ive just re-read it and i realised i didnt give much detail on rogue or storm for non x-men fans

If this story continues to get good reviews i might be releasing:

X-men 3: Special edition

and

X-men 4: (title unknown)

Wow, the Ones, this is a truly amazing story. You had hardly any mistakes, but there was one thing. Every time a new character speaks, you need to start a new character.

Great story! I can't wait to see why Rogue is being so... well... evil! Keep it up!

well theres a hint. rogue cant disguise her self as another being 😉

Alright, so far, pretty good... im really liking it... just another problem concerning Cyclops (im pissing you off now arent i?)

Cyclops is immune to his own power, if say it was rebounded back at him, then his body would just absorb it...

That is unless the person is the

Spoiler:
phoenix

Really enjoying it, keep writing... 😄

well i dont know that much about cyclops. anyway ive almost finished the next part. watch this space

The beam struck rogue through the back, passed right through the intestines and out the chest. It narrowly missed storm. Rogue let go of storm and collapsed to the floor with a big hole in both sides of the torso. Storm gasped for breath and looked down and at the body, Smoke rising from rogue’s chest. Scott ran over to Storm “are you ok?” Scott asked. “Yes” storm replied. “Is she dead?” she asked. Scott looked down at rogue. The hole started to get smaller. “No!” Scott replied as he quickly put his hand up to his glasses. Rogues eyes opened and started filling with tears. “Im so sorry, I can’t control it, I mean, im so sorry. Don’t kill me-” rogue started as she got cut of by storm “its going to be ok. We’ll get you help”

In the medical room, rogue was lying on a table accompanied by storm. Beside her was a control box. She pressed a button on it and a large metal rectangle came down and lights lit up inside it. It was scanning rogues body. In the other room, the rest of the x-men crew were watching the scan being done. Scott walked over to Xavier. “Professor, may I have a word?” he asked. “Yes Scott, what’s on your mind?” Xavier asked. “It’s about Jean.” Scott started. “I-” his words were broken off as the screen pulled up rogues DNA and compared it with rogues old DNA. The Professor couldn’t believe his eyes. “Oh my god” he whispered

Nice! Keep going!

The only thing is you still aren't starting a new paragraph every time a new character speaks. Every single time a new character speaks, you need to begin a new paragraph.

Like I said, great going! Continue! 😄

kk. sorry but no more today. i havnt got time to write. but there will be more tomorrow