I'm so confused!

Originally posted by DarkC
I'm very sorry,
You are not responsible for your mother's death. It happens; many people who don't deserve to die do. I do believe there is a god out there, and no doubt will question his existence if I lost a beloved family member. But my thoughts are that everything that happens, there is a reason.
I won't tell you to get over it fast or slow; you will find your own pace.

It's good that you had the compassion to do this, Ronny. It shows that you are pure inside.

I probably don't understand what losing a family member is like, so I'll express my sympathies and hope in time, you'll feel better.

Have you lost a person close to you? No, so you don't know what it feel like.

Originally posted by SlipknoT
Who knows, she may have been a murderer or bank robber before you were born 😬 ......not to sound like an ass or anything

Your mother wouldn't want you to be in too much grief, would she?

She might be happy out there and waiting for you.

Originally posted by Lord Melkor
She might be happy out there and waiting for you.

Put a sock in it?

Originally posted by Dogbert
Put a sock in it?

Originally posted by Disco Moose
Who says you have to be over it now, tomorrow or next year? Heal at your own pace.

I don't think you should be feeling guilty...your mother I would gather from what you've said, would certainly not want you to.

And whether you believe in God or not is irrelevant really. God is to different people, very different things. In some people's mind, God is non-existent. That in itself, if you choose not to believe, is not a reason to feel guilty, hon. Your mother loved you, you loved your mother....God's existence or lack thereof, doesn't enter the equation.

And Ronny, ignore the idiots in here...they have the combined IQ of a salad bar.

Right.

I'm confused from reading this thread. From what I gleaned from the rabble of an attempt at coherent though, this belongs in the Religion forum.

Originally posted by Ronny
Okay so I'm just listening to these cds in my moms old cd shelf thing and im listening to this christian worship music cd and I'm feeling really guilty not beliving in god, My mom was really religious and she had breast cancer almost three years ago. and it spread all over her body and they wernt able to save herand of course they couldnt 'put her to sleep' so i had to watch her for about half a year wasting away in the greatist pain in my own house and it made it hard for me belive that any god who got so much worship from her would let her sufffer like so. So i compleatly lost it and stopped beliveing in it all together, and now im listening to this music and seeing that so many people belive in all this and dont care how much pain they o through now becuase thay belive that only 70-80 so years they'll suffer and then be rewarded after they die forever, and its scary for me to think about people actully accepting the fact that everyone dies, thats the only thing in life that is enivitable, and i just cant understand why theyre okay with that. I mean people have their doubts about life, like 'am i ever going to fall in love' or 'will i get my dream job and become a great hero-like person to my kids" and all i can think of is, is it really worth it thinking about all these things that so many people face and have to deal with like it REALLY matters. does it really matter? No im starting to think maybe since jesus did that whole crusify thing at the end of his life for all the sins that the human race commitited maybe all the really good people in the world have to suffer alot at the end for the people they care most about, and im feeling horrible because ive been such a horrid person in my life and i dont want to have to be responsible for what my mother went through and its just killing me. I feel like such a digusting person, and ive been crying like a 4 year old for the last 10 mintues thinking about this.

also, everything people deal with really matters. so thinking about the things people deal with really matters too although it's not a top prioroty thing it does matter. it's life darling and nothing can change that.

Originally posted by Ronny
I know that everyone goes through shit like this but it doesnt really feel like it, alot of people i know belive in God and it makes me feel even worse.

I'm not trying to be selfish or anything, I just feel so guilty for my mothers death because she felt she had o be there for me and look out for me and getting breast cancer would get in the way so she never tested in fear that shed get it. And I know im being stupid thinking about sometyhing that happened two and a half years ago, I shouldve already been over it, along time ago.

It's understandable that something like this would make you lose your faith...but it's not your fault...and it doesn't matter what other people believe in...belief is a personal thing, and you shouldn't let other belief's shake your confidence in yourself..

and btw...there is no time limit on when you 'get over' something like that...you should do it at your own pace and come to terms with it in your own time....

and again I'm really sorry you, your family and your mother had to go through all that..at least she's a peace now...((cliched I know..but I think it's true))

Originally posted by Lord Melkor
Your mother wouldn't want you to be in too much grief, would she?

She might be happy out there and waiting for you.

Originally posted by DarkC
That wasn't the wisest thing to say...nosweat

I meant, when he dies at the age of 90, surrounded by his big family, she will be there waiting.

Or not, but beliefs like this can't hurt.

Originally posted by Dogbert
Right.

Originally posted by DarkC
I'm very sorry,
You are not responsible for your mother's death. It happens; many people who don't deserve to die do. I do believe there is a god out there, and no doubt will question his existence if I lost a beloved family member. But my thoughts are that everything that happens, there is a reason.
I won't tell you to get over it fast or slow; you will find your own pace.

It's good that you had the compassion to do this, Ronny. It shows that you are pure inside.

I probably don't understand what losing a family member is like, so I'll express my sympathies and hope in time, you'll feel better.

You are very welcome. hug

Originally posted by Ronny
I think somewhere inside of me I still do belive but ive covered it up and pushed it down because i dont want to belive anyone would hurt her like that. usally when someone does something to omeone i love i get pissed off and beat them up, and since you cant 'touch' god or anything i felt that the only thing i could do to hurt him was to deny him some how.

And what is unnatural about that? I've done that? I've cursed God, hated god, sworn God off....

I think the important thing for YOU is to stop pushing the feelings away, and deal with them as best as you can, so that you can find some inner peace..

Originally posted by Ronny
It shouldnt happen to good people like her. Thats my point.

on a non-religious point of view, i can sympathize for you, my grandma died of cancer and so did my cat and one of my other cats got feline h.i.v and I was devastated I didn't know how that could happen to such good hearted lives and it hurts me now to think about it but I know that they are in a better place now.

Originally posted by Fianna
I'm so so sorry Ronny 🙁

It's understandable that something like this would make you lose your faith...but it's not your fault...and it doesn't matter what other people believe in...belief is a personal thing, and you shouldn't let other belief's shake your confidence in yourself..

and btw...there is no time limit on when you 'get over' something like that...you should do it at your own pace and come to terms with it in your own time....

and again I'm really sorry you, your family and your mother had to go through all that..at least she's a peace now...((cliched I know..but I think it's true))

Originally posted by Disco Moose
And what is unnatural about that? I've done that? I've cursed God, hated god, sworn God off....

I think the important thing for YOU is to stop pushing the feelings away, and deal with them as best as you can, so that you can find some inner peace..