Vader walks into a Cantina at Mos Eisley....
Vader: Yo, Bartender, drink....
Jawa: UTINI!
Vader: Er.... Can i get the strongest shit you have, please?
Jawa: UTTTTTTTTTINI!
Vader: Please stop.
Jawa: Ooo gini utini seek mine dini?
Vader: I'm at the edge of choking your short a$$ if you don't get me the f*cking drink i asked for!
The Jawa proceeds to throw the drink in Vader's facial plate and laughs...
Vader: That was hilarious! Heh! I haven't laughed that hard in a while! I bet i can do something even funnier!
Vader ignites his Lightsaber and severs the Jawa's head from his body...
Vader: Hahaha! Wasn't that hilarious? Stupid little shit.
Vader: NOW SOMEONE GET ME MY GODDAMN DRINK BEFORE I GO SITH LORD ON ALL OF YOUR SHIT!
A civilian runs and pours Vader a drink....
Civilian: H-Here, sir... er...Lord....ER...DARTH VADER...ACKKKK!
Vader: How the hell am I supposed to drink?
Civilian: W-wha?
Vader: I HAVE A F*CKING HELMET STUCK ONTO MY FACE! HOW AM I GONNA DRINK THIS SHIT?
Civilian: but you asked for a d....
Vader: Hahaha! Just kidding.
Windu and Palpatine engage in a heated Lightsaber fight in his office...
Palpatine: YO!
Mace: Yo man. You gotta dies now.
Palpatine: What the f*ck? Why?
Mace: You just killed Three Jedi back der and we know yous a sith Lord!
Fisto: Two Jedi! I am still a-alive... I am bleeding fairly badly though.
Palpatine: So? You Jedi kill us all the time.
Mace: But you guys are Bad Guys. We are Good guys.
Palpatine: That's a matter of Opinion.
Mace: Nah, man. We don't go around killing Innocent people and blowin' shit up now do we?
Palpatine: You do, My friend. You kill us. And our buddies.
Mace: You had better shut your mouth before I bring back-up!
Palpatine: Your back up is back in the hallway all stabbed and slashed, my friend. Now MY back up on the other hand, is gon...
Mace: SHADDAP! YOU LOSE NOW!
Mace kicks Palpatines Lightsaber out of his hands and Palpatine falls by his window with Mace's saber to his throat....
Palpatine: Jesus christ....
Mace: Hahaha! You old prick. You die here.
Anakin runs into the office...
Palpatine: Look who's laughing now?
Mace: Me. AHAHAHAHA!
Anakin: WTF D00Dz?
Palpatine: Anakin, kill this [Derogatory Racist Term] before he kills me.
Mace: Anakin, Palpatine ain't really a G! He's a Busta!
Anakin: zOMG!!!11 I are stuck!
Mace: F*ck this shit. Can't wait.
Mace goes to kill Palpatine but Anakin pulls out his Lightsaber and swings.... Mace blocks it!
Mace: AHA! Thought you would cut my hand off or something?
Anakin: Doesn't matter much. Nick Gillard sez I am a Level nine duelist. This means you are teh dead.
Mace: Uh.... YEAH WELL I'M BLACK SO IF I JUMP OUTTA DIS WINDOW NO SHIT WILL GO DOWN!
Palpatine: They don't pay me enough at Lucasfilm to put up with this shit...
Anakin: Fine... Be a wussy...
Mace: F*CK YOU!
Mace goes to swing but Anakin blocks it and cuts his hand off...
Anakin: Who's the Noob now, you f*cking hack?
Palpatine: Uh.... ZZZZAP!
Palpatine unleashed a flurry of Force Lightning that blasts Mace window out of the office...
Palpatine: I'm glad that's over with....
Fisto: SOMEONE HELP ME! I AM BLEEDING... BAD...
Palpatine: Uh.... You are my new apprentice. Go kill the Green dood.
Anakin: W00T! More experience points!
Anakin walks up to Kit Fisto only to see the Alien jump up and ignite his Lightsaber...
Kit Fisto: Level Nine? Pfft.... Raging Fanboys have claimed me to be a Level Ten! Apparently, I can kill Dooku and Mace.... TOGETHER!
Anakin: Erm...
Fisto stabs Anakin....
Anakin: Shit... Um.... Well.... You die in the Movie and the Movie is Canon!
Kit Fisto: News flash, dipshit. This is the Movie and according to Darth Glentract none of the movie is Canon so you're f*cked.
Anakin: Oh.... Ow...
Anakin drops and dies and Fisto walks up to Palpatine. Palpatine is drinking tea...
Palpatine: Okay... What the f*ck?
Kit Fisto: I killed Gayboy. Now I get to kill you.
Palpatine throws his Coffee on Kit Fisto. Kit Fisto drops to the ground...
Palpatine: Databank sez - Nautolans are allergic to Coffee. You're finished.
Palpatine: Hacks to this script. Goin' for a jump.
Palpatine jumps out of his office Window... Screaming...
Fin.
Quinlan Vos runs up to Mace Windu with a Red Lightsaber and tells him he has joined Dooku's campaign to cripple the Republic . . .
Mace: Quinlan, you're a jive mutha f*cka for doin' dis shit.
Quinlan: Yeah, probably . . . Anyways, I just thought I'd let you know
I'm leaving the Jedi Order to become a Sith Apprentice to Dooku.
Mace: Nah man. That shit is whack.
Quinlan: I don't care. I'm leaving. You won't stop me.
Mace: L to the O to the L, son! I'd stomp yo ass!
Quinlan: Pardon?
Mace: Yah hurd me. I made Vaapad, mutha f*cka. I'd ruin yo sorry ass.
Quinlan: Um . . . I know Makashi.
Mace: So! I don't give a shit! I know Vaapad, mutha . . .
Quinlan: That's Gay.
Kit Fisto walks into the Office and stands beside Mace. Dooku follows shortly after and stands behind Quinlan . .
Kit: You two are under arrest by the order of the Galactic Senators Republican Comitee of Coruscant.
Dooku: What do you speak of?
Kit: Just come with us and we won't hurt you.
Dooku: Hahaha! Is Kit making a funny?
Kit: Hey, shut up!
Dooku: Or what? Are you going to whip me with one of your tentacles? AHAHAHA!
Mace: Enough! We'll settle dis mutha f*ckin' shizzat wif some Lightsabers n shit.
Quinlan: Uh . . . Master . . . Why do they want to fight us? Shouldn't we be wanting to fight them?
Dooku: Quinlan, the Jedi are morons. Why do you think that they're all going to get casually owned by their own Army?
Quinlan: What did you say?
Dooku: I said the Jedi are morons and let's go get Martini's after we kill these two . . .
Quinlan: Hmm... Okay...
Dooku: Phew.
Mace and Kit ignite their Lightsabers. Dooku and Quinlan do the same.
Kit: You have resisted arrest, so you must die now.
Dooku: Who resisted arrest?
Kit: You did.
Dooku: No, I laughed at your empty threat. There's a difference.
Kit: Okay. That's it. You're dead.
Dooku: Can I laugh at this Empty threat?
Kit: Sure, but on... Wha'? Hey! F*ck you!
Dooku: Hahaha! You damned Moron.
Mace: Dats it! I KILL ALL Y'ALL JIVE SUCKAS!
Mace flew in the air and began an attack on Quinlan. Kit then began to attack Dooku.
Dooku: Wow, you do truly suck at handling a Lightsaber.
Kit: What is with you and making fun of me? Are you some Racist *******?
Dooku: Yeah, I think Aliens are ugly abominations. Too bad you won't be alive long enough to dispute that!
Dooku utilizes flawlessly precise finesse and gashes Kit's throat with the tip of his Lightsaber. Kit falls to the ground and has a short seizure.
Dooku: Pwnt.
Mace and Quinlan get heated . . .
Quinlan: Um... Why are you doing this? Aren't you supposed to be a nice Jedi Master and turn me back to your order?
Mace: Nah, dawg. I live for the thrill of battle and for the love of victory!
Quinlan: So, would you kill me if I was willing to come back?
Mace cuts Quinlan in half. Quinlan instantly dies.
Mace: Yeah.
Dooku walks towards Mace with his Lightsaber extended. Mace gets ready to defend.
Dooku: It's been a while since the last time I outdueled you, Master Windu.
Mace: You need some serious help, dawg. Dat's my pro Jedi Diagnosis.
Dooku: Pfft . . . Go take your Diagnonsense somewhere else, Master Windu. You're a shoddy Jedi Master and I should have killed you long ago.
Mace: Let's do this, old man.
Mace and Dooku begin to duel and they duel for around half an hour. For the entire fight, they are virtually on par. They fight through a building for an hour and reach a roof top, where both are extremely tired . . .
Mace: You're good, Count.
Dooku: So are you. It seems we cannot outduel each other.
Mace: Yeah, Call a truce?
Dooku extends his hand and unleashes a flurry of Sith Lightning as Mace flies off of the top of the building.
Dooku: I win once again. Not a suprise.
Suddenly, Dooku falls to the ground as he feels a part of him is missing. He's right . . . His feet have been severed from his body by a dying Kit Fisto who barely slices him with his Lightsaber, Kit finally takes his last breath and dies.
Dooku: Little Pompous Green shit! Ack!
Fin!