Darth Vader meets a Jawa Order Jawa! 😱
The Jawa walks in with Red eyes and a Lightsaber hilt attached to his belt. The Jawa begins to speak Galactic Basic as Vader turns around . . .
Vader: A Jawa on my ship? How the hell did you get past security?
Vader looks around to see several Stormtroopers dismembered and killed surround by their own blood . . .
Jawa: A New Jawa Order Jawa getting past a few moronic Stormtroopers? Please.
Vader: Why the hell am I talking to such a dirty creature?
Jawa: Dirty? Don't call me dirty, Mr. Big and Tall, Or I'll put you on your arse!
Vader: Wow. I'm so scared of a stinky, half-ass engineer who takes pride in trapped defenseless Astromech Droids.
Jawa: What the . . . ? You truly know nothing of our power!
Vader: Okay, Let's analyze this: Sith Lord VS Little Alien Midget. I can do the Math. Can you?
Jawa: Fallible Math.
Vader: Wha' . . . ? Pardon me?
Jawa: Did you not hear what I said?
Vader: I'll have you know I heard it just fine.
Jawa: So why are you playing stupid?
Vader: Enough small talk, Small guy. You die now!
Vader ignites his Lightsaber and floats towards the Jawa. The Jawa instantly busts out his hands and releases a torrent of Sith Lightning at Vader, smashing him against a nearby wall and damaging his resporator. Vader dies.
Jawa: There's the answer to your equation, Math Boy.
Sidious appears out of nowhere, but it's no regular Sidious . . . IT'S DE SIDIOUS! *GASP*
Sidious: *Let's out Evil Maniacal Laughter.*
Jawa: Wow. How intimidating.
Sidious: What the hell? SHADDAP!
Jawa: No.
Sidious: You've killed my Apprentice! He was a youngling compared to you. Join me and we can't pwn the Galaxy! You will sit among me as my Apprentice and we shall watch worlds crumble!
Jawa: Why would I share the Galaxy with you? The New Jawa Order already subliminally owns the Galaxy. I came here to quietly dispatch you and destroy this flagship. No one would know who did it. Hell, no one knows that the New Jawa Order Exists.
Sidious: Don't be a fool! Join me!
Jawa: Is that your best Persuasion Pitch? "Join me"?
Sidious: Yeah, pretty much.
Jawa: Hey . . . Did you . . . Wanna fight now?
Sidious: Sure. . . Sure.
Sidious goes to throw Lightning at the Jawa but the Jawa eats it and Force Pushes Sidious into a wall, breaking every bone in his body . . .
Sidious: But . . . I'm . . . DE Sids! I can pwn Ragnos!
Jawa: Lolz! I have x10 Ragnos power, dood.
Fin!
Exar Kun walks among the streets of Nar Shadaa after fooling everyone into thinking he died. He runs into Kreia on the Ebon Hawk's Landing bay...
Kreia: Watch where you walk!
Exar: Silence, you old bag! I'll walk how I want to!
Kreia: I sense a great deal of Power within you . . . What is your name?
Exar: I'm Kun. Exar Kun.
Kreia: Indeed you are . . . This is all too awkward. You died around two decades ago.
Exar: I sense your power. It is great. This is awkward for me as well.
All of the sudden, thirteen Bounty Hunters walk up to the two Force Sensitives.
Rytoo: I am Rytoo! Surrend... EXAR KUN?
Exar: Yes?
Rytoo: I don't understand! You died years ago!
Exar: Think again.
Just then. Exar ignited his Lightsaber and two Blue Lights tore through the thirteen Bounty Hunters within seconds . . .
Exar: F*cking goofs.
Kreia: Ah yes. You ARE a darkened one.
Exar: Lady, I'm a Sith and even YOU creep me the f*ck out. Now shoo!
Kreia: That's not a good idea, Kun. I'm more powerful than you think.
Exar: You wouldn't dare step up to me, Lady.
The Exile comes out of nowhere, wielding a Lightsaber.
Exile: EXAR KUN?!!?
The Exile then proceeds to jump off the Nar Shadaa landing bay, falling into the heart of the city, hundreds of feet below . . .
Kreia: Well, that WAS my potential apprentice.
Exar: I'll be on my way. I have to take over this planet by tommorow.
Kreia: Not so fast, Kun. You think you're so tough? Duel me!
Exar: Obviously being old has gotten to you. I'm one of the most powerful Sith to walk the Galaxy. You're just some old hag!
Kreia then ignites a Red Lightsaber and twirls it around as she smiles . . .
Kreia: C'mon, Pretty boy! BRRRRRING IT!
Exar Kun ignites his Double Bladed Blue Lightsaber and the two duel. Exar outmaneuvers her almost instantly and cuts off her remaining hand . . .
Kreia: AUGH!
Exar: Hahaha! I have teh amulets, noob. You're nothing!
Exar Walks away.
Kreia: Wait, you're not just going to leave me like this, are you? I'm a defenseless old lady, for christs sakes! DAMN YOU EXAR! EXAR? Exar? exar . . . Please help me . . . *cries*
Fin!