Most of Have-nuke-istan's meager national budget is put into military contracts. It is unclear why, as none of its neighboring countries wishes to invade it. However, it remains that there is an expansive military science complex in the nation's capitol. Rumor has it that the scientists therein ARE working on developing nuclear weapons, so the Have-nuke-istanian army will no longer have to throw chunks of plutonium at its enemies by hand. Reducing instances of cancer and death during peacetime is a top priority.
Originally posted by staraddict93hystericalhysterical
Have-nuke-istan has a rich culture of poverty and helplessness. Ancient customs such as the Face-Slapping Dance and the Recitation of Epic Poems about the Janitorial Arts are still widely practiced amongst its citizenry. The nation's best known author, Tanak Mashov, is famous for his "God Help Me, I'm Starving to Death" trilogy. The trilogy is unfinished, because Mashov starved to death while writing it. In fact, the trilogy consists of only one volume, but everyone knows that the author would have written two more books if he had lived long enough to do so. Film in Have-nuke-istan consists solely of pornography, which is illegal. Anyone caught producing, acting in, or watching a movie in Have-nuke-istan is immediately castrated, which effectively eliminates the possibility of repeat offense. For this reason, about half the nation's population has had all or part of their genitals lopped off, usually with a blunt axe. A major trade has sprung up recently in the country that deals in replacement parts, which are usually just carrots (for men) and jelly donuts (imported from France for women). These prosthetic genitals are secured with Scotch tape and exhibited proudly on national holidays.There are minority groups of Muslims, Christians, and Luddites, but they are politely mutilated whenever possible. The national sport of Have-nuke-istan is kicking old people. To play, two teams of eight people are required, as well as an old person who wants to die. There are two rounds to the game, meaning that each team has one chance to kick the old person to death. The rounds are timed. If the old person voids their bowels, begs for mercy, or dies with a long, drawn-out death rattle, bonus points are awarded. Steel-toed boots are strictly disallowed, but everyone wears them anyway. The sport is largely encouraged by the government.
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