Originally posted by Oneness
All I want to do is move to another country, take care of my parents, forget about how ****ed up I've become, and die after I've helped them and regained the ability to care about others.I'm living in a waking nightmare! There isn't any value in me. I hate myself more than anything. I can't think straight.
I think it's too late I've made an enemy of the law and of countless people and I think they're coming up the stairs to kidnap and burn me alive. I feel footsteps.
What drove me to becoming a despicable low-life piece of trash was that I was left out BACK WHEN I didn't deserve it. I'd been through so much and that's when I learned that we're on our own and nothing is guaranteed and you're going to be taken advantage of for kindness as much as anything. That's the truth of the world, and just because you do the right things didn't mean I'd get rewarded. It just so happened I wasn't, the thought that there's no rhyme or reason, I think is what drove me mad.
It's true, there isn't a rhyme or reason, this is just chaos.
The day after tomorrow I'll wake up and not feel scared or ashamed anymore, I have to maintain the illusion I had day before yesterday when I was harassing people. That state of mind is all there'll be to me, and it will get me ahead and just maybe get me most of what I want before my time is done.
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Originally posted by AbnormalButSaneYouTube video
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I have to learn everything there is to know about excel, powerpoint, outlook express, and sales in a day today and I guess you could say I'm not feeling the motivation either.
Because tomorrow is the big interview, I have to shave, do my hair, go find a collared dress shirt and cackies from JC penny and somehow conjure up the price gouged crappy clothes.
Plus I have to move out in six months.
Originally posted by AbnormalButSaneI really can't deal with the pity it would make me furious.
No, that just shows you deserve the help to feel better. petpet
I'd rather be thought of as a clown than be pitied.
I'll pull myself together and when I do I won't have friends that feel sorry for me, I'll have FWB females who are attracted to me, genuinely. I'm not a child FYI.
Thought I had something, and I did, pity. The realization just pushed me over the edge ya know.
If you show pity I will bite your face off and go to my cave.
Originally posted by Oneness
I have to learn everything there is to know about excel, powerpoint, outlook express, and sales in a day today and I guess you could say I'm not feeling the motivation either.Because tomorrow is the big interview, I have to shave, do my hair, go find a collared dress shirt and cackies from JC penny and somehow conjure up the price gouged crappy clothes.
Plus I have to move out in six months.
You can do it! Good luck!