Chuck "The Badass" Norris [Merged]

Best link ever 👆

Don't miss the Vin Diesel and Mr. T sites as well.

"Chuck Norris doesn't wake at the crack of dawn, The dawn cracks when Chuck Norris wakes."

😆

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants

Who would win in a fight, God or Chuck Norris? Trick question, Chuck Norris is God.

on the sixth day, God created Chuck norris.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris is so good he'll shit your pants for you.

Chuck Norris once ate 73 hot dogs in 2 minutes and the resulting shit formed the Taj Mahal.

😖

Originally posted by Mando
Chuck Norris is so good he'll shit your pants for you.

Originally posted by silver_tears
Chuck Norris once ate 73 hot dogs in 2 minutes and the resulting shit formed the Taj Mahal.

😖

Chuck Norris has passed gas once. Its now known as the Bubonic Plague.

😂 That's the best one yet.

Originally posted by BackFire
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris

When Neil Armstrong uttered "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." on the moon in 1969, he failed to notice Chuck Norris sitting behind him in a lawnchair, a beer in hand, until Chuck Norris gave Armstrong a swift roundhouse kick to the face. Armstrong never returned

Nice site😂

The Vin Diesel one is even better. -

Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors

There's no such thing as a near death experience. There is however, a near Chuck Norris experience.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

When Chuck Norris got lost in the mountains one time, he used is own pubic hair as kindling for a fire.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Originally posted by Mando
When Chuck Norris got lost in the mountains one time, he used is own pubic hair as kindling for a fire.