Last Friday. Pregnancy has put a bit of a damper on things. I'm in the mood every morning but he leaves early for work, and in the evenings I still get nauseated. We both work and go to class most every day as well.
When we do it's pretty fantastic though. Hooray for hormones and increased blood flow. 😛
I feel like such a failure, wat was this all for my life i mean. Im tired maybe im better off dead, the thought of my body being perfectly still makes me feel at peace. I would love to not have to worry. Im tired of being told i look like someone else esp wen tat someone is ur worst enemy. Im tired of being ditched or played around with wen u know u are. Im tired of giving wen u give more and try more and get nothing back. My chest hurt this week at first i was sad and forgiving but now i want to die fast at sea. No funeral just dead and gone.
Ive been try to change my mood w sex even met a new guy named mike, told me to call him mark on the count of his wife. Told me the rich history of his bad boy image and how he liked to get together w guys and girls sometimes even at the same time, a real pig. He looks like patrick bateman and dresses the part. Hes the first real mean guy ive slept with all the others were posers, im turned on by the devilish look in his eyes, the power of a confident man almost like a killer. I showed him wat i got and right away we got along, he called me after to thank me and offered me one of his girls. Men are pigs and jerks. I get the sense that i could control him.