Your Wife/Husband Dies.....

How can you say it's not selfish to deny someone the right to see anyone else and then list an entire wealth of reasons why YOU wouldn't like it?

What about THEM?

-AC

I gave my answers loud and clear.

You said it's not selfish to deny someone that right, fine. Then you went on to say "I wouldn't want to be forgotten, replace or worse. Have someone put forth of me."

That's selfish.

-AC

Originally posted by DanieLs_4_Ever
I dont believe it as selfish for someone to deny their other to see anyone else after they've died. In fact I think it quite loving, because I wouldnt want to be forgotten about, or worse..replaced and have someone put forth of me. But that's just me. I do however, understand you.

Actually, that's INCREDIBLY selfish. Not allowing someone to move on with their life and denying them the chance to be happy again?

Originally posted by DanieLs_4_Ever
I dont believe it as selfish for someone to deny their other to see anyone else after they've died. In fact I think it quite loving, because I wouldnt want to be forgotten about, or worse..replaced and have someone put forth of me. But that's just me. I do however, understand you.

Wow, that's incredibly selfish and heartless of you! I think you misunderstand the concept of love. You should want the one you love to be happy not miserable and lonely for the rest of their lives just in order to honour your memory.

Hoping they pine over you just because you never want to be forgotten is both selfish, insecure and almost spiteful.

Aparently 3:4 say that it is selfish, and in fact it is. I would rather die knowing my wife is happy being married than unhappy being alone. But then again if she's happy being alone, than I'll stop by to keep her company...

Wow, you people COMPLETELY missed my concept. I didnt say I wanted them to crumble up and die all alone, like everyone is taking it. As a matter of fact I didnt even SAY I wouldnt want Daniel/anyone else to re-marry. I just stated that I think it would be rightful for them not to, so they wouldnt forget about me.
That's actually beyond far from selfish.

Why do you assume that continuing and re-marrying means that they'll forget you though? It doesn't mean that at all.

It's not "rightful" for someone to live alone for the rest of their lives. If they choose to, fine. It's not default though. People shouldn't HAVE to feel that way.

It is selfish to say "It's rightful for them not to remarry because I don't want to be forgotten." Which is what you just said.

-AC

Originally posted by DanieLs_4_Ever
Wow, you people COMPLETELY missed my concept. I didnt say I wanted them to crumble up and die all alone, like everyone is taking it. As a matter of fact I didnt even SAY I wouldnt want Daniel/anyone else to re-marry. I just stated that I think it would be rightful for them not to, so they wouldnt forget about me.
That's actually beyond far from selfish.

If you believe that just by remarrying someone that you'll be forgotten, that is more you insecurity than best wishes for the one you supposedly love.

Did anyone see scary movie three? One of the actors agrees with his dying spouse to not remarry, but puts a hand over her mouth when she is trying to say the words (and no sex)

I probably wouldn't know what i'd do until the time came... but I know that i'd never ever be as happy... it would be a second love.. nothing would ever beat the first one. I might remarry, but I probably wouldn't.... I would want my husband to move on and try to continue on with life.. even though it might be hard.. i'd want him to find happiness... and that would be what he would want me to do too. But it'd never be the same.

Originally posted by shaber
Did anyone see scary movie three? One of the actors agrees with his dying spouse to not remarry, but puts a hand over her mouth when she is trying to say the words (and no sex)

The "broken in half" scene? When the officer tries to explain to the guy that his wife is broken in half between a car and a tree....pretty funny

I'm not married but I think personally,if my significant other were to die, it would be very hard and would take a long time for me to be able to love someone as much as him. If I were to die though I would hope that he would move on and be happy and make the best with the rest of his life.

i would live out the rest of my life alone and miserable. no way i could ever remarry.

In all seriousness I would if at all possible insist that they not have a relationship with anyone I wouldn't think highly of (in the event of my death).

i wouldnt remarry, infact id probably end up killin myself after they were gone, if its the woman im in love with.

we have to consider that u losin ur sex drive or sumthin to warm urself with at night in bed is not as much as the one whos dying will lose. even if she never asked i would willingly try to never get involved with sum1.